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I couldn't Help Myself Pt. 1

A straight man gives into gay passion
The farewell party was fun and long. Matt, of course had a few drinks, maybe one or two too many, but not enough to do any serious harm. Nevertheless, I wasn’t about to let him drive home on his last day of work. Since the party was up in his neck of the woods, a good thirty minutes from the office and almost full hour from my house, I figured I might just crash on his couch for the night and he could drive me back to my car in the morning. He was agreeable to this.

After loading up the car with his going away gifts, we were soon on our way to his place. Though his employment with the company ended that Friday, he wasn’t moving away for a few more days and the start of is new job was a over a week away. Suffice it to say, it didn’t matter that we had stayed out late drinking, neither of us had any plans or anywhere to be the next morning.

On the drive to his apartment we talked about the new job, people he would miss the most, as well as other things. It was no secret that Matt was gay, very openly in fact, so it came as no surprise when the conversation shifted to guys and sex. I of course was not offended by such talk and I listened and smiled when he would reveal the things he has done with a fellow or two. Though he was a bit on the effeminate side, it was not that annoying flamboyance of one broadcasting his lifestyle and worse, one that sought constant attention. Nor was he the type to force it down your throat either. No, in fact he was for the most part, very easy going and quiet. I have no doubt that because of his gentleness and sensitivity that he would probably play the more feminine role in a relationship.

The alcohol decreased his inhibitions as it often does to people who consume it, so when he touched upon the subject of oral sex I suddenly found myself curiously interested in the topic and I listened intently as the conversation deepened. Without realizing it, I actually engaged him on the subject, asking him question after question like how it is done or how it feels to do it, if he’s ever had it done to him, if he’s ever had a man cum in his mouth, etc...I believe he actually found it amusing, my continued questions, but his next response caught me completely off guard.

“Have you ever thought about doing it?” he asked.

“Doing what?” I answered, knowing full well he knew that I knew what he was talking about. I of course just laughed and rolled my eyes giving no reply.

“C’mon, you know ... giving a guy a blow job?”

No answer.

“Well?” he repeated.

“You know I like girls, Matt,” I finally replied.

“So. I like girls too - I also like sucking cock - what’s the problem?” He laughed.

“I like having mine sucked - but by a woman,” I firmly, but humorously retorted.

“A blow job is a blow job. If you were to close your eyes, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference," he said.

“Perhaps, perhaps not,” I said as the discomfort started setting in.

Not discomfort caused by any offense to his conversation, but for the fact that my mind was awash with imagery while Matt gave up the description of his experiences and even more so, because I became aware of the consequences of those thoughts, namely a certain pleasurable, albeit embarrassing reaction that began to manifest in my pants. Matt continued to torture me with his interrogation.

“What seems to be the problem? You’re thinking about it, aren’t you? C’mon ... admit it. You are!”

“You want to know what it’s like don’t you?” he continued.“Would you like to suck or be sucked?” he asked.

“You’re drunk!” I said.

“Of course I am - I’m also horny. What about you?”

“Can we please change the subject?” I laughingly asked.

“You want to. I can see it. You’ve suddenly gone quiet, but you’re not telling me to shove off either - you want to!” He smiled.

“What I want is to do is hit the sack, I’m tired.”

Just then we arrived at his apartment. It was late and quiet so I wasn’t worried about anyone seeing me enter with him. The thought of course entered my mind of other guys he had brought to his place for who knows what, but I didn’t seem to care at that point what anyone would think if they did in fact see me. All I wanted to do was to go to sleep, but that didn’t seem to relieve the tightness in my underwear or the embarrassing bulge that was no doubt visible. I of course did everything I could to conceal it, but because I had a drink or two at the bar, my inhibitions were relaxed for the moment as well - I was not sure if he had noticed or not, but thankfully he said nothing as we walked to his door.

All the time we worked together, I never once imagined engaging with Matt in any flirtatious banter despite the fact he would often display it to me and others in the office. And I was never offended when he would make suggestive comments to me in a friendly attempt to get me to put his jobs ahead of the other account executives work. But now we were in his apartment, alone together, with me, slightly and uncharacteristically aroused. For a moment, I began to wonder if we would regress back to the conversation in the car. His apartment was spacious and clean and I immediately felt very comfortable as I sat down on the couch.

“Do you mind if I take off my shoes”? I asked.

“Not at all, make yourself at home. You can take your pants off too if you like.” He smiled

“Would you like that?” I asked surprisingly.

Matt immediately turned around surprised as well and smiling, gauging whether or not I was just teasing him or if I was serious. I’m not sure what vibe I was giving off as I wasn’t quite sure what I was thinking myself. Just then that cautious, nervous feeling came over me - that feeling of wanting to do something naughty but being too afraid to act and then my thoughts turned inward.

Whoa - what the hell am I doing? I asked myself.This is Matt for crying out loud ... he’s gay, you’re not, I tried to reassure myself.So why am I suddenly having these crazy thoughts, and why am I getting turned on?

Matt returned to his task of the moment which was to go into his room and change into something more comfortable - namely a t-shirt and his bikini briefs. Ion the other hand, tried to push those earlier thoughts out of my head and relax the sexual tension that was building within me as Matt emerged from is bedroom with a pair of pillows.

“PINK BIKINIS? REALLY?” I laughed.“And satiny smooth as well I can see!” I continued.

“Are you staring at my bulge mister?” he jokingly asked.


“It sure looked like it to me for a minute.”

He was correct, I did indeed glance at his package for a brief moment as he stopped in front of me. Putting the pillows down on the couch he continued to stand there, then unexpectedly he spun around like a princess, showing off his underwear, perhaps thinking I would enjoy it, he then asked;

“What do you think? Do you like them?”

“Suuuuure.” I laughed.

“They’re very comfortable, and they hold me in just right,” he said as he again spun around again to face me.

Suddenly, in a very playful and flirtatious move, Matt took hold of the slim waist strap of the underwear and jiggled the contents therein not unlike a male stripper would to a group of horny women. “Woo hoo,” he said just before he sat down next to me and laughed. We continued to laugh and joke around for several minutes in a sexual manner, I suppose he might have been testing my reactions to this behavior, for what reason I don’t know, but I was feeling “giddy” for lack of a better word as the conversation became more serious.

