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Without Love

Part two of Michelle's journey to Adulthood.

Without Love

 

 

Part two.

 

 

The transition from College, armed with all the relevant qualifications for a life in the drudge of office administration, to a job that promised just that as a future, was quite easy. Michelle enjoyed the freedom her meagre wage allowed; the freedom to buy clothes she wanted, rather than those chosen for her by a mother so far out of touch that she may as well be on another planet.

 

It was not long before the freedom she had tasted, became a desire to move on, leave her parents to the rest of their lives and make her own way. The break, when it came, was full of tears, promises of support and an open invitation to come home if it all went wrong. Privately, Michelle had no intention of allowing things to go bad and would only move back home if there were absolutely no other avenue.

 

She took up a shared flat with another girl also branching out for the first time. Sonia was trying to leave behind a history of abuse from her father; nothing sexual in content, but a constant haranguing and nagging as if she were in the way all the time; never quite good enough. The chance to be independent and free of the shackles of family life was too great to ignore. She jumped at the chance of sharing the cost of renting a small flat.

 

Their meagre possessions, even when pooled together, hardly made a dent on the storage spaces. The flat had only the basics in it, twin beds with dubious mattresses, a wardrobe each that had little chance of closing where the hinges had been stretched and no chance at all of locking. A kitchenette with a small two ringed electric hotplate and a sink that had seen better days long before the two girls were born. But, it was home, their’s to with as they pleased. An attack of paint and a few trawls around the second hand stores had the placed furnished to a reasonable level of comfort and quite habitable.

 

They got along well for a few months.

 

Then, Sonia fell in love, with a complete idiot. She seemed to attract the type of man who had his brains somewhere near his groin and had as much regard for her feelings as he might for a plank of wood. When she announced that she wanted to have him move in; Michelle hit the roof, especially as she had already spurned his illicit advances at a party they had all gone to, and point blank refused to allow it. The girls quarrelled bitterly, but eventually, it was agreed that he could stay over one night a week.

 

The affair lasted for a month before he was spotted with a short-skirted girl, coming out of a pub and jumping into a taxi. He was supposed to have been taking Sonia out for a meal that night, but didn’t call. Sonia found out about his alternative plans when Tracy, one of their few friends, gleefully told her what she had seen. Sonia was mortified and, inconsolably threw herself on the bed, promising to let her life’s blood. Michelle thought it a bit over dramatic, but made the right clucking noises to her flatmate until she calmed down.

 

Sonia was fine until Michelle made an inadvertent remark about how he had made a move on her at the party. Suddenly faced with a spitting and furious Sonia, Michelle backed off, fending blows as she back-peddled to the bedroom door. Alone in her own room, Michelle shrugged, thinking Sonia a bit mad. She undressed and fell into her duvet.

 

Perhaps an hour or so later, she was woken from the light sleep she had fallen into, at the sound of her door being knocked on softly, as if the knocker didn’t really want to come in. She called out and a sheepish Sonia poked her head round the corner, and then the rest of her followed, apologetic and mollified. Sonia sat on the edge of Michelle’s bed, waiting for the words of forgiveness she hoped her flatmate would give her. She squealed delightedly when she heard that it was okay and threw her arms around Michelle’s neck in an exuberant display of gratitude.

 

That was when things went very different between them and signalled the end of their friendship.

 

The hug turned into a kiss, chaste, only cheek against cheek, but then mouth to mouth. Michelle, somewhat overawed by the sudden change, kissed Sonia back, only to find that her lips had parted and a tongue sought entrance to her mouth. Thoughtlessly, she allowed the intrusion and enjoyed the little thrill that passed over her at the enormity of what was happening.

 

Without breaking the kiss, Michelle pulled her duvet aside to reveal her naked body under the cover and as an invitation for Sonia to get in. The kiss broke momentarily while Sonia’s nightwear was pulled over her head and thrown to one side. Naked, she lay next to Michelle and resumed the kiss. Their breasts touched as the distance between them closed until they were flat against each other, arms pulling as if to meld into one body.

