"So... onto the first consummation," I suggested, pausing for the two men to reposition themselves and sit alongside each other on the couch.  "In this painting, Adam is... er... making love to Stephen.  Am I okay to describe it like that?"

I'd expected Adam to haughtily inform me that one man doesn't make love 'to' another but rather that their sex is collaborative and their love fully reciprocal.  Or some variation on that general theme.

But instead Stephen giggled and surprised me by blurting out, "Oh come on... can't we just call it 'butt-fucking'?  I mean, that's what we're going to do... fuck each other's butts."

"Sweetheart, we're talking about our wedding night!" Adam cooed.  "It's our special joining... the fulfilment of our vows!"

"Yeah, I know... and it's going to be a really amazing experience for us both.  But ultimately, you're going to fuck me up my arsehole and then I'm going to fuck you up yours.  So why not just cut to the chase and call it what it is?"

I suppressed a chuckle.  I was so pleased that Stephen had opened this can of worms rather than me.

"You make it sound crude," Adam argued.  "It's a very beautiful moment... the connecting of our bodies."

"And it still will be!  I'm just suggesting that when we're describing to Michael how we want him to paint the two stages of our consummation, it'll be quicker and clearer if we just say which of us is fucking the other up the bum!"

"It would indeed be rather less confusing," I chipped in.  "Referring to it as your 'special joining' and 'anal union' is very poetic, but I would appreciate a little more clarity."

"Very well," Adam nodded.  "In that case painting four is to show me fucking my new husband up his rather gorgeous butt."

Stephen chuckled.  "So Michael... I don't know how much you know about gay anal sex...?"

"I certainly wouldn't claim to have an encyclopaedic knowledge," I admitted.

"Well, to get my bum used to Adam's cock, we have to start out looking kind of... well... inelegant, I guess you might say..."

"Inelegant?" I asked.  Was this going to be something about shit again?

"Yeah... I need to loosen up... relax my muscles to receive him..."

"Oh, I see," I muttered, not really seeing at all.

"I have to squat really low and push my bum right back," Stephen explained, standing up and bending almost double so that his arsehole was yawning open like the mouth of a deep dark cavern.  Adam stood up behind him with his big cock looming forwards towards the hole that his fiancé was so immodestly offering.

He went on, "Adam will enter me in this position until my backside is used to his length and girth.  Then we'll get on the bed together and make love properly."

Adam nodded.  "It takes about a minute and is fairly standard in same-sex coitus when the man penetrating is... well... as generously endowed as I am."

"I see."  I wouldn't like having to go through a palaver like this every time I fancied a shag.

Stephen smiled up at me, still bending so low that his face was going purple.  "I'm just telling you this because we really don't want you to paint us having sex like this.  Some men like the position but for us it's purely functional."

I asked, "So how is this... er... 'pre-fuck'... if I can call it that... different from your love-making?  How will I recognise the part you want me to depict in the painting?"

"The two things are completely different," Adam snapped.  "Our actual consummation will express our love and our passion."

"Perhaps it would be clearer if you show me," I suggested, thinking they would get on the couch together and pose for me their more sensual way of making love.

But Adam interpreted my request differently and nodded, "Well, I suppose you might as well see it sooner rather than later."

He stepped forwards, grabbed Stephen firmly by the hips, and then to my amazement started pushing the head of his huge hard-on into his bent-over buddy's butt-hole.

"It resists a little at first," he told me, as matter-of-factly as he would if he was showing me how to screw a nut onto a bolt, "but once the fat tip of it's through, the shaft generally slides up nicely."

Stephen gasped, "Aw yeah..." as his arsehole stretched at full gape to receive his future groom's bloated helmet.

"This is why the rimming needs to be very thorough," Adam smiled at me as the ridged base of his mushroom slurped through Stephen's straining ring.  "It not only excites us both, but it means one doesn't have to hunt around for a tube of lube."

Adam's long shaft performed as he'd indicated and slid more easily up into his fiancé's bowels now that the head was inside.

Stephen called out, "Oh Jesus!" and then let out a powerful fart.

