Concerning Your Penis (Now That You Dumped Me)
Words written to her ex-lover by his mistress on learning that he is leaving her
Well you said your wife's a liar when she said your prick's no use.
But on the subject of your penis she was tellin' you the truth.
I don't need seven inches or an eleven inch surprise.
But man oh man, your dick's just small, it's hardly any size.
I like a cock that's meaty, a cock that's thick, a cock thats round.
But when you dropped your trousers, a joke is what I found
I've never seen so tiny and when erect it looks quite spent.
Rather short and rather floppy, rather thin and yes its bent.
When we say that size don't matter it's a lie and that's a fact.
Your flabby piece of pizzle would embarrass even a rat.
You said that it would fill me, you said you'd satisfy.
But a pimple, not a penis is what I found beneath your fly.
Your lips made me ecstatic when you pressed them up to mine.
Your fingers made me tremble sending shivers up my spine.
Your tongue put me in heaven when it touched me on my clit.
Your only little problem was your microscopic dick.
I gave you love forbidden, love that's daring, love thats sin.
Your love was promised to another but still I took it in.
I never said choose between us, that choice was forced by her.
Never threatened to take the children, why are you so unfair?
And so you went a running to reclaim your former mate
To repair the love you shattered, you think I was your mistake
You believe her when she tells you that she has forgiven all.
But the brutal honest truth is that your dick is just too small.
From: Bitter and Twisted: A Collection of Sexual and Erotic Verse.