Private pics, succulent lips, and naughty as can be,
the women in my emailbox love me honestly.
Oh, when was there such a time in all my history,
when women were so available to mediocre me?

Lauren tells me her body is heaven for any man,
and Pat says she loves to live in eastern Spokane
Terry Pie coos, “How do you do?” (She is my recurring fan.)
And I reply that I always do the best I can.

Michelle Higgins says, “I wish to flirt with you, boy!
Can you put on those lovely navy jeans for me?”
And then she sends me pics of her without a stitch,
pledging very good sex in virtual reality.

Anastasia is alone just 4.2 miles from home,
and seeks a reliable man.
Victoria asks if I have a Y-chromosome,
and wants me to call with a plan.

Guadalupe Sparks says, “I fell in love with you from the first sight!
Do you want to have someone new in your bed tonight?”
HotHoney tells me she has received no reply,
while Cecilia Roberson says she can’t wait for a good creampie.

The women in my emailbox are available to me,
temptresses all as you can see.
They cajole and flirt so endlessly,
that I never question their true identity.

So here I sit in my underwear and socks,
wondering which really and truly loves me.
I dwell upon the women in my e-mailbox,
and think how lucky can one guy be.