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A photographed memory

As my best friend is about to move away, one thing leads to another, and we end up in bed together.

It was that time in life. That time that you have to get ready for the adult life, one where you have to perhaps say goodbye to a few of your friends as you head on over to college for a couple of years.

This is exactly what happened to my closest friend and myself. This happened two years back, very close to when high school was finishing up. My best friend, Paul, was the best guy friend I could ever ask for. Kind, charismatic, enthusiastic and amazingly attractive, also. But I hadn’t really thought about it that much until that moment, but that’s for later.

Throughout the senior year, teachers and other school staff were pressuring us to get our college/university applications up and running before the end of the year. That way, everything would be up and running smoothly by the time we graduate. Paul and I didn’t really talk about it that much. We both knew what each other wanted to do, but not specifically where we were applying. I was applying to a local college, while Paul was applying for a college farther away.

So, around two weeks before our final exams, Paul approached me in the middle of the school hallway during lunch time. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me towards an isolated location. He was excited.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked him. “You seem agitated.”

“Yeah. Yeah,” he said. “I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. I got accepted!”

“Accepted for… you mean for college?”

“Yes! I got accepted into the photography program!”

Paul was an absolute photography maniac. He absolutely loved capturing almost anything in a photo. It was not just his hobby, it was his passion, and I was a huge fan of it. A lot of the pictures that he would take would be breathtaking and wonderful, worthy of a professional.

He was almost crying with joy when he was telling me this good news, so much so that I could feel just how happy he was in the air.

“Really? That’s awesome!” I answered. “Oh my god Paul, that’s fucking amazing. I’m so happy for you!”

We hugged tightly, but that’s when Paul backed up a bit and looked a little gloomy. It’s was a complete reversal of the emotions he was feeling, like a horrible realization had daunted on him.

“What is it? What’s wrong, Paul?” I asked.

“Well, it’s great that I got accepted and all. But, well. I don’t know how to say this…”

He paused for a bit.

“I’d have to move to Toronto. Seven hours away from here.”

I was taken aback by what he told me. Paul and I had been friends since the first grade. We were practically inseparable, almost doing anything we wanted together, hanging out, going to parties, whatever. Anything of the sort, we’d do whatever we could to spend it together. And now he was telling me…

“Toronto? But… I thought you had applied somewhere around here. Why Toronto?” I asked.

He explained to me that Toronto’s programs in photography seem far more appealing to him than whatever was offered around our area (which I will keep private for obvious reasons). He had also applied to places in the area as a backup in case he wasn’t accepted in Toronto, but he was so happy about the Toronto thing that I felt bad trying to take that away from him. He seemed completely struck with guilt about potentially leaving me behind, too.

“Look, Paul. It’s not like we won’t be able to contact each other,” I said. “And you’ll always be able to come back and visit your family and me when you get some time off. It’ll be okay.”

“You sure?” he asked. “It’s just, you’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me. Things will be fine.”

“Okay then. Thanks Laura.”

We hugged once again we decided to have lunch together. We didn’t talk about him moving away at all until after our exams were over. About a week after our exams and graduation, Paul messaged me online as we often did, but this time it was to ask for a particular request.

That’s when he asked me if he could have me model for him in a photography session. I asked him why, and he said that the college he was going to, as part of his application, was asking for a portfolio of images to send them as a way of proving his experience. He would only be accepted if he had a solid portfolio, which he had, but he didn’t have any photos of someone else posing for him. He thought it’d be nice to have a bit of variety, and not just a bunch of nature shots and such.

Being the friend that I was, I accepted, and we scheduled it accordingly based on both our work schedules: a week and a half after that specific online conversation.

So, fast forwarding a week and a half from then, I knocked on Paul’s door and he answered. We planned the session so that his parents would be at work to get more privacy, as I was personally a little nervous about it and didn’t want his parents looming around and getting the wrong idea.

Paul had already set up a few things: he has his own lighting kit, those white background things, his trusted camera and now, me! It was the first time that I was going to do anything like this, but I knew that this was for a good cause and for a good friend.

