I looked at her beautiful, sleeping face and reached out to caress her cheek softly. For years I had loved this little angel and tonight my dreams had come true. The fact that she was married didn’t matter at all. She was my true love and no other woman would ever be able to compare. As quietly as I could, I got dressed and sneaked outside to the backyard where I sat down on a chair and lit a cigarette. Memories pushed their way to the front and I happily let myself reminisce of my past.
“Chris! Look at what I… What are you doing?” a 5-year old Disa asked, confusion written all over her face. My eyes flickered between Disa and Jenny, my current girlfriend, who was helping me to baby-sit my sister. Desperately I tried to come up with an answer that she would understand.
I got up from the couch and crouched down in front of this innocent little girl, “We were kissing, sweetheart.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s what people who love each other do,” I explained and ruffled her curly hair.
“Why don’t you ever kiss me like that?” she pouted and looked at me with her big, blue eyes, making my mind go completely blank.
“Erm, D…” I stuttered embarrassed, trying to find a way out of this mess that I just created. “What did you want me to look at?” I finally managed to ask after a minute of silence.
I silently chuckled to myself as I lit my second cigarette. My baby sister had always been so innocent but my view of her changed when I found her profile on an adult site, where she wrote erotic stories. I had decided to read her submitted stories and felt shocked. The little sister that had always written cute, innocent romance stories, was suddenly writing very explicit incest stories! This fact led me to call her and question her motives. This behavior didn’t fit with the naive girl I knew. The answer was simple: she wasn’t this little girl anymore. She had grown up and I had to face that; my little fairy wasn’t little anymore. It feels like it was only yesterday, she was still convinced fairies existed.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Mark, my good friend, asked Disa, who was currently 6 years old and sitting in my lap.
“I’m going to be a fairy” she stated with sparkling eyes and a big smile.
His initial reaction was to start laughing hard. “You know that fairies don’t exist, right?” he finally said, ignoring my signs to zip it.
“He’s just joking, D. You can’t become something you already are” I hurried to say when her eyes started to fill up with tears.
“I don’t have any wings” she sniffled quietly and buried her face in my chest.
With a sigh I started stroking her hair while glaring at Mark. I never took it lightly when someone hurt or disappointed my sister, no matter who it was. “You’re still little and fairies get their wings when they’re grown up. Whether you have wings or not doesn’t change the fact that you’re my little fairy.”
Maybe I was being overprotective of her, but she needed that. My childhood was fantastic and my parents adored me. When Disa was born, my father became very cold and abusive towards her. Not once had our parents showed her love and care and I decided to take that upon myself. This made our relationship a very close one, filled with hugs, kisses and innocent cuddling. Never in a sexual way, mind you.
I did however make one huge mistake; I moved to my own place when I turned 18, leaving my 2-year old sister to fend for herself. Not one day went by when I didn’t regret that. I did however try to spend as much time as I could at home where I could be with her. At the age of 12 she declared me as her best friend and the one she looks up to all the time. By then my feelings had grown into more than just brotherly love but I could never tell anyone about that dark secret of mine.
She was 16 when I got angry at her for the first time. Apparently she had been seeing this one older guy and gotten pregnant. I was furious about the fact that she could do something so reckless with someone she hardly knew. I was even more pissed at the guy, for using her for his sick pleasures.
“How the hell could you let this happen? I thought I had raised you better than that” I fumed, referring to the fact that I had more or less raised her due to our parents lack of interest in her.
“I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry” she sobbed while letting her long hair cover her tear-stained face.
Matteo, her so-called boyfriend, just sat there with his arm around her shoulders, whispering stuff in what I presumed was Italian. I had a strong feeling that this guy was a major douche and I would have loved to beat the shit out of him. He seemed all lovey-dovey right now but I was certain that there were many things about him that were hidden beneath the surface. That this ass was 11 years older didn’t help her case at all.
“You’re sorry?! You’re 16! How in the love of God will a kid be able to raise a kid? Have you thought about that?”
“I’ll be taking care of her…” Matteo trailed off when my eyes bore into his. He wasn’t threatened though, I could see that clearly. Lazily he leaned back on the couch and looked back at me with a cool expression.
“How are you supposed to do that? From what I gather, you have your life in Italy and she has hers here in the UK,” I snapped as my anger was fueled by his cocky attitude.
“Easy, she will move to Italy. I have already discussed it with your parents and all arrangements will be taken care of.”
“Hell no! She’s not going anywhere, especially with you,” I yelled, ignoring D’s attempts to calm me down. I cursed the fact that I didn’t have a gun at my disposal right this second. Nothing would have pleased me more than to kill this fucker.
“You have no say in this. It’s her parents decision and they have already agreed to let me make her my wife,” he declared as he slowly stood up. I glared at him, trying hard to cover up that I felt intimidated by this 6’4” mountain of muscle.
“We’ll see about that,” I grumbled before I left to talk to our parents.
In the end I couldn’t do anything. Disa moved to Italy, gave birth to a son and got married to Matteo. Everything felt so dull, colorless and empty after she was gone. I hadn’t realized that she was the one that had made my world so bright and sunny. For weeks I moped around and refused to be social in any way. I needed my little fairy back but knew that it would never happen. With some effort I managed to get my act together and continue with my life.
Disa and I kept in touch with weekly phone calls, sometimes more often, and daily e-mails. Apparently she had married into the good life and got everything she wanted and more. Her marriage seemed to be a perfect one too with a loving husband that worshipped her. Twice a year I would visit her for couple of weeks but the picture didn't look quite right. She seemed out of focus. For every visit her bright eyes seemed to be a bit duller and sadder. She still smiled a lot and joked around with me, but sometimes the smiles seemed forced. I didn’t say anything though, and just hoped that she would tell me what was wrong. My desired explanation was given during my current visit.
Disa was happily chatting with an online friend while sitting on my lap. What I wouldn’t give to be able to put my arms around her and kiss her, pouring every little bit of love in that kiss. She had grown to be a gorgeous young woman. These 5 years she had spent in Italy hadn’t changed her much, except for the sadness in her eyes. She was still as bubbly, clumsy and adorable as she had always been.
My eyes were glued to the screen but my mind kept wandering to thoughts about her becoming my lover. Needless to say, I didn’t pay too much attention to what they were chatting about. I mentally kicked myself and focused on her conversation.
[20:04:55] Disa: He's hot but to have sex with him... nah, not happening
[20:06:43] Disa: I think I'll wait for my prince
[20:07:41] Doug: wait for sex?
[20:07:45] Doug: what about hubby?
[20:08:22] Disa: He's not even home at the moment :P
[20:08:43] Doug: he'll surely come home before prince arrives :P
[20:08:58] Disa: He has his whores..
That last line jumped out like it was a big neon sign and forcefully I turned her around. “He has his whores?! What does that mean?”
“Um.. It doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s just a…a… inside joke?” she mumbled and looked at the screen.
“No, it’s not. You will tell me and you will do it right now.”
She quickly typed to her friend that she would be back later and then looked down on her hands.
“Well, Matteo kind of goes to other girls sometimes,” she started quietly and hurriedly added, “but that’s ok since he loves only me,” when she saw my face. “Chris, it’s not a big deal. Don’t cause a scene when he comes home,” Disa tried to defend him, saying Matteo was afraid to hurt her, after all, he did have a monster for a dick. And his sex drive was just too much for just one woman. I just didn't buy it.
“It IS a big deal!” not referring to her husband’s cock. “ You do everything for this guy, leaving your friends and family included, and he can’t even be faithful! How long has this been going on?”
“The whole time,” she whispered and my heart broke when I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.
