It's now been nearly a year since Hannah and I got married, and my goodness, what a year it's been! As soon as we reached the Bahamas on our honeymoon, Hannah and I (as Carla, naturally) had an absolute wonderful time. The days were full of warm sunshine, and the nights were full of... well, I think you can guess!
When we got back, my plan to live full-time as Carla started well. After a couple of months, my request to work from home was granted, and two weeks after that I was living 24/7 as the woman I wanted to be. It felt so right as time went on, and I almost entirely forgot that I was once a man called Carl.
Hannah suggested I think about hormones to enhance my femininity, so we looked on the net to see what the benefits and possible side effects would be. Having read some encouraging stories (and also some horror ones too), we went to the doctor to see if I could be prescribed them. I went as Carla so that she could see that I was already living as a woman, which might help convince her, and Hannah was with me the whole time, giving me her full support.
My doctor was very understanding, and after some discussion, she referred me to a gender specialist. I was still undecided whether I wanted to make a full transition, and I made that clear to the specialist. After a couple of sessions with her and some long discussions, she prescribed me a course of hormones that would help change my appearance without having a big impact on my libido. So, after only a few months of treatment, I was developing a small but noticeable bust and my hips were beginning to spread.
The really hard part was telling our family and friends about my change from male to female. The first person I told was my big sister, Alison, via video call. Hannah started the conversation, preparing her for what was bound to be a huge shock. Then I went in front of the camera, my heart pounding like never before. I was prepared for sniggers, for laughter, for ridicule, and even for all-out revulsion. What I wasn't prepared for was Alison's response.
"Oh my God, you look AMAZING!" was all she could say as she stared at her new sister.
Her positive comments were too much, and I cried tears of joy that she'd accepted me so easily. We chatted for over an hour as I told her what had happened (leaving out some of the more lurid details, of course!) and how I'd arrived at where I was.
However, our parents were a little different. My mum was quite shocked, and it took her quite some time to accept me as her daughter rather than a son. There were lots of scenes and tears, but I think that she has now finally come to terms with the fact that Carl has all but gone. On the other hand, Hannah's parents were much more liberal about it and were quite supportive.
Our friends' reactions were mixed. Some were really good about it, and they all became much closer, while those who couldn't or wouldn't deal with it faded from view. I expected as much, but I have to admit that it did hurt to lose some really good friends that I'd known for years.
However, it wasn't only me that was changing. Three months into our married life, Hannah dropped the biggest bombshell she ever could. She arrived home late from work one night, and sat me down on the sofa. She was serious and almost unreadable, which was quite unlike her. Her manner worried me, and I thought something terrible had, or was about to happen.
"Carla, I've got something to tell you."
Those words chilled my heart, and I'll never forget the fear churning in my stomach.
"First of all, I want to apologise."
Oh God, no, what is it? I wondered. Another man? A life-threatening disease? What?!
"I've been keeping something from you for a while now."
Tears formed in my eyes. So this was it. Three months and it was over. She'd found someone else, a real man. Oh God, I felt so wretched.
"After we came back from our honeymoon, I realised that you were totally committed to changing gender. And I'm so happy for you, and you know that I will love you just as much as a woman as I ever did when you were a man. So, I thought that, before it went too far and things changed beyond reversing, it would be best if we made use of what we had."
Her words were confusing me. What was she talking about?
"The day we got back home, I stopped taking the pill. I know, I should have told you, but I was scared of what you'd say, and that the chance of having kids might have changed your mind about becoming female. And I didn't want that. I want you to be you, whoever you really want to be, and I know that that's Carla. And, if I'm totally honest, that's who I want you to be as well."
Hannah took a deep breath, avoiding my gaze. I could see she was nervous, and was having difficulty saying what she really wanted to say. Finally, she took another deep breath and looked deep into my eyes.
"Carla, I'm pregnant."
Her eyes searched my face for a reaction, but I honestly was too astounded to react. I just sat there, open-mouthed as her words sank in.
A baby. We were going to have a baby.
The ramifications and possibilities hurricaned through my brain, overloading it, so I just sat there, unable to speak.
"Well, say something!" said Hannah.
I sat there not knowing what to say. I was elated, thrilled, scared, happy, relieved and confused all at the same time. In the end, I just burst into tears as I rushed forward and hugged her as tight as I could. I told her I was so happy, and then suddenly, my mind was full of questions. When did she find out? When was it due? What about work? All these poured out of me as I sat and wiped my eyes, my mascara leaving tracks down my cheeks.
Our baby was due in March, and between us we decided that, as I was at home for most of the time, Hannah would go back to being the breadwinner and I would play mother. When we saw my gender specialist, I asked about being able to breast feed, and she said it was possible with the right combination of hormones and breast stimulation. The idea of feeding our baby made me very excited, and I asked to be put on a course straight away. The results were fantastic! I went up two cup sizes in a couple of months, and Hannah used any and every excuse to manipulate my nipples, which made me very horny at times.