“Thanks,” he said.

“For what?” I asked.

“I know you’re straight and I have enjoyed working with you. You’ve never made me feel uncomfortable in any way. I know I made overtures to you once or twice, not expecting you to reciprocate of course, but you never reacted negatively toward me either and I appreciate that,” he said.

We were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch as he continued and in a show sincerity, he reassuringly placed his hand on my arm and stroked it once or twice. The sensation was, at the very least, pleasurable and I could swear I could sense a growing attraction emanating from him. I was not disturbed in the least, in fact, a strange sense of curiosity began to emerge in me as well. So much so that on some as of yet unrecognized level, I found myself hoping the conversation would continue to see where it might ultimately lead.

I looked at him and smiled as our eyes made contact and held for a moment suggesting that thoughts of an attractive nature were spiraling in our minds. Thoughts I was unaccustomed to, but finding suddenly difficult to push away. I became aware that though I was quite confused, I was nevertheless, outwardly exhibiting signs that signaled to Matt that I might pursue and even welcome the idea of a moment of, for lack of a better word ... physical contact.

“I like to think I have an open mind,” I said. “Besides, I never felt threatened by you in any way either.”

“Not even when we were in the car, on the way here?” he laughed.

I hesitated in my response, because to say no would be a lie. A lie in the sense that though I didn’t feel “threatened” per say, but I did in fact feel “something”. And that something was still lingering and growing.

“Well?” he softly repeated and smiled.

“No, of course not ... I didn’t feel ... threatened,” I said ambiguously.

“Uh Oh...what does that mean?” he smiled and perked up.

“Nothing!” I quickly answered and turned away.

I could see him out of the corner of my eye leaning forward with a smile trying to see my red face and again gauge my meaning.

“I am definitely picking something up!” he said.

“You are quite mistaken young man,” I weakly retorted smiling, turning my face back around, looking down in an obvious attempt to avoid eye any further contact. I was again beginning to feel that nervous, but curious sensation and without a doubt I was becoming even more flustered and aroused.

What the hell is happening to me - what am I doing this - am I actually flirting with him? These thoughts raced through my mind as my heartbeat began to accelerate and with it my breathing.

“What’s the matter?” he softly whispered.“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

I could distinctly hear a bit of genuine concern and also guilt as the question trailed off. It seemed to me that he felt that he was beginning to cross some imaginary line and was worried I would now in fact become hostile toward him.

“No ... not at all,” I said in a sympathetic and reassuring tone.“You are not making me feel uncomfortable - don’t think like that.” I smiled.

Despite my increased breathing, my tone was calm and gentle - though I hadn’t noticed, I was speaking to him exactly as I would speak to a girl in the same situation. A tone that indicated that I was comfortable with the situation and didn’t mind the fact that he was sitting so close or even touching me.

“This is what I was talking about before,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean - here I am sitting next to you on my couch, in my underwear, making a pass at you, and you are being nothing if not nice to me,” he said.

“Most guys like you would have jumped up off this couch and ran out the door by now, not to mention possibly even slugging me in the jaw for such an obvious move - but you don’t. Why is that?”

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hide the sensations swirling through my body and my mind began to reel with dizziness. I was actually extremely flattered that he admitted he was indeed making sexual advances toward me, but in the end, uncertainty took hold.

"I really need to go to sleep if you don’t mind,” I nervously replied.

“Of course you do,” he softly said and smiled.

“I suppose those pillows are for me?” I asked.

“No, they are for me. I’m sleeping out here on the couch.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“I want you to be comfortable. You drove me home and I want you to sleep in my bed, while I sleep out here.”

“I can’t take your be- ...” I said as he interrupted.

“Yes you can and you will - no discussion, it’s yours, don’t argue - besides, it’s a king size.”

“Are you sure?” I again protestingly asked.

“Yes.But before you go to bed, I want to give you something,” he said.

“Whaaaat?” I asked suspiciously looking into his devious eyes.

“Close your eyes,” he said.

“You’re not going to ... you know ... what you said in the car ... ? I surprisingly asked.

“Nooooo! - But I’d certainly like to,” he again joked.

“What? I repeated, shocked and excited by the fact that he, in no uncertain terms, his desire to give me a blow job.

“Just close your eyes!” He laughed.

I humorously obeyed his request and closed my eyes. I could then feel Matt begin to move closer as my heart began to race.

What is he going to do? I thought.

Just then I could feel the warmth of his face near mine. I didn’t need my eyes to know how close he was as I could detect a faint trace of alcohol from his breath. I knew he was very close. But what happened next was something that completely knocked me off guard. For some inexplicable reason I opened my mouth slightly and moistened my lips with my tongue as if in anticipation of a forthcoming kiss. My face remained steadfast in his direction, my heart pounding, my breath quick, but soft.

A moment later I could feel his nose softly touching my face as his mouth drew near to mine, and with that, the question was answered, the mystery had been solved. Everything was revealed to me as his lips softly pressed against mine. Matt was kissing me, if only for a brief moment, he was offering his affection to me and all I could do was return the gesture.

Our lips touched for what seemed like several moments and gently slid over each of the others and then parted for a second. Astonishingly, I moved toward him and again we locked onto each other for a repeat of the first. I couldn’t help but let my tongue slip forward ever so slightly and gently flick his as well and as our lips gently and slowly parted for the final time, he spoke.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” I whispered as I opened my eyes to see his face still so close and his dreamy eyes staring into mine.

“I wanted to do that at least once before you drive away tomorrow and I never see you again. I’ve actually been wanting to do that for a long time,” he confessed.

“You’ve wanted to kiss me ... ? I asked incredulously.

“Does that surprise you?”

“A little,” I said.

“All that time at work, everyday, in the office ... you’ve been wanting to kiss me,” I repeated and strangely, I couldn’t help but to feel slightly flattered.

“Well ... what did you think? That was your first time ... wasn’t it?” he asked.

