Philip wasn't too long in getting ready and soon he reappeared to help me wash and dress.

As before, he washed me carefully and tenderly, ensuring that I was perfectly clean with no area left untouched. It was so erotic, but there was to be no lovemaking this time, I was too upset about forgetting Valentines day and about Sam. I just had to get out of the house to try to undo some of the hurt I had caused.

Helping me to dress, Philip helped me on with my panties as I found it too painful to bend as yet. He stretched them over the plaster then gently pulled them up my legs while I lifted my bottom off the chair so he could pull them up.

He lingered for a moment then kissed my navel. I held his head while he rested it on my lap, his arms around my waist.

After a minute or too he stood up and passed me my bra then he went to pick up my black slacks.

"Philip!" I exclaimed, "I can't wear those again! They will be standing up on their own if I do. I will wear a dress today."

He looked at me for a moment before frowning and saying, "But Anna, It's barely above freezing outside and you can’t wear tights."

He was right, of course, but then he went on,

"I know! How about those loose summer pants you hate so much? They will help keep the chill off your legs and you can wear them under a maxi dress maybe?"

"Hmmm, not really winter wear, but it is not a bad idea."

I thought about how to do this without looking too out of place and then,

"I know! I have a heavy maxi skirt from years ago, I will wear that over them. Will you get it for me please?" I told him where to find it, "Oh! and the royal blue satin blouse too please."

When he returned, Philip helped me into the navy blue velvet maxi skirt after I had put on the blouse and wide trousers then stood back and said,

"You look a million dollars!"

"Even on crutches?" I pouted.

"Even on crutches," was his loving reply.

Before we headed for the car I put on a thick, black wool coat with gold embroidered toggle loops that reached just below my knees and a warm fur hat. I looked a bit like a Russian Tsarina, but it was a style that I liked and suited my dark hair and figure. I knew from his proud look that Philip liked it too!

On the way to town I asked Philip what he planned to do while I shopped, and he said he would wait in the car for me.

"Oh, Philip," I protested, "I could be ages. Why don't you go home, and I will call you when I am ready."

"But what if you need my help?"

"You are only fifteen minutes away, I will be fine," I reassured him, "And then I won't rush around worrying about you getting cold and bored in the car."

"Well... Okay," he grudgingly answered, "If you are sure."

On arrival, he helped me out of the car. I kissed him and said,

"I'll be fine. I won't leave the shopping centre so don't worry about me."

I received the answer I knew he would give.

"I will worry about you, Sweetheart, until I come back for you."

Getting back into the car, he left and for the first time in two days I was alone.

I headed slowly and carefully to the coffee shop where I planned to get my thoughts together about what to do with my time and. Once inside, I chose my favourite sofa and relaxed into it, my leg tucked carefully up to the window where it couldn't be knocked.

Because of my crutches, the waitress brought my drink to me.

I had seen her many times, a pretty woman, about my age with a beautiful slim, small busted figure accentuated by the black tee shirt and pencil skirt she wore over black tights. Her long dark hair was tied back in a pony tail.

"There you go, Anna," she said as she placed the cup and saucer on the table in front of me. "How is the ankle today?"

"Not too bad thank you, Alison," I answered, grateful for the small talk, "the pain killers seem to be doing their job now."

"That's good," she smiled, "can't stop I'm afraid, bit busy." and was gone.

I had fantasised about her in the past but not today. My mind had room only for Sam now so I took out my phone and dialled.

I waited and then the ringing tone began... and continued, until...

"Hello," a small, almost inaudible voice answered.

"Sam? It's Anna."

"I know," she answered quietly.

With my heart in my mouth I continued, "Sam, are you alright?"

"I don't know," she whispered, " Why didn't you answer my calls? I tried all day yesterday. You said you wouldn't let me down but you wouldn't talk to me."

I could easily hear the sadness in her voice.

"I couldn't Sweetheart. I broke my phone after I left you. I got a new one yesterday but couldn't use it until this morning. Didn't you get my message?"

"Yes but I thought you might be trying to let me down gently."

My stomach was churning, Sam was so unsure of me.

"Sam, there is more. I cannot come to you."

There was silence, and then she whispered,

"No, I didn't think you would want to once you got home. Back to your life."

Her voice was breaking.

"No, Sam! Of course I want to! My phone wasn't the only thing I broke that night. I broke my ankle too so I can't drive!"

Again, silence. I could almost here her brain working. Was I telling the truth or just making excuses?.

