CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR 2015

“He just disappeared, again!” said Ronald.

“Yes, and I have no idea why,” said Stacey.

“But, we do,” said James. His new wife looked down.

“Huh? What?” said Stacey.

‘“Before we came here today, Jenna and I talked. I’d asked her why her dad hadn’t said that ‘he’ was giving her away. At first she didn’t know, but then she started thinking,” said James.

“And,” said Ronald.

“Well, Jenna said, that before he went down to get you, Mister Carter, he and Jenna had a few words,” said James.

“Had words?” said Stacey.

“Well, something Jenna did, or a look she gave him, she’s not sure, made him think that there had been some plan to maybe get him to walk her down the aisle in tandem,” said James.

“I think I kinda looked around for you daddy,” she said. “You weren’t there, but for some reason Daddy David, asked me if there had been some kind of arrangement for you to walk me down the aisle too, with him. I told him no, of course not. But then . . .”

“But, then he came down the aisle and got me,” said Ronald.

“Oh my God,” said Stacey. “He figured it out. It was too late for him to back out, which he would have done if he’d have known about it in advance. So . . .”

“So what are you saying Stacey?” said Ronald.

“So, he decided to do as much as he was absolutely required to do and no more,” said Stacey. ”He saw walking you down the aisle, Jenna, as validating his fathership. Then he saw us as trying to water it, his fathership, down, again, and well . . .”

“Damn it!” said Ronald. “I also assured him that I wasn’t there for that. I guess he just didn’t believe me.”

“No, daddy, it was me. Thinking about it, my looking around for you, when I came into the foyer, had to have made it clear to him that I was looking for you to join him and me,” said Jenna. “I just didn’t realize it until I talked to James, and then, all of us here, now.”

“Daddy, I guess I never realized just how much daddy David hated you. I do now. And, daddy David is in the wrong. I mean the divorce and everything was not good. I know he was bad hurt when you left him, momma. I’m an adult and I understand some of these things. But, the kind of hatred that daddy David is holding inside of himself is way too much and, oh, I just don’t know,” she said. She threw herself into her husband’s arms and sobbed.

“We’ve got to find him,” said Stacey. “We can all sit here and argue about the wisdom of doing so, but for whatever reason: we have to try and get him back and being part of the family again; and, give him holy hell for pulling another disappearing act . . .”

“Yes, I agree,” said Ronald. “You’re absolutely right on all counts, Stacey. I don’t care if we have to capture him, tie him down, and force him to listen to us, we have to find him.”

“Yes, daddy, I want to talk to him too. I need to talk to him. I owe him like nobody else,” said Jenna.

James gave her look. Ronald saw it. He knew then that his new son-in-law did not know about Jenna’s guilt in the shooting of the three druggies. He’d be talking to his wife, oh yes, he and Stacey had some thinking to do.

The search for the missing daddy was on again.

******

Okay, was my cutting out without saying so much as goodbye the wrong thing to do? Thinking about it now, two hundred and fifty miles and two months removed from the event; well, I was honestly not sure. What I was sure of was that at the time I didn’t think I had a choice, not a good choice at any rate.

As hard core as my exes were early on about forcing “uncle status” upon me and separating me from the fatherhood of my baby; well, that’s how hard core I was feeling now toward my ex-brother pretending to be equal in that position with me.

And, there was the fact that I had taken the fall for my baby and done the time. I didn’t regret that, no I didn’t. A man has to protect his children no matter what they do. I had no choice there either.

So here I was in a bar I’d never been in before: The Wild West. Yeah, it was another country western blued and tattooed place of refuge. Talk about lost and lonely. Felt like half of my life was like that. My good friend John Daniels, some folks call him Jack, was more than sympathetic with my plight. Here in Douglas he was about the only friend I had. The good news was he didn’t argue with me.

Being up-up-and-away, though I was, didn’t mean that the bunch of them couldn’t contact me. I had dumped my cell, but there was still the Internet. And, though I didn’t have a computer of my own, the public library did, and I occasionally used it for this and that. Okay, and yes, I did check my emails. I didn’t answer any of the ones that they sent me, but I did read them, and, deleted them as soon as I had.

Earlier emails had indicated that they were looking for me. I didn’t want to be found, so I didn’t answer, as I said. Like before I knew that if Ronald had really wanted to, though it would have cost him some bucks to do it, he could have hired a PI to find me. He hadn’t done it. I wondered at that since they all seemed so eager to know where I was. But then something happened that stopped me.

Aunt Delia emailed me and the information she provided was that which I could not ignore: Ronald Carter, my worst enemy in the world, had terminal kidney disease. He needed a transplant and he needed a donor, and donors with his blood type were hard to come by, and I was his blood type. And, there were apparently other complications; he needed a donor that was pretty much an exact match.

That night, the night I got Aunt Delia’s letter; I drank; I drank a lot. The next morning, my decision made for me, by Aunt Delia, I headed back for Phoenix. I checked myself into Phoenix General and made the deal to make an anonymous donation to save my traitorous brother’s life. Aunt Delia would know, but nobody else. Would the rest of them be able to guess? Maybe, but they would not know for sure, and that’s the way I wanted it. I’d had enough of their worthless gratitude and phony sympathy. The incident at the church had sealed it for me.