Adam chuckled, "You should expect some very boisterous flatulence when two men are occupying the matrimonial suite!"

I managed to mutter, "I hadn't really thought -"

"With your navy background," he went on, still sliding his cock up Stephen's arse, "I'm sure you're not offended by a good, loud man-fart!"

"I just never heard one during sex..."

"Well you'll hear some absolute blasters on our wedding night!" he chortled.  "It will signify to our guests in neighbouring rooms that the consummation is underway!"

"It's also one of the reasons for the 'pre-fuck', as you called it," Stephen panted breathlessly up to me as his butt let out another rip-roarer, struggling to accommodate the huge intrusion.  "It gets the unpleasantness out of the way before we make love properly."

"Farting isn't unpleasant, honey!" his husband-to-be laughed.  "It's a celebratory trumpeting to announce our love-making!"

"Adam likes a noisy blow-out when we enter each other!" Stephen grinned at me.  "It makes discreet sex when we're staying over with friends just about impossible!"

"Okay, so I just hold him by the hips," Adam said, returning to showing me how he loosens Stephen's bum up, "and start sliding slowly in and out."

He withdrew a good six or seven inches of his cock from his companion's arse and I saw what he'd meant earlier when he'd referred to 'a certain amount of smearing'.  He drove it slowly back in and Stephen let out another extremely loud fart.

"Bend lower, sweetheart," he muttered to his betrothed.  "And open your legs wider... let me grind you a little..."

Stephen did as Adam instructed and contorted his body so that his entire anatomy was directed towards presenting his rear for his partner's cock to impale.  Adam grabbed onto him more firmly and started driving himself with more force and vigour through the straining sphincter that was slowly growing used to his girth.  He swivelled his hips to make sweeping corkscrews inside the tightly-stretched arsehole, causing a few final gassy outbursts as the rectum was readied for the full-on fuck.

"Are you sure you don't want me to paint you like this?" I asked.  "The two of you look... well... quite extraordinary!"

"Absolutely not!" Adam asserted, now pumping his cock quite quickly in and out of Stephen's reddening arsehole.  "I imagine this is how the men on your ship used to couple up...?"

"Well, sort of," I nodded.  "Certainly one man was standing up holding the hips of the other who was bending over."

Stephen called up from where he was bent double, "It's the crudest way to have anal sex... it's how men do it in public toilets.  We really don't want our friends to see us like this."

"But you look so incredible together!  The way your whole body is focussed on receiving your lover's cock... your new husband towering over you... his buttocks flexing as he thrusts..."

Adam grinned at me.  "You're welcome to make a few sketches of us warming up like this... perhaps compose a private painting for yourself... if that's something you'd enjoy..."

"You know... I think I would..."

"Can you paint one-handed?" he asked with a smirk.

I smiled back, by now willing to concede that I have been known to masturbate while painting my more interesting compositions.  "All of my best pieces are painted one-handed."

"Maybe you could show me your technique during my solo sitting?"

"I paint alone," I told him, although I admit to feeling a certain amount of interest in painting Adam posed naked and masturbating, with my own smaller cock out through my fly receiving a vigorous tugging of its own.

Then Stephen called up, apparently oblivious that his fiancé was flirting with the artist, "If you do paint us like this, you can't show our faces, okay?"

I nodded.  "Yes... of course."

"How's your bum doing, honey?" Adam asked his groom-to-be.  "Feels like you're just about ready."

It occurred to me that if I needed to prepare my wife for sex like this, the two of us would probably have been celibate for years.

"Yeah... I think I'm good to go!  Let's move across to the couch and show Michael how we want our fourth painting to look..."

To my surprise, the two of them stayed joined together and started lumbering across to the couch with Adam still holding Stephen by the hips.  They tottered forwards like some ungainly four-legged creature, their two bodies awkwardly pivoted by the cock lodged fully up the arse in front of it.

"My God!  Look at you both!" I cried out, my face in awe at the sight of this strange double-man.

"Yes, we're not at our most graceful when we're waddling around like this!" Adam laughed.

"You look... just so... I don't know!  I've never seen anything like it!"