“It was ... different ... I feel ... I feel ... strange,” I stammered.

There was nothing more I could say at that point, my body was trembling at what had just occurred. Matt had kissed me and I found, much to my surprise that ... I liked it. But I was so very unsure about doing it again and I was a bit frightened as well. How could I have allowed him to do that? And how is it possible that I found it enjoyable - easily as enjoyable as kissing girl for the first time. I was torn at that moment, torn between continuing with this sexual encounter or darting for the bedroom for the night.

There was only one problem ... I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed, not by fear, but for the fact that my penis was fully engorged and protruding. There certainly would be no hiding from Matt now and my plausible deniability would evaporate if he saw my in that state. At least sitting down afforded me the slight ability to hide the truth as a couch pillow covered the evidence, but there was no mistaking it, I was so out of control hard, the embarrassment would have sent me running for the door.

I think he knew I was confused and scared because he backed away and moved over. slightly. As he did, I couldn’t help but notice that he too was in a state of arousal as well and possibly a little embarrassed about it too as he quickly covered himself with one of his pillows.

For several moments we sat in awkward silence, mixed feelings coursing through my head and body. Should I move to kiss him again? Will he even want to, and if so, then what - how far can and will this go, I wondered? The sensation and realization that I had just been kissed by a guy was almost overwhelming and I fought with the urge to continue until the tension had abated enough for me to stand and exit to the bedroom. I paused and turned before entering to say goodnight, Matt replied but didn’t look at me.

I wondered perhaps if he was regretting the encounter and if Ishould stay and talk with him about it. Or perhaps he was feeling a bit of rejection that I didn’t continue. Either way, in the end, I figured it was best to simply leave him be and not worry about it. In the morning perhaps we would simply have a laugh about the whole thing, blaming it on the alcohol - no harm no foul.

The next morning I awakened fairly early by a slight movement on my left side. It was Matt laying next to me quietly. I opened my eyes and turned my head surprised that he was lying next to me.

“What? What’s wrong”? I sleepily asked.

“I’m just wondering how much longer you are going to keep your hand there?” he asked.

It took me a moment or two to process what he was saying.

“My hand?” I asked.

It was at that moment I realized that as I was laying in the bed, I had somehow positioned myself so that my arm and hand was resting mostly on his penis under the covers.

“UHH!” I gasped and removed my hand.

This woke me right up and brought me to my senses.

“Oh Matt, I’m so sorry for doing that! I had no idea I was touching you that way.”

The embarrassment was almost overwhelming, but there was something else as well. I had noticed that when I realized I was touching his penis and moved away, I actually dragged my hand it over its length and could feel its size, girth and hardness. This again caused an uncharacteristic reaction in me as I continued to profusely apologize to Matt.

“Please don’t be angry, I had no idea ... You know that I would never try to take advantage of you like that?” I stammered.“Really! Oh god, I’m so embarrassed ... please forgive me, Matt. The last thing I wanted to do is upset you,” I continued.

“It’s alright,” he said.“I’m not angry at all - don’t worry about it,” he said reassuringly.

“Are you sure ... I, I mean...”

“Stop ... it’s okay, I’m really not angry at all.”

After a few moments, I finally asked the question.

“Well, what are you doing in the bed - I thought you were on the couch?” I said, trying to shift at least some of the blame to him.

“The couch was too uncomfortable and I came in at about 2:30 am. You were all the way over to the other side, so I climbed in over here on this side,” he said.

I then realized that I had in fact, moved during the night to encroach on his side of the bed and it was then that I must have inadvertently encroached a little too much with my hand coming to rest where it did.

“When did you notice my hand was there?” I asked curiously.

“Ooooh - about 5:00 am,” he admitted.

“5:00 am? It’s almost 8:00. Are you telling me that I had my hand on your cock for almost 3 hours?”

“Yes,” he groaned.

“Well why didn’t you wake me or move it?”

“I figured you would eventually move, and I didn’t want to wake you,” he said.

I lay there for a few minutes before turning on my side to face him. Curiously, I had not moved away to put any distance between us, and then it started. That nervous anticipation I had felt the night before and it began to grow, as did something else a little further below under the covers. I could hear Matt huff and puff and turn his head from side to side every few minutes as his inability to go back to sleep continued. I on the other hand, couldn’t help but replay the situation over and over in my mind, reliving that moment I had moved my hand and felt his rock hard cock. This turned me on immensely - as much if not more than the kiss we shard the night before did.

I focused my eyes on him quietly and watched his stomach rise and fall with each breath. He was no longer wearing his t-shirt and I could see for the first time how fit he was. Not overly muscular, but lean, neither did he have any hair on his stomach or chest, and for a second I thought to myself. “I like that.” Again, Matt frustratingly turned his head and breathed in.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I can’t go back to sleep,” he replied.

“Not tired anymore?” I continued.

There was a long pause until he responded, “No ... that’s not the problem.”

“Well .. what is it? I asked.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine,” he said.

“No really, what’s wrong? You can tell me.”

He took a deep breath and I could tell it was something that he was finding difficult to express. I had propped my head up on my hand to get a better look at him.

“What?” I softly repeated.

“You’re going to get annoyed,” he said.

“I promise I won’t ... C’mon ... tell me.”

“I can’t go back to sleep because I’m too worked up,” he finally answered.

“Worked up? What do you mean?” I smiled and asked.

“Worked up. - you know ...”

He then let out a sigh and said, “When you hand was touching me ... I got ... a little ... you know ... worked up.”

“Are you telling me that my touching you has you turned on?” I asked, knowing full well what he meant.

“UM, YEEAAHH,” he said sarcastically.

Now my curiosity really began to pique and for the first time I could feel the tables were turning as far as controlling the situation went. I had turned him on and he was struggling with it. This in fact turned me on even more, filling me with thoughts and desires previously unknown to me. He was struggling with intense sexual feelings that I had induced and yet he was powerless to relieve them. Knowing this also bolstered my courage, allowing me to proceed in a way I thought I never would ... ever could do.

