I woke up crying again this morning. I had another dream about Ben. The man I was with for almost two years. The man I planned on spending my life with. It wasn't an ordinary relationship. I met him online and we became fast friends. Talking day after day about anything and everything.
The main problem with this relationship was that I am married. Ben lived in a different country so there was never a real physical relationship, but after talking about what we liked sexually and we really got to know each other he talked me into adding Skype to my computer.
"I just want to see your beautiful face and really get to talk to you," he said. I finally gave in and we started having "dates". Needless to say we did a lot more than talk. At first, I was very shy. We talked for about ten minutes before he finally asked me to see my tits.
"Please baby, I love them. I really want to see more than the pictures you sent me." He could talk me into anything, so I slowly slid my shirt off, showing him my bra. He smiled and said, "Oh baby, please take that off, you are so beautiful."
Of course, thinking I was totally in love I smiled at him and pulled my bra off. Ben smiled really big and told me to touch them for him. "Make your nipples hard for me." I took my fingers and started rolling my nipples, making sure he was enjoying every minute of it. My nipples were rock hard. I was so turned on by doing this for him.
"Please baby, I know you are shy, but I want to see you naked." I was very unsure. I have always been shy about my body, and I didn't want to lose Ben by showing him my body.
"Ben, I'm not sure about that. I'm no skinny girl."
"You are beautiful sweetheart, please show me your body."
Those words and that smile were all it took. I pulled my shorts and panties down slowly, watching his face as I did. All the fear I had left as I seen the lust in his eyes. I know he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. I lay back on the bed and smiled at him. My pussy was starting to get wet just thinking about what I was doing.
Ben stood up and pulled his pants down. His hard cock stuck out, pointing straight at me. He started rubbing it telling me what he wanted to do to me.
"I want to suck your beautiful tits while I slide a finger in that wet pussy baby."
"Oh Ben, I want you so much."
"I want you too baby. Take your toy and slide it deep in there. Show me what you want me to do, please."
I did as he asked. I pulled my toy out and rubbed the head against my clit, slowly working back and forth from my hole to my clit. It felt so good I almost forgot Ben was watching.
"Slide it in there baby, fuck that pussy." I slid it in deep and started fucking myself. Ben was stroking his cock fast now.
"Cum for me baby, cover that toy with your juice." I was close, but I wasn't ready. I took my other hand and started rubbing my clit. I was moaning as I felt my orgasm building.
"That's it baby, cum for me," Ben moaned as I seen the first shots of cum rocket out of his beautiful cock. Seeing that was all it took and I started cumming too. My legs spread open for a man I had never met, tightening around my toy my body shaking hard as I cum.
When we finished, all we could do was smile at each other. I looked into his eyes and knew for sure I was deeply in love. It made no sense but I had never felt such a connection to any man before, not even my husband.
"I love you, Lily," Ben said with a smile.
"I love you too Ben, so much." I wanted to get on a plane at that moment and fly to him right then, but it wasn't meant to be.
About a year later, I found out that Ben had lied to me about so many things. He was married and had five other girlfriends besides me. Of course, I didn't find out from him. One of the girlfriends contacted me and let me know what was going on. I never heard from Ben again. He deleted his accounts and never answered any of my emails. My heart was broken. I didn't even get to say goodbye.
That is why I keep having dreams and why I have spent the last two months crying.
"You have to get over this," my best friend Jean told me. She is the only one who knew about Ben and wanted to go kill him. "That asshole isn't worth your tears!"
"I know but I can't figure out how. I was so stupid to believe all his lies. What was I thinking?"
"You weren't sweetie, your husband hasn't paid attention to you in fifteen years. You were lonely and he picked up on that. The problem is you deserve better than either of them."
"Thanks Jean, but I give up. I will just hang out at home and forget about what I need."
"No, what you need is a night out with me! Tell your husband we are having a girls night out Friday night. We are going to have some fun."
"Thanks Jean, but I don't think I would be much fun."
"Shut up and get a babysitter. Your ass is going out with me."
All I could do was laugh and tell her okay. Jean isn't a pushover for anything. I sent a text to my husband who I knew had plans for poker that night anyway and asked him if he thought his mom would babysit.
"You know she would love that. You need to get out honey, you have been so down lately. Go have fun, but don't let Jean get you into any trouble."
I kept trying to find excuses, but when Friday night rolled around Jean was knocking at my door. "Ready to go?"
"Not really, but lets go." I climbed into Jean's little sports car wondering what the hell I was doing. We stopped at a little diner not far from my house and ate. Jean was so excited.
"What are you up to?" I asked her.
