Alexandra shuffled slowly down the long hallway. The drab linoleum tile was cracked and missing in places. The two toned green walls were faded and depressing. A number of girls were sitting in chairs or shuffling along, attired in the same ugly print hospital gown and robe, and wearing the same blue slippers. It was 1950, and this was the third time she found herself in a place like this. The third time since her parents had caught her that night two years ago.

Alexandra had known for a long time that she was different from the other girls. Her vision of a happy home did not fit the idyllic standard of the day. She thought this might change as she got older and started dating along with all the rest of her friends, but it did not. She thought more and more about her girl friends. She tried a few double dates, but found herself thinking about the other girl on the date and not her actual date.

When she was sixteen, she met a new girl at school. Maryanne had just moved to the area, so had no friends. Alexandra was immediately drawn to her, and they became fast friends in a very short time. It was not long before they both realized the attraction was mutual, and they soon began making out. At first, it was just holding hands and kissing. One day, Alexandra and Maryanne had been making out, but it soon became more heated. They removed each others clothes and began exploring their bodies. Soon they were laying with their heads between the others legs, tongues and fingers working, until both girls orgasmed.

After that, they got together as often as they could, and wherever they could, including the girls locker room at school. They were very careful until the day Alexandra’s dad walked into her room without knocking and caught them naked and making love to each other. Maryanne was sent home immediately and was forbidden to ever return to the house. Alexandra was sent away, and everyone was told she had been enrolled in a boarding school for special girls for the remainder of the school year.

These places were known as reprogramming schools. That first time, she had spent two months in the school where the girls were made to attend various ‘classes’ and group therapy sessions. In the classes, they were taught to put on makeup, dress properly, and how to act on a date with a man. There were dancing lessons and sessions on being the perfect wife and homemaker. It was drummed into the girls that their lot in life was to keep a nice clean home, cook nice home cooked meals every night for their husbands and have babies. They were to submit to their husband’s will and please them sexually. Their own needs were not important.

When she was released and returned home, her parents said that they were enrolling her in a new school the next year and she would finish out her high school years there. She was not to try to see Maryanne during the summer or ever again.

After that first time, Alexandra was a ‘good girl’ for almost a year. Her parents set up several dates with the son of a family friend. She dutifully went out on each date. She wore all the appropriate clothing for a ‘proper’ girl. Her makeup was impeccable. She let her hair grow out and wore it in a popular style of the day. Several other boys began to pay attention to her as well. Her parents were thrilled that she had been ‘cured’. Then, just before school ended for the summer, Alexandra met Denise.

The attraction was immediate for both girls. They began sneaking around, snatching precious moments whenever and wherever they could. They fell hard for each other and hated that they were unable to openly express their love for each other. But it was 1949, and such things were not discussed or permitted amongst ‘civilized people’. When Denise’s parents arrived home early one day and discovered them in bed together, immediate steps were taken. They told Alexandra’s parents of the tryst, and she found herself back in the reprogramming school again. Denise and her family moved to a new house in a town fifty miles away.

This time, Alexandra spent four months at the school. The first six weeks were almost in total isolation. Other than the nurse who gave her medication three times a day and the orderlies who accompanied her to the shower room twice a week and brought meals to her room, she saw no one. Books on etiquette, how to be a good wife and please your husband were left in her room to read. A twice weekly test was given to ensure she was reading them and learning the lessons.

After six weeks of isolation, Alexandra was finally permitted to once again join in the group sessions. The sessions were intense, with the lessons being drummed into the girls twelve hours each day. Meals were eaten in silence. Besides the group sessions, repeat offenders were also subjected to private sessions. Some were given electric shock therapy. She had even heard rumors of lobotomies being administered to some of the worst cases. Every moment was supervised, so there was no chance for them to make friends. The girls were locked in their rooms each night. After two and a half more months, she was deemed ‘cured’ once again and sent home.