Stephen pushed himself up but stayed bent forwards.  His cock bobbed upwards, fully swollen and excited, while his balls dangled down between his two splayed thighs.

He grinned over at me and asked, "Do you mean that in a good way or bad way?"

"The best way possible!" I exclaimed.  "You look absolutely magnificent!  Two men joined together and walking around as one!"

They reached the couch and Stephen was about to climb onto it but I wanted to see more of their eight-limbed cavortions.  "Please... walk around some more... let me see how remarkable you look!"

Stephen chuckled and led Adam off around my studio, his lover's cock held tightly within the grip of his buttocks.  They giggled as they lurched about with their arms flapping wildly, staggering clumsily forwards with Stephen's erection out front raised high and waving from side to side.

"Promise us, please, that your studio door is locked," Adam said, as Stephen guided their two connected bodies behind the chair I was sitting on.  "I really don't want anyone else to see us like this!"

"Yes, it's locked," I chuckled, swivelling around to watch them staggering wide-legged like an oversized crab.  "But believe me... your appearance is nothing short of spectacular!"

"Material for another private painting?" Adam grinned.

"Definitely!" I smiled back.  "Faces obscured, of course."

"You can paint my face," Adam told me.  "Just obscure Steve's... or how about you paint your own face in place of his?"

He laughed at how red his suggestion made me blush.  I could see in my mind's eye the painting of the two of us lumbering around: me out front with my little erection poking forwards, Adam right behind me with his much bigger cock plugged in tightly between my two dumpy cheeks.

I thought I'd better nip this one in the bud.  Why the hell was this guy flirting with me in front of the bloke he was about to tie the knot with?

I said, "Look... I admit to enjoying watching the two of you like this but I really wouldn't want to paint myself in either of your places."

"Sorry," he smiled, "I was just being silly."

They reached the couch again and this time I let Stephen climb onto it.  Adam followed him, his knees bent and legs splayed so that their two joined bodies took on the appearance of some huge arthropod clambering about.

"I suppose if the two of you become disengaged at this point, you need to start the... er... 'pre-fuck' from the beginning again."

"Not really," Stephen said.  "My bum's grown used to the size of his cock by now but it's more comfortable for us both if we stay locked together until orgasm."

As they positioned themselves on the couch, adjusting how their knees were placed and whose legs would go on the inside, Stephen asked, "Michael, did you really think we look amazing wandering around with Adam's cock up my butt?"

"I did," I nodded, starting a rough outline of what would be their marital bed while they readied themselves for me to sketch their first consummation.  "If I was gay, I'm sure I'd enjoy having fun with my... er... husband like that."

"You'd walk around like that together?" Stephen giggled.

"I think I would," I chuckled, drawing in a line to show the floor so I could maintain a sense of proportion.  "I imagine that with a bit of practice, two men could become quite co-ordinated moving around together as one four-legged organism."

"Maybe we should walk down the aisle like that," Stephen chortled over his shoulder to Adam.  "I think your dad would curl up and die!"

"We'd have to have your suit adjusted," Adam chuckled back.  "Have a hole cut in the seat of your trousers wide enough for my cock to slide through!"

I found myself laughing too, enjoying their sense of fun.  If they brought some of this frivolity to the day itself, their two-groom wedding was likely to be quite different from all the others I'd known.

Stephen fell forwards on all-fours so that, with Adam upright behind him and reaching forwards to hold him by the hips, the two men looked almost like a cliché of homosexual lovemaking.

Stephen grinned over at me.  "Do you like how we look?  We're very proud to assume this position... it's so traditional... so classical..."

"Well, yes... but that's the problem with it," I mused.  "It is very... how should I put it... it's the absolute epitome of 'gay'."

"Why is that a problem?" Adam retorted, throwing me a stern glare.  "What's wrong with us looking gay when we're having gay sex?"

"It's a problem because it's going to be difficult to compose the painting in a way that avoids your very beautiful lovemaking appearing like a... well... the sort of lewd cartoon you see scrawled in a bus shelter."

Adam's expression softened.  I'd won him over by including 'very beautiful'.