We started it out pretty casually. We decided to have a little something to eat before we started the shoot, and I asked Paul if he had asked anyone else to pose for him before me.

“Nah, not really,” Paul said. “You were the first person I thought of when I had the idea.”

“Hmm,” I replied. “Well it makes sense. I’m your closest friend.”

“And you’re pretty.” He said that and seemed like he immediately regretted it. But I didn’t mind. I found it cute.

“Thanks,” I said.

 

And now, on with the photoshoot.

At first we decided to do regular face shots. I stood in the white background area, and Paul got his camera really up close to get good shots of my face. I made a neutral expression, looking off into the distance, smiling, smirking. Any facial expression you could think of, I made it.

Then we moved on to doing full body shots, in different poses, of course. One where I’m simply standing still, one with one knee bent and a hand on my hip, looking off into the distance. Some with my hands in the air, or playing with my hair with my eyes wandering around. Typical model stuff.

But Paul wanted to spice things up a little more. He asked me if I could lift my shirt up to expose my belly, and gently rest my hands on it. It seemed like an odd request to me, but I did it anyways. I lifted my shirt up a bit and struck the pose.

We moved over to his sofa, where I sported more arousing poses: lying on my back with my hands over my hand, my hands in between my things, resting on my size in the classic “draw me like one of your French girls” poses.

I even went a bit of the extra mile, and unbuttoned my jeans without Paul asking for it. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was feeling really hot inside. Very riled up… in a sexual way. I lifted my shirt up to right before it would expose my bra, and Paul really seemed to like that. He’d say stuff like “great," and “good, good.” And he’d just be snapping picture after picture, asking me to do things like put a finger on my lips and wink.

“I’m really liking these more erotic photos,” he said. “Shame you didn’t bring a change of clothes into something warmer.”

“You mean something more revealing,” I said. “Right?”

“Well, not necessarily... I mean, a swimsuit would be nice, but…”

“Well, I mean. I could strip down to my underwear, if that helps…”

“Wait,” he said, taking his eyes off of his camera. “That’s a bit much, right? I mean, we’re friends. I don’t want you to do anything like that if you don’t want to.”

“Come on. You’ve seen me in a bikini before, right? It’s not like it’s that different.” I lied. “We can try and if I get uncomfortable, I’ll put my shirt and pants back on, okay?”

“Well, okay. If you want to…”

So, with my hands and legs practically shaking, I pulled my shirt over my head and brought my jeans down to my ankles and kicked them aside. I was in the middle of Paul’s living room, in front of Paul, completely exposed in my underwear. I could tell without looking through a mirror that I was blushing.

“You look beautiful,” Paul said in an attempt to comfort me in this embarrassing state.

“Thank you…” I said. “Let’s just do this, okay? Tell me how to pose.”

So the photo-shoot continued. Paul didn’t hesitate all that much with asking me to pose how he wanted to. The first thing he asked was for me to be sitting on the sofa with my legs spread enough to see my inner thighs, with my hands in my hair and my face looking right at the camera. I smiled for added effect, and Paul loved it. I even decided to blow a kiss at the camera at one point, once I had gotten a bit more comfortable.

We then decided to go to his parent’s bedroom, which was very well kept and clean. The bed was all well-made and neat, and once Paul brought over his lights and set everything up again, it was time to resume the shoot.

I’d be lying in the bed with my arms up, one knee bent upwards, completely exposing my features. Paul kept taking pictures, asking me to roll over on my front so that he could get a better view at my back. I’d be looking dead at the camera with an erotic glance, with one leg in the air, or sitting up with my fingers holding the straps of my panties as if I was ready to take it off.

“This is amazing, Laura,” Paul said. “Don’t feel like you have to say yes, but uhm… Would you mind… uhm…”

Paul was so nervous and could barely get the words to come out of his mouth. I knew exactly what he wanted, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying it out loud.

“You want me to get naked?”

His eyes widened as I said that, but quickly returned to normal. He parsed his lips, and nodded.

“I know this isn’t… I won’t put this in my portfolio if you really don’t want me to. But it’d be great practice for something that could become relevant in my career…”

“It’s okay Paul. You don’t have to explain it. How about we take pictures as I’m taking my undies off?”