After a few moments his movements and restlessness became a bit more pronounced as is hips slowly began to sway to and fro as well as upward and downward. It was obvious he was thinking something very sexual that involved the use of his penis and he was acting out in such a way as to indicate that he was actually thrusting his cock into and out of something - something warm and wet no doubt. In this case however, it was just the sheets and bedspread.

I lay there smiling motionless watching, my desire growing exponentially and wondering what he could be thinking right then. I knew he wanted some kind of release and wasn’t finding it and for a moment I thought to myself, poor guy - he’s so turned on and there’s nothing he can do.

I actually began to sympathize with him since I had been this frustrated a few times in my life as well and again my thoughts turned inward. What can I do to help him? He’s in so much agony. I then realized, that here I was lying alone right next to Matt, in his bed, watching him become increasingly sexually aroused because of me. Further more I was becoming increasingly sexually aroused myself, adding to the fact that I remained next to him while he did this and probably most importantly, that we had shared a kiss the night before. All of these things began to coalesce into an urge within me to do something ... sexual.

I couldn’t believe what I began to do next as my head reeled with dizziness and confusion, but I pressed on regardless. I slowly slid the covers down and off of his body until it revealed to me the sight of his hard cock stretching the silky pink undergarment to its limit. As I did this I could hear him gasp, stopping his breath momentarily, clearly surprised by the fact that I was doing this.

I again truly wondered what indeed could be going through his mind now. By now, of course I had already made up my mind about what I was going to do. There certainly was no turning back now. Any third person standing in the room and watching would summarily agree that a sexual act between two guys was now underway.

I swallowed hard as my heart was nearly beating out of my chest with nervous anticipation. I watched the thrusting of his cock slowly continue, up and down, and then he slightly moaned and turned his head. I was going to take my time with this, because frankly, the fact that I was now clearly controlling the situation was just as intense as it was with any woman - I mean, it really wasn’t any different. I didn’t think of Matt as a guy at this point, but as a person. A person who desperately needed the touch of another human being - a touch that only I, at that moment, could provide.

Despite my urge to touch, I just continued to watch as his suffering continued. I knew that it was driving him nuts, but I was enjoying it too much to succumb to a quick encounter. I wanted to revel in the fact that he wanted me and that I was denying him. I can’t put into words how much this turned me on. It was so taboo, but so incredibly sexually stimulating - I was going to make him suffer and I liked it.

This was an new sexual experience for me and I wanted it to last as long as it could. Cruel I know, but overwhelmingly satisfying regardless. After all, it wasn’t solely about his pleasure, but mine as well. He would indeed eventually know my touch, but only under my conditions ... he might have to beg for it ... possibly even loudly.

I knew I had to play this right, move things along at a pace that would keep him wanting more without frustrating him to the point of giving in to self fulfillment. In other words, I didn’t want him taking matters into his own hands as it were. In fact he made the effort to do so for a moment, grabbing his cock, but I quickly pushed his hand away, denying him the satisfaction, whispering “No, no mister.” as I did so and smiled. Again he groaned and softly called out my name.

“Yessss,” I deviously replied.

“You’re driving me insane - you’ve got me so turned on, it hurts.”

“Do I now?” I slyly whispered.“And how did I do that, young man?”

“You were touching me while I slept and you know it,” He replied.

“I was completely asleep and have no memory whatsoever of having done so,” I said.

“Besides - if you didn’t want my hand there, you could just as easily have moved it, or told me to move over. You know what I think?” I asked.

"What?” he said.

“I think you left it there because you liked it. That’s it isn’t it? You were enjoying it too much to do anything about it. You WANTED me to touch you ... didn’t you?"

There was no reply.

“Didn’t you?” I repeated.

Finally after another long pause he relented.


There it was, I was in complete control, directing the situation as I willed. And thus began the true foreplay.

“Did you really like it?” I asked softly and slowly.

“Yesssss!” He sighed.

“Were you awake the whole time I was touching you?”


“Were you hard the whole time?”


“Did I make you cum?” I finally whispered.

He paused for a moment and answered in a regretful tone, “No.”

“Really? You didn’t cum? I’ll bet you wanted to though ... didn’t you?" I continued.

“Mmmmm yesssss.” He moaned.

“I’m sorry,” I softly said.

“For what?” he moaned.

“For not finishing the job and leaving you so frustrated.”

Unbeknownst to Matt, as I was torturing him with my seductive questioning, I had slowly moved and positioned my hand so that it was hanging directly above the bulging shape of his underwear. And within a moment more, I let the tip of my index finger slowly make contact with the underside upper tip of his impressive cock and gently slid it down it’s length once and then again. I could see a release of sexual tension as he swooned with pleasure, as if to say ... “FINALLY”.

I continued my gentle stimulation up and around the top underneath side of his penis, the part where the bulbous flanges come together to form the tip. To me this is the most sensitive part of the penis and apparently to Matt as well. I then gently applied slight pressure with my thumb and finger around the head and slid them up and around. I could hear his breathing increase, and I continued in silence. This experience was as intense for me as it was for him and I imagined the sensation, trying to duplicate the feeling I was giving him, in my own mind.

One more gentle squeeze and then it appeared. I was flushed with arousal at seeing it. The clear sticky droplet that had penetrated the fine weave of his silk “panties” I called them, moved me to a new level. I quickly seized the opportunity and lightly swept up the liquid with my fingertip and continued to massage it into the “sensitive spot”. The wet spot was becoming quite large as the liquid continued to ooze out.

I could feel the sticky lubricant on my fingers and the moist cloth could no longer soak up what was emerging. The sound of wet flesh becoming audible with each stroke of my fingers with the occasional stiff reflex reaction to my stimulation - Matt was writhing in sexual agony, completely at my mercy and powerless to stop me.

“What does it taste like?” I asked him, but instead, I removed my hand, bringing my fingers to my lips. With my tongue, I licked them all over and took the taste into my mouth.

“Mmmmm salty - but nice,” I said.