She was in her final year of high school, held back due to the time she had spent at the reprogramming school. To explain her absence, her parents had spread the story that she had been sick and had been hospitalized for all that time. All her friends had graduated the previous June. Many of the boys she had known had gone into the service if they had not gone on to college. A few of the girls had also gone on to college or finishing school, but many had already married or were engaged to be. A few were expecting children, and one friend already had given birth to twins. She found out from a mutual friend that Denise had also gotten married. She was profoundly sad about this since it probably meant that they would never see each other again, nor ever be able to share their love.

Although Alexandra had resigned herself to never seeing Denise again, she was glad that at least she had gotten married and had not been sent to a reprogramming school as well. Denise was much more fragile than Alexandra and she doubted that Denise would be able to handle the stress of the school. She hoped that she was happy in her marriage, but she had her doubts. In the back of her mind, she always hoped that someday she would find her or at least hear how she was doing.

One day, fate intervened while on a field trip with her class, and she ran into Denise at a museum. She barely recognized her as she had a baby in a carriage, and it was obvious she was expecting another. Denise looked much older than her nineteen years. Alexandra snuck away from the school group and she and Denise found a quiet corner to talk. Denise told Alexandra the marriage had been arranged by her parents right after they had moved away. She had not even been allowed to finish high school, nor attend art school as she had planned. Her husband, Robert, was twenty-three years her senior and a partner in the law firm where her father was employed. His wife had died some three years previously and they had never had children.

Robert Sunderland was a selfish man, thinking of the wife’s role in a marriage much like many other men at that time. He was the breadwinner, and a wife was there to serve him and satisfy his every whim; that included submitting to his sexual needs and providing him with a son to carry on his name. This is what he expected of his first wife during their marriage. She had twice gotten pregnant, but had miscarried both times. She was deeply depressed after the second miscarriage and did not want to be touched again. This was something he would just not tolerate as he wanted that son, and expected her to do what it took to give him one. At first, he seemed to be a bit more concerned about her feelings, but eventually tired of her rejections to his demands.

He continued pressing her to get pregnant, telling her that having a child would make her feel better. It was 1946 and women had very little recourse but to do what their husbands demanded of them. After awhile, she finally just let him do as he pleased, but she did not get pregnant again. He was quite unhappy with the situation and reminded her often that she was not fulfilling her wifely duties. He began drinking and she became even more depressed, losing weight until she weighed a mere ninety pounds. One day, she just stopped caring and slipped into a coma. She was hospitalized, but never woke up and finally died about a month later.

Denise told Alexandra that it was a loveless marriage. Robert showed her little affection, though he had doted on their daughter when she was first born. Sex was very perfunctory. He did not care at all about her pleasure and rarely took longer than ten minutes to finish, then would roll over and go to sleep. If she complained enough about his lack of caring about her needs, he would settle for oral sex on him instead. Denise was very embarrassed to relate this to Alexandra, but she had no one else to talk to and trusted her completely.

Denise said that after their daughter was born, she was moved into another room with the baby so Robert would not be disturbed during the night. Whenever he chose, she was summoned to his room to have sex. When she became pregnant again, he stopped asking her for even that, just occasionally requiring her to give him a blow job until he even stopped asking for that. He began drinking even more and staying away from home, sometimes all night. She had just also found out he had a mistress which explained his increasing absences. In many ways, she hoped and wished he would divorce her or leave her for his mistress, but she had no idea how she would support herself if he did, as well as worrying he would take her children from her.

She was very unhappy and lonely. Her only adult company had come from the colored help who came daily to cook, clean and help with the baby. She had no social life whatsoever. After numerous complaints, her husband had finally acquiesced and purchased a car for her. To pay for it, he dismissed the housekeeper, so she was busier than ever and rarely got out except to do the shopping, take the clothes to the Laundromat or run other errands. She was sick with this second pregnancy and tired all the time. The trip to the museum was a rare event. All their old feelings came rushing back, and they made plans to meet again soon.

Over the next eight months, they managed to talk every week or two and occasionally meet somewhere. Alexandra began going to Denise’s house as she neared the end of her pregnancy. She finally gave birth to another daughter. Within two weeks of giving birth, her husband began bringing her back into his bedroom for sex as he said he was determined to have a son. She became pregnant about three months later, and the sex stopped once again. Two years of marriage to a man she did not love and already pregnant with her third child, but that was the reality of the time. She hoped this one would be a son, so he would just leave her alone.