I was in and out of the hospital in a week’s time. I’d decided to shack up in Phoenix for another week before chancing the long drive back to my digs in Douglas; well, I was still pretty weak.

I hadn’t been on the computer in the time since I’d gone up to Phoenix to donate the kidney. I was sitting in the room at the hotel set aside for travelers to use a computer. There was one from Aunt Delia.

Nephew,

I know you were the one to donate to save Ronald. It was the right thing to do. And don’t worry, none of them know and none of them even seem to suspect though I suppose one or another of them might draw that conclusion down the line. I can tell you, Stacey cried her eyes out for joy when they were given the news that they had found a donor. The relief on the faces of the lot of them was palpable. Oh, and the prognosis for Ronald is good.

One last thing, nephew, At some point, you might want to rethink your decision to disappear. They did bad, the two of them, but it’s done and over with and we all need to get by it, even you dear nephew. Hoping to see you sooner rather than later.

AD

******

I hadn’t answered Aunt Delia letter. What would have been the point except to have her write me back and continue to urge me to forgive and forget; I was not at a place in my life where I could do that. It was more than doubtful that I ever would be. Only one thing would have persuaded me to return to the fold: Stacey dumping my ex-brother and coming back to me. I was more than well aware that a fairy tale of that magnitude would have taken divine intervention to effect. No, I was condemned to be alone and to endure the fire in my belly that simply would not die!

******

I had however, since my time in the joint, adopted what I euphemistically referred to as my pragmatic-self. Translated, that meant that I was going to be on the lookout for a woman who I could trust and who did not mind the baggage that I would be bringing into the relationship. Was there actually such a woman in the sentient universe? God how I hoped so!

The Javelina was kinda known as a middle scale bistro that served pretty good booze, even sophisticated cocktails. I had been enjoying my favorite one of the latter, a Manhattan, when I noted her sitting across the room from where I was at, at the bar.

I’d seen her before, but couldn’t quite remember from where. I decided to ask her. What the hell, right, all she could do was tell me to get lost. The love of my life had essentially done that to me what could a woman that I didn’t even really remember do to me? Damn little was the answer to that question, damn little for sure.

I moseyed more or less casually over to where she was sitting. “Mind if I join you?” I said, brazening out an introduction. She stared at me as at something alien to her personal space. But, strangely maybe, she nodded. I plopped down across from her. She had a half smile playing across her face.

“My name is . . . “ I started.

“I know who you are,” she said.

“Okay,” I said. “But . . .” Her smile broadened.

“Rozelle,” she said. Now, I really was in a quandary. She was so familiar, but Rozelle? I was certain I didn’t know any Rozelles, but I must.

I took the bull by the horns. “Like to dance?” I said. She didn’t quite laugh. But, she did stand up answering my request in the affirmative.

I took her hand and led her out onto the floor. We slow danced around for some little time. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Rozelle,” I said. “I have to tell you, well, you’re very pretty, but . . .”

“Your name is AZ195623,” she said, smiling very widely now. I know my face must have fallen a foot.

“You know my . . .”

“I’m Fillmore,” she said. “I’m on vacation this week, well kinda.”

“You’re Fillmore, prison guard Fillmore! You look so different, I mean . . .” I said.

“That’s me, can’t deny it,” she said.

Hard-ass Fillmore, known for no nonsense and even a streak of cruelty as some had said. I’d seen her virtually every day for more than six years, but she never looked like she did tonight, and she was slimmer too. There was no way I was going to recognize her.

“I hope, I mean I hope I haven’t done anything to upset you,” I said, utterly unnecessarily.

“Look AZ195623, if you feel uncomfortable around me that’s okay. I’ll understand and we can just go our separate ways. But, if you plan on keeping me company, you’re going to have to buy this girl a drink. So, which is it?’ she said.

“I’m buying the drinks for darn sure,” I said. “Oh, and the name’s David.” She nodded.

“Okay, David it is,” she said. I waved to LeAnn who happened to have floor duty. She came over and we ordered. LeAnn did give me a funny look.

“I guess I should ask what brings you here, I mean to the burg. It’s a couple of hundred miles from your workplace,” I said.

“Don’t work there anymore. I’m a salesperson now for Marbury Transport Systems, MTS,” she said.

”Sounds impressive,” I said.

“And how about you?” she said.

“Actually, I work here at the Javelina. I’m a janitor and a maintenance guy,” I said. She raised an eyebrow at that.

“Okay,” she said kinda slowly.

“It’s the best I could do coming out of there,” I said. “Not many places want a con on their payroll.”

“Hmm, yes, I know it can be hard. But . . .”

“But . . .?” I said.

“But, you had skills, I remember looking at your file back in the day,” she said.

“Yeah, but skills that other guys also have and they’re not cons. Anyway, I get by. There’s no serious pressure, and I like that particular feature of my job description.”

“Okay,” she said.

“But, I have a question for you,” I said.

“Okay?” she said.

“How come you knew my inmate number? I mean you must have been around thousands of cons in your career. You couldn’t have memorized all of their numbers,” I said.

“No, just yours,” she said. My look must have been screaming, “Tell me damn it!”