I'm now a 38B, and I love the feel of finally having my own, real breasts. They make me feel so feminine, and I love the way they bounce as I walk. I often play with them when I'm in the shower, and the slightest touch never fails to arouse me. Hannah often sucks them for what seems like hours before she hangs on to them as she fucks me from behind. Bras fit much better now too, and even my friends have commented on how much happier I seem since they grew. And the feeling I get when Hannah and I rub our breasts together is amazing, especially when we're both hot and sweaty from a long session in bed. When she lays on top of me and rubs my tits with hers, I feel like I'm in heaven.
Meanwhile, our love life just seems to get better and better. Hannah and I frequently make love to each other, usually at night, but sometimes in the mornings before she went to work as well. Before the baby was born, every week or so we would also see our respective lovers, and occasionally when I was at Tom's house,
Graham would be there too. I love Hannah more than anything in the world, but I have to admit that there's nothing like a real cock inside me! And one at each end is even better! Once we'd all been tested again, we dispensed with the condoms, and I'll never forget the first time I felt Tom fill my pussy with his seed. Now I often drive home with his cum seeping out of my cunt, soaking my knickers. There's nothing more slutty than the feel of your man's juices trickling down your thighs!
Eventually, Graham moved in with Tom and they are living very happily together. In the bedroom, Tom really treats me like a slut, and I love it, but outside he is a perfect gentleman. In fact, he would think nothing of teasing my tender nipples for hours on end before making me bounce on his wonderful cock, calling me a bitch and a whore all the time. Or spanking my bum as I lay over the end of his sofa and then plunging his cock deep into my pussy until he fills me with sperm. An hour later, he will treat me like a lady as we go for a meal or a drink at the local pub.
On the other hand, Graham is a lot less like Tom and a little more like me. He told me once that Tom has got him to dress for him, and now he often does round the house. However, when I visit, Graham's more than happy to fill my mouth with his cock and let me swallow his manjuice. Sometimes he even gets to fuck me, although I don't think he enjoys it as much as I do. In fact, both men keep me very satisfied, and they both love playing with my new breasts.
Hannah has continued to dominate her boss, making her do such things that would make you blush. She really knows how to push Claire's boundaries, and her willingness to please Hannah is impressive. Hannah has often said that, if she hadn't met me, she would probably have ended up living with another woman. But because I still have a working cock between my legs, she says now she has the best of both worlds. And as I also have Tom (and Graham!), I know exactly what she means.
As the birth of our baby got closer, I started (finally!) to lactate. Hannah loved using the breast pump on me, and so, secretly, did I. I so looked forward to be able to feed our baby as its mother, and I longed for the day when I would have him suckling at my teat. The sensations I got when Hannah made me lactate was incredible, and she said she loved drinking my milk. We used to practice in the couple of weeks before the birth to get me ready for the baby, with me cradling Hannah in my arms and offering her my nipple, which she would then greedily suck on for ages.
Finally, little Daniel arrived on a cold, snowy day early in March. Hannah was quite fortunate that the labour wasn't too long, and at four in the afternoon, he popped into the world, a pink, wrinkly beautiful baby boy. To save any problems with any questions about there being two women at the birth and no father present, we decided to have it at home, and it was just as well, because the midwife looked a little shocked as Hannah told her to pass the baby to me to be breastfed.
The emotions that went through me when he latched on to my nipple and started suckling was incredible. I never felt more feminine or more complete than at that moment. I looked up and saw Hannah watching me feed our baby boy, and she looked wonderful. She smiled as she told me that I looked so contented and peaceful as I held our infant to my breast, and that I was a natural mother. She said that I positively glowed. And inside, I felt that I did glow, and that glow still burns inside me every time I feed our baby.
We soon settled into a routine as parents. Basically, I looked after the baby while Hannah recovered, and then after a few weeks she went back to work. She said that she didn't regret our decision for me to take the motherly role, but I think I can detect a little envy in her eyes now and then when I'm feeding him. Our lives changed quite considerably after Daniel was born, especially for me. Being a new mother is very tiring! But definitely worth it, and I wouldn't change a thing.
And so this is my story. This is how I became the woman that I am, the woman, I suppose, that was always there, deep inside of me. I look forward to living my life as who I want to be, happy in the knowledge that the people I love and care about accept me for who and what I am. But most of all, I look forward to living with the most wonderful woman in the whole world, the woman who opened the door and gave me a beautiful son.
Hannah, this is for you. Author's note: When I started writing this story, I had no idea it would take so long or stretch as far as it has. I intended it to be a story of discovery, and I was always determined to make it as romantic (and erotic) as I could. After all, I feel that sex without love is merely animalistic, and I have strived to portrait the characters as real people with emotions above all else. Hopefully, I've learned a lot from writing it, at least with regards to plot line and character development. Now I need to work on my editing skills, balance, and make sure that I don't keep letting myself fall into so many traps! (You writers out there will know exactly what I mean!). On a personal note, I also feel that I've discovered a lot about myself, especially about how I see myself and the way forward. If nothing else, writing this has been extremely therapeutic, and I'm glad how it has opened my eyes and my senses to what is real and what is possible. Finally, a huge thank you to all the readers who voted and commented on the episodes. You have all been so very kind, and your comments have always been very welcome. Thanks for the encouragement to finish the story, and for taking the time and patience to read them.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="https://www.lushstories.com/stories/crossdressing/carl-carla-and-hannah-epilogue.aspx">Carl, Carla and Hannah - Epilogue</a>