I guess I could tell you guys about my first time getting any action. See, most people, when they talk about virginity loss, emphasize that it’s not as big of a deal as we make it out to be. But as for me, I do hold it in my memory as the mark of a big transformation in my life. And it happened during the best summer I’ve ever had.
Let me take you back to the summer of 2007, when I was about to enter my junior year in college—a skinny guy who played a ton of video games and had never hooked up with a girl in anyway whatsoever. Plenty of my friends had done it a few times; a few of them struggled to find girls, but none of them had a blank slate of experience like me. At first they would poke fun at me for it, and I was cool with it. But as I got further into college I became more insecure about it, and conversations on this topic got so awkward that they stopped bringing up the subject—at least not in front of me. I still wondered what was said about my sexless life when I wasn’t around.
During the beginning of this summer, my nerdiness seemed to be spiraling out of control, and my encounters with women dropped to zero. But on the other hand, I was making friends with some guys a couple of years older than me, who were a lot cooler than me, and actually had friends that were girls. I met them at a Halo tournament on campus, and they were so impressed with my skills that we started hanging out on the weekends.
When classes ended in May, we cut loose. Matt, one of the guys I met at the tournament, invited us over to his house all the time, which was the perfect place because it was the house his family had lived in when he was in high school, but they had since moved to Colorado and decided to keep the house until he finished college, and his two sisters lived in other states.
Our loosely connected group of about 12 college kids who loved to play Halo pretty much ended up turning this place into a gaming house that summer. We would start playing around 10 at night, up to eight of us in the house at once, with four to six TVs set up in the living room, bedrooms and even on the kitchen table, all networked into a huge switch that I supplied. And we would often game for 8 hour sessions then crash on the couches and in the three bedrooms upstairs by the time daylight was breaking.
Before that summer I had been trying to quit playing video games so I could grow up a little, but after meeting Matt and his friends, I decided to have one last blowout summer over it. Besides, he and his close friends seemed to be almost as obsessed with the game as I was—just a lot newer to it—and they had girls calling or texting them all the time. Perhaps I’d meet a few of them eventually.
Every now and then, Griff’s girlfriend would stop by, or a couple of girls that Matt knew—not that I would ever say a word to them, and Matt or Griff would barely introduce me. They seemed to keep their video game life and their girls life completely separate, or, rather, the girls tended to get bored very quickly once we turned the Xboxes on and would leave. Also, it didn’t help that the friends I would bring along, usually Dave or Jim, would say stupid, creepy shit to them sometimes.
One night, halfway into the summer, I went there without Dave or Jim, and I met Daniela. Matt had announced it casually, around midnight, that Daniela wanted to stop by. She was 24—three years older than any of them and four years older than me. So, immediately I didn’t think this girl would have much to do with us. She had grown up being friends with Matt’s older sisters, and I figured she hadn’t seen Matt in a long time and wanted to catch up with him. But then he mentioned, “She likes Halo too. She’s played it with me a few times.”
“Get ready to meet an interesting person, guys,” Micah said to Griff and I.
“Why is that?” Griff asked. “She crazy?”
“She’s not crazy…in the traditional
sense,” he laughed. “She’s fun to hang out with. Maybe in smaller doses though.”
About 30 minutes later, she burst through the front door, and immediately I recognized that she was quite a unique person, dressed in a button-up shirt with flowers on it, bright red pants, and she wore thick glasses. Her dirty blonde hair was tied back in some kind of bun, as it would always be when I saw her later on. She filled the room with her voice most of the time, talking rapidly about whatever subjects came to mind. Before she sat down, she walked up to Griff and I and introduced herself.
When I told her my name is Ivan, Matt interrupted her to say, “He’s the prodigy I was telling you about, who played at MLG.”
She seemed excited about that. “You’re the one who played at MLG? I’ve watched their games before!”
“Really?” I was so surprised.
“Yeah. That’s awesome. You have to show me some replays of your games.”
“Oh, well we did terrible.”
“What did your team place?”
“Like, 20th or around there.”
“That’s not terrible! That’s good.”
