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Appraisal
By
Lupus
Lupus
online

Appraisal

Tags: love
Just how much am I worth?
So close, you and I
To the moment
I've been waiting for
So long
Since we said goodbye.

Since I saw your face last
While we held hands
And cried
Our kisses fell like rain
Surged like storms
Lingered as snow.

You kissed my wet cheeks
With flowing tears
Now flecked red
Bleeding from the cuts on my face
Shaking hands clutch the razor's edge.

Trying to look my best for you
Stroking the smooth skin
Now cracked
Broken
Wrinkled with worry.

Will you see how much I've changed?
Will you see my faults?
Frailties and weaknesses?
Will you change your mind?

Am I good enough?
Am I worthy
Of you?

Your love and care?
So precious.

Fingers pinch
My flabby skin
Smooth out my hair
And ruffle it up again
Wondering what's changed
Wondering what you'll think.

Upset.
Vulnerable.
Worried.
Worthless.

I shake as I go to you
Quivering with nerves
Excitement
Fear
Perhaps there's someone new
Maybe I'm no good for you.

I pray to see your face
Through the thronging crowd
Validate reality
Settle my fears
Irrational thoughts crash between my ears.

I wait
For you
For your face in the crowd
Your appraising eyes
Valuing me
Validating me.

You are the only one who can
Make me feel so small
Make me laugh, cry
Feel so tall.

You're my deepest low
My scariest high
The key to my soul
My core and my heart.

I belong to you
Yours for the taking
I wait
For your appraising gaze
Impatient and content.

I see you
Through the bodies you emerge
Standing before me
I feel naked
Bare
Awaiting your judgment.

The beautiful face creases
The soft lips split
The sunlight of your glorious smile
Warming me
Hotter and hotter until our bodies meet
Pressing together with unbridled heat.

Your lips on mine
Hand in hand
We cling to the light of each other.

My appraisal?
Priceless.

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