The experience was beginning to wear on me as well and my need for sexual gratification began to manifest in an overpowering way. Without further delay, I placed my hand on his lower abdomen and slid my hand downward until I reached the elastic waist band. This time however, instead of sliding over the top, I lightly wedged my fingers underneath to explore beneath. The panties slowly stretched and gave way to my hand as I worked either side to slide them partially down his thighs releasing his cock leaving it exposed and pointing upward. How fortunate I thought - that will make things a bit easier for me.

At that point I slowly moved toward Matt, covering his body, first with my leg and then my torso. I was directly above his chest and took the opportunity to quickly suck each nipple as I slowly made my way downward kissing him again and again all the way down. I finally stopped with my face just below his vertical cock staring at it intently and admiringly. With my arms draped over his stomach, I positioned them at the base of his shaft, applying just enough pressure to point the erection more my way.

“Do you like the way I touch you?” I whispered.

“It’s better than anything I ever dreamed of,” he said.

“You’ve fantasized about doing this with me?”

“Many times,” he said.

“You have made me cum dozens of times and never even knew it.”

“REALLY?” I said incredulously.

“And just how did I make you cum?” I said seductively.

“With your mouth,” he admitted.

“But I’ve never sucked a cock before,” I said.

“In my dreams you have.” He laughingly sighed.

“Do you dream about me sucking your cock often?” I asked.

“All the time,” he said as I began to close the gap between it and my mouth.

I thought that I was notorious for “leaking” when I was turned on, but that was nothing compared to Matt. The clear liquid continued to ooze out on a steady basis forming more than one long drip trail down the shaft and onto my hands. His cock reflexed again and again, working the juice out of the top and down the sides. This seemed to coincide with when I spoke, I suppose it was because he could feel the warmth of my breath just fractions of an inch away.

“What would you like me to do?” I asked, teasing him even more.

“Would you kiss it?” he said.

“Kiss it!? ... You mean like this?” I replied and moved into contact with the “sensitive spot” with my slightly parted lips. And with that I planted a slow gentle lip smack directly on his cock. I could feel the semen on my lips and I licked them bringing the taste into my mouth. There was something about it that drove me nuts, like an aphrodisiac, I had to have more, I craved it.

“How about a french kiss?” I whispered and then proceeded again to press my lips to his cock. Only this time I engulfed him a bit more, allowing me to take some of him into my mouth while I gently swirled my tongue to and fro. This apparently set him off and he groaned, calling out my name, telling me how much he loved the fact that I was actually doing this.

I had to pause for a moment and reflect briefly on what he had just said. I was in the opening salvo of actually sucking his cock - something I had never even dreamed of doing before ... and no matter how I tried ... I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t realize the trap I had entered. A trap that ensnared me with my own desires which made it impossible to resist or break out of.

Had he known that I was having a sudden and secret yearning for physical contact while we were in the car on the way to his place. Was he able to sense something I could not and move to ignite something within me that I didn’t understand? Was that his plan, to seduce me? Make me think that I was in control of his body, of the sexual circumstances by feigning submission. Was I really the one in control at this point, or did he skillfully lure me in to submitting to feelings I was afraid to explore?

“I don’t care!” I thought. If in fact it were true that he was directing everything that was happening right now, then that just turned me on even more. To know that I was powerless to stop him, that he made me submit to something I was so against ... but was now in fact, loving very much. I then fully surrendered to it.

There was nothing more to do than to pleasure him. It was all I was living for at that moment - nothing else in the world mattered. It was all encompassing and overpowering. If a whole crowd of people had suddenly entered his room to watch, I would have gladly continued, possibly even more turned on for their being there. And with that, I lunged, grabbing hold of him voraciously with my mouth. Matt lurched as I licked, slurped and sucked his cock - we moaned in unison. Him with ecstasy ... me with elation.

Much to my surprise, I found that though sucking his penis was rudimentary, pleasuring him was almost instinctive. That is, I seemed to already have an ability to actually stimulate him orally despite never having done so. I suppose it might have something to do with how I like to be sucked and that seemed to translate quite well for me.

The erotic feelings coursing through me at that moment were beyond description. I could not articulate the feeling of knowing that for the first time, I was engaged sexually with another man. I mean physically stimulating his penis, and not with my hand, but with my mouth.

I could taste his semen with each suck, the salty, viscous liquid helping to lubricate the experience. The more he released, the more I sucked, the taste of it making me want to have ... no, need to have more with each little bit being swallowed. The actual feel of his penis on my tongue, the hard erection but soft warm and malleable skin conforming in shape to the contractions of my mouth, knowing the electrifying sensations I was giving him, made me dream of him doing the same to me. My mouth was at that moment - for lack a of a better word - a vagina and he was fucking it.

There was no fear or guilt, I actually found it very pleasurable, the satisfaction that I was giving sexual pleasure to another human being. Another human who was grateful for my actions and letting me know with each moan – and never once giving a second thought to the fact that it was a man I was doing it to. I began to question in my mind a slight regret of not having done it sooner.

I slowed my pace and began to focus primarily near the upper portion of his cock. I swirled my tongue, tickling the underneath side of the bulbous and swollen head - his body jolted as he gasped, alerting me to the fact that I had just touched the exact spot of sensory input of his penis. I repeated the action exactly with the same result, only this time he moaned incessantly. I then devoted my full attention to keeping him right at that point, seeing how close I could take it while preventing him from the ultimate conclusion.

But something was wrong - it had only been mere moments when Matt exclaimed that I had to slow down before it was too late.

But it was too late. The pulsing wave of liquid expulsion engulfed him as I felt my mouth filling with warm sticky goo, but I still could not stop. He was almost screaming and flailed left and right with each pulse of cum. I would not release him. The orgasm lasted several moments until all of the ejaculate was expelled and swallowed ... but still I would not release him.

His breathing slowed and his body relaxed as if a terrible pressure force that had been building up had finally breached it’s containment and released. He fell back, completely spent and then he spoke.

“OH MY GOD - I have never been sucked so good before! That was unbelievable, I can’t believe how quick you made me cum,” he said with a big smile on his face.

Still, I would not release him.

“You took your time and got me so wet! I couldn’t hold it back! Surely, you’ve done this before - you’ve had to. No one who has never done that could be so good,” he exclaimed.