I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth. I was literally telling Paul to take pictures of me taking my clothes off! But my thoughts were so muddied by these strong impulses that I just couldn’t stop myself from following these urges.

“That’s a great idea,” he said.

So I turned my back to the camera and started to undo my bra as I kept my eyes away from the camera, simply looking into the distance as he’d snap a photo or two of me undoing my bra. And then… snap. My bra strap was undone, and I let my bra handles go down my arms, and one of the photos we took was me holding my bra to the side of me as I looked at it, to eventually toss it away onto the carpet floor.

“Good… Now your panties,” he said. “Sit up on your knees, and pulled them down…”

“Okay…” I mumbled softly as I did what he asked.

I sat up on my knees and brought my hands to my sides, grabbing the side of my panties. He took a photo of that. And then I started to pull them downwards, exposing more and more of my butt and backside. He kept taking photos, until eventually, the panties were down to my thighs, exposing me completely.

“Want me to turn around…?” I asked him.

He nodded gently. I turned around and used my hands to cover my breasts and my vagina area.

“Perfect,” he said.

With my panties still at my thighs and me covering my privates, he snapped a few pictures of me with my head tilted in the different ways, sometimes looking at the camera, sometimes not.

Eventually it came to the point where I decided to take the panties off completely. Doing so meant that I couldn’t cover my privates anymore, and so my hands rolled off of my areas as I pulled the panties down, off my ankles, and tossed them towards where my bra was. I simply sat there, completely naked in front of Paul, who was simply taking pictures.

“Don’t stare at me too much…” I said, embarrassed.

“Not much of a choice… I have too to take the photos,” he said.

“True… Okay… what next?”

He asked me to get on all fours on the bed and look like I’m ready to pounce, almost like a tiger. So I did that, and then he asked me to simply lie on the bed, with my hands over my head. Paul came onto the bed, and kneeled over me as he wanted to take a photo from up high, looking straight down at my upper body.

It was so intimidating, having him be this close to me when I was basically in my most vulnerable state. I was completely exposed in the nude, and my heart was beating so rapidly I could almost hear it in my eyes. I was nervous, embarrassed, yet aroused at the same time. And I could tell that Paul was feeling similar things…

He got off the bed and asked for me to come back downstairs to his living room/kitchen so that we could take more photos. I would be on the sofa, doing similar poses from before. Sometimes I could go to the window and simply look outside as he snapped pictures of my nude body shining over the natural light of the outdoors. We moved to the kitchen, took some photos of me looming over the counter, leaning against the fridge. He even asked me to get into his kitchen table and lay there, with my legs and arms stretched out, leaving me completely exposed.

That marked about an hour and a half of taking pictures, and Paul asked me if I wanted to take a break, and I accepted.

We went upstairs to his room, where his desktop computer was. Paul wanted to upload these pictures to his computer so that he could see just how great the pictures looked. He was sat in his chair, and I was simply on his bed, waiting for the pictures to be processed from his camera to his computer.

At one point he turned to me and just looked at me for about five seconds before asking anything.

“Why don’t you put your clothes back on?”

At this point I was in a daze, somewhat thinking about what I had been doing the last hour or so.

“What? Sorry, I zoned out,” I said.

“If you want to put your clothes back on, you can.”

“I mean, we’re just taking a break, right? I’d just have to take them off again later. May as well stay naked, right…?”

Paul nodded. “Makes sense. Thanks again, by the way. I… I can’t imagine how humiliating this must be for you.”

“It’s… okay. I’m doing this for you. And I know I can trust you with these photos.”

He smiled and turned back to his computer. A few moments later, and the photos were finally fully processed and we could get a solid look at them. I got off from the bed and loomed over his chair to check them out. And they looked absolutely gorgeous, all of the photos. Expertly lit, great angles. All of it looked amazing.

“These are all great,” Paul said as he scrolled passed them, eventually getting to the nude ones and smiling. I smiled too.

Paul got up from his chair and hugged me. It was odd having him hug me when I was completely naked, but I hugged him back.