"Sam," I said again. "Sam, I promised you I wouldn't let you down and that I would always tell you the truth. I may have to lie to others now, and that is destroying me but I swear on my own life that I will never, ever lie to you."

More silence. I could hear her breathing.

"Sam, please believe me."

"I believe you," she said at last. "I am sorry I said I hate you."

"It's okay. I understand how you felt. I didn't expect anything different, but I honestly couldn't contact you until today."

"I am sorry I doubted you, Anna.." She sounded relieved. "Are you hurt badly?"

I told her what had happened on the station that night and that I would be in plaster for some two months. She listened intently until, finally, she said, "Anna, you must have been through hell. I'm so sorry I didn't trust you."

She paused then and slowly started to speak again.

"Anna, I have to tell you something."

"It's okay, Sam," I knew what she was going to say. She had thought about things, maybe talked with her mother, and decided she didn't want me any more.

"I understand. I promised I would accept whatever you decided. I will miss you so much, but I will not harass you."

"No, Anna! It's not that. I have thought long and hard about us, about what has happened between us. I hope you will not be angry with me but I believe I have fallen in love with you."

"Oh, Sam, how could I be angry with you for that," I felt strangely elated., "I love my husband, of that I have no doubt, but..."

I paused as what I was about to say floated around in my mind.

"But, Anna?"

I could hear the fear in her voice.

"I think I love you too Sam."

I heard her choke back a sob. She didn't speak right away but then answered:

"What do we do now?"

"I don't know. I have a lot of thinking to do. We are going to hurt so many people, and I can't stand the thought of it."

I wished I'd had a crystal ball at that moment because I really couldn't see what lay ahead. I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't even know what I wanted.

I wanted Sam, of that I was sure but what was equally certain was that I didn't want to lose Philip.

"Did you tell your mother," I asked eventually.

"No, well, sort of," she spoke haltingly, "I told her that I had met someone and that you were married. I had to explain why I was so upset," she paused, "I didn't tell her you were a woman, Anna, I am such a coward, I'm sorry."

You are not a coward, Sam," I reassured her, "You just didn't want to say too much, too soon. What did she say?"

"She wasn't pleased at first. She was so happy with my dad she didn't think I was being fair to go with someone who was married."

She paused and then,

"She began to come round though, when she saw I was upset and needed her."

"I told you, didn't I?" I wanted to try to make her feel better, "You are her daughter. She loves you. She may not agree with what you do but she will not turn against you."

"Yes Anna, you did tell me."

Sam waited but I didn't know what to say.

She was the next to speak.

"I want to see you, Anna, to be with you again."

I wanted that too but just at that moment I didn't know how we could be together. I didn't reply.

"Anna, don't you want to see me?"

"Oh Sam. Yes, of course I do but I just don't know how." I could hear her breathing becoming laboured again as I continued, "I have to think, Sam. We will find a way, but at this moment I don't know what to do. I won't let you down though, I promise."

"I trust you, Anna. With all my heart I trust you."

"I have to go now. I have so much to do. Will you be okay?" My heart was beating like a drum.

"Yes. Now I will be. Now I know you are still here for me." Her words sounded hopeful now, like she had a future again.

"I will call you later but I don't know when. I depends when I can be alone."

"Okay," she answered. "I love you."

I paused before I answered.

"I love you too Sam. Take care and be happy."

"I will try but I know how hard this is going to be. Especially for you, Anna."

I pressed 'end call' and sat for a moment, her words ringing in my ears, "...especially for you."

She was right. I still didn't know what to do. For the first time in my life I had no clear direction. From the day I was born my life had followed a natural and direct path. My parents brought me up to think for myself. I went to school where I knew I had to work hard to get on.

I met Philip there. my first and only boyfriend. There were no choices, I just went along my pre-ordained route through life.

I passed all my exams and went on to follow the career I had chosen. It all slipped into place so easily. The possibilities presented themselves, and all I had to do was work hard and live my perfect life.

Now, though, I was in trouble. My life had suddenly hit a junction which was not signposted. I had no inner sense to direct me, nothing to say, 'this is what you must do, get on with it'. Whatever my decision, disaster was sure to follow. I realised then that I had not been the clever girl and smart woman I thought I was. Everything had been handed to me, and now I had failed the ultimate test and was about to pay the consequences!

When Penny had gone off the rails I supported her and looked after her as best I could. Together we beat her problems and now she was a strong, independent woman, but even that had been straight forward from my point of view. I had a goal, Penny's well-being, but now I felt that I was standing without any clue as to what to do next, which direction to take.

I looked at my phone. I had to call Penny. I needed help for the first time in my life and there was no-one else to turn to.

