The popular clique started talking about her behind her back. They would go around telling anyone who would listen that Addison was really lesbian, and trying to convert them. When I heard this I thought it was absurd, but made me wonder if she truly was lesbian. I had been unsure about my own sexuality for about a year, and haven’t dared to do anything about it.
I have friends, but I don’t dare talk to them about it. We live in a small town, being in a private school of all girls doesn't help. If it gets out, it’s kind of like what Addison has to go through. She’s often made fun of, but I can’t help but fancy her. I think she is beautiful, and she has the softest, sweetest voice. She’s also carefree, and doesn't let the rumours get to her. I really like that about her.
She’s of average height, with dark hair, and a sweet smile. The school uniform fits her curves perfectly in all the right spots. I've never seen her in anything else, but I’d like to. We've only chatted a few times, I’m extremely shy and don’t make friends well. I’m another target of the popular girl’s assaults.
My best friend Nancy is someone I can tell almost anything to. We've known each other since freshman year, when we both joined Haven. My other friend, Liz, joined our twosome in sophomore year, and we've been inseparable since. It's senior year this year, and the school year is nearly done. We’re all planning on going to the same college, so we can remain close.
But, back to Addison, I've wanted to make friends with her. I figure inviting her to a sleepover with my friends and I is the best idea. I've asked my friends and they don’t mind, they think it would be good for someone to be nice to her, for a change.
The bell rings, giving us a seven minute warning that class is going to begin. I rush towards Addison’s locker, and spot her there.
“Addison, hey, I have a question,” I smile, feeling a little nervous.
“Erm, hey Jenna, right? What’s up?” She smiles back at me. It’s not the kind of annoyed smile, which is like go away, I don’t want to really talk with you smile, but a real one.
It helps me relax; I take a deep breath before I begin. “Ah, well me, Nance and Liz were wondering if you’d like to join us this weekend. We get together at one of our places, hang out, order in, and just do whatever. What do you think?”
The moment I ask, I feel silly again. The heat rises in my cheeks. It sounded better in my head. Why does it feel like I’m asking someone out on a date? I guess in my own ways, I kind of am. I want to get to know her more, to see if she’s really into girls.
“Seriously? We've never really talked though,” she looks at me, raising an eyebrow.
“I know, sorry about that. I’m just really shy. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” I confess, but the hurt is clear in my words.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Oh fuckit, why not? Do you need me to bring anything?” Her smile is wider, and she looks pleased I asked. It makes me blush further.
“Erm, just a pillow, and whatever you want. It’s covered. Here, this is my number. We’re also doing it at my place this weekend,” I scribble down my number and address on a piece of paper. “So, tomorrow, we usually meet up about seven, sound good?”
“That works for me, gives me a chance to do my chores beforehand,” Addison lets the last bit whisper out, smiling again.
“Wicked, I’ll see you then,” I go to turn on my heel. I have the biggest smile on my face, feeling flush with excitement.
“Oh, Jenna?” I hear her call after me.
I turn back towards her, “Yeah?”
“You look really cute when you blush, you should do it more,” she giggles, and twirls, walking to her class as the bell rings.
She leaves me standing there, blushing so hard. My heart slamming in my chest, I go to class with a silly smile. I text the girls and let them know Addison is coming. Both seem excited, just not as excited as I am, that’s for sure.
The rest of the day goes by quickly. When I get home, I help make dinner. I explain to my dad that another girl is coming over. He tells me that he’s glad that I’m making more friends. I can’t help but think of wanting her in more than a friend way. I don’t know why I feel so strongly about her. I hardly know her. Whenever we have class together, I can’t help but look at her. I daydream about her as well; she visits my night dreams at times. I do fancy her very much.
Friday evening comes quickly, texting all three girls about the details, we agree to watch a film. We decide to watch an epic chick flick. Surprisingly it’s Addison who shows up first; she is about fifteen minutes early. When I open the door, I can’t help but stare. It’s the first time I've seen her out of uniform.
Simply wearing form fitting jeans, with a graphics t-shirt I just want to strip her naked with my eyes. I blush, looking away.
“Wow, nice place!” She says, side stepping me as I let her in.
I smile, “thanks, we do alright. It’s just me and my dad. Let me show you where you can put your stuff.”
We head downstairs, where we have a lounge kind of place. It’s normally where the girls and I stay when they sleep over. Dad bought a few air mattresses; the sofa also pulls out into a bed. The flat screen covers the back wall, lined with hundreds of DVDs.
“This is the chick cave, since daddy doesn't really come down here. I've taken over, well, and the girls, too. You can put your stuff anywhere. You want anything to drink?”
I offer, not knowing what to say. I feel shy, almost a little foolish. I shouldn't feel so shy, it’s not like I don’t know her at all.
“Sure, do you have any Pepsi?”
“Yeah, of course, it’s my favourite!”
“Mine too!” She giggles at me, walking towards the mini fridge, I hand her a can. I take one, cracking them at the same time.
We fall into a conversation, more about her than me. She tells me that her dad did get transferred from one company place to another. It’s the fourth time it’s happened, so it’s nothing new for her. She’s been all over. She was born in California, from there she went to Alabama at nine, when she was thirteen they moved to Montana, at fifteen moved to Florida. The day after her seventeenth birthday, her dad informed her they’d be moving up here.
“For a long time I was angry at my dad. I fit best in Florida. I didn't mind it here, before the crap with the popular girls went down,” she looked down, almost as though she hated saying it.
“I know it can be hard, they've been making fun of me since day one. Four long years of the crap, but it’s almost over, right? And now we can be friends,” I smile at her.
“I’d like that, a lot.” As she says this, she reaches out, resting her free hand on mine. It makes my heart skip a beat. I begin to blush softly. “You’re blushing again, Jenna, it really does suit you,” she whispers.
Before I can say anything, I hear the door upstairs swing open. Nancy and Liz come down, laughing about something. We all say hello, and formally introduce ourselves. We all seem comfortable with one another, no awkwardness which makes me happy. Curling up on the sofa, after putting together a snack, we start P.S I Love You, it’s a favourite between the girls and I. We find out it’s also Addison’s favourite.