 

Sonia’s free hand, the one that was not trapped under her, sought Michelle’s sex. A finger slipped over her clit to the slick lips of her opening. The touch was electric and so much different than that of a man’s roughness; very delicate, smaller obviously, but also very much more experienced at what feels good for a woman.

 

The kiss became more frantic as Michelle’s body responded to the stimulation. Somehow they breathed while tongues explored each others mouths. Sonia’s nipple became the plaything of Michelle’s finger tips, bringing it to an erect hardness as she gently pulled and twisted the sensitive nub. Michelle felt her wetness being brought forth by her sudden lover. Her body ached for release, needing to feel more than one finger tip inside her, even though that one finger tip was driving her to distraction. She wanted to be filled and fucked to orgasm, more than wanted; it was a primal need, an insistent demand.

 

She hooked a leg over Sonia’s thigh, spreading her hips and allowing Sonia a much better access to her body and was rewarded as first one, then two fingers, followed the already busy forerunner. Three fingers now worked their magic, rubbing over the ridged hardness of her “G” spot while a thumb pad rubbed her clit in circular motions.

 

Unable to maintain the kiss, Michelle rolled onto her back, her hips bucking at the delight Sonia’s fingers were giving her. Her legs spread wider while her hands gripped the bed sheet in claw like fists, scrunching it up as the first wave of climax approached. She was soaked now, her natural lubricants smeared over her labia and Sonia’s fingers made little squelching sounds. Then, a fourth finger joined the other three, spreading her lips wider than she could remember them ever being before.

 

The feeling of Sonia’s hand filling her cavity was so intense; Michelle was unable to do anything but lay there completely at the mercy of her lover. Sonia began to thrust her hand slowly in and out, just enough to create a friction against muscle tissue while her thumb pressed against a very hard clit.

 

Propped on an elbow, she could watch Michelle’s face, pleased at the twitching at the side of her mouth and eyes tightly screwed shut. She watched at breath, being sucked in between gritted teeth and parted lips. She lowered her head to take Michelle’s nipple nearest to her, in her mouth, sucking the dark pink nub between her teeth and gently biting on it. Michelle’s body arched off the bed at this addition to her sensory overload, a screech left her throat, and her climax gushed, soaking everything.

 

Sonia slipped her thumb inside Michelle’s soaking cunt and pushed hard until her fist passed the outer muscles filling her completely. She had to kneel to gain leverage so that she could really fuck her flat mate. The sight of Michelle, helpless below her gave her a small triumph. Michelle was normally so in control and level headed, but right at this moment, with a fist inside her, she was way beyond control, humping on Sonia’s wrist and squealing her climax as wave over wave coursed through her. Sonia grasped Michelle’s breast nearest to her and squeezed hard, forcing the beautiful orb to misshapen, her teat pushed out to prominence and redden as blood was brought to the surface.

 

Michelle couldn’t control herself, suddenly; her urine spurted in a golden shower, hitting the wall some feet away. She had reached a point of total release. She shuddered uncontrollably in complete orgasm. It was a total surprise to her, an orgasm that ripped through her body, leaving her bereft of sense. It felt like improbable masses were colliding in her brain, thumping and then spinning at tangents beyond description.

 

Sonia removed her fist carefully, twisting gentle as she prised it out and lay alongside Michelle, cradling her head in the crook of her arm while the shudders of climax gradually diminished. She kissed her mouth and held her tightly as if giving the hapless girl an anchor to the world. Sonia hadn’t come herself, but didn’t feel the need to. She had won a victory over Michelle who, up until now, had been the dominant of the two in their flat sharing.

 

They slept locked in embrace, safe in each others arms.

 

But it was the end of their relationship. Michelle, worried about the shift in the balance and in denial that she had enjoyed sex with a woman, decided that she would move on, leave Sonia to the flat, leave her job and travel to wherever fortune took her.

 

Sonia cried non-stop when the parting took place, but Michelle didn’t shed so much as a tear. She had analysed what had happened and, although the experience was the best sex she had ever had, knew that she was neither gay, nor in love with Sonia.

