I was bought up in a time when taboos about something alternative like transgender people or cross dressing was still considered to be a no go area. Society made one feel that you were an out cast or mentally ill. Luckily times have changed and it has become much more acceptable, even though we still have a long way to go.

I first started dressing when I was about eighteen. My sister had this old green dress that she had thrown away. I remember liking that dress and secretly retrieved it from the bin. I hid it and the next time I went to have a bath decided to take it with me. I ran the bath, put this dress on and got in. The feel of this lovely wet dress against my body was a real turn on, even though I felt like I was doing something wrong.

I did wear that dress in the bath several times but then stopped and tried to forget what I had done. A couple of years later the desire came back, and I tried again. This time it was secretly with my then girl friends stockings and suspenders. Wow, this was great and I was hopelessly hooked. I had to be careful not to get caught so it didn’t happen very often.

Then a couple of years later, I found myself alone in the house as my girlfriend had gone away for a few days. It was late at night and I realised that I could dress up and have fun without being caught. The feeling of freedom was enlightening, and I was so sexually excited at the prospect. I had a large wardrobe in my bed room with a full length mirror on one side. I put on the suspenders, stockings, a teddy and a pair of panties. The feel of the stockings and silky panties against my skin made me so turned on and unbelievably horny.

I walked in front of the mirror with my eyes closed and stood for a moment. Seeing myself dressed in girly underwear was going to be moving into the domain of the unknown. What would I think of myself? Every time before I had looked down but never looked at myself full on.

I opened my eyes and looked. I did look amazing but was racked with guilt and the thought that if anyone knew what I was doing I would be shunned, an outcast. I loved the look and got so turned on I had to kneel down and play with myself, watching all the time. It worked, and it was truly wonderful.

Over the next twenty years I did it increasingly until one day I found myself alone and divorced. The idea came to me that since I still loved dressing and wanted to do it more that maybe I should try going a bit further. I went on the net and found some places where I could get underwear and makeup and stuff without the embarrassment of having to go into a shop and explain that I was getting something for my girlfriend. It made it easier, and I could indulge myself.

Eventually I had the whole lot. I had lingerie, high heeled shoes, make up, perfume, wigs, jewelry and a selection of dresses. I got better at putting on makeup and always had plenty of mirrors around so I could see myself fully dressed. I enjoyed it so much and felt just so right when I was dressed. I didn’t want to stop, not only because it made me feel so good, it also made my self-stimulation so much more enjoyable. Seeing myself in mirrors fully dressed and pleasuring myself was something that I had to do and just felt right, what ever anyone else thinks of it.

The internet has made so much more possible now, and people who have an alternative lifestyle can be more free. The added bonus is that you can register on sites like this one and talk to like minded people who don’t look at you as if something is wrong with you and just accept you as you are. It has helped me so much and has made the whole cross dressing thing something that I no longer feel guilty about.