You might think a campsite is an unlikely place to find sexual shenanigans going on, largely because of the lack of privacy. How can you have a full-tilt episode when all that is separating you from the world is a sheet of nylon? Or an aluminium wall, in the case of caravans.

This was in the south-west of England, on a camping ground by the sea. I was just taking a short break on the cheap, so I had packed my tent and a few clothes into the car and headed down there to commune with nature for a week. I would sit outside with a coffee in the mornings and a glass of wine in the evenings and watch the world go by.

The section of the world’s population that went by here was largely middle-aged, plus a few families with young children. One of the middle-aged couples was Geoff and Mary. They were from Basingstoke and had come down in their camper van as they did every year. They spent the evenings drinking beer and playing cards, and every morning they would pass me on their way to the beach.

One afternoon as I was lying on the sand, they appeared above me and stopped to chat. Geoff wasn’t the most enthralling of speakers but he did have a lot to say for himself, while Mary just stood there and made the odd interjection.

They had been swimming. Mary was wearing an unflattering dark blue one-piece swimsuit out of which bulged her slightly overweight limbs. She had small visible veins in her legs and several moles, plus a purple birthmark under one arm. Her hair was short and dark, coarse and going grey. But she had a nice smile and lonely eyes. I could tell there was something missing from her life.

From my position on the sand, I was looking up her legs and could see an untidy fringe of pubic hairs emerging from the blue v-shape. Her skin looked cold and she was ready for a shower. When Geoff finally stopped talking, they headed off to the toilet block to do that, but not before inviting me over for a drink later. I went to the site shop and bought a couple of bottles of wine, one red and one white. At eight o’clock precisely, I headed for their van and found them sitting outside at a small plastic table. Mary was now in short, tight khaki shorts and a yellow t-shirt and Geoff was Mr Relaxed in powder-blue slacks and a stripy polo shirt.

I had to admit, Mary looked a whole lot better than she normally did. She had done something with her hair, pulling it back but leaving a few bits dangling, and she smelled of perfume. We sat and drank wine for half an hour before it turned chilly and we moved inside, sitting on cushioned benches around the kitchen table.

Soon Geoff stood up and stretched.

“Well,” he said, “I’m going for my evening constitutional. I do it every night, stroll up and down the beach. Get a bit of exercise and it calms me, ready for bed.”

I knew he did it, because I had seen him and always wondered what he was doing. He was usually about half an hour.

After Geoff closed the door behind him, I looked at Mary and she was smiling shyly. I poured us another glass of wine each and managed to get her talking about her family; they had no children because Geoff hadn’t wanted any. She had two sisters. She told me about their garden and the fruit trees she tended so they had free apples every autumn. Then she reached into her handbag and took out some photographs. She slid closer to me to show me, and her bare arm touched mine. Then closer and her bare thigh touched mine. Neither of us flinched and I suspected that this was all deliberate. I put my hand on the back of her neck and said, “You’re very pretty.” Corny as hell, I know, but she brightened up immediately.

“No,” she said. “I’m just an ordinary, dull woman.”

“Well I think you’re gorgeous,” I said sweetly.

“Do you fancy me?” he asked softly, putting a hand on my leg. I leaned and kissed her neck by way of reply and she turned her head to face me. I kissed her lightly on the lips.

“That was nice,” she said and squeezed my knee.

I pulled her to me and kissed her properly, then pulled back.

“What about Geoff?” I asked tentatively.

“He’ll wait outside until we’re ready,” she said. “He’ll be another twenty minutes anyway, maybe longer tonight to give us time.”

“You mean…”

“He knows, yes. He doesn’t mind. He’s not interested anymore but he wants me to be happy. So you can relax and…” Her hand grazed my swelling cock as she moved it to my waist. Then she stood up and pulled a bed down from the wall. It was already made. She sat on it.

“Well?” she said expectantly, slipping her sandals off. As I stood up she pulled her t-shirt over her head and revealed her lily-white torso and a deep navel. She was not wearing a bra. She was brazen about this but I got the feeling that was because she had never done it before and was forcing herself to follow a script.

I pulled my own t-shirt off and we fell back onto the bed, kissing feverishly and feeling each other’s back and chest. Her breasts were warm and soft and her nipples were small and hard. She reached for the zip of her shorts and was out of them in a flash. A pair of flowery, old-lady pants concealed her pubic region, and I pulled them down with Mary’s discreet co-operation. She was indeed hairy down there. Brown, straggly hair that wasn’t accustomed to being looked at, let alone admired.

I slipped my own shorts and pants off and she watched me, pretending she wasn’t. She lay on her back with her legs apart, like she thought she should in this day and age, which wasn’t so different from any other day and age in her opinion.

I lay beside her, took her hand and placed it on my cock. She didn’t move it, but her thighs parted a little as she prepared to have her vagina felt. I kissed her eagerly and he kissed back with out-of-practice enthusiasm. Knowing she was waiting, I quickly put my index finger in her navel and then my hand between her legs. My middle finger found its way through a tangle of hair and into her cunt. This woman didn’t have anything as showbiz or frivolous as a pussy; she had a cunt. I poked her gently and my thumb found her clitoris and rubbed it. She closed her eyes and smiled, then sat up suddenly.

“Can I suck you?” she asked intensely.

“Please do,” I said.

“Kneel on the edge,” she instructed. She got on the floor, took my cock in both hands and admired it before popping it into her mouth and slurping it like a lolly. She felt me all over. Her fingers trailed up and down my back and into my arse, then down over my balls, which she squeezed gently before taking the hand up to her face and smelling it.

“Do you want to lick me or…” she said hesitantly. I almost threw her onto her back and put my face between her legs. She obviously hadn’t been pleasured for a long time, so I wanted to give her the time of her life.

I sucked her clitoris and shoved my tongue into her shy, lonely hole and she bucked her hips. I flipped her over and gave her what I was sure would be her first rimming. Her initial tenseness abated as I licked her crack tenderly.

“Oh God,” she said quietly. “Do you like that? I’ve never…”

“Do I like licking your bottom?” I teased and gave her a stronger, flatter, more sensuous stroke of the tongue to answer her question.

“I’m going to cum,” she whispered urgently. “Get inside me.”

I turned her onto her back, lay heavily on top of her and pushed my cock into her. She fucked me back for a minute or so and then screamed into my chest as she came. Her middle finger plunged into my arse.

“Don’t cum inside me,” she said timidly. “On my tummy.”

When I started to cum I lifted myself and pumped my semen onto her stomach and it rolled into that big, convenient navel.

We lay there for a few minutes, stroking each other, before she said we’d better get up. We wiped ourselves quickly with a towel and Mary opened the door. Geoff was sitting there, gazing at the stars.

“All right, love?” he said and they touched hands briefly.

“Fine,” she said. “Nice walk?”