"I'm gonna cum, honey! I'm cumming- ahhh!"
Loi tensed his whole body, holding himself stiffly before rolling off and collapsing on the mattress beside me. I carefully pulled the condom off of his penis and got up to throw it away. I didn't cum before he did, which means I wouldn't cum at all; when he cums, he's finished with sex. It's okay, sex isn't everything, he loves me very much, but I have accepted that making love just isn't as satisfying as I'd like it to be.
Every time is the same. We start kissing, and then he goes down on me, using his fingers and his mouth until I am wet on my own. If he does it long enough, I cum from the contact with my clitoris, but usually he only does it long enough to be able to crawl on top of me and penetrate me comfortably. Then he will thrust with his hips, holding his upper body close to me until he is ready to pop. I know that's about to happen when he raises his upper body up by his arms, tells me he's cumming, and gets stiff as a board while he fills the condom. It's the same every time, but hey, at least I usually get sex more than once a week.
But, oh how I'd love some variety. At least every once in a while.
I met Loi through family connections when I was 15 and he was 18. Vietnamese families always breathe a sigh of relief when their children are dating other Viets, and so our families offered nothing but encouragement when we started to see each other. By the time I was 17 and a senior in high school, we were engaged. Loi got through college in three years, and upon graduation we got married and moved into a condo. Childhood was over, married adulthood was in full swing. He found work with a software company and I found clerical work, but with the economy the way it is I got laid off after only a few months. I found myself among tens of thousands of other entry-level clerical applicants in the Bay Area, so I resigned myself, for the time being anyway, to the life of a homemaker.
Loi enjoyed it; I think he liked the idea of having a "kept woman", never having to help clean anything since I did it out of boredom during the day, and having hot meals waiting for him when he got home from work. He was very caring, but not very affectionate. Aside from sex, he never really went out of his way to make me feel desirable. I knew he loved me though, so I tried not to let it hurt my feelings.Our plan was to wait two more years before having children so that we could save as much money as possible beforehand, and in the meantime, because the pill was so harsh on my body, we would use condoms. I admit that even though the idea of having kids scared the hell out of me (was I even close to mature enough for that at 19?), there were times that I wish we didn't wait just so the monotony of my life would be broken.
Looking out the living room window, between the thick, leafy branches of a tree and the edge of a nearby building, I could see a sliver of the bay- a strip of deep blue below the light blue sky.
"I wonder how long it would take to walk down there" I thought to myself, turning my eyes to the TV in time to see another hysterical contestant barreling towards the stage onThe Price is Right
. The house was already clean, and the only load of laundry I had to do was now in the dryer. I couldn't stomach the thought of another eight hours of sheer boredom. I slipped on my flip flops, grabbed my sunglasses and keys, and walked out the door, determined not to stop until I got to the bay shore.
About halfway through the thirty minute walk to the waterfront, walking downhill, I have to pass through a slightly more downscale neighborhood from the one where Loi and I live. It's not dangerous, at least it doesn't feel that way, and for a petite 19-year old girl, that counts for something. In fact, you can only really tell that the income levels drop by the presence of more bars on windows and more parked cars that look like they haven't been in running order for a while.
I am not a tease and do not flaunt my body, but in late July on the east side of the bay, it's just too hot to cover very much up, especially if much time is spent outside. My walk, where along the way I could window shop, people-watch, shop for fresh fish, and daydream, became a regular part of my routine. I went twice that first week, then three times the next. The third time I made the walk, I heard a voice call out to me from the deep shade of a front porch.
"Hey sexy, who airlifted you into this 'hood?"
I froze, even stopping in my tracks for a second, before looking over while I kept walking.
"Keep comin' round here you gonna make all the other bitches jealous, girl!" he said, leaning on the porch rail in a muscle shirt and ball cap. He had a dark tan, making his white shirt almost look purplish in the shade against his skin, and a wide smile. He was cocky; I didn't know how to react, I was conflicted. I should have just ignored him, but for some reason I could not.
"Just walking to the bay," I answered, starting to look over my shoulder as I passed.
"What's there baby? Nothin', that's what. Come on up here, have something to drink, cool you off."
"No thank you" I answered with a smile and a sing-song voice that I didn't even intend.
"What's your name, baby?" he yelled after me.
