The knock was repeated, more firmly this time.
"Victoria! Is something wrong?"
"Aunt Helen!" I exclaimed loudly and jumped to my feet.
I turned the knob and pulled the door inwards.
My aunt stood in the hallway, still in her outdoor coat and hat. She looked concerned as I stepped back to allow her to enter.
I closed the door behind her.
"Victoria. Is something the matter?" she asked softly, her face the picture of concern.
"No, Aunt Helen, not at all." I replied, putting on a mask of sincerity and trying hard to cover the nervousness I was feeling, "Why do you ask?"
"I just came back from Ipswich to see you run up the stairs to your room and bang the door behind you and now I see your neck and cheeks are deep red."
I didn't answer her but dropped my gaze from her deepest blue eyes to the carpet at my feet.
"I also heard Bethany call after you. Did she upset you? For if she did..."
I gasped and put my hand to my mouth.
"No, Aunt, she did nothing wrong! You cannot beat her again, please..." I implored.
Lady Helen took my trembling hand and held it tight between her own hands whilst she looked at me.
"I will not beat her if she has done nothing untoward, Victoria, but something has clearly upset you. You can tell me, you know, I will not bite." She smiled then and I saw the face of a beautiful and caring woman and at that moment I felt I could tell her anything.
Still holding my hand, she sat in the chair at the dresser and waited patiently as I began to tell her what had happened in the dining room a few minutes before.
I started slowly but the words began to trip over themselves as they tumbled out from my quivering lips.
My aunt lifted a gloved hand and gently touched a finger to my lips, halting my explanation and calming me at the same time.
"Shh... little one," she whispered and took my other hand. Now she held them both in front of her as she looked up at me.
"To touch someone in such a way is not a sin, Victoria. I know your parents were very strict in your upbringing but they were afraid that you might be tempted into bad ways." Her blue eyes sparkled as they flitted from one side to the other as she spoke. "Things are very different here. The reason that the girls like working here is because they are free to explore their feelings without fear of being judged by the outside world and, in the same way, you too are free here, to explore as you wish or not to if that also pleases you."
"But Aunt Helen, You flogged Bethany! That is so harsh." I couldn't contain myself.
"Yes, my dear, but out of necessity. I have to be sure that they understand the boundaries. It is the price of freedom, and yes, I do know that some of them enjoy it but it is better that they think I am not aware of that fact otherwise it would be no punishment, would it?" She smiled and winked
I smiled back at her, feeling better already.
Aunt Helen squeezed my hands.
"While you are here," she said, "you are free to explore your desires as you wish. You may touch and be touched but you must never ever force anyone to do anything against their will. You must always respect their wishes in the same way that they will respect yours." A pause as she waited to see whether I understood, then:
"If there is anything you wish to know, about anything at all, don't be afraid to ask me."
I nodded happily. I wanted to ask her so much about things I had no understanding of but the words just would not form. Instead I just replied.
"Yes Aunt Helen, thank you. I have so much I want to ask but for now I have to return to Philo...Sister Watson."
"All right," she said. "I will speak to Bethany when I have taken off my coat, hat and gloves."
I clasped my hands to my face in horror.
"Oh, no! Please don't!" I implored her, "Whatever will she think of me?"
"As you wish," she said, "but you must speak to her at some time. Bethany is a little coarse but she has a good heart and will be upset if she thinks she has offended you in some way."
"I will, Aunt, I promise but not just yet, I am too embarrassed. Perhaps after I am finished at the hospital."
Lady Helen stood and took a few steps towards the door before stopping and turning back.
"You are very young, Victoria, and have lived a very sheltered life. The loss of your parents is very sad at such a young age and now you have a whole new life to begin, an adult life, but you are not alone, my dear."
She smiled and, after a brief pause, turned and left.
I took a deep breath and, after allowing a little time to pass, I returned to the dining room. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to Bethany.
I need not have worried. When I rang the the little hand bell, Maggie appeared.