“You defending that black kid from cell block-D when he was transferred over to your, I mean cell block-C got my attention. Not many of the inmates would have defended another of a different color especially when they were getting the hell beat of them by the guards. I wanted to learn more about you, at first just for interest sake, but then I thought, well, too bad you weren’t outside, free; I’d have made a move on you. I mean you are good looking if a bit of a sad sack. But hell, you were in prison; sad is the name of the game in there. But, I have a question,” she said.

“Okay,” I said.

“Did you do it? I just cannot see you killing three men. I followed you some in the joint, and it just didn’t compute,” she said.

“What difference does it make,” I said, it was not a question. “I’ve done the time, and I don’t want to be reliving the event anymore.”

“Okay, so that answers my question: you didn’t do it. You covered for somebody else. I don’t see your daughter as the culprit, too young and inexperienced, and yes, I know the details of the case, the basics anyway.

“Maybe your ex-wife, or her current hubby. Those make more sense. Anyway, I won’t ask you to tell me any more. I get it that you don’t want to be reliving any of this,” she said.

“You saying all of this makes me want to ask another question,” I said. She nodded.

“You, being here, tonight, just an unbelievable coincidence?” I said. She smiled.

“Not exactly,” she said. “I live here now, that is a coincidence, but, I saw you at the supermarket few days ago. I followed you. You came here afterwards. So you might say I laid in wait for you to return. I wasn’t ready to meet you that first day.” My turn to nod.

“So then, here we are in what, an awkward situation,” I said.

“Hmm, awkward? Maybe not. You wanna go to my place?” she said. The look on my face made her laugh.

“Well yeah,” I said.

“Don’t look so surprised Mister Carter. I was a prison guard for eight years. I’m self-possessed enough to be able to say what I want and do what I want without feeling self-conscious, I mean if you get my drift,” she said.

“Okay,” I said, a kind of shocked respect no doubt clearly noticeable in my tone.

The ride to her place, and it was in her car I didn’t have one, was quiet. I think she smiled the whole way. I didn’t smile, but I wanted to, weird.

The red wine she served me when we got to her place was good. The apartment itself, a two bedroom affair and nicely furnished, was good. The teddy she changed into was good. And, the sex afterward the best I’d ever had or so I thought after the fact. Jesus this woman was way over the top and way out of my league. Could she make me forget Stacey? The jury was out on that one, but the possibility was very much in play.

She took me, not the other way around. She undressed me. She played with my dick, but didn’t suck it. She did make me suckle at her breasts, very gently. She made me lick her anus, very roughly. She made me eat her most secret treasure, very enthusiastically. And the kissing and cuddling afterward were meant to allay my most fearsome doubts about myself and my life. I wanted this woman. I needed this woman; I mean I needed her more than anything I ever needed. Whatever skills I had at courting a woman were about to be tested and tested big time. Oh, and again, could she make me forget Stacey? The answer after the fact was an unequivocal yes if one night of thrilling sex and togetherness was any indication.

******

“Okay, buster,” said a red eye’d Stacey, “We’ll be wheeling you outta here this afternoon.”

“Okay, babe, can’t wait to get home,” said Ronald. “Hospital food ain’t the greatest.”

She started to cry again. “Honey, it’s all good. You needn’t keep on cryin’ all of the time,” said Ronald.

“I’m just so grateful to God or whatever angel was watching over us,” she said.

“Yeah, I know. I agree. It had to be divine intervention,” he said. “I mean what are the odds that the registry would find a donor in time.”

She started crying all over again. “I am just so grateful,” she sobbed.

“Anyway, the doctor said I could go home early?” he said. She wiped away her tears with the hankie she’d pulled from her purse.

“Yes, and the outlook is good,” she said. “Thank God, thank God, thank God!”

“How is Jenna doing?” he said.

“She’s good. She and her hubby are waiting for us at the house,” she said. “Our lawyer daughter passed the bar you know. She’s employed now. Works for Misguez and Salcedo downtown. I mean she got the job: the one she’d been angling for.”

“I am so proud of her. I wish daddy number two was here to share her success. If anyone deserves to take pride in her success it’s David Carter,” he said.

“Yes, he does,” she said. “But what can we do. He has to want to be here, and he doesn’t. Even if we find him, he’ll just blow us off and run away again,” she said. He nodded and it was a nod tinged with sadness.

“I guess. I really miss the guy. What he did for Jenna is way beyond loving, next to giving his life for her, well . . .” he said. She nodded, and her nod was likewise tinged with sadness.

“Someday,” she said.

“Yeah, someday,” he said.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE 2015

“Daddy,” she screamed, as her mother wheeled her biological father through the entry way. His smile was a mile wide.

Hugs and kisses all around. “Jenna, get your daddy a cup of coffee will you. He’s been harassing me about having a cup since this morning,” said Stacey.

“Coming right up,” said Jenna, she disappeared into the kitchen.

“And how are you, James?” said Stacey.

“Good, good,” he said. He turned his attention to his father-in-law.

“And you Mister Carter?” he said.

“Fine, a little weak. I’ve been on my back for the past ten days, so I’m a little stiff, and as I said, weak,” said Ronald Carter, “but okay otherwise.”

“Well, anything you need,” said the younger man. Stacey smiled her broadest in a long time.