I said nothing as his cock was still very much in my mouth preventing me from speaking. The hard stiffness subsided a bit, but I was not yet satisfied. I had barely had the chance to actually suck him which left me feeling unfulfilled despite the fact that he had just cum in my mouth. And there was no way I was going to stop now, so I just kept at it. Matt continued with his praise of my efforts as if he were ready to lay back and close his eyes to doze off again, but I was relentless and would not give up. I finally let him slide out with a “pop” sound, but I was so over the edge sexually that I found I just could not stop.

Slowly I moved upward toward his face allowing my body to slide upon his. I could feel the wetness of his cock leaving a trail down my midsection as I moved. I straddled his waist with my cock coming to rest directly upon his.

“This is your going away present,” I whispered.

What Matt didn’t know was that before I climbed on top of him to suck him dry, I had surreptitiously removed my own underwear and was completely naked with him. Suffice it to say he was pleasantly surprised as my wet penis slowly began to slide against his. But what was really turning me on was the very slow, gentle and passionate kiss we found ourselves engaged in. I couldn’t get the kiss we shared the night before out of my mind and I wanted to experience it again.

Nothing was said, it just was, as our lips parted and our tongues met and I felt a rush of passion begin to overtake me. I had never experienced anything like this and it was so emotionally powerful. The intensity and length of each kiss increased with the next and then Matt put his arms around me.

I could feel his hands slide down my back to my bare backside which he began to squeeze with each thrust of my cock against his. It was so warm and wet as I worked the head of my cock exclusively against the same spot on his. I wanted to cum so bad, I could feel our semen mixing and lathering on our cocks as my pace quickened ... I moaned.

“I want you to cum,” Matt whispered in my ear.

This only inflamed my passion and I kissed him deeply again, my tongue is his mouth - he began to suck it.

“MATT!” I exclaimed.

“It’s all right, do it - I want you to!” he panted and squeezed my ass again.

Just then, I felt a very strange sensation that shocked me but stimulated me at the same time. Matt had reached a bit further and was now massaging a very private area with his finger - the sensation was immense and it made my cock even harder, if that were even possible.

He began to apply pressure in rhythm and I could feel the tension on my anus begin to give way to his finger. He was going to insert it which pushed me over the edge. My thrusting increased in speed on his cock, and I tried desperately to hold back the inevitable. Matt was moaning quite loudly as well.

“Oh my god ... I think ... I think, I’m going to ... again,” he yelled.

That was all I needed to hear as my fight to hold back would now end. I could feel him tense up and quiver and a moment later I felt his cock reflexing and pulsing with cum. I had timed it just right as the magic finally overtook me as well. We were both cumming - simultaneously!

I moaned wildly and yelled out his name as I released hot cum all over his cock while his cum lathered over mine.

“Don’t stop! ... FUCK ME! he panted and moaned, taking hold of my face and driving his tongue into my mouth.

“MATT ... I’m cumming! ... you’re making me cum!” I yelled.

“I know ... don’t stop ... please don’t stop!" he said as he kissed me again.

I continued to thrust against him until the wave of pleasure had subsided. With my strength gone I collapsed on top of him, both of us spent physically but very happy ... we laughed.

“Matt, I can’t believe how good that felt.” I panted and closed my eyes.

“You made me cum twice ... I can’t believe that!” he said.

We both laughed again in unison as I rolled off of him to position myself on my back comfortably but still close enough to touch him. I don’t know how long it took before we were both asleep again, but we lay there undisturbed for at least a few more hours. The sleep was blissful as we laid there both of our penises exposed to the cool air, the cum having dried on our naked bodies. I must have been dreaming about the morning of sex I had just experienced as I continued to maintain an erection for quite a while.

At about 11:30 am I awoke again and reasoned that I needed a shower. Matt was still asleep. Quietly and gently I slid out of bed, I was still completely naked and was a little apprehensive about being seen by him despite the fact that I had sucked his cock earlier that morning and then shared a sperm bath with him shortly thereafter. It was an irrational feeling for sure, after all, I had crossed that line with him, there should be nothing more at this point to feel odd about, but I did.

Fear and regret began to encroach and I found myself feeling strange and a little ashamed. I never thought that I would ever engage in a homosexual act ... but now I had. There was no denying it, I had experienced gay sex with my friend and coworker Matt.

How could I have done that? I thought to myself.

What is wrong with me? Why didn’t I leave last night when he kissed me? Why did I actually kiss him back and why did it turn me on so much?

That first kiss, the imagery played over an over in my mind as I climbed into the shower and under the warm spray. I kept visualizing and remembering the tactile sensation of his lips on mine, the feel of his tongue in my mouth and the sexual urges I began to feel. Urges that were again at that moment manifesting themselves.

STOP IT! I snapped in my brain.This was a one time thing that I’ll never do again. It’ll be forgotten and I’ll never speak of it, I reassured myself.

I then closed my eyes and let the water rush over my head and face. I was now feeling very guilty about what happened and despairing a little, but again, my mind returned to that kiss and the feelings began to grow. Not just sexual feelings, but actually romantic ones as well. Matt though not flamboyant, is still somewhat feminine in nature, not annoyingly so, but just right. He is gentle and caring, like a female and the way he interacts with a person, namely me, was as if he was the female, and I responded to it.

The flattery of being the target of one’s affection touched me deeply, despite the fact that Matt is a guy. No matter how I reasoned, no matter how I tried to spin it in my mind, there was no escaping the obvious. And in the end all I could do was to admit it to my self and then accept it ... I was physically and romantically attracted to Matt and I surrendered to the sexual feeling rising in me again.

Just then, the shower curtain slid open and I turned, gasping in embarrassment.

“MATT? ... What are you doing?” I asked and tried to hide my arousal.

“I need a shower too and thought I might join you,” he said as he stepped in.

“Generally I like my privacy,” I said in a slight sarcastic tone.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked.

“Did we do too much, go too far too soon? Have I ruined everything?” he continued.

“No, I’m just as responsible for last night and this morning as you are. I could have pushed you away last night. I could have moved over in bed this morning or simply asked you to take me back to my car ... but I didn’t”

“The truth is ... I’m struggling with the fact that I actually enjoyed every moment of it, and I can’t explain why that is. I’m so confused,” I said.