Right about then I felt self-conscious about my voice and the fact that I probably hadn’t showered that day. For the first time in a few months I was having an actual conversation with a girl, in front of these other guys who still intimidated me on some level. And I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t sit. Was she waiting for me to move to the end of the couch, or did she just have so much energy that she had to stand? She loved to laugh and make sarcastic, over-the-top comments about our games. And after an hour of hanging out, she left almost as quickly as she came in.
Matt and Micah got to talking about Daniela, about how she was unpredictable and immature in some ways, but intelligent and warm hearted in other ways. Of course, Griff entertained the idea of trying to date her, and Matt told her it would be impossible. He asked why.
“Well,” Matt began. “I’ll just say, I’ve only ever heard her complain about men. She’s never come back here to talk to my sister about a date that went well. They always go bad in her opinion. She’s practically a man-hater.”
And then they told us about how, as a well-known girl around town, the rumors of her sex life varied, some saying she had had sex with several men in their 30s, or that she was mostly a lesbian, and some even claiming she was still a virgin.
She came over a couple more times on weekend nights, as if Matt’s house was her after bar stop, and each time after about an hour she would suddenly claim she was exhausted then leave. She even gamed with us a few times, and when she did she chose the gamertag ‘Foxina,’ which struck me as an awesome name for her. She wasn’t that good at the game, but she made it three times more enjoyable to play.
One night as she was leaving she urged us to put up the video games for a night and hang out in the house while cooking, and if we did she’d bring a couple of friends. We all thought it was a strange idea at first, that this older girl would want to spend her Friday night with us, but they agreed it sounded like that would be fun. I didn’t assume I was invited to something like this, as I was only Matt and Micah’s Halo buddy at the time, but Daniela directly asked me, “Ivan—you’re coming too, right?”
“Sure,” I said. “If yall want me to come.”
“Of course we want you to come! Why wouldn’t we? You’re already here all the time.”
And a warm sense of excitement and satisfaction lit up inside me. Finally I would get to see what the rest of Matt and his friends’ social lives were like.
On that eventful night Daniela brought over her friend Kacey. They stormed into the house with handfuls of groceries and did all the cooking. Everyone stood in the kitchen, huddled around the counter, drinking beer and talking. Within a few minutes I already felt like the odd man out. Matt’s girlfriend was coming over later. Griff had been talking favorably about Daniela, and they seemed to hit it off more and more each time she came over, and there was no way her friend would be into me. I never got a word in on their conversation, and half the time I didn’t know the other people they were talking about.
I drank four or five beers, hoping I would loosen up, but the alcohol just made me feel bummed out. Matt stopped all conversation to bark at me. “Ivan! You’re never talking tonight.”
“He never talks when I’m in the room,” Daniela said.
“It’s true!” Matt said. He pointed at me. “Ladies, this is the funniest guy in the room when yall aren’t around. And he’s a beast at Halo.”
“They’ve told me some of the jokes you tell when I’m not around” Daniela said. “How come I don’t get to see that side of you, Ivan?”
Matt, Griff, and Micah started muttering stuff like “he’s shy—don’t push him.” I tried to hide the fact that they were infuriating me. Then Daniela tried to whip up conversation by asking me random questions. One of them was, “Who are you in love with?”
“What do you mean?”
“You can answer it anyway you want. I’m just trying to learn about you.”
“I don’t know. No one right now.”
“Who’s the last person you kissed?”
My stomach churned, and my dumbass didn’t realize that lying was probably the best way out of this one. “Um…no one.”
“Really?” Half of them said.
“That’s alright,” Daniela said, holding back a smile.
” Matt started yelling about how I needed to get a girlfriend.
“Leave him alone, Matt!”
“Ivan’s girlfriend is Halo,” Griff said.
I couldn’t say anything. I was pissed!
Everyone went outside to the pool, and I joined them for a while but eventually slipped inside and started playing Halo by myself. An hour went by before anyone even seemed to notice. Daniela came in to say, “Ivan. Come on. Get your butt out here!”
She sat behind me on the couch, as I was sitting on the floor. “Are you pissed at us or something?”
“What do you mean, not really?”