She did not mention anything about Bethany so I neither did I.
After lunch I returned to the main house, to resume my instruction with Philomena. As I stepped through the main doorway I was immediately met by the soldier who had directed me that morning.
"Pardon me, Miss," he said, almost as if he was apologising for delaying me, "Sister Watson asked me to let you know she can't see you this afternoon. She said to apologise but that you should be all right now, at least in the grounds."
"Oh, thank you," I replied. I wondered what it could be that had kept her away but I knew she was very busy so it was probably important.
The sun was high and the sky was beautifully clear and blue so I decided to take advantage and walk through the gardens and enjoy the warmth on my face.
The gardens were beautiful.
Part of Lady Helen's agreement with the army was that they would maintain the gardens for the duration of their occupation and they were, so far, doing just that. The lawns were neat and short and the bushes and hedges were immaculate.
I followed a little pathway that led to a secluded area surrounded by hedges, like a little secret garden of pretty flowers of many bright colours and the scent was wonderful.
The garden was entered through a small archway in the tall hedge and, on passing through, I saw a man sitting on the wrought iron bench.
He was a pitiful sight. He wore the uniform of an ordinary soldier but his head was swathed in bandages covering his eyes and one arm ended just below the elbow. This too was wrapped in bandages and yet he still appeared smart. His uniform pressed and his shoes gleaming in the bright sunlight.
"Who's there?" he asked.
From his voice I could tell he was hardly any older than I was and I simply replied:
"I am Victoria."
He turned his head as if to hear from which direction my voice came from.
"Victoria?" he queried.
"Yes, Victoria Harcourt. I have come to live here."
"Ah, I see," was all he said.
"You have the advantage of me, sir," I said, walking towards him.
He began to get to his feet as I approached and I saw he was having some difficulty.
“ Please, you have no need to stand,” I said. “I can see it is difficult for you. You made the effort, that is enough to show you have manners.”
The young soldier slumped back onto the bench.
“ Thank you Miss Harcourt,” he replied breathlessly, “It is an effort to stand I do confess.”
“ Call me Victoria, if you wish to,” I said, “But I am still at a disadvantage sir.”
“ Oh, yes, I am sorry. My name is Thomas, Gunner Thomas Billington to give you my full title.”
He still looked straight ahead as he talked but with his head to one side as if straining to hear where my voice was coming from.
I stood immediately in front of him as I spoke.
“ Pleased to meet you Thomas,” I said.
“ The pleasure is all mine, Victoria, I can assure you.”
His manners were impeccable for a private soldier and he spoke very nicely too. Although I was not an expert in such things, from what I had seen generally, most soldiers seemed to have accents from their home regions but I could not discern any clue as to where Gunner Thomas Billington originated from.
“ Would you mind if I sit with you for a while, Thomas?” I asked. I did not wish to impose myself upon him if he had come here to be alone.
“ I would like that, Victoria. Please, sit down.”
He shuffled along to the end of the bench, allowing enough space for me to sit beside him.
We sat in silence for a few moments. I didn't really know how to begin. I didn't wish to ask about his injuries. Philomena had explained to me that some of the soldiers memories were so horrific that to talk of them caused them to break down or to become violent.
Finally I said:
“ Thomas, where is your home town?” He smiled.
“ I am from Wells, in Somerset,” he answered.
“ I have heard of Wells,” I told him. “I learned about the cathedral when I was at school. Doesn't it have a clock some four hundred years old?”
“ That's right!” he said, his lips widening into a broad smile as he thought of his home, “And it still works perfectly! It is a beautiful city even though it is not much more than a village really.”
“ I was wondering, Thomas...” I began, still unsure about what to say. I paused.
“ About what?” he replied, curiously.
“ Well, about you really.”
“ What about me?”
“ I was wondering how it is you do not speak as though you are from Somerset.” I felt a little uneasy, not knowing whether he would think me inquisitive.