“About what?” he asked.

After a long pause I answered, “Confused about the way you make me feel.”

“How do I make you feel?” he asked.

I slowly turned around, allowing him to see my current state of arousal. I was completely vulnerable at that point and it was obvious I was in need of a sexual release. Despite the warm water I began to shiver as I explained the strange sensations I was experiencing and how he was the cause of them.

“As of last night I was a straight guy ... now I’m ... “ I paused.

“What?” he asked.

“Now I’m ... Now I’m trying desperately to get out of this apartment, but instead I’m standing naked in your shower with you, dreaming about last night and this morning and being completely unable to get rid of this hard on .. and ...”

“And what?” he softly added.

"And hoping that you’ll kiss me again like you did last night,” I embarrassingly confessed.

Just then he stepped forward so that our bodies were nearly touching, in fact, my cock was protruding outward in such a way that it rubbed against his, the sensation stimulated me further as he spoke ... and then he kissed me.

“I want you to know that I had no intention of keeping your here to make love with you at all, despite the fact that I’ve wanted to for so long. I was really surprised that you offered to drive me home and even more when you decided to spend the night. But what really made me fall for you was the fact that you let me get close,” he said.

The kissing continued with Matt barely getting his words out in between.

“Mmmm ... On the couch, when I was making a pass at you, ... you responded, and that made me extremely happy. .... But I knew I couldn’t do to you what I really wanted to do ... So I just kissed you.”

“When you didn’t pull away, and then actually kissed me back, it was like a dream come true, I wanted you so badly, but I was afraid to tell you," he continued.

As he spoke our bodies pressed together under the water, my heart beating so wildly over his words. Our faces cheek to cheek as his continued to whisper in my ear about how he always fantasized about me and now his wish had come true. All these things reinforced the sexual and romantic feeling I was beginning to have. He then nibbled my ear and placed his lips on my face kissing me gently as he made his way back toward my waiting mouth.

Gently his lips pressed against mine and then his tongue slid into my mouth and I reciprocated. We slowly embraced one another as the kissing quickened and increased. It felt so excruciatingly good, his lips were soft and wet, like a woman but it was his tenderness and passion that moved me and I was flushed with emotion.

A moment later I felt his hand slide down my body and then his fingers slowly fondled my penis. The feeling of being touched by another man was extremely titillating and made me jolt slightly.

“I’m going to give you a blow job,” he whispered and kissed me again.

I sighed, but I did not resist, I didn’t say anything. I just closed my eyes and anticipated the moment Iwould feel him take me into his warm wet mouth. I didn’t have to wait long either. The sensation was just as he described in the car ... with my eyes closed, it really felt no different than if a woman were doing it. But in my mind I knew it was a man, it was Matt, and he knew exactly how to suck me in a way that I could not hope to last long.

The saliva mixed with semen made for a very lubricated experience, his tongue tickling me in the spot that sent pulsing sexual pleasure coursing through my cock and by extension, my entire body. The deliciousness of it, the pain of trying to resist, but it was impossible. No matter how hard I tried, I could not forestall the inevitable. My knees began to buckle as the moment arrived, the wave of orgasm overtook me and I flailed, grasping to balance myself against the wall.

“MATT ... OH GOD, MATT!” I gasped.

The pulsing continued for several moments as I could feel him drain me of my seed, sucking and pulling with such tender ferocity. My sperm, taken from me, stolen through the workings of another man’s mouth. I felt so helpless at that moment ... but I absolutely loved it. I was under his complete control and there was nothing I could do to resist.

Slowly my hardened cock slid from his mouth, the swollen head coming to rest on his lips as he continued to stimulate me with his tongue. Despite having just cum, my sexual rage did not abate as I looked down into his eyes, still gasping for breath. But what came out of my mouth next surprised us both.

“I want you to fuck me,” I said.

The words trailing off but repeating over an over in my mind, and I wasn’t even sure if I had actually said them out load. Matt looked at me with a surprised smile, but did not move.

“Did you hear what I said? ... I want you to fuck me,” I repeated.

“NOW!” I said.

Matt stood up to meet me, our faces close together. I could sense he was a little hesitant, but I wasn’t going to let him out of that shower without feeling his cock inside me. I reached down and grabbed it firmly, he was oozing again and I used it to my advantage, slowly stroking it over and over, keeping him hard while I began to kiss him.

“I want you to fuck me,” I softly said for the third time and then slowly turned around.

We were going to take this slow, there was now way this was going to be a quick bang, but something else. I wanted to pleasure him, I wanted him to use my body, I wanted him to cum, I wanted to feel him inside me. I remembered how good it felt when he touched me back there while we were cock to cock in bed and the feeling turned me on like I’ve never been, only this time it wouldn’t be his finger.

Feeling him close behind me, I placed my hands on the shower wall in front of me, the water pouring down my front side. bending over slightly I slid back a few inches until I could feel it. “It” being his hard wet cock, wet not from the water, but from his semen.

Gently I pushed back a little more and could feel the head gently start to part my cheeks. It slid into the crevice so easily and I began to gyrate to better feel him rubbing against the opening. Up and down it went, slowly but methodically, stimulating me into a full hard on again. Matt placed his hands on my hips and pulled my closer as he began to thrust in and outward. He had not yet penetrated me but, the feeling of being fucked was so intense, I started to moan like a girl. I also started to feel dirty in a good kind of way and let my words come as they would.

“Yesssss ... put it me ... I want to feel that cock inside me!” I said.

I could feel Matt reposition himself to allow his cock a more horizontal approach to me and the opening. He thrust but could not open the door. Again and again, until I could feel it beginning to give way. I relaxed a bit to expedite the insertion. To help him I began to push back myself again and again until ... FINALLY!

I gasped and moaned!

The feeling of him sliding in was so incredible, the hardness of his cock was actually very soft and caused me no discomfort at all. The feeling of his cock up my ass was not only physically stimulating but mentally and emotionally as well. I was being penetrated by a man, fucked like a woman from behind. It felt so liberating to completely surrender and let him have his way with me. I knew I was pleasing him and that also turned me on.

