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I Remember These

Tags: love, regret
Faded snatches of memory jarred free.
I remember the strangest things
A patchwork of images that don't make much sense.
Sitting cross-legged on a threadbare rug
tiny faded lavender petals and green vines interwoven
snakelike upon a sandy background

I remember watching a pool of milk
translucent as it slowly spread across the smooth surface
of a stainless steel counter
eagerly awaiting the moment when it would reach the edge
and spill over upon the linoleum floor

I remember the feel of rough hands against the skin of my stomach
and the warmth of lips between my breasts
and the sound of my own breathing
quickening as desire rolled her giddy way
up and down my legs

I remember learning Chinese on a warehouse floor
symbols drawn in playground chalk
the only way to speak
I don’t recall his name
But I remember how his breath smelled like licorice

I remember the taste of hot corn muffins
and the greasy feel of butter upon my fingers as I licked them clean
and how I began to wonder
if I would see the next sunrise
sometimes I lay awake all night and watch her sleep and I am able to forget everything

Love is an egg, a fragile little life
kept warm and safe within it's hard shell
until one day it breaks free into the world
I remember that day so clearly
watching it fall
the sound of it shattering
into millions
upon millions
of splinters
frantically grasping at tiny fragments in the air
watching as they slipped through my fingers
gone forever

It doesn't seem that long ago that my heart
knew the beauty in the deep dark silences of the night
If only I could retrace my steps
piece it back together then
I could remember love.

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