“Nothing, just…spending time with my girlfriend I guess.”
“They were just messing with you, Ivan.” She patted my shoulder.
“They’re kinda right though.”
She let out a loud, frustrated sigh. “You stupid boys, always putting so much importance on virginity. You know, I
was a virgin when I was 22.”
Her words made me feel a bit better, but I didn’t say anything back.
“You know what I always loved about this living room as a kid?” She said. “This stereo.” She put on a CD, and the opening melody of Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born in the USA’ swelled up. I can never hear this song without chuckling at how intense it is. She asked me if I like this song, and one of my favorite jokes that I told to my friends over a year ago came to mind.
I looked at her with the most serious face I could manage. “This song and a bottle of rum got me through the eighth grade, Daniela.”
She cracked up at that one. And right as I started to think I was getting somewhere with her, she went outside to tell Kacey and the others what I said, and she didn’t come back in. I got bummed out again and figured the night was pretty much over. I went to play on my spare Xbox, which had been sitting in one of the sister’s rooms almost all summer, and that was pretty much my room to sleep in if we gamed all night.
At about midnight, I heard some quiet talking downstairs and eventually heard Kacey saying ‘bye’ to everyone. I figured Daniela was gone too, but minutes later someone walked down the hall and into the bathroom, which sits between two bedrooms and has a door connecting to each one of them. The shower water started running, which was unusual. None of the guys who hung out there ever used Matt’s showers. I assumed it was Daniela showering right next to me, with only a cracked door separating us. I didn’t want to be a perv, of course, and went back to the game. When the shower cut off, I looked at the door again, feeling the strongest of temptations to sneak up to the door and peek through.
For a split second, I thought I had entered a dream or was hallucinating, because Daniela whipped the door open and was suddenly standing in the room with me—stark naked, with a towel hanging off the back of her shoulders.
“Oh!” I leaned away from my spot on the bed, then looked away. “Sorry. I’m in here.”
“It’s okay,” she laughed. “I knew you were. I just came in to get some clothes.”
Matt hadn’t been lying when he said one time that he had discovered on a first-hand basis that she was comfortable with her nudity.
As she looked through the dresser, she said, “I figured I’d brighten your day a little by letting you see me naked.”
With those words, I felt permission to take a glance at her ass, still unsure of myself. “Thanks,” I said. “This is sort of my room when we’re all here.”
“Really? This is sort of my room when I’m here. Because it’s my best friend’s childhood bedroom. So you better not be snooping around in here.” She dressed in a tight white shirt and soft cotton shorts then sat down next to me on the bed. She smelled so fresh and flowery, it was intoxicating. “Don’t play another game. Talk with me for a while.”
“I don’t know. Isn’t it bright in here? I’m too sleepy to have all these lights on.” She turned off the overhead lights and turned on the lamp on top of the dresser, then looked at me a moment. “Are you comfortable like that? Wearing jeans while sitting all cross-legged?”
“No way. Get into something more comfortable.”
She turned back to the dresser. “Half the clothes in here are mine. Here, wear these.” She pulled out a girl’s pair of thin sweatpants and tossed them on me.
I stood up but hesitated. “Okay…I guess…” and I slowly took off my jeans right in front of her, which made me nervous as hell. I was totally confused as to what was going on—whether she was seducing me, teasing me, or if it really did irritate her to see me wearing jeans in a bed. She definitely was weird in a funny way.
“Those too.” She pointed at my boxers.
I laughed nervously. “Right here?”
“Hey, you saw me completely
naked just a minute ago didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t…ask you to.” I took my boxers off as candidly as possible. I didn’t even want to look at her face while I was exposed to her. I was so nervous that my dick was almost inside me!
Once we sat back down on the bed, she started talking to me, about how I shouldn’t let Matt and Griff poke fun at me without firing back at them. She complimented me a bunch of times, and occasionally she rubbed my knee or thigh with one hand, as she leaned closer. I could barely listen to her because I was still wondering what was going on between us. Also, she probably had quite a few drinks that night, and her topics were jumping all over the place. Eventually she started to lower her voice as she talked, rubbing my leg more firmly and looking at me for long pauses. I couldn’t get hard, so I sat there and let her be in control.