During this time, Alexandra had graduated from high school and was attending a finishing school. Luckily, her parents had not realized that the school was only a few miles from where Denise was now living, which had made it very easy for the two girls to meet. The finishing school was really nothing more than a place for men to meet acceptable women to marry. Alexandra was a very beautiful girl, so was courted by many of the male students from the local college. She vowed to dutifully keep up the pretense, until she graduated, got a job and could move away from home.

She and Denise were making plans for that time. Somehow they would find a way to be together, find a way for Denise to leave her husband. Find a way, despite their parents and families, to share their love and their lives. In the meantime, she would play along. It was all going well until an old neighbor of her parents saw the two girls together holding hands and sneaking kisses. And so Alexandra found herself in the reprogramming school for the third time. She worried more about Denise than herself. She had been through this before, but she feared what Denise’s husband would do to her.

Alexandra wondered if Denise’s parents had told him of her preference for women when they had arranged the marriage. She suspected they had, but probably assured them the “problem” had been dealt with and that she was young and healthy and would surely give him the children he wanted. If he found out they were seeing each other again, he might well have her committed somewhere and she might never see her kids or Alexandra again. She knew that she could do nothing to help Denise as long as she was in here. She did not know how long they would keep her there this time either, but was resolute to get out as quickly as possible, find Denise and run as far away as they could get. Somehow, she was determined to find a way to make it happen.

Alexandra was being even more heavily medicated this time. She felt like she was in a stupor most of the time, until she finally began spitting out her meds when the orderlies weren’t looking. To keep up the pretense, she continued acting like she was taking them. She allowed herself to be made up, dressed up, and man handled by the men they brought in to the ‘dances’ that were held. Many of these ‘dances’ resulted in some of the girls being snuck off to a room somewhere, where the men kissed and fondled them. The hospital staff turned a blind eye to these occurrences as the families of the girls actually sanctioned it. In fact, many of the men were dates arranged by the families to marry off the girls after they were ‘cured.'

Her parents had already tried sending two different men for her, but she had managed to discourage them both, while at the same time making it seem like she was finally ready to change into a ‘normal’ woman. After six months of reprogramming, she was finally discharged and sent home. Her parents had lined up a job for her at a local department store, and had her old room ready for her. Her trousers and men’s shirts had been replaced by skirts and frilly blouses. Her vanity was stocked with makeup. And there was not one pair of sneakers left in her closet.

A marriage was being arranged with a young man she knew from high school. He was there at her welcome home party. She knew as soon as she met him. Knew his secret. She had kind of suspected in school, had heard a few rumors, but now she was sure. This would be okay. Her thoughts went to Denise and she wondered what had happened to her while she was gone. She wondered about the pregnancy and Denise’s husband. Alexandra wondered if she was still okay. But before she could get away with Denise, she needed to get in touch with her again. She vowed she would figure out a way to check it out as soon as she was able; knowing her parents would be watching her closely would make it harder.

Her new job would be starting the next Monday. Her dad would drive her there each morning and pick her up at the end of her shift. She would have to give her parents her paycheck each week and would just be given a very small allowance to buy her lunch each day. She did not have a driver’s license or a car and the allowance really did not leave her much money to do anything, unless she skipped lunches. Her only freedom would come during her weekly date with Sam. Alexandra thought up a plan and put it into play.

At work, she tried to locate Denise during her breaks or lunch. She tried calling her from a pay phone at work, but the number she had was disconnected. She tried calling the operator, but there was no listing where she used to live. Finally, she decided to enlist Sam’s help. She told him she knew his secret, and he said he knew hers, but it would be fine. He had intended to tell her about himself soon anyway to be fair to her. For the time being, the arrangement suited them both. She told Sam her concerns about Denise. Sam agreed to help Alexandra find Denise, or at least find out if she was okay. It took almost a month, but he finally was able to find out where Denise and her family were living and get a phone number.

