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The Randy Adventures of Long John Thomas the Pirate King

How many pirates does it take to screw the Princess of England? Find out here.
Once up a time there lived a pirate by the name of Long John Thomas. A bloodthirsty fiend who terrorised the kingdom of Albion, he sailed the seven seas on his trusty galleon the Randy Badger. Any man who dared to take to the sea would find themselves on the end of his sword and any woman who dared to take to the sea would find herself on the end of his cock. This is the story of how Long John Thomas humped the oldest daughter of the King of England.

Princess Beatrice was not a fan of traveling by sea but today it was completely unavoidable. Her ship had left Portsmouth several hours ago and she had no idea where she currently was, but was a nice day and the sea was calm so she knew couldn’t complain. Not that these things were the biggest concern at sea. No, what they really needed to worry about were pirates! It was common to hear of noblemen and women falling foul of these demons of the sea and there was one pirate who was worse than any other. Beatrice often heard stories at her father’s court of the scourge of the seven seas, the Pirate King: Long John Thomas. He had killed a thousand men and rodgered a million women, or so the legend goes. Women gladly gave themselves to the Pirate King when they discovered what he kept in his britches, a thought which made Beatrice tingle in unexpected places. She longed to meet the Pirate King and sample the wonders of his nether regions, but alas it was never to be. Girls like her never got to meet pirates and have rampant sex and even if she did what were the chances of the Pirate King attacking the king’s own ship and killing his elite guards?

Suddenly a large explosion rocked the ship. Beatrice quickly ran to the nearest porthole and looked out, gasping as she saw another ship approaching at high speed. Then she saw the flag. It was the unmistakable flag of the pirates. The ship was under attack from actual pirates! Beatrice’s pussy began to tingle and she knew she had to get on deck and see these brutes for herself. It was apparent that the king’s elite guard were no match for these bloodthirsty pirates and the deck was soon flowing with the blood of the fallen, with no one left to stand against the aggressors. Beatrice looked across at the pirate galleon and saw the crew of scurvy curs with muskets in hand, lined up and aiming at her.

“Prepare to be boarded!” roared their captain, “by which I mean prepare for sex!”

The women on the ship were taken below deck. Beatrice had brought a whole fleet of fair maidens with her on this voyage and now she felt slightly guilty, though part of her thought that they were perhaps looking forward to what they were about experience. There must have been at least thirty pirates in the boarding party and they all looked hornier than a teenage boy that had found his dad’s secret porn stash. The pirates leered at her and admired her impressive cleavage as she wondered just what these brutish men were going to do to her. She didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“Good day to you ladies,” said the most senior looking of the crew (the captain had yet to join them.) “As you will no doubt have realised, you are currently at the mercy of the crew of the Randy Badger and its most fearsome Captain, Long John Thomas. It is our intention to use you ladies for our sexual gratification for the next few hours. We have no desire to harm any of you and if you’d rather not be rogered by thirty burly men you’re free to opt out. Although I wouldn’t recommend it. We’re very skilled lovers and it’s not often you get to take on thirty guys at once.”

A butch looking woman with more hair on her chin than her head raised her hand.

“I object to this incredibly sexist behaviour I’ll have no part of this orgy of filth thank you very much!”

“Oh thank god,” replied the pirate, “you’re free to go, why not go and enjoy a cup of tea with Seaman Staines the gay pirate- he’s not much of a fan of these things either.”

The maiden quickly departed and went to find a milky brew.

“Now prepare these fine ladies for a good plundering!” roared the pirate.