I smiled back at her. “What are we doing?”
“Nothing. We’re just talking.” She slipped her hand in my pants and rubbed my flat cock while staring at me. “See? We’re just two pals talking.”
“I like talking,” I said, in a shaky voice.
“Me too. I like talking so
“Why are you—doing this?”
I didn’t know what to say.
“You mean, this?
” She pulled my pants down to my thighs and started jerking me off, even though my dick was only half hard. But seeing her hand around it killed off some of my nerves and suddenly my sexual instincts were kicking in. “This?” She said again, in a bossy tone. “Answer me.”
Merely 20 seconds after she had pulled my pants down, I felt myself close to cumming, which was so embarrassing that I recoiled from her, and I had one of those awkward half-orgasms that can happen if you go just one stroke too many then try to stop it.
“Oh!” she giggled, as a big drop of cum landed on her hand, and that was all I ejaculated.
I let out a short groan, full of frustration and nerves. “Shit.” I tried to force a laugh. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
She laughed, said, “Uh, yeah it was,” then wiped the cum on my pants.
“No, just, not that fast. I didn’t—get it all out.”
“Then come here.”
“No it’s…I need a minute,” I said.
“No pants though,” she said, and pushed them down to my ankles then threw a blanket over me, and we went back to talking. I told her what I had heard about her sex life, and she dispelled most of the rumors. She had only been with one other partner in her life, and he was her age—no 35-year-olds in her history. Despite her confidence and outgoing attitude, she was always nervous and a bit neurotic about sex. With that in mind, I started to feel more comfortable around her. Before, I thought that she was just trying to break me in, or that Matt had gotten her to do this as a favor. But now I was starting to see her as someone only slightly less nervous than me. We started talking about the way the night went, and within a few minutes we were laughing with each other. I was thinking our hookup had ended, but she stopped talking and started rubbing her crotch through her shorts while listening to me.
I stopped mid-sentence and watched her for a while.
“Do you want to touch me?” She asked.
“Sure.” I timidly put my hand between her legs. She was soft and wet, even through the shorts. “Nice,” I whispered.
She whipped the blanket off me to reveal my half erect dick.
“I want to finish what I started.” She pushed on my chest, and it took me a second to realize she wanted me to fully lie down. To my greatest possible delight, she wasn’t going to stroke me again. She went down on me, and a wave of pleasure flowed all through my body. She used both hands to rub my thighs and play with my balls. It was incredible. And I was able to last quite a while because the half-orgasm from before had set me back. When she started speeding up and focusing her mouth on the tip of my penis, while holding my shaft with her hand, I figured she wanted me to cum. I relaxed and focused in on it; within seconds my orgasm was building.
“That’s it” I said. “That’s it.”
She pulled her head up and cupped a hand under my penis while jerking me as fast as possible. My orgasm was twice as intense as anything I could have done for myself. I leaned my head back, took a deep breath while staring at the dim ceiling, and never wanted this moment to end.
“Oh my God—that’s a lot.” She was giggling and wiping the cum on my shirt.
“Not on me!” I laughed.
“What? It’s not mine!”
She lay down next to me and slid an arm under my neck. “So that was good?”
“That was the best ever…Foxina.” I called her by her gamer name.
“Thanks, Saygee.” She used my gamer name.
She slid her free hand into her shorts and closed her eyes. For a few minutes the room went silent. I didn’t know if I was supposed to help her. But really, I didn’t want to, because watching her pleasure herself was so enjoyable, seeing her bite her lip and squint her eyes more tightly as she brought herself to orgasm. And when she finished, she sighed deeply then looked at me a moment. “There,” she said.
In that moment, she didn’t seem so much older and cooler than me. She seemed like a girl my age, who I could talk to about anything. And that was an important learning experience for me—one of the many I would have during that life-changing summer. Oddly enough, I still hadn’t kissed another woman by the end of that night, but that event was soon to come.
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<a href="https://www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/foxina-the-girl-gamer.aspx">Foxina, the Girl Gamer</a>