He yelled something else but a passing car kept me from understanding it. I kept walking, feeling butterflies inside and wearing a huge grin. That was fun. I felt wanted, if only for a minute. I was the one that left him wanting. I was alive, and I felt sexy; and not just as a release for Loi.
The monotony was broken.
I always walked the same route and at similar times- about half the time the muscled, cocky guy on the porch was there. His name was Trey. Sometimes he would come out to meet me, and walk with me for a few blocks, chatting me up. I was so disappointed whenever he wasn't there, but always refused to stay and hang out with him and his friends when he was. I liked the chase, but I had a husband and I had morals. Even so, that didn't stop me from touching myself at night, thinking about his deeply-tanned skin, or my fingers running over the contours of his muscles. I thought about him when I made love with Loi too, imagining a stronger hand, a more sculpted body, and, yes, a larger penis to please me with. I loved the fantasy because it was harmless.There was no danger of anything more- at least not at first.
My chats with Trey became more frequent and more flirtatious. I also noticed that his friends were just as cute as he was, and sometimes they talked to me too. One day I passed the house and saw him on the porch with his friends. They didn't notice me, and after a few days of passing the house and not seeing him at all, I decided to walk up and say hi.
"Xuani, what's up, beautiful?" Trey said through his usual easy grin. He and three others were playing a card game and sipping beers out of large bottles in paper bags. "I want to introduce you to my boys, here, I know you've seen them around" he said, as he stood up and walked around to where I was. That's when I met Derek, and Scott, who dressed about like Trey did: skullcap or ball cap, muscle shirt or t-shirt, and either jeans or shorts. It didn't appear that any of them had jobs, but all of them looked like they spent a lot of time in gyms. Trey took me inside where I met two more men and two girls, neither of which seemed very pleased to meet me.
"Don't worry about them, baby" he explained as he ushered me into the kitchen, "they just don't like being shown up by somebody as sexy as you, but they'll get over it." I'd never had anyone talk to me this way. In fact, the only times I'd been blatantly flirted with in my whole life were from afar, the way Trey had done just a couple of weeks earlier. I had no idea why I liked it so much, but it should have set off a warning in my head that never sounded. He gave me a drink in a plastic cup and told me it was lemonade with something in it to "take the edge off". I sipped it without hesitation while he led me into the living room where yet two more men were watching an Ultimate Fighting match on TV. Rap music drowned out the television broadcast and sunlight poured in through a thin white curtain as I sat on a couch and chatted with Trey about nothing at all. It was as if I'd entered a different reality, where nobody had a job or a care in the world.
I never made it to the waterfront, or anywhere else, that day. I spent it with Trey and his friends- enjoying their attention, flirting with them, enjoying the fact that they looked at me in ways that even my husband did not. Only a glance at the clock on my phone prompted me to leave the house at all, and after narrowly avoiding a kiss, and maybe more, with Trey on the way out, I found myself hastily snapping out of my booze-induced trance to get home before Loi did. Alcohol sweat poured off my brow and down my back as I walked briskly up the hill toward our condo, trying to sweep clean the drunkenness in my brain as I went. I immediately got into the shower when I walked in the door, and was still there when my husband got home shortly afterward.
"Honey, why are you showering now?" He asked, walking past me to the closet, where he always removed his office attire in the same ritualistic order, day after day.
"Umm...I just felt dirty" I said, then tried to divert the questioning. "And I don't feel good, so I don't have any supper started. Maybe we can just order something in, okay?"
"We can do that" he said. "Why do your clothes smell like smoke?"
"Oh...this store I went to down the hill...second-hand place, the owner smokes. It's on my skin too, another reason I feel dirty."
Loi gently scolded me for venturing into less-safe areas, then thankfully let it go. Somehow, either masked by spicy Indian take-out food or the grace of a higher power, he didn't question the alcohol that had to be seeping through my pores and on my breath.
The next day I had to take my grandmother to a doctor's appointment, which was just as well given my hangover from the day before. That night I thought about Trey, Derek, and the others, hoping that the next day they would be at the house. As I got ready that morning, I made a conscious decision to dress myself just for them. I decided to just wear my favorite green bikini, covered up with a sarong around the waist, and sandals- the kind of thing I would normally wear down to the pool. My mother (or my husband for that matter) would kill me for leaving the house in nothing but a swimsuit, but I only wanted to get a reaction from Trey, and besides, I wouldn't be in the sun long enough to get burnt.
