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The Salutatorian

When a smart girl turns slutty . . .
My friends had asked, how was it so, that I had passed
From steadfast salutatorian to being
Such a promiscuous slut
(a redundancy of sorts, but not their words).
But I answered so disingenuously
And with so politely maintained a pretense
Of taking no offense at all:
“Oh my God, I know, I am soooo
Dissipated now, you would not believe!”

Ay, that was my very word: ‘dissipated.’
I think I said it with a little cough
As though I were clearing my throat of an
Intractable string of half-hour old jiz.

Sorry: that’s a disgusting image.
‘Dissipated’ itself is rather a
Meretricious word-- which in no way means
‘Merit’ or relates to merit at all; and,
Considering myself a member of the
Meritocracy in good standing
(whatever my extracurriculars)
I should hate to have to own up to it,
Which is why my thongs all hail from La Perla.

“What a revel! So lovely again to meet!--
Yes, girls, another Cosmo, please. I do
Seem to have something caught in my throat.
Now: whose husband is the one in the blue polo again?”

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © Copyright 2010 CeliaisAliena. All rights reserved.

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