I fast-dialled her number.

It rang.

"Hi Anna! New phone working okay then?" She sounded cheerful as always.

"Yes," I replied, trying to emulate her mood, "Are you free at all today?"

"I can be, do you want to meet?"

"I would love to if you have time."

I tried to sound upbeat but she knew me so well.

"Anna, is everything okay?"

"I am just fed up with being laid up."

I only half lied.

"No," she said, "There is something else. I knew when I saw you yesterday. Where are you?"

"Coffee shop," I sort of whispered the reply.

"Order me a Latte," she said firmly, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes!"

She was true to her word. she walked through the door just as Alison put two mugs on the table in front of me.

"Thank you," I said as Penny took off her coat and sat down next to me.

"Now," she said, "what's it all about? What's happened?"

I looked at her face. She was concerned.

I didn't know how to start so I didn't. I just sat looking at her.

"Anna, you are scaring me. What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to say it," I spoke quietly, slowly.

"Say what Anna? What is so serious that you can't tell me?"

She took my hands in hers.

"We have known each other virtually all our lives. Nothing can change that."

I hung my head, I couldn't look at her.

"I am having an affair."

There, I said it!

"An affair? You? But why, don't you love Philip any more?"

She looked incredulous as I continued.

"With a woman..."

Penny's eyes opened wider, if that was possible, and her mouth slowly opened.

"A wo... with a wo... What?!" She couldn't believe what I had just said.

"I am sorry, Penny, I honestly am."

I stared at the floor

"But why, Anna?"

Her face was a picture of astonishment.

"I don't know. I fell in love with her. I didn't plan it. I have been noticing women more and more recently, and when I met Sam it just happened. I couldn't help it, I'm so sorry, Penny."

She looked at me and lifted my face to look at her.

"No, silly, I meant why are you sorry?"

"Because we have been friends for so long. I didn't want to upset you as I kept it secret from you."

She smiled then and her face softened.

"Anna, you silly girl. I am not upset. I love you very much, you know that, but I never had any thoughts about sleeping with you and I don't mind that you have found love. I am happy for you... I think... if it makes you happy."

She put her arms around me and held me tight,

"We will always be friends, whatever happens."

We sat in silence for a while.

"Anna, what about Philip?" a pause, "He doesn't know does he?"

"No, he doesn't but he knows something is wrong. He knows me nearly as well as you do and it's killing me. That's why I called you, I had to talk to somebody."

Penny didn't say anything but looked thoughtful until,eventually, she said,

"I have told you many times, I like Philip, you know that, but you are my best friend, almost my sister. You are my priority and more important to me than anyone.”

“Penny,” I took her hands in mine, “I don’t deserve you.”

“I think you do, Anna. You never judged me when I went off the rails. Anything could have happened to me but you were there, looking out for me. You never gave up on me, even when I was horrible to you. Now it is my turn to look after you. Whatever you decide to do, I will back you all the way.”

We talked for a while and I told her everything. She listened to every word.

In the end she said,

“So now you need to see her, but you can’t because you cannot get away, right?”

“Right,” I said.

“Okay. Then there is no problem is there?”

“How no problem?” I was puzzled. “She can’t come to my house can she? I couldn’t rub Philips nose in it. Have you forgotten what I said? I can’t hurt him, like that.”

She laughed.

“Of course she can’t come to yours, silly, but she can come to mine can’t she?”

“You would do that for me?” my heart was jumping for joy.

“Of course I would. I love you too you know. We are as one, you and I. Nothing will come between us.”

I squeezed her hands tightly.

“Oh Penny, thank you. Thank you so much!”

“Right then,” she stood up. “That’s settled. I must go now. You phone Sam and arrange it for tomorrow. Just let me know when and I will come and pick you up.”

She turned to leave.

“And tell Philip we are having a girly day.”

I smiled happily as I watched her go then called Sam right away to tell her the good news. She sounded really pleased and said she would come over about Eleven.

Sitting for a moment I contemplated my future. Tomorrow, I would be happy for a few hours, after that? Who could say.

Now it was time to think about Philip and what to get him. I owed him big time and this was going to be something special.

As I struggled to my feet, Alison came over to clean the table and take the empty cups.

“You look much happier than when you first came in,” she laughed.

“Yes, I am,” I replied and thanked her, “Penny is such a tonic. She has been my best friend almost all my life.”

If I had two working legs I would have skipped out of there, but instead, I hobbled out on my crutches humming Olivia Newton John’s ‘Sam’ as I went...

To be continued...