­­­­­___________________________________________________________

 

Armed only with a few suitcases, Michelle had returned home to her parents, but only to regroup and decide where she would go from here. She had a hankering to travel abroad, but her finances were not that great, so that was one avenue not open for the time being.

 

She took a job in the village nearby, serving little old ladies with blue rinse hairdos, tea and buttered scones in a tea shop owned by one of her mother’s friends. It didn’t pay much, but meant that she didn’t need to dip into her savings for the time being and would give her the chance to decide on her future. Life was passing her by and she knew it, but felt powerless to anything about it.

 

Then it happened, out of the blue, with no warning. Her breath stopped in her throat, her knees wobbled and her heart tried to jump out of her chest though her throat.

 

Michelle was going about the daily mindless routine of teacakes and sticky buns, fending off questions about marriage and love lives, only a part of her mind occupied by the ritual. When he walked in she didn’t notice him, at first, her back was towards the door, with its stupid little bell on a spring, fixed over head so a new customer was always announced by the tinkle. She placed yet another scone in front of Mrs. Friar who had already polished off two. She didn’t turn around to see who the new customer was and ignored the sound of the bell.

 

But, then she did turn, her eyes caught sight of him and it felt like she just continued to revolve in a slow spin. He was beautiful, simply the best description she could come up with. At around six feet one or two tall, with an unruly mop of golden hair, broad shoulders and nice clothes, Michelle though he was just about perfect. Her whole body subtly changed, she stood a little more erect, enhancing her breasts, a smile played across her lips and her eyes sparkled. Unknown to her, she exuded pheromone laced scent as adrenalin whizzed around her veins, shortening her breath.

 

Unsteadily, she approached the table by the window, overlooking the high street, to ask him what he would like.

 

His eyes, when they focused on her face, having travelled from her feet up, were the bluest of blues, clear and sparkling with mischievous crinkles at each corner. His clear skin looked permanently tanned, but not in the weather beaten way of a sailor, just of someone who spent a lot of time n the open air. He looked... healthy... yes, that was the perfect word.

 

Somehow, she stammered out the question, what would he like and then felt foolish at her girlish incompetence. His voice dripped into her ear, a deep resonance that seemed to tickle her cochlea and ping at strings inside her she didn’t know existed.

 

Dazed, she managed to take his order, managed to convey it back to Mrs Giles, who owned the teashop and then, managed to totter back to his table when the tea he had ordered was ready. She placed the tray on his table, then, not knowing what to do, hesitated a little too long beside him, hoping he would look up and smile at her. It was stupid, silly even, but Michelle had never felt anything like this attraction for anyone before and didn’t know suddenly, what she was supposed to do.

 

He did smile eventually, giving her an indulgent wink before turning back to the paper he had carried in with him.

 

She scuttled away, feeling mortified at her childishness, thinking he probably thought her to be a little simple or something.

 

She watched him hawkishly from the safety of the rear of the counter burgeoned with cakes and flyers for local charities. Watched as his head nodded to something he was reading, watched as expressions flittered across his profile as he went from article to article. Her stomach was cramping a little from the elevated excitement he induced in her.

 

Then he was gone. Just like that. He had left money under the saucer of his tea cup, arose with the paper under his arm and shut the door, with the stupid bell over head and walked off left, down the high street and away from her life. Michelle wanted suddenly to cry at the lost chance. Mrs Giles couldn’t understand the sudden change in her assistant and quickly gave up trying when she couldn’t get any sense from the girl.

 

He had left a tip, not much, but a tip all the same. Michelle pocketed the pound coin as she cleared away the things from the table, smoothed out the cover and straightened the condiments. Wistfully, she glanced up through the shop window to see him climb into a car, the manufacture of which she didn’t recognise. A small “oh” escaped her lips as he drove away.

 

“Beautiful wasn’t he?” remarked one of the ladies sitting close by. Michelle replied that she hadn’t noticed, but the old woman just smiled and nodded as if in time to a secret and hidden melody.

 

That night, Michelle’s masturbation was just that little more frenzied as imagination bore her to the heights of passion in his arms.

