Still Too Short
Between nostalgia and indigestion
And suggestion of circumcision,
They cut it off three times,
And my pecker is still too short.
Now I need an extension
And a whoopee-doo stick,
Antacid for my belly,
Blue pills for my limp dick.
Last night on the crapper,
Mosquito soaring half past six,
I use the bug zapper
To jump start my little prick.
Watching my favorite TV show,
Her curlers caused interference,
My fucking dentures fell into my chow,
In nearsightedness, she hump the beer.
Through it all and her menstrual cramps,
She has remained my loving companion,
Without so much as a headache or twitch,
Except at bingo she got vaginal itch.
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