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After the spark

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239 words 239 words
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I can’t be what you need.
I watch your lips as they form a smile, tell a story.
But I will never kiss them
For I am not for you.

My heart is not only mine.
I gave it away long ago.
Wrapped it in colourful paper and laid it
at the feet of my lover.
Freely. Willingly.
It has been tended well, nurtured and allowed to grow.
How could I do any less with his?

People talk about the spark like it is something to be grasped.
Clenched fist seeking instant gratification.
Impatience betraying understanding
That the spark is not the reason.
It is the catalyst.

I do not feel for him what I used to.
Nor would I want to.
Our spark ignited a fire that has burned low with time.
Embers glowing peripherally
Like a warm hand on my shoulder
That will lead me home.

This fire lies dormant.
Fed by the oxygen on my breath
By every whispered ‘I love you’
Until the last breath leaves my body.
Yet it will flash and spit
When disturbed.
Waiting to burn the fool
Who thinks this flame can be tamed.

No, I am not for you.
But do not think that I don’t wonder. Consider.
Do not think me unaffected.
Do not think that I don’t feel the spark.
It’s just simply that I made a promise

And I know what comes after.

Published 
Written by Jen
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