 

Several days passed. She looked out for him, for the foreign car or any trace, but she was unrewarded. Nothing of him remained, not even tyre tracks in the kerb and she did look, berating herself for the stupidity, but unable to stop herself. It felt like bereavement, a sudden loss, with nothing to fill the void.

 

Then he came back and sat in the same chair at the same table as he had before. Michelle almost knocked over a cake stand in her rush to serve him. All of the feelings she had felt at his last visit, came in a wild tsunami, but this time, she didn’t feel quite as awkward as she took his order.

 

She placed his tea and cup in front of him while he stared out of the window. She felt like giving him a little curtsey as they used to do in Victorian times, but managed to curb the urge.

 

Then he turned and smiled, looking into her eyes. She thought she might faint suddenly and gasped, her hand covering her mouth. He had effectively reduced her to mush with just a smile.

 

“Who owns the hardware shop across the road?” He continued to smile and seemed to enjoy the effect he was having on her, seemed to be fully aware of what he had evinced in her.

 

“It’s closed.” That wasn’t an answer she knew, but rational thought was not high on her list at the moment; he was talking to her and she liked that, very much.

 

“I can see it is closed, but who owns it?” His smile deepened, creasing his crow footed eyes a little more.

 

“Mr Lincombe I think, but he died a few months ago. I suppose his family do.”

 

“Where do they live?” He asked.

 

Sensing a chance, Michelle blurted out.

 

“I’m not sure of the address, but I can take you if you would like.” The slim chance of spending time in his company was too great to miss.

 

“In a little while then, that would be very kind of you.”

 

He finished his tea. Michelle dumped her apron and without a word to Mrs Giles, left the teashop, never to return.

 

They spent the afternoon, after he had found that Mr Lincombe’s family had pulled up stakes and left town, walking around the park, with its duck infested lake. Talking and getting to know one another, relating their lives. In her case, she gabbled on simply to impress him and keep his attention for as long as she could. Michelle thought she might be walking about six inches off the ground.

 

Alan was in property, hence his interest in the shop. Was not married or attached, lived in London in a comfortable riverside apartment and was only on the road to find new acquisitions for the company he worked for. It sounded exotic to her and probably would have done, even if he was an undertaker.

 

They ate at his hotel later that night after he had driven her home to change her clothes and get a shower. Michelle rattled through his background and details to her mother, announcing that, finally, she had found someone she could love. Her mother, sceptical at the speed with which Michelle had fallen for the guy, was noncommittal, but wished her a pleasant evening.

 

The food that passed her lips was chewed and swallowed with no thought or recognition of what she was eating. She didn’t taste the wine, even though it was one of the better from the vault. All consuming to her, was the sight of him as he spoke, relaxed and smiling, confident in his attitude and manner. Michelle was lost in a sea of emotion that roiled in her breast and jumbled her thought processes.

 

Then, they went to his room and to his bed. It was now that his confidence wavered a little. Instead of attacking her in lustful bullishness, he asked her what she liked, was this okay? Was that alright? As he explored her body with fingertips, tongue and hands in a gentle quest to find out what she desired.

 

Naked, she thought he looked even more beautiful than when she had first seen him. His musculature rippled beneath bronzed skin that had a light covering of downy hair. His large hands easily covered her whole breast, cupping her into his palm, creating a slight pressure on her enflamed nipple. His breath was sweet from the wine as they kissed, probing with his tongue at the ridges of her palate.

 

His cock, when she nervously found it in her grasp, was neither huge nor small, was circumcised and almost fully engorged. She wanted nothing more than to take him into her mouth to taste him and please him as much as she was possibly able.

 

Making the decision for her, Alan turned so that he could nuzzle her sex with his nose. Carefully, he prised her lips apart with his fingers and lapped at her as she took his cock between her lips and flicked a tongue over the slit. In their eagerness to please the other, their singular concentration on what they were doing, helped to keep them from climaxing as they mutually pleasured each other’s sex with tongues and mouths. Michelle had his cock as deep as she could, sucking and nodding, feeling the veins of his dick as they slid over her tongue. He in return, was sucking her clit between his teeth and then her labia in a delicious vacuum that suffused her lips.