The pirates surrounded the princess and her maids and began to rip away their clothing. Some very fine and expensive dresses were completely ruined and could never hope to be worn again. Beatrice couldn’t help admiring the bodies of her fellow prisoners. She’d often imagined what Jasmine and Cordelia looked like naked and now she knew. She often thought she might be a little bit lesbian, but had never really had chance to explore this. Perhaps she’d get lucky and the pirates would force her to get kinky with them. She thought she might rather like that. She felt her own dress being ripped to shreds by the randy sea dogs and her large breasts bounce free of their confinements. There were hoots of pleasure and delight at the gaggle of naked beauties, and once they were all naked the pirates forced the busty wenches to their knees. The pirates lined up before them and all at once dropped their britches, releasing thirty erect wangs for the young maidens to pleasure.

Beatrice didn’t have much time to worry about how the other girls were reacting to a ship full of rock hard man meat as the lead pirate had clearly taken a shine to her and quickly shoved his stiff member into her open mouth. Beatrice was a virgin and never even seen a penis before. Her father had always frowned on her spending any time with boys, which had left her naive and inexperienced; she was shy and innocent and had no real knowledge of sex. She would have to learn fast though as it was down to her and her fellow prisoners to please this horny bunch. The penis felt strange in her mouth. It was fairly large, larger than the Bratwurst she’d had for dinner the previous Tuesday; it didn’t taste as nice as the Bratwurst though. There was a strange salty taste and she wasn’t sure how good this chap’s personal hygiene was, but it didn’t seem right to bring that up now. She wasn’t really sure what to do but she didn’t have time to worry about that either. Her natural reflex was to suck on the long piece of man meat between her teeth and her head bobbed up and down and she took as much of that cock has her tiny mouth would allow her. She gagged a few times but she soon learned her own limitations and with practice she was able to take the whole cock into her mouth. Her face was pressing into his pubic hair and it tickled. It all felt natural to her, as if she was born to suck cock and she was rather enjoying it. She loved the way she could make the burly pirate moan and groan in pure ecstasy just by sucking on a part of his body.

Beatrice had been sucking on his dong for several minutes when she noticed a change in his behaviour. He was bucking wildly in her mouth and he was breathing much faster. “Just what is happening to him?” wondered the sweet and innocent princess. She would soon find out as the penis in her mouth spluttered into life and unleashed a strange liquid into her unexpecting mouth. She hadn’t been expecting it at all and began choking on the creamy muck that was yet still filling her mouth. She began to drool the white goo all over herself but eventually she adapted to the new situation and was able to swallow the last spurts of the randy pirate’s jizz. She rather liked the taste and began to lap up the remnants she’d lost control of earlier scooping it all up with her fingers and licked up every single drop.

“Hey mister,” she said as she lustily looked up at the man who had taken her oral virginity, “got anymore of that stuff?”

“Well boys it looks like we’ve got a right little slut here!”

The lead pirate was replaced by three more eager men desperate to sample the delights of this busty wench. She quickly began sucking the first cock presented to her, with her hands finding their way to the other two. Her hands appeared to have minds of their own as they began quickly sliding up and down the two cocks. Faster and faster they got and she knew she was doing it right from the moaning she could hear. As she continued sliding her tongue up and down the shaft of the well endowed pirate in her mouth she felt hands caressing her all over.

Someone had grabbed hold of her huge tits and was squeezing them forcefully making her nipples erect and adding to the growing moistness in her lady garden. She felt yet more hands caressing her thighs and buttocks, felt fingers teasing her tingling pussy and yet more hands squeezing her pert bottom. It felt like every man on the ship was touching her. Beatrice’s body was on fire and she was wetter than the very ocean she was sailing on. All through this she kept wanking the cocks in her hands and sucking the one in her mouth. She was in heaven. This continued for several minutes and she felt her first orgasm approaching. She screamed in delight as she came hard. She really must thank whichever pirate had been fingering her. He’d done a bang up job and deserved commending for it. As she climaxed, Beatrice became aware that she was no longer enjoying the feeling of pirate cock she’d had just a few seconds ago. She was disappointed to see that the three pirates had withdrawn their members from her and couldn’t understand why- she’d been doing such a good job hadn’t she?

“’Ere darling look at us,” said one of the three with a leer.