The turned heads on the walk to his house were empowering, reminding me that I had, and was, something valuable. Scott answered the door, giving me an admiring once-over as he stepped aside to let me in.
"Looks like my little piece of heaven walked in just now" Trey said, slipping his arm around me as he approached from behind. I leaned into him without even thinking about it. 'How you doing, baby? Hot day out there, let me get you something to cool you off with", he said, leading me into the kitchen. "You like beer? Let me get you one, baby."
"Umm...sure" I said, despite the fact that I'd only tried it once, two years prior, and hated it. He poured a can into a plastic cup and handed it to me.
"Come on in, we're just doing a whole bunch of nothing" he said, wandering into the living room.
Whenever a pang of guilt would creep into my mind for this, I'd remind myself that "a whole bunch of nothing" is what I'd be doing by myself anyway, so I might as well do it with my new friends. They taught me how to play dominoes, then we switched to cards. I finished my first beer and had a second one, not even noticing what it tasted like. I felt free and unstifled, and I knew that Trey and his friends thought I was sexy- they mentioned it all the time and it never failed to make me smile, and so they kept on.
"See, this kind of thing is good for you, Xuani. You're a pretty little thing, but all uptight, that's your problem. I just want to loosen you up a little, show you a good time. That's what we do here, have a good time" said Trey, wrapping his big hand around my bare waist and pulling me toward him.
"Yeah, you want to loosen her up alright" Scott said, breaking into laughter and high-fiving Derek.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Trey snapped, pretending to be pissed off about it. "I'm a gentleman here, as are you motherfuckers. Act like it."
"Well then, let's do the gentlemanly thing and offer her to partake in some fine herbs with us", Derek said, opening a drawer in the coffee table and pulling out a cigar box. I watched as he opened it and pulled out a stuffed zip-lock bag and a packet of small white sheets of paper.
"We roll our own here baby, you want one?" Trey asked me. It dawned on me that I was looking at a bag full of marijuana, and the paper was what they made the joint out of. A twinge of panic set in suddenly, which I tried to hide. This was a place for me to relax, I did not want to make a big deal over nothing, but still, these were drugs, and I hesitated to take more than two Advil at a time, much less illegal ones. "Aww I see, you never done this before have you? How old are you again, Xuani? You could pass for not a day older than 16 but I know better."
"Nineteen", I answered, watching Derek roll the first joint, licking the end of the paper to seal it closed. I should have walked out right then, but I didn't. "This stuff won't hurt me will it?"
"Hell naw, it won't hurt you. Doesn't even make you addicted. What it does do is mellow you completely the fuck out, which you, baby girl, could really use. Trust me", Trey said, resting his other hand on my knee. He explained how to inhale, and not to worry when it made me choke; that it happened to everyone that's new to it. Sure enough, I choked for a good thirty seconds on my first draw, but I was intrigued by the sweet aroma of the smoke as it went down and then hung in the air. We kept playing cards and I took a few more drags off of Trey's joint, my lungs becoming more and more used to the intrusion every time.
By early afternoon I was a little bit buzzed and more than a little bit high. I felt blissfully numb and at peace with whatever came my way. The comments that Trey and his friends were making also made me feel increasingly sexy and outgoing. Derek asked me about my husband, noticing the wedding band on my finger.
"Is he Asian too?" he asked, eyes wandering down to my breasts, hidden behind my bikini top. I told him that we were both Vietnamese, then he asked a question that I handled the worst way possible. Once again, I should have left at this point, but that thought couldn't have been further from my mind.
"Does he satisfy you every way?"
All three looked at me, even Trey, against whom I was leaning with his arm around me, was sitting perfectly still, waiting for my answer. "He doesn't, does he?", Derek pressed, smiling, and sensing my hesitation.
"It's okay...well, okay, not really" I said, laughing nervously, then relaxing again, before continuing. "It's just always the same, no variety, no change. He's a good guy, but yeah...sometimes I want something different."