And there was peace and love if also a little pathos all around.

******

The knock on the door of the two bedroom apartment the Ellisons shared was unexpected. James answered it.

“Aunt Delia!” he said. “Welcome and good morning.”

“Well, thank you, James,” she said, as she entered with his gesture to do so.

“Aunt Delia,” said Jenna, as she came into the front room from the kitchen. “You’re just in time for breakfast.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, dear,” said Aunt Delia.

Over the next hour the trio talked about nothing and “almost” everything. James excused himself to go to the store and pick up some things that Jenna told him she needed for dinner.

“So you’re happy, everything is going well for the two of you, Jenna?” said Aunt Delia.

“Yes, yes, Aunt Delia. Everything is fine. Well, almost. I mean you know,” she said.

“Yes, your daddy David,” she said.

“Yes,” said Jenna.

“The time will come when you will be together again,” said Aunt Delia. “I know it.”

Jenna sighed. “I hope so, it has been so long and so many things have happened and he has done so much for us, especially me, and all any of us seem to do is to make his life harder. How can that be, Aunt Delia. I mean it makes no sense. We, especially me, have no intention of making daddy hurt or feel bad or suffer or any of it. So why is it that all of those things keep happening to him,” she said.

“It’s not you or your intentions, dear. Really it’s not. The only thing that stands in the way of your daddy David being here and ending his misery is the undeniable fact that he can’t get his wife, his ex-wife, your momma, out of his heart. Nothing else has ever mattered to him as much as Stacey Carter. He may at some point find another woman to take her place, but failing that, he will never be completely happy again.”

“I failed him too, Aunt Delia. He took my punishment for killing those men. Isn’t that an even bigger thing than him losing momma as his wife?” said Jenna.

Her aunt smiled. “Hard as it may be to believe, Jenna, him helping you made things a little easier for him to accept his misery and to deal with it. It gave him something he could feel good about at a time when nothing else could. And, again, as hard as it may be to believe, his time in prison was nothing compared to the heartache of losing his soul mate to another; I mean that quite literally.”

“Aunt Delia, I have another cross to bear and I don’t know if I can,” said Jenna.

“You want to tell James about that day with the men,” said Aunt Delia.

“Yes, but . . .”

“I’m a pretty good judge of character, Jenna. James will deal with the knowledge, if you do tell him, very well. He loves you, that’s plain to see and he will do just as your daddy David did and protect you at all costs,” she said.

“Okay, then, I’m going to tell him. Would you . . .” she said.

“Yes, of course I will, that’s a no brainer as they say these days, she said.

******

The only one in the room not short of breath, if that were the way to say it, was James. The two women, Aunt Delia and Jenna, were as nervous as ticks—and short of breath.

“Okay?” he said.

“James we need to talk,” said Jenna. “I’ve been keeping something from you since, well, since the beginning; but, no more. You deserve better and today is the day I come clean.” She sounded like the lawyer she was.

“Okay,” he said. “But, as far as I’m concerned you don’t need to tell me anything that makes you as uncomfortable as you obviously are. I’m good.”

“No, no, today’s the day,” said Jenna. He spread his hands in an “okay tell me gesture.”

“James some ten years ago, my dad, daddy David, helped me. James, he took the wrap for me. I killed those three men. I called my dad. He came and convinced me to step aside and let him take my punishment. I was so frightened that I let him. To my everlasting shame I let him.

“Then to make things worse, if that were even possible I let uncle Ronald, daddy Ronald, be my dad and I loved him too and it made my other daddy, daddy David sad and maybe humiliated. The wedding, well you know about that, was maybe the final straw for him. That’s why he ran off; but, as I said, I know you figured that one out by yourself,” she said.

James looked over at Aunt Delia. “Aunt Delia?” he said.

“You knew this already didn’t you, James?” she said. He looked away.

“Yes, well, not at first, but about a year ago, a little less; I heard your mom and dad Henry talking. They were distraught. They couldn’t believe what your dad David had sacrificed, and how bad they thought of themselves, the way they’d treated that good man. They were both crying crocodile tears. I snuck out before they discovered me.

“I didn’t say anything to you about my knowing. I decided to wait till you felt the need to tell me yourself. I guess that that is now,” he said.

“James, you are a very intelligent young man. I know you know how hard this was for Jenna to tell you, come clean, as she said. She asked me to sit in on this, what, confession. I agreed because I was pretty sure she’d need the support. But, of course, I did not know until this hour that you knew,” she said.

“James? You don’t hate me?” said Jenna.

“No, dear heart, I could never hate you, never. A dozen times I wanted to tell you that I knew, but I wasn’t sure how you might react. Hence, my waiting,” he said.

“Oh my God, James! You’re the best,” she said.

“James,” said Aunt Delia. “You’re a private investigator for your wife’s firm, right?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Then you have the resources of Jenna’s law firm. You need to find my nephew, James, and help him to return to the family. He may not ever again have the romantic love of his ex-wife, but he does have her respect and that of all of us. That will count for a lot if he can be convinced of the truth of it. I know it. He feels, and has felt since the beginning of all of this some fourteen years ago now, that he has been dumped on again and again with not a shred of caring, apart from what he sees as lip-service, from anyone. His level of hurt from that kind of mind set is incalculable,” said Aunt Delia. James looked down.