"But like Adam explained earlier," Stephen began, "this position... while it's like a schoolboy caricature of gay sex... actually holds a lot of importance and significance for us."

"Men are shown making love like this in a broad range of historical artwork from around the world," Adam went on, straightening himself up as if proud to be kneeling behind his lover bending forwards in front of him.  "The Ancient Greeks always showed homosexual sex being performed like this, not to mention Chinese manuscripts... Egyptian parchments..."

"We're continuing a very honourable tradition," Stephen smiled.  "We want this to be our first consummation as a sort of nod to all the men who enjoyed it before us!"

"I see..." I nodded, envisioning a painting that looked little better than cheap gay porn.  "I just worry that I'm going to make your sex look so crass... so stark..."

"Stark or not," Adam snapped, "this is how we're going do it!  We'll be proud to look back at ourselves on our wedding night making gay love in the most classical of ways!"

I realised that this was somehow a political thing for them and even though I couldn't understand it I was going to have to make it work.

I stood up and looked at them first from behind and then in front.  "Okay... if I paint you from behind, I can't show either of your cocks..."

"Our cocks have to be visible," Adam insisted.  "That's non-negotiable."

"And if I paint you from the front, I can show Stephen's cock but his hip will conceal yours, Adam."

"Both cocks have to be visible.  We're butt-fucking as two large and excited men.  That has to be very clearly shown in all its unequivocal glory."

I sat back down and picked up my sketchpad again.  "In that case, I'm going to have to paint you side-on but I really am going to run the risk of producing something that you're going to find... well... tawdry..."

I expected Adam to have a go at me for suggesting that their lovemaking might look tawdry, but instead he nodded and said, "Surely you've painted heterosexual grooms consummating their marriages from behind... brides who were pregnant... a little overweight?"

I nodded and he went on, "So how did you avoid their wedding night paintings looking tawdry?

"Mostly the way I've just said... by changing the angle of perspective.  Sometimes I've played with darkness and shadow to make the sex more subtle, but since you want both of your erections to be apparent..."

"Come on, Michael... hurry up and think of something!" Stephen grinned over.  "He's losing his stiffie up my butt which feels kind of weird!"

I smiled back at him.  "Okay...

"How do you mean?" Adam asked, slowly sliding his cock in and out of his fiancé's arsehole, presumably to harden it back up.

"You mentioned that you own a fragment of Greek pottery showing young men indulging like you are?"

"It's in our living room, yes..."

"How about you email me a photo of it and I include it in the piece?  Show it hanging on the wall behind you so the viewer understands why you chose such a classical way to enjoy your first marital intercourse."

"I love it!" Stephen beamed across it.  "We could send you some other pictures too... different couples from different cultures and times all making love exactly like we will be on our wedding night!"

"Pictures of etchings... carvings," Adam added, now working up a steady rhythm against Stephen's bum.  "Not pornographic photos, you understand."

"I understand fully," I agreed, starting to work on outlining their bodies on the sketchpad.  "This could actually turn out to be a very exciting piece.  Referencing homosexual culture... showing your respect for your forebears by making love together as they did..."

"Oh, I really like the sound of this!" Stephen laughed, working his body back against his lover's quickening thrusts.  "It's going to be such a special painting... it might end up hanging above our mantlepiece!"

I smiled.  "And, of course, you're adding your own personal twist to the classical pose with the inclusion of a little... er... rear smearing... I assume you still want me to emphasize that in the piece?"

"Oh yes... absolutely," Stephen grinned over at me, now pumping his arse against Adam's hips to make loud cracking sounds.

"But the overall theme of the piece is one of intense pride," Adam reminded me.  "I mount my husband the way that men have known their closest companions since time immemorial, and our bearing and expressions should convey our honour and respect."

Their butt-fuck grew faster and loudly, and Stephen kept pushing himself upright so that he could swivel his face around to kiss Adam on the mouth.

"You know, I don't really need you to make love properly," I told them, sketching the broad curve of Adam's strong back and his wonderfully powerful buttocks.  "I can make my drawings without any actual sex..."