My body must have known what it was doing but the rest of me did not; I never should have put myself in that position. I was setting something into motion that would soon be unstoppable, yet for some reason, in this house, none of it seemed wrong to me. The frustration of my boredom, in and out of bed, was boiling over. I'd never be the kind of bad wife that would say anything to Loi about it, to cause trouble or to make him feel bad. After all, he worked hard to give us the things we had. But I realized that I was missing some excitement, something, anything, different. Now, here I sat with three rough, muscular white boys, the kind I was forbidden from dating before I met Loi. The kind I always wondered about, the kind that just seemed bad in all the best ways. The kind that I craved.
"You want different, we can do different, baby. Nobody has to know, especially not your husband" Trey said in an almost-whisper, leaning into my ear. "Let's have a little fun, why not? Go ahead, try something new; it won't go any further than you want it to, baby girl."
I knew I wanted to go for it, and I completely bullshitted myself about it, telling myself that I never had to do it again once I knew what it was like. I would do it, and from then on I would just keep the memory with me, that's it. But right now, I needed it.
I turned my head and kissed him, accepting the offer. Feeling his hot breath rushing into my mouth, all resistance ceased. He easily lifted me up and turned me around to sit in his lap. My body tingled all over, making me giggle at the sensations. Trey's tongue was in my mouth, his hands around my waist, and my hands rested against his chest, feeling the warmth of his mass.
His mouth seemed to almost swallow mine whole, humming as he kissed me, sending vibrations. I felt my inhibitions melting away, almost like I had become a different person. I wasn't anybody's wife, I was an animal in desperate need of sexual excitement. I felt myself going limp in Trey's arms but responding stronger by the second to his advances.
A second set of hands reached around from behind me, untying my sarong and leaving it to rest on Trey's legs, exposing my bikini bottom. A set of lips landed on my side, tongue raking across my ribs and up towards my chest. His hands moved up my legs to the rest of my body, making me shiver. He gripped the material that covers my breast with his teeth and pulled while his other hand clutched my breast from the outside. My nipples stood out harder than I can ever remember, even on the coldest day, as I sank further and further into a state of hazy lust.
Out the corner of an eye, Scott was sitting on the far end of the couch, naked and stroking himself, watching us intently. Being sandwiched between the attention of two men, with a third watching, only swept me further from reality. Derek untied my bikini top and tossed it away, leaving my skimpy bottom piece as my only clothing. His hands squeezed my breasts and he kissed my neck as Trey continued to kiss me deeply, holding onto the little bit of baby fat on my hips, his hands tucked underneath the waistband.
Then intensity of multiple hands, multiple mouths, and the heat of two big bodies on either side of me was starting to overwhelm me. I broke the kiss, needing more air, and felt a hand rub between my legs from outside of my swimsuit piece. Trey's middle finger pressed into my vulva, sending tingles through my body. I realized how wet I already was, my folds slipping past each other as he pressed into me, sending the fabric past my outer lips as his touch got rougher and more urgent. I was unable to focus or breathe regularly. I could feel my flush deepen and my shaking start to intensify. My pussy buzzed, begging for more of what it was getting. I draped my arms over Trey's shoulders and leaned into him, weakening further as the four hands continued their manipulation of my body.
My head spun as Derek lifted me up from behind, allowing Trey to remove my swimsuit piece.
"Damn...bush!" Trey said, looking excitedly at my crotch. I only kept myself trim enough to not have stray hairs poking out the side of my swimsuit, and even then I didn't make a habit of exposing myself spread-eagle. Other than that, I left my pubic hair intact because Loi liked it that way.
I was then tossed onto the couch and Trey quickly moved between my legs, flicking his tongue against my clit and rubbing my swollen vulva between his fingers, occasionally slipping one inside. I gasped and writhed, but Derek was soon there to hold me in place, sucking and biting at my nipple and rubbing the other with his hand. Trey clamped his mouth over my pussy and starting eating me aggressively, and when the first orgasm hit, it marked thelast of my ability to really function or have a say in what was happening. After that it was all animalistic reaction. I lost myself under the control of these muscular men. Their hands leaving red marks all over me from their groping, saliva and teethmarks on my neck and nipples.
