It was my great good fortune a few short years ago to spend some time in Guyana, and I became a member of a small church in the capital, Georgetown. It was there that I met Mollie, with whom I shared a pew whenever she was there, and I have already written about her in a story called Gentle Persuasion. We got together only once, just before I left the country.
But Mollie wasn’t the only attractive middle-aged black woman in that congregation. There was Jean, a kindly little woman with a sparkle in her eyes. She was older and seemed tired and worn down by the grind of a long life. I didn’t have the heart to try it on with Jean, because I wasn’t sure she would go for it and if she didn’t react well it would spoil my relationship with her and, I felt, the entire community.
The horniest of all the women there was Jennifer, a lively character with proud breasts and a bottom that cried out to be worshipped. From the moment I saw her I wanted to crawl up her skirt and stay there.
Jennifer was feisty, though. That’s another word for argumentative, and it meant I sensed she was trouble – the sort with whom you could share a beautiful night of unspeakable debauchery but it would count for nothing the next time you were on opposite sides of a discussion.
She was a sort of sidekick to Alannah, a tall, statuesque piece of ebony beauty who was, in fact, too substantial and too perfect for most men to consider. She was bigger, heavier and stronger than me, and although very feminine, she was intimidating.
Alannah was always dressed to kill in tight, slinky short dresses and her Facebook page was a catalogue of glamour shots as she sprawled on sofas and beds, a come-hither look in her eyes.
She was about as far removed from the stereotype of a church minister as I could imagine, and yet that was her ambition. St Barney’s had no regular priest because it was too small to justify the expense, so on many occasions one of us was called upon to do the honours, leading the service. Sometimes it was Alannah and sometimes it was me, which she resented greatly, as I was a middle-aged white man reeking of privilege and clearly not to be trusted. All of this radiated from Alannah’s eyes when I was in charge, and as Jennifer was her henchwoman, she glared too, but with less intensity because she gravitated naturally to the winning side, so she had half a foot in my camp.
On Alannah-Sundays I would sit, with or without my friend Mollie, and gaze in totally inappropriate lust at the woman who brought new depths of meaning to the term “lay preacher”. She would stand there, bursting out of a bright red sheath of manmade fibres while reading the call-and-response segments or giving a sermon which she always prefaced with an explanation that the message was going to be simple – a dig, as I saw it, at my more cerebral offering on the days when I was in charge.
My religious beliefs made it possible to resent her and love her at the same time, with the undercurrent of sexual lust pushing her further into the good side. It’s impossible to really dislike someone when your dearest wish is to take her clothes off and bury your head in her crotch.
I said nothing when the elders such as Mollie and Jean complained about their occasional leader’s outrageous mode of dress.
So that was the cast of this Sunday show. An embarrassment of riches, to use that peculiar old phrase. It was hard to concentrate in the presence of such pulchritude.
While I took the softly-softly approach with Mollie, for whom I had genuine feelings, that wasn’t satisfying the cravings that each service only aggravated.
One Sunday when Mollie was absent, I found myself sitting next to Sybil, a regular, but not on a weekly basis. Sybil was there once a month or so. She was, you might say, amply upholstered. If she hadn’t managed her size so cleverly with her choice of attire and a certain inner confidence, she could have been a sad, untidy sight, but as it was, she elevated herself far above her natural station in the beauty stakes. She wore blouses that probably weren’t meant to be tight but which hugged her body and showcased her breasts, while her thighs appeared firm beneath the sleek black trousers which wrapped them.
Sybil sat too close to me, her legs touching mine from hip to calf. I didn’t flinch and she didn’t readjust, which was all we both needed to know. As we rose and sat down again we remained conjoined, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Alannah, who cast disapproving looks in my direction, attempting to separate us with her eyes.
After the service, I offered Sybil a life home. I had no idea where she lived and it turned out to be in the opposite direction from my place, in a quiet street near an army base. She invited me in.
Sybil’s house was alive with the smell of roast chicken, which she had cooked by courtesy of the timer of her electric oven.
“Are you doing anything for lunch?” she asked.
“Cheese sandwich,” I replied.
“Plenty of food here,” she said, “and some wine if you like.”
He looked at me hesitantly, as if half expecting me to admonish her for her sinful lifestyle.