"Who, me?" she asked back with a big grin on her face. "Nothing my friend, just excited for some fun. It has been way to long since we went out."
"I know, we will have to change that." We climbed back in the car and headed down the street to the local country bar.
"Take a drink of this," Jean handed me the flask she had in center console.
"Why not, I am going to let loose and enjoy this." I took a big drink and almost choked. It was strong! "What the hell is that?"
"Just some homemade moonshine," Jean replied. I could feel the burn all the way down my body. We pulled into the parking lot and made our way to the door. I was starting to loosen up by the time we made it to the bar and got ourselves another drink. We found a table close to the dance floor and started people watching, well I guess I should say man watching.
"Damn, he is fucking hot!" Jean said a lot louder than she should have. The guy turned and grinned at her. The next thing I know she is up there dancing with him. I finished my drink and started to head to the bar for another one. About the same time, the waitress put a drink on my table.
"This is from the guy over there." I turned to see who had sent it. There was a man on the far side of the bar. I couldn't see his face, just his outline.
"Please tell him thank you." She walked over to him and said something to him.
About that time I received a text from my husband. "Hope you are having fun! Love you!"
"I am, thank you and love you too!" I text him back. Sometimes he can act so sweet, but he is so clueless. He has no idea how he makes me feel sometimes. Like I am just another piece of furniture in the house.
I was finishing my drink when the waitress came back. "He asked me to give you this."
A folded up napkin was dropped in front of me. I opened it to find a small note "You are beautiful, please text me." His number was underneath.
I guess the drinks were kicking in, because I pulled out my phone and said, "Hi, thank you for the drink."
"You are welcome,"
"I am married, just out with my friend for a fun night."
"It's okay, so am I. I have a wonderful wife, I just stopped in for a drink. When I seen you I couldn't resist sending you a drink."
"I appreciate that, but if you have a wonderful wife, shouldn't you get home to her?" I asked.
"She is out with her friends tonight having a girls night of her own. I'm not ready to go home just yet."
"I understand that. This is silly to text, would you like to come over here and sit so we can talk?" I thought he had left it took so long for him to answer me back.
"I can't, not yet." I thought that was a weird answer, but I was half way drunk and didn't care that much anyway. Jean came over to get a drink.
"What are you doing playing on your phone instead of dancing?" I handed her the napkin. She smiled real big and said, "Go for it girl."
"He seems really nice, but we are just talking, nothing more."
Jean rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever you want, I have a good looking cowboy waiting for me on the dance floor."
I had to laugh at her. I wish I could be as carefree as she is, but I'm not. Jean walked back over and said, "Hey time for a bathroom break. Come on." As I stood up, I noticed the guy wasn't sitting at the bar anymore. I guess he left. I felt a little disappointed that he didn't come over before he left before introducing himself.
As I came out of the restroom, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Jean was in front of me, so I wasn't sure who it was. When I started to turn, he said, "Please, don't turn around, just let me lead you."
Jean turned around and smiled, "Have a great time you two!" as she bounced away back to the dance floor. I tried to stop her, but she was back on the dance floor.
"I'm not sure about this," I whispered.
"Just trust me, you will understand shortly I promise," the man whispered in my ear. His voice was so low I could barely understand him.
"I am married."
"I know, your husband is very lucky," He whispered as he pulled me backwards toward him. I could feel the warmth of his body pressing against mine. He lightly kissed my neck. I pulled away, but he pulled me closer.
"Please let me do this," He kissed my neck again. It had been a long time since anyone had done that. When we were first married, my husband always kissed me like that to let me know he wanted me.
His arms wrapped around me, pulling closer. "Please dance with me." I noticed a slow song was playing. I shook my head yes as we swayed to the beat. For some unknown reason I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. It felt like I had been released from all the pain I had been feeling.
"Who are you and what is going on? I know Jean would have never left me with you if she didn't trust you."
"Just keep that in mind," the stranger whispered. "I will let you know who I am when the time is right. Please just dance with me. Let me hold you for a while."
I don't know why, but I felt safe in his arms. We danced through three songs without saying a word. The man leaned down and kissed my neck again. This time I didn't resist
I pulled him closer. Needing to feel a closeness I haven't felt in years. What I felt with Ben was destroyed by his lies. Each touch and kiss from this man was restoring my heart and making me feel whole again.
I turned to face this man. I had to know who he was and why he had such a powerful effect on me. He resisted for a minute. "Please don't be mad when you see who I am."
I almost expected it to be Ben when he said that. I turned around and came face to face with my husband of twenty years.
"James, what is going on?"