“Thank you so much, Laura. I can’t imagine a better friend than you…”

We pulled our heads back and just looked at each other for a few seconds. But then, everything changed in an instant.

Paul leaned over and kissed me.

My breathing was off the charts fast. It took me a moment to fully process what was happening. Paul retracted for just an instant, before I quickly moved forward to lay another kiss on his lips. And we just kept kissing and kissing, holding each other tightly: me holding his shoulders, and him holding my waist.

I couldn’t stop kissing him, and he couldn’t stop kissing me. Very quickly, our tongues met in between our mouths and I started to take steps back until eventually we fell onto the bed. I kept moving further into the bed until my back lay against his bedroom walls, but Paul just didn’t stop. He pressed himself against my nude body and kept kissing, with his hands rubbing around my waist, my hips, my thighs. Anywhere his heads lead him, he’d let them. And so did I.

All of my inhibitions were completely gone. I was ready to let Paul do whatever he wanted with me. I had just realized how much this man meant to me, how much I cared for him. How much I loved him. All of these years had culminated into this moment, and I wasn’t going to let it go until I was satisfied.

Paul retracted his lips, and we just looked at each other in the eyes. He then quickly brought his lips over to my neck and started to kiss it all around. I brought my hands over to the side of his face to guide it as it kept going lower and lower, eventually getting to my collar bone area. He went further down, kissing around my breasts, around my nipples, and then he even started to kiss and gently lick my nipples. I completely lost it.

I started to moan and whimper constantly as this ultimate sensation aroused me to no end. It was the first time that anything sexual like this was happening to me, but I didn’t want it to stop. I just let Paul suck on my breasts as much as he wanted through my moans as I held him tighter and tighter.

He held me gently, but more roughly shoved me further into his bed, making me lay on it as he loomed over me, with his hands holding my wrists down. We looked at each other again, the both of us breathing heavily, before he came back down and we started to make out again.

We kissed and kissed as his hands grazed all over my body, including my breasts and my butt. My hands were just too busy clinging to his back as if to tell him to never let go of me. But eventually he did, but only to satisfy me even more.

He sat up on his own knees this time, and very swiftly pulled his shirt right over his head, exposing his great upper body. Paul was very well built as he worked out very often, and it showed in his physique. He started to unbutton his pants, but I quickly sat up and started to do it myself. I brought his zipper down and pulled his pants lower, being met with a nice bulge in his underwear. He quickly brought his pants down to his ankles before letting them off at the side of his bed, and now he was the one in his underwear, right in front of my face.

I lay back down on the bed as he brought his head down to my vagina. He spread my legs wide and did not hesitate to start slowly licking around my vagina lips and mon pubis. I moaned so loudly that I had to use my hands to cover my mouth to contain myself. I couldn’t believe that Paul had his face in such a personal area of mine and doing something so explicit to me. My entire body was twitching, my legs were shivering. It was just amazing.

We had not spoken a word since we started kissing. We were just so in tune with what we both wanted to do that we just let our bodies do as they pleased. Eventually he brought his head back up and grabbed the sides of his underwear, like I had done not long before. And pulled it straight down, no resistance. His cock flew right out of his pants, completely erect. I simply looked at it for a moment, taking in what was going on, and what was probably going to happen.

Paul swiftly leaned over and pulled me towards him. We embraced as we started to kiss once more, eventually spiraling into opposite positions. Now he was the one lying on the bed, and I was the one lying on him as we made out passionately.

Slowly but surely, it was my turn to make my way down. I started to kiss down his neck, down to his chest, his belly…

And then I felt my chin rub against the tip of his cock. I pulled back, simply observing his penis for a bit, before I slowly brought my hands over and grabbed it. It was so hard, and so warm, yet throbbing strongly, just waiting to be played with. I rubbed up and down, and Paul moaned.

“Just like that. Yes…” he said, finally breaking the silence of words.

And then I went even further…

I brought my head over to the tip of his cock, and I kissed the tip. And then I licked the tip. And then I put the entire tip into my mouth, and started to suck on his cock like I couldn’t stop myself. And I simply couldn’t. I didn’t know what I was doing with this blowjob: I was just frantically bobbing my head up and down with his cock in my mouth, sometimes slowing down to simply wrap my tongue around as much of it as I could, before going back down to deepthroating it as much as I could handle.

