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Introducing Pattie

Pattie just wants to enjoy a drink at the bar, but a hot stranger changes all of her plans...

My name is Pattie.  I'm 37 years old, 4 feet 7 inches tall.  I weigh 88 pounds, and have an A-cup bra size.  In other words, I am what some people might call tiny.  I have blue-green eyes, a small straight nose, a small somewhat pouty mouth, and my brunette hair hangs to just below my shoulder blades.  I also am a sapiosexual:  I adore intelligent men.  To me, a guy who is intelligent is not just appealing or interesting.  A guy who is intelligent (and unattached!) could get himself pounced on and ravaged, almost on the spot.  If a guy is single and he convinces me that he has even half a brain, I'm not his: he's MINE!  In short, being smart is sexy (very, very sexy).  Being smart will get a guy fucked, and I mean a whole lot, if he's not careful!  That's what sapiosexual means.

It was late Wednesday night.  I was sitting on a bar stool in the 'Squeaky Saddle' honky-tonk, located in a quiet little town north of Houston.  It's not unusual for a single woman like me to come in and enjoy some good country-western music and a quiet drink before heading home after a long, strenuous day at work.  I was dressed in black two-inch pumps, blue jeans, a pale blue slightly sheer silk blouse, and my hair was tied in a ponytail.

The guy sitting on the bar stool next to me on my right somehow looked out of place.  I couldn't quite put my finger on it exactly.  He just looked, I don't know, "odd".  He had smooth brown skin the color of light milk chocolate.  His hair was closely cropped and it was almost entirely gray.  Yet his features were slim and athletic, with zero body fat and little or no facial wrinkles.  Maybe that was it.  When examined carefully, the details of how he looked did not match his overall appearance.  He was dressed impeccably in an expensive tailored business suit.  He also wore a long-sleeved white silk business shirt, open at the collar.  He was even wearing cuff links (in southern Texas?).  He had on what looked like expensive, top of the line black leather wing-tipped shoes.  Everything he was wearing seemed brand new and fit him perfectly and precisely.  No rings, or ring marks on his fingers... good sign!  He wasn't doing anything in particular, just sitting there quietly sipping his drink.

From over my left shoulder, came a loud bellowed drawl, "Well hello thar, li'l filly!  Ain't chew thuh purty whuuun tuh-naht!" (this is Texas, after all).

It was Frank Downs, the self-proclaimed ladies man in town.  I simply called him the village idiot.  I turned to my left and gave him a bland look and said, "Hi, Frank.  Now before you get started, I just want to be left alone to finish enjoying my drink in peace, then go home."  Turning to face him squarely, I glared at him angrily as I fixed him with blazing eyes, then said heatedly, "Alone, Frank!  Got it?"

Typical Frank, he took this as a challenge.  A conquest, so to speak.  He was one of these guys who believes that coming from a woman, the word "NO" always was up for negotiation.

He just grinned and continued, "Aw, now Pattie.  Don't go gittin' yer dander up!  Ah jes' wonna say hello's all!  Whut d'ya say?  Lemme buy yuh 'nother drink."

Remember the thing I said about 'smart'?  Now you see exactly why I called him the village idiot!

"Frank, what the fuck part of the word 'no' do you not understand?  Now get the hell out of my face and leave me be!" I snarled loudly as I reached for my drink glass.

I was just about to throw my drink into his face and storm out of the place when I heard a soft, accented, somewhat melodious voice coming from behind me.

"I think the lady has made her wishes quite clear, cowboy."

It was the stranger.  He didn't move a muscle.  He was staring straight into his drink glass, but his voice was very clear.  It had an ominous tone to it, tinged with danger.  I could almost feel the very air start to crackle with electricity at his words.

Frank gazed over my left shoulder towards the stranger then growled, "Stay outta this, ol' man!  This ain't nunna yer biz-nez!"

That was when everything, including the room, the loud din, even time itself seemed to stand still.  For a second, everything was deathly quiet and I couldn't hear a thing.

With smooth gracefulness the stranger turned to his left to face Frank.  Turning slightly and glancing back over my left shoulder at the stranger, I could swear that I saw his hazel eyes glow bright for an instant before he said, "Perhaps you should move on, cowboy."

Not liking the direction this seemed to be going, I tried to intervene, "Look guys, this has gone far enough."  Turning completely to face the gallant stranger, this time with my back to Frank, I said, "Thank you sir, but I'm leaving."