 

“Oh that feels good.” He told her, raising his head to speak and wiping her essence from his lips at the same time.

 

“Ith ‘eels etty goog oo.” She tried to say without taking him from her mouth. It sounded so ridiculous and had them giggling helplessly, unable to continue momentarily. The tension broke of trying to be careful, they returned to each other’s bodies with an abandon. The ice was broken with the laughter and now it was business in earnest.

 

Alan shifted position, turning and breaking the umbilical connection of cock and mouth to kiss her lips and take her breasts in his hands. He sucked her lower lips between his teeth and gentle bit down on it as she writhed under him, manoeuvring so that he was between her parted legs. She passed her hand between their bodies to grasp his hardness and guide it to her waiting sex. The umbilical re-connection was made when he slid into her, filling her body with his manhood. Her knees came up to embrace his hips and urge him into her further. Alan thrust, driving his cock deeper. Michelle gasped, expelling air into his mouth where he still had her lip between his teeth.

 

Gradually, the pace increased. He had to support himself with hands either side of her body, lifting himself off of her so that he could watch the play of senses as they flitted across her face.

 

Michelle was approaching her climax, giving in totally to the pleasure and mounting need to come. Her muscles clenched, tightening around his cock, increasing the delicious sensations of friction as he slid in and out of her. And then, she arrived at that overwhelming point when nerve endings jangle and control slips from grasp. She gushed around his cock, soaking him with her warm liquid and screaming her climax, grasping him in a bear hug, then digging her nails into the skin of his back as the next few thrusts took her to an even higher place.

 

She had never come as hard, each spasm was gut wrenching in intensity, taking her breath away as muscles clenched and released. She shivered in small, quick movements that came and went in seconds repeatedly. Her hands bunched and released, bunched and released. He had paused, watching and enjoying the throes of her passion as they played across her eyes. He waited until she had settled a little before taking up a slower rhythm that was to bring his own fulfilment.

 

At first, Michelle hardly realised he had begun to make love to her again, hadn’t completed his own need. But, then, it filtered through her jumbled senses. Each slow, methodical almost, thrust, was stoking the flames in her body all over again. She sucked her lip between her teeth, biting down on her flesh. She clawed at his shoulders and lifted her pelvis in time with him, using her back as a fulcrum. Each pelvic rock drew him into her body, to a place she wanted desperately, to feel him eventually explode. The pace quickened.

 

She felt delirious, borne on a wave of continuous highs, each crashing over the last to subsume the previous feelings. As the pace quickened toward his climax, so did her breath and the height of her arc as if she were trying to completely envelope him in her embracing sex. Desperately, she clung to him as if to never allow him to escape.

 

Alan shuddered with a final thrust. His come spilling into her, in spurts, driven by need and release. Smaller and smaller after-shocks rippled through him. Michelle felt every one of them and mirrored the spasms as she gradually managed to gain control of her body.

 

  They lay, catching their breath, still connected and entwined. Heart rates slowed to somewhere near normal, eventually.

 

At last, Michelle thought, someone I can give my self to, take for myself and love. She realised that, without love, sex was just a pure function, enjoyable perhaps, but devoid of emotion which made the act something else entirely. Sex for the sake of sex was fine, but in the context of love, had a purpose far in excess of the physical motions.

 

She cried softly, replete in his arms and completely sated for the first time in her life. They may have only been making love for a short while in relative terms, but the whole experience had taken her breath away and removed the last barriers.

 

Later, they made love again, exploring even further, what their bodies were capable of. Using any and all methods open to them. Hands, tongue, fingers, even toes where she sat on his large toe, wiggling her butt to force him into her. She suckled on his cock, bringing him to hardness, tasting their combined juices, smelling the musky scent of sex on his pubic hair. She swallowed his spend, much diluted after their previous exploits. He returned the favour, savouring her arousal as his tongue flicked over her clit while his fingers brought her to a deeply satisfying climax once again.

 

  They eventually fell into an exhausted sleep several hours later, joined in each others arms, never to be separated again.

 

 

 

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