I cried out as Trey pressed the head of his penis at my tight entrance and pushed forward. My hands tried to reach him to push back, hoping to keep him from entering too hastily, but Derek had me pinned down, kissing and biting me all over my upper body and mouth. The pressure of such a larger penis than I was used to took my breath away and gave me no chance to recover it, pushing steadily deeper with each thrust forward, his strong body wedged between my short legs, forcing me open for him. It took a lot of pressure to push the head past my opening, sending flashes of pain radiating through me as he pushed his shaft into me, slightly deeper with each attempt. I struggled to breathe, never having had anything of this size inside me before. Soon, he was reaching the full depth within me on each thrust, causing a dull throb. He was hitting something in my insides that had never been touched before, sending all new sensations through my body. I didn't know if what I felt was pleasure, pain, or something else, but I know I wanted more of whatever it was, and my hips began to respond to Trey in such a way to let him know it.
I felt warm flesh against my face, opened my eyes, and reached out to find Derek's cock at nearly full erection, touching my face.
"Give that dick some love, girl!" he said, smiling as I attempted to stroke him while getting fucked by Trey, who was settling into a rhythm and removed his shirt, giving me the treat of seeing his muscles flexing with each pump. My knees squeezed against his sides, trying to steady myself against the quickening tempo. I lost myself int the sounds of my juices forced out by his cock, and the grunting of two men helping themselves to me. Derek forced his cock into my face again, and I obliged by licking the underside, then wrapping my lips around as much of it as I could and working my tongue along its length.
Trey pulled out of me, giving me the shock of cool air at my stretched pussy when he exited, then pulled me up, turned me around, and put me on my knees on the couch. My head spun behind the rest of me, then I recognized Derek's dick in front of me, as he was laying on the couch. I again tried to take his cock into my mouth but could only manage to stroke and lick him from the outside. Derek gently guided my head down and around his shaft while Trey fucked me from behind, gripping my hips and punctuating every few thrusts with a hard, loud slap on my ass.
My whole body shook from the fucking I was getting, and this room, which was the mellow place I came to relax in the company of men I could fantasize about, now had a completely different feel. Sex and aggression swirled around the couch. I had no control, I was the one getting fucked, and whatever pleasure I gave them was their decision. I was outweighed and out-muscled by about 500 pounds, all of it wanting and waiting to exact its power over me. My ass slapped loud against his groin with each collision, my cries nearly drowned out by the grunting of men on both ends of me.
Tears streamed down my face as my the combination of my own hand on my clitoris and the hard meat invading my little body drove me to orgasm. I moaned desperately, but he mercilessly kept fucking me through it, my pussy so sensitive that all I wanted was a few seconds of relief but I was no match for his power and his grip on me. He slammed all the way in, over and over, telling me how tight I was and that he owned my pussy until finally he pulled out with a low groan, cursing my name deliciously, splashing my reddened ass with his hot cum, and directing it onto one cheek then watching it slide down my thighs as he leaned back and away from me.
Derek lifted me up and set me down on lap, then coaxed me raise up so I could lower myself onto his dick. I steadied myself on one shaky leg planted to the floor as I tried to ease down onto his shaft, but my pussy was already trying to contract from the last time.
"Come on Xuani, swallow that dick up!" he said to me, holding my hips and starting to force me down onto him. I cried out, losing the battle and feeling my insides forced apart by his cock as he thrust all the way up into me, bucking his hips and holding my body in place. I planted my hands down on his muscular chest, trying to find a rhythm as my body adjusted to the shock of his mass. I should have been repulsed and angered but the loss of control and the rough manner that they were taking with me was only adding to my arousal. The rougher it got, the wetter and hungrier I became for them. Harder and harder he forced me down on his cock until finally I collapsed in convulsions, sobbing into his chest as he fucked me through a shattering climax. I'd never cum just from the sex alone, but this was unlike any sex before. I was a tiny rag doll, helplessly getting pumped full of hungry cock from below.
"Fuck yes, tight little pussy. This pussy's mine...ungghh."
He thrust his hips upward, jabbing his cock into me quickly and deeply until he lost his breath and pulled me up to release his penis from my body just before spraying my ass and pussy with his cum, jerking his load out while he moaned in my ear.
My body was numb and my pussy was on fire- swollen, and stretched, but before I could get my bearings I felt yet another set of hands pull me off Derek's body and lift me up. Scott, the tallest of the three, held me face to face, with my legs wrapped around him in a standing position. I was weak but I held on the best I could, still out of breath and without a coherent thought in my head beyond the wish for more of what they were giving me.