“I see what you mean ma’am,” he said. “We, Jenna and I, will be talking about how to do what you suggest. And, I promise to keep you informed.”

There was a feeling of purpose in the room that had not been there before. Jenna went to her aunt and hugged her. “Aunt Delia, I know you’ve been able to contact daddy in the past when no one else has been able to. Please tell daddy that he’s wrong to think that any of us don’t care, especially me,” said Jenna.

“Jenna, that’s kind of wrong. I email him from time to time, and from time to time he answers me. You all can do the same, and I know you have,” she said. “He doesn’t answer you because he thinks of himself as having been slighted too many times and doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. That said, I will email him what you said.”

“Thank you,” said Jenna. The younger woman sensed something in the look of the older. “Aunt Delia?”

“Jenna, James . . .” she started.

“Huh?” said Jenna.

“There’s something else. Something kinda big,” said Aunt Delia. The looks on the faces of the young couple was nothing if not concern. “Actually it’s very big.”

“Aunt Delia?” said James.

“Your daddy Ronald’s illness, how much do you know about it?” she said.

“Well, that it was bad, kidney failure. He had to be on dialysis two and three times a week is what mom told me, a blood thing,” said Jenna.

“Yes, but there were some other factors involved with it. He did not have long if they couldn’t get an exact match. A close match in some cases is good enough, but not in your daddy Ronald’s case,” said Aunt Delia.

“Okay, but he’s cured isn’t he?” said James.

“Hmm, apparently, but of course with these things there is always the chance for problems,” she said, “a relapse as they say.”

“Aunt Delia?” said Jenna.

“Jenna, your daddy Ronald needed an exact match, and, a lot of luck. There was no exact match of the blood type or DNA or whatever he needed on the registry, not at the time and considering the urgency of his need.

“Jenna, James, I’m the only one who knows this, but . . .” she started.

“Knows what?” said James.

I’m breaking a confidence here, but you need to know. Your daddy David was the donor. He told the hospital that he would donate only if it, the donation, could be anonymous. I knew because I was the one who asked him to donate for your daddy Ronald,” said Aunt Delia.

“Jenna, your daddy David isn’t a good man; he’s a great man and a great soul,” she said.

The stunned silence in the room was utter, total, almost paralyzing. Finally James spoke, but it was a very quiet voice that emanated from him.

“That man is almost unreal, Aunt Delia. Un-freakin’ real!” he said.

“Indeed, James, indeed,” she said. Jenna remained silent almost catatonic; her brows knitted and unknitted several times.

“Jenna?” said Aunt Delia. Her voice seemed to awaken the younger woman.

“We need to find him, James. We really, really need to find him, no matter what,” said Jenna. He nodded.

“Duh, yuh think!” he said.

The morning progressed with talk among the three of them all centered on the man who didn’t want to be found but had to be.

Aunt Delia made her excuses and left; a cab came to fetch her and she was gone, and the couple was left alone and to their devices.

“Well, this tale gets better and better,” said Jenna. “I am so glad that Aunt Delia came by and told us everything. Living with it, everything, might be a challenge. But what the hey, that’s life, right?” she burst into tears and they would not stop. Her husband took her in his arms and just held her.

It was sundown before the two of them could manage to get it together.

“Jenna, your dad would not have sacrificed his kidney if he didn’t care about his brother and your mom too if it comes to that,” said James.

“I could only wish that was a true thing,” she said. “And, I guess maybe it is. But that’s not the issue. I don’t think that it ever was. Yes, he cares. The sticking point is that he thinks that they don’t, or not very much, and he cannot deal with what he essentially sees as their contempt and general disrespect.”

“I get what you’re saying. The problem then for us is to find a way to get him to know that he is wrong about that,” said James.

“Easier said than done,” she said.

“Yeah, yeah it is,” he said.

“He is not interested in gratitude. If he knew that we knew, or more that your mom and dad Ron knew, about it, about his donation of the kidney, he’d expect that we would be grateful, but he doesn’t want gratitude. He wants and needs respect for who he is without his doing things for them or anyone. All he sees is that they dumped on him and tried to give him lip service and meaningless platitudes and money instead of what he thinks he’s entitled to,” said Jenna. “All of that stuff in the beginning about asking him to reverse his role of father for that of an uncle was the ultimate insult and bottom line for him.”

“I think you’re right,” he said. “Honestly, I can’t believe your mom and dad Ron even thought up such a ridiculous thing. I mean people go through divorces all of the time. Lots of kids end up having what amounts to two dads. The smart ones deal with it and everything works out for the best—usually.”

“I’ve talked to mom many times about that very thing. She really never had a good answer for how it all went down. Her motive, and dad Ron’s, was just that he wanted to kind of jump start his father-daughter relationship with me. Waiting for such to just develop over time was not an option, not in the beginning. It was later, but daddy was gone by then or in prison because of me, and oh I just don’t know!” she said.

”We’ll figure it out,” he said. “We will.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX 2015

It was hot in Douglas. It always was in early August. People just got used to it, well, they all said they did; it was a matter of civic pride.

The wine was poured and the shrimp salad was on the table. “I think we need to do it,” I said.

