John was in his mid-thirties when he took the decision to return home to the UK after a long absence. Previously he had always taken his vacations in parts of the world within easy reach of Sydney where his medical career kept him permanently busy and on call year round.
For over 15 years John had refrained from returning home for two reasons but one of these had ceased to be a real problem when his father died. The second reason for staying away he would find impossible to admit but if he were to be honest with himself it had everything to do with the fact that since childhood he had been passionately and faithfully and secretly in love with his mother!
Many a son has an abundance of love for his mother and there is nothing unusual in that. Indeed it would be strange if a son didn’t enjoy a close relationship with the one person who from birth has more to do than anyone else with his physical and emotional wellbeing. Between some mothers and sons however physical feelings stronger than ‘the norm’ can be generated until, as he reaches puberty, the boy’s sexual interests and instincts can cause difficulties if they become intimately fixated upon his mother.
And so it had been with John whose love and devotion had started at an emotional level almost as soon as he was born and had grown over the years until it turned into a fixation as he reached his teens . That was when it all changed and he had started to lust after his mother with a passion that the ‘trick-cyclists’ would have considered ‘unhealthy and misplaced’ and when that happened they would have let the word “incest” rear its ugly head. But call it what you like -John simply LOVED his mother. It was uncomplicated; sexual certainly but there were no complications like wanting to marry her or have children with her. No. All he wanted was to explore and have fun with the woman who made him laugh, cared for him as much as he cared for her and who for him represented all things interesting, beautiful, exciting and above all else was feminine. To John she became an exciting WOMAN, a mysterious creature with hidden secrets. In short - his mother was feminine and desirable!
At school, almost every week, he would learn something new from those amazing experts who held the school playground in thrall with their knowledge about the subject of woman and ‘SEX’ and he would rush home as soon as lessons ended to begin experimenting in the wild open spaces of his fertile mind with his MOTHER. The happy, shameless one who would countenance anything, try anything…let him DO anything with her and to her and it was only his inability to masturbate 24 hours a day non-stop that had saved him from going blind.
In fact John’s love was anything but tortured or a source of recrimination. He’d been happy and well able to cope with the fact that he simply found his cuddly, comforting, lovable, loving, caring mother more sexually attractive than any of the girls around with whom his father was urging him to ‘get stuck in, boy!’ Gradually he’d become frustrated by the fact that he could not openly show his mother the real depth of his love for her and the situation became even more difficult when he grew to understand that his mother’s marriage was nothing but a sham and he realized that she was miserable and domestically down trodden. John’s life then became a nightmare for there was little he could do about his mother’s plight. Certainly he made her aware of the fact that he knew how unhappy she was and that he cared for her and about her but as for declaring his passion there was no way he could even contemplate such a thing. So he’d kept his true feelings secret and when he left for university he determined never to return home. Over the following few years he’d occasionally broken his resolution by making short visits home but after his father’s funeral he had refused to return at all, not even for a fleeting visit despite regular pleas from his mother to do so. Finally he had left for Australia and he hadn’t seen her since.
Although they talked on the ‘phone every Christmas and exchanged letters at irregular intervals – he even sent her Valentine cards - it was a ‘begging’ letter from his mother that made John finally change his mind. The letter had come out of the blue and was the one he had dreaded for in it she said her health was failing and she’d been told she might not have long to live. It was a short, plaintive missive ending with the admission that she wanted her son to come home, if only for a short visit, because it might be their last chance to become reconciled though, as she said, she had never really understood WHY he had left and stayed away so long. The letter had ended with the sad reflection that she wanted to say a final ‘Goodbye’.
After much soul searching and a couple of long ‘phone calls John had decided that no matter how distressing the past might have been for both of them and despite the fact that he STILL dreamed of having a sexual relationship with the only woman he had ever wanted, it was time to abandon those fantasies once and for all and go home like a dutiful son. He knew that his mother must never discover the true depth and extent of his feelings for her but out of love and compassion and also a feeling of guilt he accepted that he had to try and re-establish a ‘caring mother and loving son’ relationship with her before she died.
During their last ‘phone conversation before he boarded the train in London for Bristol his mother had said she would meet him at the station wearing a brown suit and, to help him identify her more easily, a red hat. As he stepped down onto the platform at Temple Meads, Bristol and began to look around for a debilitated, tired out old woman he knew he would have to wait until the crowd thinned. After searching the moving throng for a while and seeing no obvious candidate he began to wonder if his mother had been too ill to keep the appointment. It took some time for the platform to clear but then, suddenly as a group of holiday makers moved aside he saw a small woman standing alone.