Eventually I just pulled back, completely out of breath and looked at his now saliva covered penis. I was still breathing heavily and wiped my lips with my arm as I looked right at Paul.

He looked at me back, and it’s like he could read my mind.

“But I don’t have any condoms.”

“I don’t either,” I said as I put myself in position, with my vagina now only inches away from the tip of his penis, and my hands resting on his shoulder to support myself.

“But we can’t stop now. Not after all of that. We have to go all the way,” I said. “Risk it all. I know that’s what you want.”

Paul nodded. “Yes. It is. Let’s do it.”

So I brought one of my hands down to his cock and grabbed it again to keep it straight up as I lowered myself slowly. My thighs were shaking like crazy. I was about to have unprotected sex, as well as lose my virginity, but all that was going through my mind was how I wanted to do this with Paul, to have him be my first time, and how much I just wanted him to fuck me like no tomorrow.

I finally got the tip of his dick into my vagina, and I screamed out in pain as more of his penis went into me. I could feel my hymen breaking, and a few tears rolled down my cheeks as I held Paul tightly. He held me too.

I didn’t look back to see if there was any blood. I knew there was probably some, but I wasn’t going to let that hold me back. I kissed Paul once again and I nodded.

“Start thrusting.”

And so he did. He moved his hips forwards and backwards, slowly and gently bringing his penis deeper into my vagina, and then further out, and then back in. At first the pain overwhelmed the pleasure, but as he kept thrusting into me, my screams turned into moans, and my pain turned into amazing amounts of pleasure.

We kept the same position for a little bit, but eventually we switched. For a brief moment, he pulled his penis out of me and guided me into an all-fours position before he went behind me, help my butt and put his penis right back into me. We were now in a doggy style position, with my hands up against the wall, as Paul rammed his hips into my backside as his cock thrust deep into my pussy.

I moaned even louder than before. It felt so fucking good. It was perfect. I didn’t want this moment to end. I was having sex with a man that I had loved for so long, but only realized just now what strong feelings I had for him. It was incredible. Cathartic. Simply cathartic.

“I’m gonna cum.” He said as he kept thrusting into me. “I’m gonna cum, Laura!”

“Keep fucking me. Fuck me until you can’t fuck me no more!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, and Paul obliged. He increased his speed for a couple of seconds, until…

Until he finally started to slow down his thrusts as I felt something warm seep into me. Paul was ejaculating inside of me… his entire load. His hands were shaking as he held my waist tightly to keep me balanced. My legs felt like complete Jello. I couldn’t feel my body anymore.

After about a minute, Paul pulled his cock out of me and I just fell flat on the bed, completely out of breath. My first time having sex was finished. I wasn’t innocent anymore. Neither was Paul. I barely had the energy to even keep my eyes open. Eventually I mustered enough energy to turn onto my back. Paul was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. I looked over at my vagina, and there was a bit of semen seeping out of it. Looking at it just shoved the whole reality of the situation in my face; I just had unprotected sex.

Paul slowly started to put his clothes back on. He put on his underwear, then his pants, and then his shirt. He took a deep breath and then got off of the bed. He left the room, leaving me there, exhausted and alone, but not for too long. He came back a few minutes later with my clothes and underwear. He put them at the feet of his bed.

“You can put them back on when you get your energy back,” he said, barely even looking me in the eyes.

I could tell he was humiliated. I understood how he felt, because I felt the same way.

I eventually started to put my clothes back on and sat on the bed, feeling numb. I looked over at Paul’s computer screen, and saw the naked photo of me that had been there right before we started kissing at first. I brought my hands to my eyes and sighed the words oh my god.

“I’m gonna go now,” I said.

“Sorry, Laura.” Paul said. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” As I got up from his bed and started to walk out of his room. I stopped for a bit, pondering if I should give him a hug before leaving, but decided not to. For some reason, I felt like I needed to get out of the house right away, or something bad would happen. There was no logical reason to think that, but that’s what I thought.

