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We'll Have Nun Of That

I’d never woken up with another person in the same bed as me. The nuns had strict ideas about things like that. As had my parents. How many days were there in 18 years? That was how many times I’d woken up alone.

This time was different.

Waking up with a man in my bed, his arm draped casually across my body, with his hand cupping, well almost cupping my breast freaked me out.

Just a little.

But it was definitely there.

A kind of panic was trapped in my chest. Trapped by the hand touching my boob through the soft material of my pyjamas.

However, it wasn’t the hand which was freaking me out. I’d had my boobs fondled before; it was no big deal.

What was really freaking me out was the morning wood nestling between my bare ass cheeks. As morning woods went, this was surely a redwood. The thing felt freaking enormous!

I smirked into my pillow, taking a mouthful of hair as I inhaled.

I had a giant redwood lodged between the cheeks of my bum. Had it been felled in the night?

The trunk moved.

Felled trees rarely, if ever got up again. I lay in a puzzled sort of funk. How was I was supposed react to finding a giant redwood poking into my body. How was I supposed to react to the little branches tickling my skin?

Chop them off?

How would the redwood’s owner react when he discovered that I’d trimmed his branches? I chewed my hair in an effort to keep the noise of laughter inside my body. The trapped laughter helped. The panic subsided and I stopped freaking out.

The smooth canopy of the redwood jammed right up against my orifice. Not the orifice I was expecting but an orifice non the less.

“Oh my giddy God!” Surely the owner of the giant redwood knew enough about the female anatomy to know that he wasn’t supposed to stick his stump in there! It was touching me. Pressing into me with blunt intent.

The breath on my neck was coming in short, choppy bursts. What were the thoughts going on behind my head?

The stump was pressing in and out, as though looking for somewhere to lay root. Its owner must have been awake. Must have been.

I turned round, ready for a conflict, ready to fight, to complain but saw only flickering eyelids. No-one could do that with their eyes, could they? Was he dreaming? And if so, what was he dreaming of that was making his tree spring up like that?

Okay, so he was asleep and having a sexy dream. That was okay. I could handle that.


My eyes went down between our bodies without conscious thought.

There it was. Like a gravity-defying branch hovering between us.

It didn’t look as big as it had felt when it had been wedged right up against my…

The tree twitched. I didn’t know trees did that and my eyes were on stalks as it did some kind of press-up, going up and down a couple of times.

My hand reached down by itself. Where was it going? Between my legs? Or…

My fingers brushed against the morning wood. It was both soft and hard at the same time.


And hot.

Some instinct grabbed hold of me and I had to clamp my thighs together to prevent me from doing something… Oh god, I wanted that. I wanted that in a way I’d never wanted anything before.

Something happened in the dream. The giant redwood jerked in my light grip and muscles drove the wood right up.


It speared through my circled fist.

Except. The foreskin didn’t come through. Only the purple and pink crown came through.

Holy shit.

I didn’t know cocks could shed their skin like that. Like a snake? I couldn’t pretend that it was a tree anymore. The thing in my hand was a cock and I wondered what else I didn’t know about it.

I stroked it. And as I stroked, it thrust against me, accentuating every movement. Damn if that wasn’t the hottest thing I had ever done.

The fingers of my left hand wandered down between my legs. I needed it now.

It was hard doing both hands at once, so I ended up using the same rhythm with both, going faster and faster to meet my need. I was going to make myself come… but just before I did, something hot splashed up underneath my nightshirt.

I looked down in time to see the second streak of white launch itself clear and attach itself to my belly.

Was that… ?

Oh shit. He was awake. Only the fact that I was looking down meant he hadn’t see my open eyes. He yanked his cock clear and rolled away, unwrapping himself from the tangle of covers and sheets. I watched as he staggered across the bedroom and went out through the open doorway.

A filthy voiced screamed at me.


I listened. I had to.

I smeared the cum down my belly, over my mound and used it to lubricate my throbbing clitoris. The screaming of filthy obscenities condensed to become a harmony of pleasure. Now I wanted to scream but knew that I had to keep quiet.

Oh fuck, did I need to keep quiet.

Although keeping quiet meant I could hear the little voice telling me what a freak I was. Freak! Freak! Freeeeak!

“Are you awake?” The owner of the cock had returned, although it was now fully covered.

“Yes, Father, I think so, although I was having the weirdest dream.”

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © Copyright ©2015 Abigail Thornton. All Rights Reserved.

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