I had never realized how Bobby made me feel until the moment he kissed me for the first time. He was so gentle, yet aggressive and desperate to get his point across to me - that he loves me. I was so distracted by him and his embrace that I didn't hear my brother enter the house until I heard him shout, "What the fuck?!" With that, I saw his face, fuming with anger, and I was glad that he was angry. I wanted him to endure pain like I had to. Upon Caleb's entry, naturally, we stopped kissing, but Bobby's hand stayed on my thigh as if he was protecting me, and that pissed my brother off to no end.
"Get your disgusting hands off of her now!" Caleb said, never breaking eye contact with him.
Bobby stood up and walked across the room and stopped when he was centimeters from Caleb's face. He looked his cousin up and down before replying. "Your sister happens to like my hands, because she definitely didn't tell me to get off of her."
I saw the rage on Caleb's face, and before I knew it, Caleb threw a punch at Bobby, and soon they were in a full on fight. I screamed at the top of my lungs, telling them to stop, but this was way beyond them fighting over me. This was all the pent up anger and hatred they had for one another. This was a decade worth of stress they caused one another, and I knew that it was going to be hell to do it, but I had to break them up.
I started hitting the boys, desperate to get their attention, but when I hit Bobby on the shoulder, he threw an elbow at me, and I fell. Almost an instant after, I heard Caleb scream out, "Baby, are you okay?, and within milliseconds, he was by my side, making sure I was ok. He yelled out to his cousin, "Way to go, you bastard! You hurt the only innocent person in the room! Why are you here, anyway? Don't you have a life of your own to ruin?"
Bobby looked at me with tear-filled eyes and said to Caleb, "She is my life, Caleb. I have loved this girl for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until today that I decided to let her know how I feel. I called her today just to hear her voice-that sweet, joyful voice that I missed so much and she was crying. I came all this way just to make sure that she was ok. We were talking about why she was crying, and she told me that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and didn't remember doing it because he was drunk. I told her that with me, she would never have to worry about lies or cheating, or anything that would cause her any pain because I love her more than life itself. I would give anything just to have her go back home with me so we can start a new life together. She occupies my thoughts all day, and I can't sleep without fantasizing about her being in bed next to me. She is the reason why I can't have a girlfriend. She's the only one for me, and I can't lie to myself by attempting to date someone else. She is my everything, and I came here to tell her that, and I am here now, hoping that she feels the same way about me."
Time stopped when Caleb, still on his knees from the time he was checking on me, looked over at me for validation or for denial. I honestly didn't know how I felt. I just knew that I felt something special for both guys. Caleb was and still is my first love, and even though he broke my heart, I still feel in tune with him. He knows me better than anyone else in the world, and I know him in the same way. However, Bobby gives me this feeling of desire. He desires me in the most desperate way, and that makes me feel loved. Ever since we were little, we clicked, but it wasn't until today that I felt sexually and emotionally connected to him. Every girl wants to be wanted by their lover, but I have two guys who I love in different ways. I didn't know who to choose, if I was going to choose anybody at all.
I got up off the floor and tried my best to speak. After what felt like an eternity, I finally said to the two, "I need a minute. Please excuse me." A rather formal thing to say, but at this point, I didn't know either of them the way I thought I did. I went to my room, and I fell onto my bed, sobbing because of the decision I would have to make sooner or later. They wouldn't let me string them both along without giving me an ultimatum.
The last thing I wanted to hear them say is, "It's either me or him." It's a tough decision, especially when both choices will forever be a part of your family tree.
After 10 minutes elapsed, I heard a soft knock on my door. I didn't respond, but the person took the liberty of entering anyway. I felt his hands massaging my feet first, then they slowly crept up my body until they reached my shoulders. I felt him kiss the back of my neck a dozen times, the next one longer than the previous one.
He finally spoke, whispering into my ear. "I love you, baby. I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you that. I'm sorry for what I did, and I know that I said it before, but this time will be the last.