“Do what?” said Rozelle.

“Get married,” I said. I reached over the table and placed the little black box in front of her. She looked at it, frowned, smiled, and screamed.

“Okay! Yes!” she said. I came around to her side of the table and put the ring on her finger.

“This is gonna be the beginning of something beautiful,” I said. “I need you Roz, and I want you real bad.”

“I want and need you too, cowboy,” she said.

“Let’s eat and then go out. Okay?” I said.

“You got it,” she said.

She gave me a quizzical look.

“Honey, we gonna invite any of your long lost family?” she said. I hadn’t thought about that. But now I did.

“Before, I would have said no. But now? I’m not sure,” I said. “What do you think?”

“It would be your place to decide. But, that said, it might be time. I mean would there ever be a more likely time to maybe show them what you really are, and I’m not talking about all of the times you’ve saved this or that person among them. No, I mean just how well you can do without them as well as with them. Kind of let them know what a major survivor you are.”

“Survivor?” I said.

“Trust me, cowboy, you are that,” she said. “Remember I was there when things were the worst for you.”

“You were weren’t you,” I said. “Anyway, let me think about it, okay?”

“For sure,” she said.

And, I did think about it, and in the end opted for us to do it just among ourselves and a few friends where we worked.

******

The wedding was at the local Baptist church in Douglas. We decided to take a short, four day honeymoon in Tucson at the Hacienda Hotel. Four days and nights of sun and poolside relaxing were the order of things. The nights, though, were actually athletic events, trust me on that one.

We lay together saying little, mostly just breathing hard after having done the deed.

“Wonder what they’ll be saying after they find out?” she said.

“Don’t know. Probably give us lip service about how glad they are that I’m, we’re, doing so well and making a life here in this little burg,” I said.

“Hmm, lip service? You don’t think that they’ll be genuinely happy for you? They don’t know me of course. I’m just gonna be an ornament in that little tableau,” she said.

“I don’t know. I just keep remembering the bones they threw me that cost them nothing and me everything,” I said. “After he took her from me, as I’ve told you, they wanted me to assume the title of uncle, well-loved uncle was the way the woman phrased it. Unlimited visitation time with my daughter was another of their bones—yippee-ay-oh. And the final straw: allowing me to share the walking of my daughter down the aisle when she married her young man. And the killer in that? It was clear to me that my daughter was okay with their plan. That one still rankles.”

“Hmm, yes I understand, but you might have been better served to stay and battle it out if that’s the right term,” she said. “Hey maybe they had other reasons for acting the way they acted.”

“Can’t imagine what any such might have been,” I said.

******

The work days were long, but that was because business was good: hard to knock a situation like that. Roz had gotten me the job. They didn’t even look askance at my record. Twelve bucks an hour sure beat minimum. Anyway, my pay plus my wife’s allowed us to live high off the hog, well, kinda.

I was a warehouseman again; well, I was experienced. The Company was essentially an intermediary shipping company. We handled goods, mostly soft goods, coming in from Mexico for distribution to various chain operations in the states. And, like I say, business was good and we were constantly struggling just to keep up with schedule demands. Well, but the overtime was useful.

“So how was your day?” said Rozelle, coming up behind me as I sat on the bar stool at Pedro’s.

“Oh, hi honey. Good, busy, but you know that. You folks in the office are running too, I know,” I said.

“Yes, it’s been a horrendous month. Security isn’t as problematical as the stuff you’re doing or the office assistants, but we are keeping busy,” she said.

Rozelle was head of security for the company. Hers was mostly office work, but she did have to make the tour of the warehouses each day and make sure all of the guards and checkers were on task and doing what they were supposed to be doing.

“Hmm,” I said. “So no problems for you then?”

“No, had to fire a couple of guys who were stealing merchandise. Not too bright the two of them. Their checkers’ sheets didn’t match up with inventories. Nailed ‘em before they even got out the door. Like I said, no sweat,” she said.

We were happy the two of us. The pressure was off. The drinks at Pedro’s cool and well appreciated kinda made our day when we took the time to imbibe.

“Hey, amigo,” said Jose, the barkeep of record for the moment. “Someone was in here looking for you, asking around about you today.”

“Who was it?” I said.

“Didn’t leave a name. White guy,” said Jose. “Maybe fifty.” I nodded. I had a hinky feeling, but I doubted it was any of them. Probably just somebody I knew from the job. If they knew I hung out at Pedro’s they’d be back.

“You don’t think . . .” said Rozelle, who was sitting right beside me.

“No, but who knows,” I said. I refused to worry about it anymore. The old days, the old ways, the old crowd were all dead to me.

******

Juan Castillo had been doing the same thing for a thousand years, and he was only forty-six years old, helluva thing. He’d just hung up the phone and passed along the information that his benefactor in Arizona requested.

******

He gazed over in the direction of his wife who’d been napping. The man, his man in Douglas had come through for them. The only problem for James was whether or not he’d really wanted Juan to succeed. The short answer was no. The man he’d sicced Juan on did not want to be found. And while he wanted to do for his wife as she had requested, he wasn’t sure it was the smart thing to do. Nevertheless, he’d gotten the information he’d asked for and now he had to tell her. And, she would undoubtedly tell her mother, who would undoubtedly tell her bio-dad, and then—well then who knew.