As I started to reach for my purse and raise myself from the bar stool, Frank put his huge right paw onto my right shoulder holding me in place.  He then declared possessively, "Yew ain't a-goin' nowhere's li'l, filly!"  Then he rounded on the stranger.

In the blink of an eye the stranger simply placed his forefinger lightly against the center of Frank's chest.  Without a word, Frank suddenly dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes, totally unconsious.

I was dumbfounded.  I found myself staring in wide-eyed amazement at the stranger.  Then I noticed it: his eyes really were glowing, as well as the tip of his finger.  I stared in stunned amazement as he returned to normal.  So did everything else in the room.  I could hear the music, the talking, and laughter clearly again.  What was even more astounding was that nobody around us seemed to notice what happened, not even the loud "thunk" when Frank hit the floor!  The stranger paid his tab, and quietly left the bar as if nothing at all had happened.

I thought, "What in the flying fiddely-fuck did Horace put in my goddam drink?"

Horace was the bartender.

I got down from the bar stool and stooped to see if Frank was alright.  He started groaning, and tried to raise himself up onto one elbow.  He finally managed to crawl up a nearby bar stool like he was trying to climb Mount Everest itself, but eventually he made it and sat wobbling on the stool trying to steady himself with one hand on the bar.  He was rubbing his forehead with his other hand.

Horace the bartender came over and asked, "You ok, Frank?  What the hell got into you all of a sudden?"

"Nuthin', Horace.  Ah'm fine," mumbled Frank.

Satisfied that Frank wasn't injured, I paid my tab and left the 'Squeaky Saddle'.  The air outside was crisp and clear.  I inhaled deeply, and looked up at the stars, bright in the night sky.  It was just a little past midnight.  "Shit, I need to get home and get to bed," I muttered to myself.

"No need tuh cuss, baby guhrl," came a familiar voice from behind me.

I thought, "This can't be happening... not again.  Ah fuck, not again!"  I turned around.  It was Otis, the town sheriff.  "Hi, daddy," I said in a weary voice.

"Cum ohn, baby guhrl.  It's a-gittin' late an' muh shift's 'bout over anyhow's.  Hop intuh th' squad car and ah'll give ye a ride home."

"You know how I hate it when you hover over me like this, daddy.  I may still be little, but I'm not your 'baby girl' any more."

"Yeah, ah know's it hunny, but a daddy still can check up on his baby guhrl, now 'n agin' now cain't he?  'Sides, ah jes saw a strange lookin' coon git intuh a big black Mercedes 'n drive away.  Prob'ly stole it, fer all I know.  Yew know how their kind are.  Cain't be too careful with them folks," he nodded wisely before adding, "Ain't never seen him before.  Yew dun ever seen him 'round here before?"

"No, daddy.  Look, just take me home.  I'm bone tired, and got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow."

"Yew mean 'tuh-day', don't cha' hunny?" he said smiling.

After Otis (that's what I call him sometimes, especially when I'm pissed-off at him)... anyway, after he dropped me off at my place, I brushed my teeth, took a quick shower, then fell face-first onto the bed, asleep almost before I hit the mattress.

The next day at the office, I just couldn't get my mind off the stranger.  His smooth features, athletic build, and the way he moved.  I kept remembering that mellow voice of his with it's distinct ring of intelligence (oh, shit, the trigger word!)...  and those eyes!  Thinking about him was driving me nuts.  "How'd he do all that stuff?" I wondered.  "It must have been just a trick of the light, nothing more," I thought while idly twirling a lock of my hair.  I smiled to myself as I wondered what else he might be hiding underneath those fine clothes of his.  Hmmm, I never did get a good look at his zipper line, now did I?

I kept telling myself that it was all just a trick, but somehow that didn't seem right, and what about his fingertip?  My wet-soaked panties told me I had to find out for sure.

I said to myself, "Ok, Pattie girl.  You're headed back to the 'Squeaky Saddle' again tonight."

I arrived there around a quarter to eight hoping against hope that the stranger would be there again, but he was nowhere to be found.  I had tried to spot his mysterious black Mercedes out in the parking lot.  Nothing.  I scanned around in the bar, nothing.  I sighed, took a seat at the bar, and ordered my usual planter's punch.  I was half way through it, when the stranger, out of nowhere, suddenly sat down on the stool right next to me... again.  He didn't say a word, or even acknowledge me.  He just sat down, then ordered something from Horace that I couldn't quite hear because he spoke so softly.  A short while later, Horace brought the stranger his drink, and the stranger began taking tiny sips, still ignoring me completely.  After about five or six minutes of me idly sipping my drink and staring straight at the left side of his face, he turned abruptly towards me.

