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Sick

I try not to think and let my heart do that talking. My heart seems to have a brain of its own...
I feel sick.
Sick of waiting,
Sick of wanting,
Sick of not saying.
Sick of dreaming,
Of a fairytale.
But then there is that silver lining.
It never fails,
To light
The night sky.

I break down,
I cry.
I'm so sick.
When do I get to be happy,
Content?
When do I get to
Wear a smile?
Not fake.
Genuine,
Finally something that's real.

But isn't it crazy,
I tell myself no.
Convinced that it's stupid,
I am destined for doom.
So I sit,
Sick of it all.
Waiting.
Wanting.
Is this all wrong?

I want to go,
But yet I stay,
In this place I call home.
But what kind of home,
Is without two parents,
Together how it should be.
No wonder I do not believe.
In myself,
In love,
In dreams.

But still I hope,
Cling to the happy moments,
That fade into blackness,
Not remembered.
Blacked out,
Erased,
No memory,
Just emptiness.
I am so sick,
But I have no choice,
I am human,
I feel.
I wait.
I dream.
I hope,
One day,
Fate will take it's toll.

Sick of waiting,
Wanting,
Lusting,
Yearning.
I'm convinced.
I'm hopeless,
Pathetic,
To think there can be a cure.
No cards on the table,
I keep them hidden.
But in the end,
If fate comes knocking,
I will answer,
And for once,
I won't be sick.

I want to say it,
But still I hope.
I will not be brave enough,
I will hold it in,
Until it makes me sick,
Disease overtaken my body,
My organs shut down,
All because I can't form words.
I want to,
But I am to scared.
Afraid,
Terrified,
You won't feel the same.
And that would make me sicker.
This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than Lushstories.com with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © All stories, fiction or nonfiction, are written by unicorn92. Do not claim these works as your own. All character names are made up, and if it is something that happened with the two characters in real life, this is completely coincidental. All rights reserved to Megan.



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