"It'll be better to show you our movement... our muscles," Adam grunted, now holding Stephen's hips tightly and slamming his big cock in furious strokes in and out of his bum.

"You'll need to see our pacing... how we work together," Stephen agreed, reaching down to frantically wank himself off as his arse was so roughly pounded.

"Well, I'm going to need you to bend forwards, Stephen," I told him.  "If you want me to paint you in the classical position, you're going to have to stay in that position while I sketch you."

I realised I sounded like a disgruntled teacher.

Stephen stopped wanking and fell forwards again, supporting himself with both arms.  Adam took his hands from his hips and moved them up to grab him by the shoulders, prompting another rebuke from me.

"Come on, Adam.  You've got to hold him by the hips.  I can't draw his back if your elbows are in the way!"

This was becoming surreal.  I had two guys shagging like a pair of rabbits in front of me and I was talking to them like they were a pair of naughty boys!

They got back into the agreed position and kept fucking hard and rough.  I liked how their sweat was trickling down from their armpits - I'd have to include that in the final piece - and how Adam's big balls were slapping up against the backs of Stephen's thighs.

I sketched the line of Stephen's spine, noticing how he arched his bottom up high to align his rectum to receive the hammering cock.  It gave his whole back a very pronounced curve which I would use to show how he was giving himself to Adam and, of course, greatly enjoying being fucked.

I was reminded of once seeing a couple of cats having sex.  The female had arched her back in a similar way to Stephen on being mounted by the tom.  I jotted 'cats' at the side of my sketch to ponder further whether I could use the observation to somehow enhance the piece.

"Fuck yeah!" Adam growled as he pummelled his future groom's backside as hard as he could.

He turned to me and leered.  "You gettin' all this down, mate?!  You like seein' how a big bloke like me fucks his hubby up the arse?!"

I was wondering how I should reply when Adam's cock went into overdrive and he started gasping and whimpering.  Stephen grinned over at me, apparently amused that his fiancé was panting and growling behind him and ramming his cock in long powerful lunges as deep as he could into his arsehole.  I found myself smiling sheepishly back at him as he received another man's seed up into his bowels, unsure of how one should react in such a situation.

Eventually, after a long series of animalistic grunts and an involuntary fart, Adam muttered, "Jesus... I think I had a bit of a rush of precum..."

"Oh, get real, you div!" Stephen laughed.  "I think Michael's been around enough to know when a guy has just blown his nut!"

Adam looked over at me.  "I'm really sorry, Michael.  I didn't expect to actually jizz.  I just... well... I guess lover-boy's butt just feels too good!"

I smiled.  "Well, I've got the sketches I need so you can disentangle yourselves.  I'm quite sure this one's going to be a very moving piece for anyone who knows anything of the history of gay culture."

Adam pulled his cock out from between Stephen's buttocks and I looked with fascination at the sheer amount of semen covering its shaft and glooping in thick gushers out of the vacated arsehole.  I passed the two of them some tissue and they laughed merrily together at how much they'd just enjoyed the sex they'd had.  I watched them, smiling, and found myself wondering if I'd ever been so playful with my wife after we'd made love.  I thought I probably hadn't, not even in the early days.

"So what did you think of gay lovemaking, Michael?" Adam grinned, soaking several tissues as he wiped the copious discharge from the big bell head of his cock.  "You've got to admit it's a step up from watching your shipmates using each other's bums to get by?"

"I didn't deliberately 'watch' them, Adam," I laughed.  "I only happened to walk in on it a few times... but yes... the two things were incomparable.  The two of you were both responsive to each other... you worked together as a couple.  As you said, you were making love together, rather than one man using the grip of another's anus to essentially masturbate himself."

"Oh yeah... nice way of putting it," Stephen smiled, wiping his arse with a wad of tissue.  "I never really thought of sailor sex like that... I suppose it is more like masturbation, isn't it?"

He studied Adam's cum on the tissue he'd just wiped his bum with and then reached forwards for some fresh to clean himself off some more.  I was surprised by the colour of the semen on the tissue he'd just discarded: instead of being more or less white like the spunk I'd seen squirting from many a groom's cock, Adam's extremely abundant outpouring had the colour of milky coffee.