"Is it not considered rude to stare at someone whom you do not know?  I believe that is your custom here, is it not?" he smiled and spoke in that soft, melodious, accented 'intelligent' voice of his, yet I heard every single word clearly and distinctly over the noise in the bar.

Caught completely off guard, I stammered, "I-I'm terribly sorry.  I didn't mean to be rude, or even stare.  I suppose I just wanted to thank you for intervening for me last night.  I'm Pattie."  I extended my right hand.

"Tolban," he replied as he took my hand gently into his.  His hand felt incredibly soft, delicate, and somewhat warm.  It felt, ...well ...cozy.  As he moved to retract his hand, I tightened my grip and held onto it as I locked eyes with him.

"I am pleased to meet you, Tolban.  I really want to thank you for the way you handled Frank last night, but you must know that I have a thousand questions about what happened," I said before releasing his hand.

"What kind of questions, Pattie?"

Ooohhh!  That damned melodious voice of his!  I can feel my pussy starting to purr all over again.  I was trying desparately to maintain my composure.

Taking another sip of my planter's punch to steady myself, I said, "Well, for starters, I'm not really sure what 'exactly' happened in the first place, so let's start with this one.  I can't quite place your accent.  Where are you from?"

"The answer might surprise, or even shock you," he replied before taking another sip of his own drink.

"Try me."

"I am from a planet called Moron, it's in the Alpha-Centauri galaxy."

"Moron?"  I burst out laughing!  "You're shittin' me, right?  You say you're an alien from a planet called 'Moron'?"  I started laughing uncontrollably at the very thought of a place having such a stupid name.  When I finally could get things down to a giggle, I asked, "So, you're from a planet full of Morons?" I couldn't help it.  This was just too delicious!  The laughter started all over again.  I was really beginning to enjoy this.

"Listen, uh Tolban, right?  Look, that was a great joke.  I really needed that after a day like today, but seriously now.  Where are you from, really?"

"I already told you."

I looked at him.  He was looking straight back at me, no smile on his face.  He seemed serious.  I started wondering what kind of eye-candy nut case this guy might be, but the wetness in my pussy shifted me into total automatic mode.  I wanted this guy something awful and I already marked him as my prey for tonight, so I wasn't quite ready to give up just yet.

"Okay, Tolban.  You say you're from another planet.  Right!  Let's say for the moment it's true.  Can you prove it?"

"In what way?"

"I don't know.  I'm not the visitor from outer space," I said, wiggling my fingers above my head.  "Do something 'spacey'.  You know, like in the movies.  Be creative."

"You mean like this?" He asked, and his eyes glowed ever so slightly.  This time, it was unmistakable.

Suddenly, the room went deathly quiet, and the people were moving very, very slowly.  Every now and then I could hear a loud 'BONG' like an incredibly large church bell, only each bell toll sounded different.

"Now do you believe me?" He asked.

"What the hell did you just do?" I asked, looking around, amazed beyond belief.

Just as suddenly, everything went back to normal:  the room, the music, the people, the laughter, ...everything.

"It's nothing special, really.  It was just a quantum shift.  I simply moved us between the time intervals that you normally perceive.  For a brief period, we simply were outside your normal reality.  That is why everything else inside your normal reality seemed to be in slow motion.  Your great scientist Einstein used to talk about it often."

I thought to myself, "Now this just isn't fucking fair!"

I already had the hots for the guy.  He was smart.  He was built like an Adonis.  Now on top of all that, he went and did this!  I wanted to jump his bones right there on the bar!

"OH-MY-GOD," was all I could say.  I was stunned beyond comprehension and totally, completely, helplessly horny!

"It's really not that complicated.  Perhaps the mathematics might be a bit daunting, but the theory of how it works really is quite simple."

"OH-MY-GOD," I said again in wide-eyed amazement, my pussy throbbing in anticipation.

I crossed my legs tightly and leaned forward slightly, trying to get things under control (ladies, you know exactly what I'm talking about), then said, "It's true then.  You really are from out there," I said pointing at the ceiling.  "Tell me about it.  Your planet, I mean.  What's it like?" I stammered, trying to get my mind off my raging lust for this man.

