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Elysian Fields of Jawja

Tags: humor
If it hadnt't been for Uncle Bebop, I wouldn't have what I have today... nothing
When one talks about The Elysian Fields
And Cold Heart Whiskey
I think about a little place in Dixie
Salt pork and a place I call home
In Nowthwest Jawja...

With one speed bump
And seven mole hills
Blossom, Lumpklin, Mrytle, Neely
And Old Shorter 
Jackson, and Mount Aventine 
The town where Uncle Bebop played... 
Diddled in Rome 
And burned down his crapper
Setting fire to Bonkers Condoms
And Helmets... 
A used rubber factory
Where Zelda my girlfriend works 
Shaking the yogurt out of cock smocks
Before starching and ironing

When one talks about The Elysian Fields
And Cold Heart Whiskey
Where I'm employed
At the Lazy Heart Distillery
As a full time barrel cork sucker
Bung plug plucker
And substitute toilet flapper
On the assembly line...
I think about Hans Grenade
A transvestite
When he blew off my jaw
As I was plunking bungs
I tried so hard in my Quonset hut on wheels
A fortnight ago as I was lipped locked
Getting attached to a piece of ass
When I tried to French kiss Hans again
As my tongue touched his sorghums 
Where he had root canal...
Heaven better have a whole lot of corks

When one talks about The Elysian Fields
And Cold Heart Whiskey
Mom told me not to remain illegitimate
Get head in life and get an education
Go to Ivy Tech Vocational School
That's where I had met Zelda...
I got head

The professor got head
The Dean got head 
And the glee club got head
But I did learn the three R's
Readin' comic books
Reachin' for buttermilk biscuits
Rummagin' through junk
A jaw prosthesis
Cold Heart Whiskey
And salt pork

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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