I looked over at Adam who was now wiping his ball juice from the softening shaft of his cock and realised from the darker streaks he was struggling to remove, where the discolouration had come from.

I said, "I notice that the semen resulting from anal sex isn't white."

Adam shrugged and nodded.  "No, it's usually anything from a sort of magnolia beige to... well... hot chocolate!"

"You said that the semen from both of your consummations plays a very important role in the sixth painting..."

"Yeah, the post-orgasm piece," Stephen grinned.  "We want our cocks covered in it... our butts oozing with it... thick gobs of it splashed all over us and the bed!"

"And do you want it to look white... or do you want me to show it more realistically?"

Adam paused in his clean-up, his cock now really drooping downward but maintaining its impressive size.  "That's actually a really good question... we never discussed the colour of our spunk..."

"White on our cocks and bodies to show the purity of our bond," Stephen chuckled, still wiping his bum with his cock raised high and expectant in front of him.  "But for anyone who looks between the two grooms' legs there'll be a rich chestnut froth pouring out of our arseholes!"

"Ugh... that's gross!" Adam laughed.  "It'll look like we're relaxing after our wedding night sex by basically shitting ourselves together on our bed."

"It won't look like that at all!  It'll look like butt-cum and it'll show that we've just finished fully inseminating each other!"

I coughed and cut in, "It's a very important piece and I think Adam's right to suggest we minimise any risk that it looks disgusting.  The connection between the whiteness of the semen and the sanctity of the bond is quite a common one in post-coital pieces so I suggest we stick to that, with perhaps a few darker flecks being visible on the anal discharge for those who would know it would be inaccurate not to show it."

"Yeah, good idea," Adam nodded.  "Our friends will know that butt-cum is rarely white!"

They stood in front of me, Stephen's cock standing fully erect and Adam's cock flopping down over his nuts and starting to shrivel.

I said, "I can probably leave the sketches for painting number five until your wedding night.  I assume you're going for a similar configuration, only with Stephen... er... bringing up the rear, as it were."

"No, we want a spooning pose for that piece," Stephen smiled.  "Kind of like doggy, but we'll both be upright and kissing."

"Like you were when I... er... intervened just now?"

"Yeah, just like that.  But showing my cock up Adam's butt and the two of us in the middle of a really explosive climax."

I felt a surge of disappointment.  Their position was too different from the sketches I'd just drawn.  I was going to have to get them to pose again.  At this rate I wasn't going to get home tonight much before nine.

"Very well," I said, mustering up as much fake enthusiasm as I could.  "In that case, I'll make us all a cup of tea while the two of you prepare yourselves for the fifth painting."

I went through to the little kitchenette which adjoins my studio and switched the kettle on to start making us a brew.  I'd expected that Adam and Stephen would get into their chosen spooning position together on the couch, with perhaps Stephen using my absence to coax his lover's cock hard again ready for me to make my sketches of them feigning the point of their mutual orgasm.

However, when over the roar of the kettle I heard the blast of an extremely powerful fart, I realised that the two men were preparing themselves in a more involved way.

I walked back through to the studio, intending to tell them that actual penetration really wasn't necessary for these preliminary sketches, but when I saw Adam bent fully forwards with Stephen slowly working his now extremely excited cock up his arse, all I could manage was a stupefied, "Wow!"

The bigger, more assertive man was being penetrated by his younger and less imposing lover, and it made for a truly sensational sight.  Adam offered his bulky, muscular rump to Stephen with delighted eagerness, and I noticed that his cock, while still hanging low between his legs, was starting to bulk up again as it slowly came back to life.

He let rip with another roaring fart and the two men giggled together as the smaller man's cock slowly slid into the huge puckering arsehole.

"Adam's farts are really, really loud," Stephen laughed across at me, perhaps a tad unnecessarily.  "If the second consummation starts at about four in the morning, I reckon his arse is going to wake up the whole hotel!"