In the meantime, Sam and Alexandra continued dating, and he finally proposed. Her parents were ecstatic when Alexandra told them and said she had accepted. In reality, Sam and Alexandra had no intention of there ever being a real marriage, though they would go through with a wedding. Alexandra and Denise had finally been in touch and talked on the phone frequently. They had only been able to see one another once for just a few minutes. Alexandra’s parents were easing up on her a bit with the wedding plans moving along, but still kept her on a fairly short leash. They told her they had been saving her paychecks and would give the money to Sam to use for their honeymoon or their future.

Sam had been applying to a number of accounting firms in other states as he also wanted to get away from his family, and he had already interviewed at several. Two of the firms had made him offers. He had checked out the areas near each firm and found one that would be more conducive to his lifestyle, and also would be supportive of Alexandra and Denise. There was a large art community nearby where Denise could pursue her passion for painting. Her children would also be welcomed there and care would be available while Denise studied. Denise finally gave birth to a baby boy, but he was almost a month early. Labor was brought on prematurely after her husband had come home drunk again and caused her to trip and fall when she was trying to put him to bed . The baby spent almost six weeks in the hospital, and it was touch and go for awhile, but was now doing fine.

It was going to be hard for Denise to get away from her husband. She was not going to leave without her children, and had only been able to squirrel away a small amount of money. She would need somewhat of a head start when she left so she could be far enough away before he noticed she was missing. And she would need do it in such a way as not to draw attention to herself. That and the lack of money eliminated taking a plane or train. She might be able to afford a bus, but with three small children, that would not only be very hard on her, it would also make it easy for the police to find her. They all decided to have her wait until after Sam and Alexandra were married and then travel with them.

Both Sam and Alexandra had indicated to their families they wanted a very small wedding. Just a ceremony at city hall and dinner at a nice restaurant afterwards with the immediate family. They said the money they saved could be set aside to help purchase a home instead. They hinted at wanting to start a family as well. Sam actually had to start his new job before the wedding, so he went out and found a place for them to live and started work. Denise and Alexandra finally found a way to meet a few times and shortly before the wedding was able to get a bunch of the kids stuff to her. Alexandra added it to the trunk she was shipping to Sam with a number of her things.

The day of the wedding arrived and Sam and Alexandra were married. They told everyone they would be leaving on their honeymoon the following day, then move directly into the apartment Sam had rented afterward. In the meantime, Denise had told her husband she was going to spend several days at her aunt’s, who had broken her arm and needed some help. He seemed happy to have her and the kids gone for a few days, though he claimed he would miss his son. She knew he had grown tired of screaming children and would probably spend the time with his mistress unobstructed. Before she left though, he warned her to keep her mouth shut.

The day after the wedding, and after saying goodbye to their families, Sam and Alexandra got into Sam’s car and left for their ‘honeymoon’. They met Denise and the kids at a prearranged location and transferred everything from Denise's car into Sam’s vehicle. It was a bit crowded with three adults. three kids, all their bags and the wedding gifts, but they would manage. Sam had arranged for Denise to live at the commune at the artist colony where she and her children would be welcomed without prejudice. Outwardly, Sam and Alexandra would appear to be a happily married couple, and only a few people would know the truth.

It was a four day drive, with Sam, Alexandra, who had finally gotten her license, and Denise sharing the driving duties. Sam and Alexandra had made reservations at a couple of motels on the way and snuck Denise and the kids in after they checked in. They bought groceries and ate mostly sandwiches and juice or water, saving money instead of eating at restaurants. Denise wanted to chip in what she could, but Sam said she would need it when they arrived at the commune. Since she did not have a job, she would earn her room and board by working in the garden, the kitchen or one of the other areas. Child care was available, so she would also be able to study art. Still, there would be some things she would need to buy.

They finally arrived and after getting Denise and the kids situated, Sam and Alexandra settled into their apartment, where they set about living their separate lives. Sam loved his job and was assigned to a large account after only six months. It wasn’t long before he found and fell in love with Danny and eventually moved in with him, leaving the apartment for Alexandra. Although Denise continued living at the commune, she and Alexandra spent as much time together as possible, their love for each other growing day by day.