She stirred in the pillows. Her eyes fluttered opened. “Hi honey,” she said.

“Hi, babe, said James. “He’s living and working in Douglas. Juan called just a bit ago to tell me. And, he’s married.”

“What!” she said.

“Yes, the woman’s name is Rozelle. She’s bit younger than he is, maybe in her early forties. If Juan’s info is right, and I’m sure that it is, she got him the job, I mean his new wife did,” said James.

“Oh my God!” said Jenna. “This is good news. I mean it is isn’t it, James?”

“Not sure, maybe,” he said. “Jenna, he’s not contacted any of us. The man clearly does not want to be found. We could go to him, try again to make things right by the guy, but . . .” he said.

“James, I have to connect with him I have to get him to come back to us. Mom and daddy Ron say so too. Yes, I know he’s still hurt and all, but now that he has a new wife . . .” she said.

“You’re thinking that now that he has a new wife that things might not be so hard for him per you mom and him, right?” he said.

“Yes, exactly. Daddy Ron, and Aunt Delia too, have always said that daddy was never able to get over the divorce. He loved momma so. It was what drove him to act the way he has since their breakup,” she said. “But now . . .”

He nodded slowly. “Okay then, I guess the game’s afoot,” he said. “So, how do we want to do this?”

“I’ll call mom this morning and we’ll figure things out from there. I’m like you obviously are, nervous,” she said.

“Yeah, well you’ve got that one right,” he said. “But right now I think we need to clean up and get some breakfast. I’m starving and you must be too.”

“Yes, and yes I am,” she said.

******

He watched as she dialed her cell. The die was cast as the saying went. This was likely their last attempt, and on one level that was a good thing. But, if the attempt proved to be counterproductive, well, that would be a whole different kettle of fish.

“Mom, we gotta talk,” said Jenna into the phone. “It’s important.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN 2015

“How was work today, honey,” she said.

“Good, I didn’t do much, just kind of oversaw operations if you know what I mean. I’m still a little weak,” he said.

“Well, that sounds good. The doctor did say you had to take things easy for a good while yet,” said Stacey.

“Yes, and I’m going to be the best patient he ever had when it comes to following instructions,” said Ronald. He laughed but it was kind of a weak laugh.

“Heard from Jenna earlier today, she wants to meet and talk to us about something. Wouldn’t tell me over the phone what it was about, but it sounded important,” said Stacey.

“Hmm, okay, when?” he said.

“They’re coming over tomorrow evening,” she said.

“Okay,” he said.

******

“I wonder what they’re all doing tonight,” I said.

“Likely, the same as us, kicking back,” said Rozelle.

“Hmm, yes, maybe,” I said. I looked over at her. She was an inspiration, that’s the only description that made any sense. “Roz, I can’t tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me,” I said. She smiled indulgently at me.

“David, the feelings are more than mutual. I needed a real man, and you’re it. We’re going to be fine, honey, I mean really fine. We’re already doing okay, but in time; well, we’re going to be doing even better. Heck, we’re going to be making the lot of them jealous!” she said, and she laughed.

“Hmm, maybe, but we’ll never really know I guess. I think we’ve seen the last of them. Kind of sad actually. It’s best that I broke it off with them. But, sometimes, well, sometimes,” I said.

“I know, honey. I think they’re likely thinking the same way as you. I mean, I think that they miss you too. And yes, don’t deny it. I know you miss them even after all that’s happened,” said Rozelle.

“I guess that’s true, at least on some level. But one has to be respected, at least that, if one is going to have any kind of a relationship with whomsoever.

“I absolutely demand to be respected,” I said. “And I wasn’t by them. Oh, I think they liked me well enough, maybe even loved me, as a well-loved uncle, to paraphrase my ex-wife. But, for me that isn’t enough. I cannot abide them holding me in contempt or disrespecting me even if it was unconsciously so. And they did hold me in contempt. That was proven by the fact that they tried to bribe me with money.

“‘How does fifty thousand annual sound?’ ‘We’d like to offer you a job to get you out of that halfway house,’ Those were some of what the two of them said to me. And then having to share my daughter with him! He actually thinks of himself as her father and me as a mere uncle, a relative! Stacey admitted as much to me the last time we talked about anything that meant anything,” I said. “Go along with any of that! Not happening.”

“I know, hon, I know,” she said. “I will say one thing however. I do think that you have to let it all go. They’re wherever they are and we’re here. If we never see them again, okay. If we do, also okay,” she said. “And, we will be respected because we will be respectable, no question. I won’t stand for anything less any more than you will.”

“I do so love you,” I said. “My God I do!”

“One day, they’re going to have to deal with the truth about what you did for him that on top of what you did for your daughter. And, when that day comes; well, it’s going to be a hallelujah day for sure,” she said.

I had to laugh. She’d pretty much nailed it as far as I was concerned. But, I could not allow that they would ever find out about what I did for him.

Yeah, they knew about what I did for Jenna; that bothered me; Too many people knowing too many things was not a good thing. And, what of her husband, James? Did he know yet? I had to figure that was likely.

