First it’s the panic that sets in,
That sinking feeling knowing I am never going to win.
With every single fiber of my being,
An image of you is all I wanted to be seeing.
You denied my eyes the simplest of pleasures,
The smallest thing I would always treasure.
It is so much more than just missing you,
Like I can’t breathe and don’t know what to do.
Hollow and empty there is a big part of me missing,
Because I lost the one I wished I was kissing.
He isn’t just lost only to me,
He hides himself so no one can see.
I guess it got to be too much for him,
I was his last biggest sin.
He walked away and left it behind,
The part of himself that was mine.
I represent everything he does not want to be anymore,
Trying to keep it all a secret I’m sure became a chore.
I am sure he does not really get it,
That my broken heart wasn’t because he left.
I always knew that was what he would eventually do,
None the less my feelings for him just grew.
A cat and mouse game he played with me,
Saying goodbye again and again but then never leaving.
Coming back over and over again,
My will he always managed to bend.
Who you are deep inside does not really change,
It will come back to haunt you in the long range.
He likes to think he’s a really nice guy,
But all he really does is tell lies.
He does it by omission not letting anyone see,
Who he really is inside and how sexy he can be.
It is his choice how he wants to live his life,
I can’t help but think that choice will cause him strife.
I don’t think I will ever hear from him again,
Forever my broken heart will not mend.
It will be left wondering what happened to him,
If he is very happy with his new beginning.
With me he will never have any disguise,
I can see straight through all of his lies.
Even so I still truly accept him,
I want him to be successful and always win.
To have everything that he dreams of,
Even if there is no room for my love.
Though our last meeting was quite unkind,
Any time he wants he can come back and be mine.
I’m a fool for him and that hasn’t changed,
There is no reason for it, nothing I can explain.
He just stole a piece of my heart,
It belongs to him now even though we’re apart.
I have to take responsibility for tempting him,
When I wanted him back I knew just what to send.
To make him come running right to me,
Making our dreams come true is what I wanted to be.
I have to thank him for making me see,
Everything I’d been repressing inside of me.
I will never forget him throughout the years,
And always dream of having him near.
It lives inside me now and will always be mine,
The big part of himself that he left behind.