"Jean told me everything that has been going on. Baby, I am so sorry I have neglected you."
"James I am so sorry, I never meant for you to find out, not this way."
"Lily, I love you." James pulled me into a long deep kiss, pulling me closer. I wanted my husband at that moment more than I ever had. I pulled him closer, not wanting to let him go.
James took me by the hand and said, "Let's go baby."
"I don't think I can make it home." James took my hand and led me outside. He pushed me against his truck and kissed me hard and deep. He pushed his body into mine, his hands all over my body.
"Baby, I have wasted so much time with you, I need you right now!" I felt his hand slide under my skirt and pull my panties aside. His fingers pushing into my wet pussy.
"Get a room you two!" some guy yelled at us as he walked by.
"Oh James, I have needed this for so long! What has changed?" He covered my mouth with his again.
"Lily, I am sorry for all the time I have neglected you. I love you! You are my life."
James pulled me close to him. Jean told me everything Lily. I know about the guy, I am sorry you needed someone else to give you attention."
"James, I am sorry, honey, I love you. I was just so lonely and he knew all the right things to say and had me totally fooled that he loved me."
"Baby, I love you, we will work thru this." James took me by the hand and walked to the hotel across the street. He had a room already for us. "I am going to make up for all the wasted time."
James pulled me into his arms again. His lips brushed mine softly. I felt his hands on my back rubbing slowly,
lightly caressing me. I kissed him back, my tongue lightly pushing between his lips. His tongue met mine as he pushed me toward the bed.
We laid back slowly kissing the whole time. James was on top of me now, looking into my eyes. His hand reach up and brushed my hair out of my face. His lips found their way to my neck. He kissed it slowly, his hands rubbing up and down my body.
I rolled over on top of him, never breaking his kiss. I started unbuttoning his shirt and rubbing my hands down his chest. I moved my lips down his neck, wanting to taste every inch of him. His hands were under my skirt, opening my pussy whispering in my ear how much he wanted me.
I couldn't wait any longer. I unzipped his pants and slid his cock deep inside me. He sat me up, still connected, and pulled me into a deep kiss. His hands started rubbing my tits, it was like he couldn't get enough of me. Each kiss was harder. Each touch seemed deeper. His mouth was on my tit and he rolled me over again, taking total control of my body.
He was pumping into me so hard I couldn't control myself, I starting cumming on him hard, my pussy squeezing his cock deep inside me. As it was doing so, I felt James shoot his load deep inside me. He kept kissing me deeply, riding me till his cock was almost soft again.
We laid in each others arms along time, just kissing and touching. For the first time probably ever, I knew what it felt like to really be loved. "Lily, I love you more than I can explain. I hate knowing how close I came to losing you. I feel like I pushed you away. If I hadn't you would have never felt the need to talk to that guy! And you wouldn't have gotten hurt."
"James, I knew better. There is no one to blame for that than me. I am sorry, I should have told you about it, but honestly didn't want to admit to you that I was so foolish."
"Baby, I have ignored your feelings and needs for so long, I don't blame you for looking for it somewhere else. I am truly sorry."
I pulled James into another deep kiss. His kiss back let me know that all was forgiven. He pushed me back on the bed and stood up. He spread my legs and slowly teased my clit with his tongue. Lightly licking just the outer edges till I was begging him to fuck me!
He pinned my legs down and continued licking me. Suddenly, his tongue was deep in my pussy and I was cumming again. James didn't stop no matter how much I begged him too. It was almost more than I could take. He tongued me till my orgasm slowed. He stood up and grinned at me, my pussy juice dripping off his chin.
"Baby, I have missed you doing that!" I said with a big smile. He sat on the bed next to me. I pulled him in for another kiss, tasting myself on his lips. I gave him a grin and slid down his body. I took his cock into my mouth slowly at first, wetting the head. I teased him with light kisses and licks till he was begging me to suck him.
I took him in my mouth, sucking him deep. He grabbed my head and started fucking my face. I felt his cock hitting the back of my throat. I relaxed and opened myself more, allowing him to go deeper. For the first time in my life, I had his entire cock in my mouth. It felt so good to feel him so deep.
The look on his face told me he was loving it. Probably a little too much since he started cumming down my throat at that moment. I swallowed every drop, making sure he could see me do it. He has always loved watching me.
I laid in his arms afterwards feeling complete for the first time in a long time. He feel asleep quickly with a big smile on his face. I laid there a long time thinking about the mistakes I had made and how lucky I am that I didn't lose the man who truly loved me for who I am. No matter what mistakes we both had made in the past, we could make our future better than either of us thought possible.
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