Without a word he lowered me down until I felt the thick bulbous head of his penis pressing against my pussy. He shifted it just right and lowered me further, letting me sink down on him, feeling his shaft rise inside my chamber. I shrieked when he reached the limits that I could take, and then he started to lift me up and back down. I clutched my arms tightly around his shoulders, holding on as he sunk his thick cock into me and then lifted me again, slowly sliding me up and down. I felt the crown of his head and the veins of his shaft pushing my walls to the side.
I was hoarse and out of tears, allowing this cock to ravage me as slowly or as fiercely as it wanted to. Slow would only last for so long before he lowered me onto the couch and kneeled on the floor in front of it, thrusting into me slow at first, then quickly, making me bounce against the back cushions as I watched his cock slide in and out between my legs. A sharp pain again set in each time he poked the deep end of my pussy, making me shriek and again try to push his chest. I watched Scott fuck me: his chain bounced off his sculpted muscles; his abs, a perfect, shaped six-pack, bulged and converged down to his long tool that was drilling me mercilessly into the couch.
I reached a hand down to massage my clit, feeling his body squeeze my fingers between us with each thrust, and with only a moment's warning of numbness, I lost it: curling up, squeezing his body with my legs, and releasing a flood of liquid around his cock, soaking the both of us. The sound of the juice squeezing out the sides of his thick shaft only intensified my climax as I screamed, gripping his arms. My pussy contracted then relaxed, finally accepting his entire cock inside my body, a steady wet smack now keeping time, faster and faster. He gripped my waist, lowered me off the couch, and fucked me like a jackhammer. He slammed me down into his lap with every stroke; my eyes closed and rolled back, my arms went limp and helpless.
I could not get this from Loi. I could not be stretched to my limits, fucked by the kind of guys I fantasize about, taken like an animal in heat. All my inhibitions, all my guilt- everything that should have stopped me- was gone, and all that was left was my lust and my desire. They unlocked this being inside of me that only sought more fuck and more pleasure.
My toes curled and my legs opened wide, my body now used to the massive invasion of cock, accustomed to the size and the speed.
"Oh my god, oh fuck" he moaned, his voice hiccuping to the rhythm of his thrusts. I felt him tense up and slow down, and then roar out load as his cock expanded inside of me before pumping a full load as far inside as he could. I ground my hips against him, feeling him spasm within me, emptying his balls deep within my pussy. I leaned back against the couch, completely limp, with Scott's prick still buried deep in my body, slowly thrusting in and out while he caressed me.
I don't even remember getting put flat onto my back on the couch again, but I do know that the next thing I remember was Trey on top of me again, kissing one of my feet, sucking on the toes while he fucked me, pushing Scott's cum around and out, until finally I heard him groan and felt him shudder as he shot his second load inside of me. Derek was watching and jerked himself off, pouring his cum onto my tits with a loud grunt, then giving the nearest one a hard slap before walking away.
I didn't even try to walk after that; Trey carried me into a back bedroom and put me in the bath with another cold beer, this time I barely touched while I tried to come to terms with what I'd just allowed myself to do. I knew I had to hide this other person from the life I had with Loi, and was determined to do so.
They got me home before my husband did, and I begged off of sex for the next few days, claiming that an irregular period had descended upon me. The truth, of course, was that my pussy was just entirely too beat up to take any further abuse. When I was finally back to normal, I still didn't want anything to do with Loi in terms of sex. All I really wanted to do, of course, was take a walk downhill to the house again, to feel that feeling again, to get high, to get lost, and to be made to cum over and over again with not a care in the world.
It goes without saying that I'd lied to myself earlier; of course one time would not be enough. I would have to have more, and of course I would go back for it. I would also have to be a good wife and continue to allow my husband to make love to me, but I would find ways to fulfill my sexual needs elsewhere, and I would have to fight to keep these two versions of myself separate.
There are many ways for a homebound wife to fight boredom. Some immerse themselves in daytime tv or internet gossip pages. Some eat too much and gain significant weight. Some go the other direction and volunteer at a church or a shelter.
I awakened my curiosity and explored it; now it cannot be made dormant again. It means I'm a liar and a cheater. But, all in all, maybe there are worse problems for a girl to have, such as how and when to determine whether the baby I'm carrying is my husband's or one of the boys' in the house downhill.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.