“Damn! Oh no, oh no!” I holler.

Don’t panic. He couldn’t have gone far. You just have to find him. Frantically, I search and search. Tears roll down my face as panic sets in.

“Viggo, why did you do this to me? Please come back to me," I voice aloud.

Viggo had not been with me very long, but I quickly grew attached to him. He is so cute. Moments ago, I had him within my grasp, and he slipped away. My heart races in fear.

I yell to him out loud as if he can actually hear me. He cannot. I say a few words of prayer hoping that God will bring him back to me. He will not.

I bend over, spread my ass cheeks with my hands, and jump up and down. Gravity, don’t fail me now. I need you. It appears I stand on the one spot on earth where gravity does not exist.

“Viggggggoooooo!”

I guess I need to explain something to you. Viggo is my teeny, tiny, bullet-sized, pink vibrator. He is named after one of my favorite actors, Viggo Mortensen, who starred in one of my favorite movies, Lord of the Rings. His character, Aragorn, sported my favorite physical features – dark hair, beard, mustache, and piercing eyes. So, duh, I named my beloved vibrator after him. And now … he is lost … inside my ass … buzzing.

Please stop laughing as this is a really serious situation. I need your full support and understanding in this incident. 

First, I will catch you up on how this embarrassing predicament occurred.

A little while ago, I slipped my soft pink nightie over my head and slid underneath my satin sheets. Today, life spanked me hard on my ass, so I desperately needed to unwind. My body ached from the stresses of the day and Viggo is my best stress reliever. He is very versatile with varying capabilities – slow and steady vibrations, rapid pulsations, or intermittent thumps.

Tonight, I chose to unwind with slow and steady vibrations. I lay on my back listening to music, while one hand rubbed my nipples, pulling them erect. The other hand tightly held Viggo, placing him on the hood of my clit. I left him there for a few moments, letting him work his magic before sliding him underneath for a more intense sensation.

Oh my gosh, he felt so good. My hips moved with Viggo and I felt the pressure building. Too soon! I wanted this to last a while, so I reluctantly pulled Viggo away from my ultimate pleasure spot. I decided to try something new and slid Viggo down my slippery wet lips to my tight asshole. I felt really adventurous tonight and wanted to explore this new area. I tentatively pressed Viggo longways against my asshole. Surprisingly, the vibrations felt pretty good down there.

I had been told before that there was a spot inside your ass that affects your clit and could intensify your orgasms. Unable to resist, I slowly slid the tip of Viggo, already wet from my own pussy juices, into the opening. He sat there a little while vibrating and allowed me to take in this new sensation. I enjoyed it. It produced different feelings than my clit but was very pleasurable.

Ecstasy fueled my bravery, so I urged Viggo further inside. He easily complied and he felt amazing! I kept pushing him trying to seek out the best spot for him. But, I pushed sweet Viggo too far, and before I knew it, I lost my grip on him.

My first thought was to turn him off. He is controlled by a button on his bottom, and when I tried to push it to turn it off, I accidentally pushed him further inside me, and could no longer grasp him. My heart stopped.

So back to the present, here I am with Viggo, lost in my ass. Realizations take over telling me I need help with this. I need to go to the ER. Ugh.

As I drive to what I am sure will be the most embarrassing experience of my life, I scramble my brain to come up with a story to tell the waiting room attendant. I can’t blurt out I have a vibrator stuck in my ass in front of the unsuspecting other patients, but need to be somewhere close to the story, so they can direct me to the help I need. I got it. I will say I am having severe pelvic pain. That is pretty generic. Do I need to remind you Viggo is still buzzing in my ass? Sitting on him buzzing, while trying to concentrate on the road, is a whole new indescribable feeling.

Anxiety sets in. Trembling, I walk up to the waiting room window and sign in. Relieved, they call me back to the check-in nurse pretty quickly. She asks me what I am there for and I tell her I have pelvic pain. She doesn't really press me on my situation. I pray she can’t hear the whisper-soft buzzing come from my ass. I keep clearing my throat and fake coughing, just in case.

Please stop laughing at me. You know, karma is a bitch. So, stop laughing.

I am led back to a room and told a nurse will be with me shortly. Please be female. Please be female. Of course, a male nurse enters. Thank you, life! Or course, he is good looking. I have no idea why it makes me feel more embarrassed because he is good looking, but it does. His name is Mark, and he is built like a tank with blond hair and bright blue eyes. Oh, and his hands are huge... like the biggest, thickest fingers I have ever seen. Hopefully, he will not be the one dumpster-diving in my ass.

“Hi, so I see you are having pelvic pain. Can you tell me where exactly it hurts and when it started?” he asks.

Sigh. A long silence follows before I can speak. And I find myself whispering.

“I was embarrassed to tell the front desk what was wrong. It is my ass.”

He furrows his brows, and says, “Okay... “ Silence follows and then, “What exactly is wrong with your butt?”

I close my eyes, thinking it will somehow make this whole thing disappear, and say, “I lost my vibrator in my ass. And it is still on.”

