THE OPPORTUNITY PART ONE
I suppose looking back, that my childhood was to blame, that is if there was any real blame to be attached. It could have just been my inherited genes so I can happily blame my mother and father for being the smallest in the class, but I somehow also got left out when the popularity genes were issued, I became a loner and spent far too much time in my own company for any real good to come of it. I loved the movies, the actresses were goddesses with their beautiful make-up and cultured coiffure, the long golden limbs and neatly manicured nails and toes I watched opened mouthed in admiration accompanied by my own obligatory little stiffy. Anyway I’d made it finally to my own living space, my own bijou, one bedroom apartment. There was no need to hide anymore, no sneaky visits to my sisters’ underwear drawer and make-up bag, no more squalid stolen minutes with part of me on the alert for the sound of keys in the latch and unexpected footsteps. I thought I had been very brave it was the one job I wasn’t happy with doing myself, I had attended a nail parlour in a town far enough away, that I didn’t care whether or not they believed story about my part that required long nails in the charity Christmas panto, in fact the young girl had probably guessed when I chose the more subtle coral pink varnish rather than the garish bright red tarts gloss that would have been more akin to my non-existent role in the non-existent panto I was home, my nails done, a pair of strappy high heels purchased, using the same excuse, from a local branch of Dolcis, size seven the largest size they sold but perfect for me and no need to use any of the specialist London transformation shops, yes I read all the adverts over and over again. Me and my little stiffy. I loved shoe shopping, I loved the variety. The pure sex of the stiletto heels, the knee-high shiny black leather boots, the party sandals. Please don’t misunderstand I wasn’t gay I just wished I could have breasts and wear make-up and I wanted some sex other than by masturbation. I was in heaven, I’d grown my hair long, dark brown chestnut hair to my shoulders, clean & shiny, centre parted.