"I'll be pleased if it does," Adam declared, just as his backside gave out an almost deafening discharge.  "It's a beautiful moment for us both... why shouldn't our guests hear me heralding that it's underway!"

"Won't you be embarrassed?" I asked.  I'd have been mortified if our guests had heard me farting on my wedding night.

"Why should I be?" Adam asked.  "Our friends and family will hear that we're joining as one for the second time of the evening.  Those who know us well will also know that I'm the much louder partner when it comes to our coitus."

He let out another raucous back-blast and then gasped, "Aw... yeah!  The feel of your cock is getting me hard again!"

I watched his big cock slowly rising upwards again, growing thicker and longer as Adam responded to the feel of his future husband's manhood slowly pushing up into his bum.  Stephen reached forwards and held Adam tightly by the shoulders, using them as leverage so that he could drive his thick girth as deep as the twin bulges of his balls would let him.

"You look stunning like this," I told them.  "Showing you connecting your bodies together would make a really arresting painting!"

"Honestly, no," Stephen grinned, swirling his cock round and round to fully open Adam's sphincter.  "A couple we know, Matt and Paul, had their consummatory painting done with two of them in this position... Matt taking Paul's cock.  I thought it looked cheap!"

"Was that the set with the jockstraps?" Adam grunted up from where he was bent fully over.

"Oh yeah," Stephen chortled, now sliding his cock back out of Adam's hole, oblivious to the unpleasant colour smeared down the shaft.  "In the first painting, they had their wedding suits laid out next to them on the bed and they were clinking their champagne glasses together wearing a pair of jockstraps!  I mean, what the hell was that about?"

Adam laughed back.  "Were we, like, supposed to think they'd got married wearing these two massively bulging jockstraps under their suits?  And if they did, why?"

I wondered if other gay couples were so bitchy about each other's wedding paintings.  Whether Matt and Paul, or some other pair of men, would privately ridicule Adam and Stephen for choosing the set of paintings I was about to produce.

Adam's arse let out a much more modest hiss of gas and he announced, "I reckon I'm ready, bud!"

He pushed himself up a bit so that his cock, now huge again, bobbed up in front of him.  Then they started waddling across to the couch joined together at the hip, this time with Adam's great erection out front, swaying from side to side as it led the way.  

Adam giggled over at me, "You love watching us tottering around like this, don't you?"

"I really do!" I admitted, chuckling at how amazing they looked.  "It's like you're one big creature... your cock is sort of feeling its way forwards like some enormous proboscis!"

Adam guffawed and wagged his huge hard-on from left to right.  "It's sensing something... which way does the four-legged man need to go?"

The thin slit at the tip peered around as the long stalk behind it swung around from side to side, before Adam thrust it forwards pointing towards the couch.  "Target located!  Come on, we're heading this way!"

Stephen roared with laughter and said, "See if we can co-ordinate our movements... okay, so right leg, left leg... right leg, left leg..."

They lumbered forwards, moving their legs in unison and swaying their arms up and down for balance.

"You're like a centipede," I chortled.  "Well, a small part of a centipede..."

"We should get some buddies to plug in behind us," Adam grinned as he clambered onto the couch.  "See how many blokes we can get moving together at once..."

"Aw yeah!" Stephen laughed, taking care not to slip out from between his buttocks as he followed behind.  "Not exactly an activity for our wedding night, but a good game for a weekender!"

"I really don't want to think about that," I laughed, finding myself drawn to do the exact opposite.  "I think I'll go and set our tea to brew while the two of you get into the position you want for painting number five."

As I took three cups out of the cupboard, I wondered why I was rather enjoying seeing these two men having sex in their different ways.  I wasn't turned on as such, although I admit I'd grown a semi when Adam had offer me a sniff of Stephen's backside, but I was finding this far more interesting than I might have imagined.  A part of me - a small part but a very audible voice in my head - was wishing that I'd played around more with my crewmates in the navy.  I couldn't help but wonder how exciting it might have been to have tried doing some of the things that these two men were showing me.

I put three teabags in each of the cups and then I thought, fuck it, let's use the teapot.