"Well, there basically are two major groups of people on my planet.  The first group is called the 'Enlightened Ones', or simply Morons for short.  The second group, the 'Unenlightened Ones' are called Idiots."

I tried.  I swear, with every fiber of my being, I tried my absolute best not to burst out laughing, but I failed miserably.  My abdomen was sore from laughing so much already, but I let out a rip-roaring belly laugh that had people around us staring in bemusement.

"Okay (sniff).  I'm sorry (giggle, sniff).  You live on a planet populated by Morons and Idiots (giggle)!  You have got to be shittin' me.  This is just too much!"

"As I said, only the 'Enlightened Ones' are called Morons for short.  Technically, since we all occupy the same planet, the 'Unenlightened Ones' are sometimes called the Idiotic Morons."

"Idiotic Morons?" and I let go again with another round of painful, gut-splitting, bar-slapping laughter.  I was doubled over, almost falling off the bar stool.  Other people were starting to snicker along with me, wondering what the great jokes were that this guy was telling me.  Tears were running down my cheeks.  I couldn't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

"Okay-Okay (sniff)!  I'm alright.  I'm okay (giggle).  Tell me (giggle) more about your planet."  Man, did my abdomen hurt!  I actually was grateful for the temporary distraction from my hungry pussy.

"Well, it really isn't much different from this planet, except we have a lot more water.  Our planetary government is not that different from yours.  We even have our equivalent of what you refer to as your White House."

"Oh, now that IS interesting," I said, still trying to hold it together.

"I suppose it might be.  However, we only allow the Idiotic Morons to become our politicians.  We've even sent a quite a few of them here to your planet."

"You mean there is an Idiotic Moron in your White House, just like here?"

"Oh yes.  We let them parade around and make all sorts of wild speeches, and Idiotic promises that have no basis in fact whatsoever.  They are Idiots, after all."

"Just like here.  That's incredible!"

"Take for instance the current Idiotic Moron in your White House.  He paraded himself around and made all sorts of wild promises that had not the slightest chance of being brought into reality.  He could always claim that he tried to keep his promises, although he knew from the very start that his promises did not have a ghost of a chance of succeeding.  Afterwards, he could always shrug his shoulders and say that he tried, but got blocked by the opposition."

"That sounds so much like him, but give me a concrete example of what you mean.  No, wait!  Hold that thought.  What do say we go over to my place where things are a bit quieter and a whole lot more comfortable than these damned bar stools?"

"Well, we certainly could do that, but how would you feel about going to my place instead?  I guarantee you, it will be out of this world, as you might say."  There was a distinct twinkle in his eyes.

Not even caring about finishing our drinks, Tolban waved Horace over and paid both drink tabs, leaving Horace a healthy tip.  We left the 'Squeaky Saddle' together.  Thankfully, neither Otis nor Frank were anywhere to be seen.  After settling ourselves into his luxurious Mercedes, we travelled along route 105 for some distance before reaching I-45 in the city of Conroe, and heading north.  Once outside the city limits, is when things really started to get interesting.

As we drove, Tolban said, "Pattie, I want you to know that you have nothing to fear.  If at any time, you do not feel comfortable, please tell me, and I will bring you home immediately, without question.  Do you still want to do this?"

"Oh, yes, Tolban.  Definitely."  There was no way this man was getting away from me tonight.  "Uh, Tolban, can I ask you a very personal question?" I asked rubbing my knees together slightly.  I was almost at my wits end.  I just couldn't hold back any more.

"Of course, what is your question?"

"Do your people have sex the same way we do?"

"Of course, we do.  We mate exactly the same way your people mate.  Our women have vaginas just like yours, and I have a penis just like any of your men.  We do have slight skeletal differences and a few extra genital muscles and breast muscles.  In fact, your people and mine stem from the same core ancestry, and..."

"I don't even want to start off in that direction just yet," I interrupted, "Maybe some other time."

He'd just told me all that I needed to know.  He has a dick, and I have a pussy.  Aside from his intelligence, that was the most important thing had I learned the entire night, and I had plans for both our body parts.  The more he talked, the wetter I became.  That hungry urge had taken me over completely.  I simply had to have him, and the sooner the better.

Now, just how do you go about seducing a smoking hot genius alien from outer space?


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