I gathered my things and walked back home. On my way back I could feel tears wanting to come out of my eyes, but I restrained myself. I didn’t want to be crying in the middle of the streets, of course.

But when I got home, I closed the door behind me and fell to my knees. I just burst into tears. How could I let myself jeopardize my friendship with Paul like that? By having sex with him? And enjoying it as much as I did? I felt like it was all my fault, like teasing him during the photo-shoot led to us doing it.

My mom was in the living room and rushed to ask me why I was crying. I managed to tell her everything that happened and she listened intently. She did her best to comfort me, but I was in such a state that whatever advice she gave me went right over my head. The last thing she told me is that she was going to schedule an appointment with our doctor as soon as she could for a pregnancy test, and I agreed to that. I was so exhausted that I just simply went up to my room and went to bed. I didn’t clean myself, or change into my pajamas. I just went to bed and didn’t wake up until 6am the next morning.

 

Paul and I hadn’t chatted at all for three weeks. All I could think about was him and about us having sex together. I couldn’t focus when I was at work, so I took a couple of sick days. I was just so drained and depressed about the whole thing.

But eventually I took a breather, and decided to take my mom’s advice. I sent a message to Paul online, and asked him if we could set up a meeting someplace so that we could chat. It took two days for him to answer, but finally he did, and we ended up meeting at a local coffee shop the next day.

I got there first. When sitting there alone, I just couldn’t get the thought of Paul completely naked out of my head. He was so… attractive. I knew that I’d never be able to look at him the same way again, but I needed to talk to him. If not to negotiate our friendship, then for some closure of sorts.

Ten minutes after I had arrived, Paul made it. He sat down with me.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hey,” I answered. “How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good…”

We stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

“Look,” I started. “I know this is hard to talk about, but we have to address the situation at hand. We have to address what happened, why it happened, and what’s going to happen next.”

“Yup.”

“So, what happened?”

“We uhm. We had sex,” he said quietly.

“And why did it happen…?”

Paul paused, thinking about it.

“I don’t know. I lead you into this position where it got the better of me. I let my desires and impulses take full control of my body and actions… and it just happened. We fucked.”

“And if I may ask, what… what were those desires and impulses?”

Paul looked at me dead in the face with his eyes watering.

“I love you, Laura,” he said. “I’ve loved you for years now, and I just couldn’t stop myself from finally showing it. One thing led to another, and the next thing I know, we’re making love and I felt like I had to finish it for you. So I went all the way. I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to kiss me.”

“But I did kiss you. And a whole lot more…” I said, trailing off a bit. I brought my hands out to hold his. “Look, Paul. This wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t my fault. It was both our faults. The both of us let this happen and now we have to decide what becomes of it.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Laura,” he quickly said. “I want to still be friends.”

“Do you want to be something more…?” I asked.

He sighed. “Yes, I do. But I’m moving away to Toronto next month for college. What kind of person would I be to do something like I did, and then run off? And I don’t want a long distance relationship. That doesn’t work for me. I need you.”

I nodded and let a deep breath out. I agreed with him. I wanted to try dating or something with him, but if he was about to leave for Toronto, I didn’t want us to try and do something long distance. Because if that doesn’t work out, then our friendship would really be over and neither of us wanted that.

“So what do we do?” he asked.

“I don’t know for sure,” I told him. “No matter what we do, nothing’s going to be the same again between us. But that doesn’t mean we have to let it make our friendship worse. To relieve you… I’m not pregnant.” I could see the relief in his face. “And all I want is for us to still stay in touch, no matter what. Even if you’re in Toronto, and I’m here. And I think… the next time you come and visit after you’ve left for college… we see what happens.”

“Really? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Nope. I don’t know if it’s any good. But I think we both care for each other a lot, we both love each other a lot, and we don’t want to make any drastic decisions right now. We can take a bit of a break from talking to each other again after this if we need to… but I don’t want to lose you, Paul. I don’t care if we date or not, I just want you in my life.”

Paul nodded and started to tear up again, and so did I.

“Same. I don’t want to lose you either.”

With that, we simply talked about meaningless banter, attempting to put the past behind us…. For now.

 

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