Sam and Alexandra continued using the apartment to host the occasional dinner party for his coworkers and other straight friends or on the rare times one of their parents made the long trip to visit. Alexandra’s mother confided on one visit that she knew the marriage was not real, but would never tell her father. She said she hoped Alexandra was finding the happiness she deserved and was sorry for what had been done to her. Alexandra had enrolled in college as a history major. She wanted to become a teacher. Denise was able to study art and showed great potential. To avoid any possible issues with her husband finding her, Denise had changed her name and that of her children, but was still worried he might come after her.

Alexandra finally heard through her parents the news that Denise and her three children had disappeared and her car was found abandoned. Her husband said she had planned on visiting an aunt, but the aunt denied any knowledge of a visit. Foul play was suspected and the police were looking at her husband. But lacking a body or bodies, he would most likely not be charged with anything. The more time that passed, the safer Denise felt. Denise, Alexandra, Sam and Danny spent a lot of time together and often attended various events the community held. These were generally quiet affairs as homosexuality was still a taboo subject amongst ‘civilized people.' After all, it was 1955. When they went out to other events, they would pair up as two normal couples that did not warrant a second look

By then, Denise was becoming a popular local artist and her paintings were beginning to command higher and higher prices. She did many landscapes and seascapes which the tourists loved, and she could barely keep up with the demand. When a house nearby the commune came up for sale, Denise and Alexandra bought it. The house had plenty of room for all of them. They were growing up and loved their Aunt Alexa and Uncles Sam and Danny. They attended the school where Alexandra was now teaching.

While the nature paintings sold well and paid the bills, her favorite subject was Alexandra, who often posed nude for her. Denise had done several of her as well as other nudes, including one she had also painted herself into, though she partially hid their faces so no one would recognize them. Some of her nudes were discovered and featured in an upscale gallery a distance from the commune,

By 1975, Denise was becoming known nationally. She looked completely different than she did when she had left her husband, maturing into a healthy and beautiful woman. Her paintings sold for thousands of dollars each. Her oldest daughter had inherited artistic abilities, specializing in illustrations of medical books. Her second daughter was in college and wanted to be a lawyer. She had already been accepted to Harvard Law as well as several other prestigious law schools. Her son was also in college and was leaning towards medical school, though he was unsure if he wanted to practice medicine or go into research. Alexandra was now a school principal, and they were both still very much in love. Sam had opened his own accounting firm, and he and Danny were still together and very happy.

Not too long after Denise had disappeared, her husband had moved his mistress into the house. Every now and then the police would question him about Denise’s disappearance, but after seven years, he had had her declared dead. After several affairs, he kicked his mistress out and married a twenty-two year old girl named Janice. He had four more kids, all girls. He was no kinder to her than he had been to Denise, but it was a different time. Though difficult, Janice had finally found the courage to divorce him and take the children with her.

Denise was surprised when she found out her kids had four half siblings and also discovered that Janice was really struggling financially. She talked it over with her kids and Alexandra and they all decided to contact Janice and invite her to come and live with them. With the three older kids mostly out of the house, there was more than enough room and Alexandra and Denise had often talked about adopting or fostering another child or children.

Alexandra’s parents had both finally come to terms about her, eventually finding out about Denise and the kids, and visited as often as they could. After her father was killed in a car accident, Alexandra moved her mom closer to them. By 2005, Alexandra had served as principal in a number of schools, eventually becoming superintendent before retiring. Denise continued painting, and also mentored a number of promising artists at the commune, where she was still an active supporter.

Her three children all grew up with very successful careers and families of their own. Janice still lived in the house with Alexandra and Denise along with her youngest daughter. Two of the girls, were married and had five children between them. The oldest of the four, Susan, had a good job which involved a lot of travel. She was currently living abroad, but was moving back to the states and would be home for the holidays. She told them all she was bringing a surprise home. It had been three years since she had been home and everyone was looking forward to seeing her.

All six children and their families lived close by. Sam and Danny were still together and joined the growing brood for every holiday and family event. Everyone was at the house when Susan arrived with her very pregnant wife, who gave birth to twins about a month later, naming the boys Alex and Dennis.