It was the hat, perched at a jaunty angle on a head of dark brown hair flecked with grey that gave her away but when he saw ths woman standing there alone and no-one else around to compete for his attention he realised that his mother’s story of being ‘sick & declining’ had been something of a fiction. For this was not the woman for whom he’d traveled half way across the world in order to ‘do his duty’ and salve his conscience. The one he had prepared himself to meet would be more bent, dowdier and therefore less attractive than he remembered her all those years ago. She would have lost her alluring figure and ‘run to seed’ and her face would be lined and care-worn whereas even from the back this woman made you think she would look attractive – maybe even beautiful – when she turned round. No, this woman was a vision from the world of his imagination and as she half turned and he saw her more clearly a tsunami of lust fuelled desire came bursting through his defences and suddenly, terrifyingly he was staring at the woman like a sex-starved teenager again!
“MUMMY?” John spoke the word cautiously and the uncertain tone in his voice said it all! Having expected to be met by a dowdy, sickly old woman he was confronted instead by a creature from out of his dreams and as his eyes devoured her from pretty top to fashionable toe he found it almost impossible to accept that this was indeed his mother. And yet though the soft curves of her body were a little more generous, her poise a little more upright, this was most definitely his beloved step-mother! But today, here and now, she was so much more the image with whom he had explored his teenage lusts that he found himself falling for her all over again!
As he called that single, evocative word, “MUMMY?” the woman turned and recognition flooded her face as if a spotlight had been turned upon it from above and in a voice brimming with excitement she said, “Oh, my God…….IT’S YOU!!”
Although his mouth had gone dry John managed to croak, “Yes, Mum It’s me!!!” and as they moved towards one another he could only add, “You look absolutely……WONDERFUL!”
In the circumstances this was a totally inadequate summing up of his feelings but it was all he could think of to say before gathering into his arms the smiling, laughing woman who flung herself against him with an enthusiasm that was breathtaking.
As he hugged her close and gave her smooth, perfumed cheek his first kiss in over 15 years his mother clung to him and gasped, “OH, my God!!........ AT LAST!”
For a moment he thought she was going to cry but instead she reached up and though her eyes brimmed with tears she simply touched his face and whispered, “YES! YES! It IS my darling, HANDSOME home at last!!”,
Her welcoming words, every syllable overflowing with happiness, died away as her son hugged her more enthusiastically than he had intended and she croaked, “Darling, darling! Don’t squeeze your poor old mother to death!”
John stuttered an apology and started to release her but his mother laughed and reaching out pulled him back into an even closer embrace! It was what they both wanted and as she pressed her soft, warm body to his, John quivered with surprised excitement and the blood went rushing to his head.
As he held his mother close John tried to come to terms with the fact that this plumpish, middle aged woman who embraced him with such fervor was not on her ‘last legs’ or ‘at death’s door’ at all but was deliciously alive and devastatingly attractive. With a laugh of sheer disbelief he cuddled her in his arms before leaning away from her and saying, “Here….let me look at you!”
Pushing her almost to arms length he admired the beautifully made-up features before looking down and realising that his mother’s curves though a little more generous than he remembered, were also more shapely! The fact that she wore a smart linen business suit, had legs smoothly clad in seamed nylon hose, feet shod in high heeled, fashionable court shoes told him that here was a NEW mother, one he might well have fantasised about but had certainly never expected to meet. To anyone looking on she was a modern ‘woman of the world’ who dressed well, wore her cheeky, red hat perched at an angle and favoured a perfume designed not only to gain a man’s attention but invite his sexual interest!
The effect of examining his mother with such loving care and breathing in the invitation exuded by her perfume made John’s heart pound a little more urgently and then realize that this was not the only effect his mother was having upon him! Suddenly alarm bells rang as his penis stiffened and swelled into a solid length of muscle that would make its presence felt if this lovely creature pressed herself against him in another demonstration of love and welcome! Fearful lest his mother became aware of his powerful erection John gently pushed her away until he held her at arms length intending to avoid mutual embarrassment by talking about his work or asking inconsequential questions about her health. Anything in fact that would avoid his mother feeling threatened, insulted even, by the lump that would press solidly against her should they share a close embrace again.
