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Secret Lives: Chapter 8

"The aftermath."

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Sarah walked out to the kitchen and I followed. There were a lot of hushed whispers from the lounge room and rustling of clothing. I walked up behind Sarah as she prepared the coffee.

“Are you okay?”

She shrugged her shoulders then they began to shake. I wanted to hold her and tell her not to cry but then she turned around and I realised she was laughing. I was shocked at first but then she said.

“Did you see the panic? The looks on their faces were hilarious.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah I’m alright, I’ve been expecting this, besides watching that amazing blow job left me dripping wet. Seriously, I’m sopping right now.”

I was both shocked and really aroused at this. I didn’t think I could want Sarah any more than I did but when she said that my arousal just ratcheted up another notch. I wanted her so bad I could have bent her over the bench and taken her right then. In fact I was reaching out to do just that when she turned around with the hot coffee in her hands. Let’s face it the thought of screaming hot coffee scalding your gonads is enough to tame even the horniest of guys.

I followed her in to the dining room where we were met by a very red faced Neil, a still grinning Max and the sheepish looking couple who were on the couch. The others were apparently rampant cowards and had scampered.

We all sat in an awkward silence for a moment. On some level I guess everyone expected Sarah to lose her shit but that wasn’t to be. She calmly, if silently, poured everyone’s drinks and when all was done she took a deep breath.

“First I would like to say thank you to those of you who had the guts to stay and support Neil. It actually means a lot to me that you are here for him.”

Everyone looked bewildered at this unexpected approach, but none more so than Neil.

“You know, this is something I have suspected for a long time Neil and I think that in my heart I knew. That doesn’t mean I’m not upset and there are some things we are going to discuss about that later on but I want you to know that ultimately what I want is for you to be happy. I know this has to be hard for you but I’m not going to make it harder for you by going off about it. We need to work some things out but I think we can work out a happy medium that works for us both.”

Neil’s jaw nearly broke the table as his mouth dropped open. Almost everyone seemed shocked at her calm approach but I knew she had gone over this many times in her head before and in some ways it was a relief for Sarah to finally have it out in the open. Neil, still looking dumbstruck, stopped looking at the table and looked Sarah in the eye.

“If you suspected, why didn’t you say something?”

“What if I was wrong? What if you weren’t and I accused you of it? How well do you think that conversation would have gone? I knew that you would sort out your feelings sooner or later and talk to me then. I just didn’t think you would do it this way.”

Neil blushed and looked back at the table.

“I’m sorry. I know this was a shitty thing to do and I didn’t really plan on this being the way I told you, things just got out of hand and I guess I wanted to be caught on some level.”

“I just wish you had trusted me enough to tell me. The part that bothers me the most is that you didn’t think I could handle it. I guess the question now is where do we go from here?”

Neil looked up at Max.

“Do you have room for me to stay for a while?”

Max was nodding but didn’t get a chance to say anything before Sarah spoke.

“Whoa! What’s this shit? This is your house as much as it is mine.

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Nobody is going anywhere unless you really can’t stand to be around me. We just need to change the sleeping arrangements. There’s more than enough room for the both of us and I love this place. I can’t afford it on my own and neither can you. Like I said earlier; I think we can come to some agreement about a few things. This is one of them.”

“I just didn’t think you would want me around anymore.”

“Oh stop being such a drama queen.”

That drew an awkward look from pretty much everyone in the room.

“What? Too soon?”

I don’t know who started laughing first but it wasn’t long before everyone had the giggles. It was just the ice breaker the room needed.

“Look, Neil, You and I are good friends regardless of any of this. So we don’t make each other feel awkward trying to be lovers any more. That’s no reason to ruin a good friendship or make each other suffer financially. I’m mature enough to deal with you having a few guys around provided you are ok with extending me the same courtesy.”

I couldn’t help but suddenly feel jealous at the thought of Sarah having other guys around. How far things have gone in one day I thought. I was delighted to have Sarah expose herself to others, in fact it turned me on immensely, but the thought of her being with another man intimately or worse, in a relationship, filled me with cold dread. What the hell was I thinking? Just this morning Sarah was with Neil and I hadn’t even considered the thought of a relationship with her.

I was trying to wrap my head around this when Neil looked at me. I could see the fear in his eye and I couldn’t imagine all the things going through his mind but the fear was definitely boiling close to the surface.

“So what do you think?”

“Neil. I can’t say I’m not surprised by this. For some reason, I had no idea before today that you were even remotely this way inclined. Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. I just want you to be happy. You’re my brother and I love you. I’m certainly not going to think any less of you because of it. If anything I’m pissed off with myself for not noticing. I’ve been too wrapped up in my own life to notice and that makes me feel like a shit brother. I feel bad that you felt you couldn’t tell me.”

Neil and I stood up at the same time and met at the end of the table. I gave my brother a big hug and told him I loved him. It seemed to make a big difference as we both relaxed.

He looked at me and asked.

“Are you going to tell Mum and Dad?”

I laughed.

“Mate, no offence but that is all yours. I’ll be there to support you if you want me there but I’m so not doing it for you.”

That was never going to be an easy conversation. Both of our parents were very much into sports and our Dad was very fond of yelling at the TV when his favourite sports were on and I know both Neil and I were thinking of the way he referred to someone who wasn’t performing to his expected standard as “gay” or “Nancy”.

Mum wasn’t as bad but there had always been an underlying homophobia in our household growing up. Nothing overt and I think it was more just that generation but it was never going to be easy on them.

Sarah finished her coffee and pushed her chair out.

“I think we all have a lot to think about tonight. I’m going upstairs to move some of my things into the spare room. Neil, the room is yours. I have no idea what you guys have got planned for the night but you are welcome to stay the night. If you need it, the lounge folds out into a bed.”

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Written by yakboy69
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