You are a dichotomy of conflicting desires;
Caused by an incident that left your mind mired.
It makes me feel so very sorry for you;
When it comes to intimacy you don’t have a clue.
The two things you want will always oppose each other;
You can’t marry that little girl and still have a gay lover.
Closed off with a wall that won’t let anyone in;
Hiding all of your secrets and burying your sins.
Staying anonymous so no one finds out;
Surrounded by discrimination of the devout.
To keep the family, friends and love that you need;
You give up your true self and your tormented soul bleeds.
I once got a glimpse of the beauty inside of you;
To me it was something perfect and so brand new.
So damaged and broken I wanted to carry you away;
But all you did is run from me when I wanted you to stay.
I have my own demons and you know how to press my buttons;
I let you get away with it because you’re such a sexy stud muffin.
And because I have a soft spot in my heart for you;
Until it totally froze over and I had to be through.
You will never be completely satisfied;
Until you can open up and let someone inside.
I was hoping someday maybe that person might just be me;
But when I pushed your buttons back your true colors did I see.
Maybe it is not as complicated as I think;
And you’re just a user who acts like a rat fink.
Or maybe you really are the beautiful soul I longed for;
You are a tough nut I couldn’t crack so I ran for the door.
Emotional baggage we both have more than our fair lot;
Knowing your heart is closed off leaves my stomach in a knot.
Then I think “Oh well he just wasn’t that into me”;
It will be best for us both if I just take my leave.
Because being left over and over again by you;
My mind couldn’t take it when I wanted the truth.
For a few years thinking of you was such a big part of my life;
But you cut out my heart with the skill of a surgeon’s knife.
I really hope someday you can let someone inside;
Show them your true self and release all of your lies.
I doubt that that person you open up to is going to be me;
Being part of your life is something you think you don’t need.
In the distant future I hope you don’t have an epiphany;
Then become filled with regrets for what you didn’t let be.
I hope you are not filled with loneliness and feel lost;
Once I would have done anything for you no matter the cost.
The most precious of souls frequently do remain hidden;
Forced into the shadows by the harsh sting of the forbidden.
This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than Lushstories.com
with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
<a href="https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/hidden-inside.aspx">Hidden Inside</a>