The continued thrusting in and out sent curious sensations from my ass up through my scrotum and into my penis. Without any direct physical stimulation there of, I was still being stimulated, only in a way I never knew I could.

“Oh Matt ... I can’t believe how good this feels.” I panted.“Does it feel good for you?” I asked hopefully.

“YESSSSS! He moaned.

I knew words can cause arousal as well and so on I continued to verbally stimulate the action.

“I never dreamed how good this could be!” I panted.

“How long have you wanted me this way? ... Tell me how long and how badly you’ve wanted me!” I said barely able to get the words out between breaths.

“Tell me how much you’ve wanted to fuck me!”

I continued to arch my back and swing my ass to and fro in an effort to facilitate his ejaculation. His cock was inside me sliding in and out and I could tell be his intense moaning that he was enjoying it.

“I can’t believe this is finally happening.” He panted.

“I’ve wanted you for so long ... I’ve wanted to touch you, to kiss you, to suck your cock and fuck you since we started working together,” he continued.

“Why didn’t you ever take me in the office?” I asked.

“We both worked late together more than once ... I could have sucked you at your desk. ... You could have fucked me on the conference table. Oh Matt, why didn’t you?” I moaned and as imagery of what I had just asked began to play in my mind.

“I never thought you would have,” he replied.

“Look at us now ... I’m in your house and you’re fucking me! You’re fucking me and I’m loving it!” I actually squealed!

The physical feeling of penetration was beginning to overwhelm me. Pleasure centers I didn’t even know I had were being stimulated, my cock was fully engorged and dripping a continuous flow of warm sticky semen, when suddenly I realized that I was again at orgasm’s door. Being made to cum and without even touching my cock, the feeling of being fucked in my ass alone was enough to induce me into ejaculation. I was incredulous!

How can this be? I thought.

“MATT! ... I can’t believe this ... I’m going to cum again ....!” I screamed, my breath all but gone.

And then it happened. Matt knew I was going to blow and at the precise moment reached around with both hands and grabbed my cock. Stroking it wildly and thrusting his cock over an over into me, I began to cum and I couldn’t stop it. Again my knees began to buckle under the pleasure of releasing again, and the feel of his cock in my ass only intensified my loss of strength, I fell to my knees with Matt following my down without missing a beat. I was now face down in the shower, my ass sticking up and outward while Matt continued thrusting. I had no energy left at all, no strength, all I could do was kneel there, bent over that he could continue to fuck me vigorously while I squealed like a girl.

The sex lasted for several minutes as Matt was unrelenting, using me however he wanted while I could do nothing except allow him to continue. I just closed my eyes, taking in the sensation, knowing that I had been made to cum by another man who’s desire and will was to fuck me from behind.

A moment or two later I felt him pull out, knowing that he had not yet ejaculated or experienced an orgasm. I suddenly felt a little concerned and a little disappointed that he had stopped.

“What’s wrong? Why have you stopped?” I asked

“I want you to face me,” he whispered as he slowly sat down in the tub.

Thankfully Matt’s shower bath was one of those extra wide comfort baths so there was plenty of room for me to straddle him which I gladly did. This position was far better than the first and as I lowered myself onto him, I was once again entranced at the feeling of him penetrating me and as before, I became fully erect. I began to ride him in a slow, methodical rhythm, completely lowering myself onto his shaft, plunging his cock further and further into me.

Leaning forward, I grabbed his face, pulling him close to lock into a long and passionate kiss. His tongue was warm and wet as he slid it in and out of my mouth. Our breathing was intense with each smack of our lips and lap of our tongues.

“Do you like being fucked?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied and kissed him passionately again.

I continued my repetitive squat, up and down on his cock as my thoughts turned inward. There was certainly no going back now. I was letting a friend ... a man insert his penis into me and for the life of me, it was so amazingly pleasurable that I didn’t want it to stop. The erotic feelings that came over me were suddenly very effeminate and I found myself not only assuming the role of a woman but acted out accordingly.

Indeed my only desire at that moment was to pleasure my male friend. Indeed I so desperately wanted to make him cum inside of me and I absolutely would not stop until he did. Without missing a beat I arched backward as I pushed down on his cock with renewed vigor, my cock dripping with oozing semen.

How can I make this more pleasurable for him? I thought to myself.What can I do that I’m not already doing to make him cum? I want him to cum so bad!

It didn’t occur to me that Matt’s sexual prowess was such that he could indeed continue for a substantial amount of time, but it was now becoming quite evident.

Just then, I felt Matt lean forward slightly, just enough for his mouth to envelope my penis which he so delicately did. The plunging motion allowed for my penis to thrust inward and outward of his mouth. This was too much for me to take and I felt myself losing control as once again orgasm approached. I wailed like a woman almost to the point of tears. I was being sucked and fucked simultaneously and If I had the energy to scream, there is no doubt that I would have.

Never had I been so sexually stimulated or satisfied in my life. Never had I surrendered to such pleasure and emotion nor would I ever have believed that the plateau of sexual ecstasy rested not with a woman, but with a man. And not just any man, but my friend Matt. He fucked me quite literally to tears as I again felt the pulsing of my cock release what little my body had left, into his mouth. I couldn’t catch my breath as I bellowed his name over and over again.

Just then I felt him stiffen and he began to moan. I summoned what little strength I had left and voraciously drove myself up and down on his cock.

FINALLY! I thought.

And instantly I could feel his cock stiffen over and over again as he moaned with pleasure ... he was cumming. I continued to straddle him and let him thrust as much as he wanted to until the episode ended. Exhausted, I fell forward on to him, our breath, all but spent.

Despite the fact that we had completed the act, I relished in the fact that his penis was still fairly hard and still inserted into me. I loved the feeling of it despite the fact that we were no longer moving, and I wanted it to remain. The water continued to flow over my back as I lay there on top of him, slowly gathering my breath, I closed my eyes and smiled. We must have lay there for a half an hour or more, his penis still penetrating me.

End of Part 1.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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