Silence follows again. I hold my eyes tightly shut. Please say something, Mark, to break this deafening silence.

Forcing myself to open my eyes, I see him staring at me and biting his lower lip. Oh my God! Is he seriously trying not to laugh right now? Dude, you are supposed to be a professional!

“Okay. Ummm. Well, are you in a lot of pain?” he stammered.

“I am in pain because I am dying of embarrassment,” comes pouring out my mouth. My hands shoot up to cover my face.

He surprisingly smiles warmly and leans forward saying, “Don’t be embarrassed. This is not the first time we have had an issue like this. It will be fine. Let’s get you undressed so we can take a look.” As he reassuringly pats my hand, I feel a minuscule bit better.

After getting up from his stool, he pulls a sheet out of a drawer and hands it to me saying, “Please undress from the waist down and put this sheet over you and the doctor will be in shortly.”

An eternity passes. I try to lay down on the exam table as it is a little more comfortable than sitting on my buzzing ass.

The doctor finally arrives and cheerily jumps right in and asks, “So, I hear you have something stuck. Can you still feel it at all?”

While I usually appreciate a bright, sunny disposition, this man's upbeat personality annoys the fuck out of me. He is quite a bit older than the nurse. I spy spots of gray at his temples. Maybe, my predicament is something he has handled before. 

“I can just feel the end of him... I mean it... but can’t get it back out.”

“Well, let’s take a look. Please stand up and bend forward over the table, with your legs apart, and try to relax while I feel around.”

Try to relax! Are you fucking kidding me? My ass is so tightly clenched right now you couldn’t slide a toothpick in it!

Wanting this to be over as quickly as possible, I do as he says and these two men come in behind me. I hear the latex gloves snap as they put them on their hands. That sound alone will cause even the loosest of asses to tighten.

“I am not going to use lubricant, as I think it might make this situation worse. So, I apologize if this is a little uncomfortable,” the doctor says.

Great. Even better news.

Mark pats my back and sweetly says, “You will be fine.”

I glance over and Mark’s flimsy medical pants reveal he is sporting a hard-on. I squeeze my eyes shut in disbelief. Really? Dude! Again, can we try to be professional here?

“Just try to relax your muscles, please, and this will go much more smoothly,” the doctor says.

I try to comply, mentally leaving this horrid cold space for a warm, relaxing beach, and then see the nurse put his hands on my ass, spreading my cheeks for the doctor.

“Hold her just like that, please,” the doctor says to him.

Oh my gosh, kill me! Please someone put me out of this misery.

I feel his fingers at my clenched, tight opening. Two fingers slide into me and I feel him hitting the vibrator, still buzzing in my ass. His finger fumbling seems to go on forever. I want to find a hole and crawl in it and never come out. This is the most embarrassing thing ever for someone like me, who hates being on public display. I have two men all up in my naked ass. Some might call that a party in a different setting.

“I can’t quite get a grip on it,” he groans in frustration. “Just be patient, please.”

He pushes and pokes in my ass, and finally, his fingers slide out, and he steps back, loudly sighing.

I was resting on my elbows, not completely bent over, as the table was a little high for my short stature.

The doctor drags a stool over and says, “Here. Please climb onto this and bend back over, laying your stomach flat on the table. Try to keep your butt up as high as you can and I will see if I can get better access.”

Oh my God! Really? This time I loudly sigh but comply.

“You’re doing great,” says the male nurse, still sporting a pop-tent in his britches.

I brace myself as the nurse once again spreads my ass cheeks with his monster fingers and the doctor moves in for search and rescue attempt number two. He is a little rougher this time, and I make hissing noises while sucking in my breath through my teeth. It hurts now. My ass, that is not used to all this special attention, hurts.

“I’ve got it!” he yells, a little too joyfully, finally pulling Viggo out of my ass.

He holds buzzing Viggo and looks at me questioningly.

“Hit the bottom to turn him, I mean it, off,” I say.

He turns him off and the pop-tent nurse takes Viggo from him and proceeds to the sink to thoroughly wash Viggo with soap and water, before wrapping him in a tissue. He walks him back over and gingerly hands him back to me, smiling his all-knowing smile.

“You might be a little sore, but I don’t think any damage is done,” says the doctor.

I mutter a thank you. Now, get the hell out … both of you!

“You may get dressed and someone will be back in to check you out. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Bullshit! Do you think I will enjoy the rest of my evening after this?

And with that, the doctor and nurse leave me and Viggo alone to start recovering from this horrifically embarrassing ordeal.

My cheeks on my face flush red as I know my story will be told in the ER break room tonight. Seeing their laughing faces makes me cringe. I pray I don’t ever, and I mean ever, see nurse pop-tent or doctor fumble-fingers again.

Once in my car, I open the tissue to peek at Viggo. He had a big adventure tonight and I think I will let him rest for quite some time before bringing him back out to play. Goodnight, Viggo. I go home and watch Lord of the Rings again.