I was going nuts worried about the truth ever getting out. I didn’t go to prison for almost seven years just to have it all blow up in my face. No way! That was one issue I, all of us now, had to go to my, our, graves with the knowledge of.

Aunt Delia, she was tops as far as I was concerned. I knew she would never betray me. And, she was the only one who knew the whole truth, and I mean everything.

“Could they find out about the donation some other way? Only if Aunt Delia told them. Roz knew, She knew it all, and like Aunt Delia, I was confident that my secret was safe with her too.

And what of Jenna? What was she thinking and her James? Man how I wished that I could be around them. I wonder if they planned to have any children. I wonder what they would name the baby if they had one, or babies if it was more than one. I would die if . . . No, I daren’t think that way or those kinds of thoughts. No, no, no!

Aunt Delia had said Stacey was overjoyed that her new man was saved. I guess I was glad for that. I did it for her as much as for him, donated the kidney. Yes, I was happy for her. Maybe I was mellowing out for real. If I was it was because I had a new and better woman than Stacey! Yes, Hard Ass Fillmore was a way better woman than the one who had shit on me. So—why couldn’t I get the one out of my mind. It wasn’t fair. No one should have had the right to own a heart and soul like Stacey owned mine! No one!

The bad feelings came, again. They always came. That my Rozelle was so patient with me proved her love and that was my salvation. I just hoped I’d never disappoint her; I swore and oath that I would never consciously do; I swore it!

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT 2015

“Mom, dad,” she said. “There’s something I have to tell you, and I’m double crossing Aunt Delia to do so.”

They’d eaten and the second round of drinks had been poured. There’d been an elephant in the room since the two younger marrieds had arrived. But, Jenna had put off the conversation that was now beginning until after dinner. That was now.

“So, Jenna?” said Stacey. They were all still seated at the dinette table.

“Mom, dad, everyone at this table knows what Daddy did for me, daddy David,” she said.

“Yes, that’s so,” said Stacey. Jenna nodded. James was looking down or away; he was clearly nervous, or, something.

“Okay?” said Ronald.

“Well, Aunt Delia came to us yesterday as I told you. She had some rather startling news,” said Jenna. “Mom, dad, this is bad of me; I mean double crossing Aunt Delia.”

“Is this news about my brother?” said Ronald. “Hmm, of course it is that’s obvious. So what is it Jen. What has my little brother done now,” he said.

“Dad, daddy David was the one who donated the kidney for your operation,” she said.

At that moment all color drained from the face of Ronald Carter. “Huh?” he said.

The silence in the room, as the saying went, was deafening.

“Jenna . . .” broke in James, wanting to say something but changing his mind in mid-thought.

“Jenna,” said Stacey. “I mean huh?”

“It was actually Aunt Delia who told him about your illness, Dad, in an email. She essentially asked him if he would be okay with you know . . . Anyway, she kind of left it up to him.

“Daddy, daddy David, said okay, but it had to be anonymous. No one was to ever know. He didn’t want you to die, daddy, he didn’t,” said Jenna.

“Dad, said James—and yes, James had taken to referring to Ronald Carter as dad—Jenna and I talked. We talked long and hard on this. We think that David Carter is and has been mellowing out. And well, we, Jenna and I, see this as an opportunity. I mean him opting to help you at a really bad time has to mean something is still there of the old sentiments. I mean dontcha think?” said James.

“Honey?” said Stacey. “You know, I think the kids might be right. If David is ever going to be in a place where he might be receptive . . .”

“To rejoining the family?” said Ronald, breaking in on her.

“Yes,” she said.

“That man. That crazy-ass brother of mine. He makes me so mad! I will never, never be able to pay him back for all he’s done for me, for all of us.

“I’m a salesman. But, I’ll be damned if I can figure a way to sell that man on how much I love him, how much all of us love him, and get him to a place where he would be willing to rejoin us and take his place as king. Because that’s what he is to me, king,” said Ronald. But damn it he needs a woman.

“Stacey the one fly in the ointment is getting him to be accepting of us as a couple, you and me. He’s just not . . .” started Ronald.

“Dad, if I may,” said James.

“Huh? Okay?” said Ronald.

“I had a PI friend of mine check him out. Dad, mom, dad David is married,” he said.

“What? Who! What are you saying?” broke in Stacey.

“Her name’s Rozelle. Don’t know a lot about her, but she was able to get him a better paying job than he had at that bar,” said James. “He’s started over. I think he might be trying to move on. I mean that’s what it looks like without actually talking to him or his new wife.”

“Well whaddya know,” said Ronald, but he said it quietly.

“Yes, for real,” said Stacey. She wanted to ask more questions, but for some reason or no reason she held off.

“Well, that settles it for sure. We’re going to go there and talk to the sonofabitch and get him come home,” said Ronald.

“Ronald!” screamed Stacey.

“Okay, okay, he’s not a sonofabitch, I am, but he has been way over the top in a lot of this,” he said.

“Dad, I think that Jenna and I should be the ones to go down there first. If it looks promising we’ll call, and you guys can hot foot it down there later,” said James.

“James, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it to you, but you are one smart fella,” said his father-in-law.

James snickered. “Well, you might wanna check with my wife on that one,” he said. Everyone laughed, nervously, but they did laugh.