She looked straight up at the three men and suddenly felt several splats of wet stickiness hit her in the face. At first she was confused as to what had happened but then she saw all three cocks erupt again and realised that the men were aiming their climaxing cocks at her and covering her in their delicious man milk. She really had done a good job!

The pirates cheered and applauded as they looked the virginal princess on her knees before them plastered in spunk. They had yet to realise it was the king’s daughter they were currently using for their sexual gratification but they all knew she was something special. She clearly enjoyed the taste and feel of their love goo as she had practically orgasmed again whilst they had doused her with their man hoses. The lead pirate turned to look at Jasmine and Cordelia, who themselves had proven quite skilled in the cock sucking department.

“Why don’t you help your friend clean up?” he suggested.

The two women knew better than to disobey their current master and quickly aided the princess in her attempts to clean up the masses of seamen's semen. The three women rived around in sexual ecstasy; Beatrice was finally fulfilling her secret desire to make love to another woman and the other two were more than happy to enjoy the delights of the fair princess. The three shared the most passionate three way lesbian kiss the gathered pirates had ever seen. Jasmine forced her tongue into Beatrice’s mouth and they performed the dance of lust with each other. Beatrice had never felt a tongue in her mouth before but she rather liked it and thought when she got back to the castle she’d make Jasmine her full time personal assistant. Cordelia, feeling slightly left out, opted to suck on Beatrice’s perfect tits and eagerly engulfed the princess’s erect nipple between her lips, sucking for all she was worth. Beatrice moaned loudly and Jasmine stopped kissing to allow her new lover to breathe freely, taking the other breast and sucking the princess’ nipple just as hard as Jasmine. Jasmine and Cordelia began to caress the horny princess all over and it wasn’t long before their hands met at her dripping pussy. Both took it in turns to finger fuck her tight, virgin snatch helping Beatrice achieve orgasm after orgasm.

The two maidens were eager to please their mistress and both were experienced in the art of lesbian love; they knew the ultimate way to please her would be to treat her pussy to the finest tongue lashing they could provide. The two busty maidens took it in turn to lap at clit. Every time their tongues came into contact with Beatrice she moaned and they knew they were doing a good job. Beatrice was almost delirious with orgasmic delight now. She had never felt so good in her whole life and began to think that maybe she would never need to feel a cock in her most private of areas- the tongues of her lady chums would be more than enough for her.

Jasmine was licking faster now and Cordelia slid her fingers into the ever dampening love hole of the princess and began to slide them in and out as fast as she could. Beatrice was going to cum again and this was going to be the most intense orgasm of the lot. The swirling tongue and probing fingers were getting faster and faster. Faster. Faster still. Then there was an explosion from within her lady parts that felt better than anything the young princess had ever experienced. She came and she came hard, flooding the mouth of her faithful servants with the tides of her gratitude and lust.

As the three women collapsed into a heap there was a clear sound of running footsteps coming from deck above. They were coming closer. The door to the cargo bay flew open and in came the notorious Pirate King: Long John Thomas.

“Aye lads ye will never guess who this ship belongs to,” he roared.

“Who?” asked the gathered pirates.

“Tis the king’s ship,” he replied, “and his daughter, the beautiful virgin, Princess Beatrice is aboard.”

All eyes turned towards Beatrice who lay collapsed on the floor after several orgasms. They all realised it must be her.

“Did any of ye pop her cherry?” asked Long John Thomas.

“No Captain we fucked her mouth only and the wenches tasted her nethers but no wang has yet to sail into those uncharted waters,” replied the pirate who had taken Beatrice’s oral virginity earlier.

“Excellent!” replied Long John Thomas “Then I, the most fearsome pirate of them all, shall be the first to plunder this busty beauty, by which I mean I shall be the first to shag her.”

Long John Thomas dropped his pants and a revealed his huge, erect cock to the princess.

“All aboard your majesty!” he ordered.

To be continued...

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