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Defeated

Wipe the tears from my eyes as I sit here alone, wondering when the day will come when he finally loves me. When he decides that it's alright to accept that he can know that I am his. My heart has belonged to him since the day I met him. But as he beholds my heart, he is crushing me, killing me slowly because without him, I don't exist. I live for him, I breath for him. Whenever my heart beats it's for him and to know that quiet possibly, I might get the chance to know that I can be his everything makes me smile, makes me cry, makes every emotion inside me bubble up to the point of explosion. But to know that at the moment I'm not what he wants. I'm not who he wants or needs, to know that everything I live for might come crashing down around me kills me. I'm defeated
I'm defeated in every single way possible but there is nothing I can do because to me, I'm his but to him, I'm another face in the crowd, another flower in the garden that he could pick or step on. It crushes me to know that no matter what I do, I am defeated. To Love Is To Sacrifice and my sacrifice to him is to live for him, to breath only and solely for him.
To give up myself and everything I believe in to the one person who I couldn't live without is my ultimate sacrifice. Every little imperfection he has, makes him perfect to me and to know that I'm not the person he lives for, that he made the ultimate sacrifice for, kills me, because he isn't mine to hold, to touch, to cry with, to yell at, to do everything that love was meant to be
and if I had the choice, I wouldn't change it for the world, because if he loved me like I loved him, if we exsisted as one there would be no possible way we could live. So for now and forever, I sit as a shadow along this wall called life and I wait as that lonely flower, waiting to either be crushed or picked.

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