I (Eternal Lover) am in normal text and she (Lover Eternal) is in italics. We wrote this together, this is a true love story.
Note: There is no sex in this first past of our story, that will come later.
I looked deeply in her eyes; my lips automatically smiled and I spoke these three precious words “I love you”. I placed my left hand on her shoulder and my right palm touched her left cheek gently. My lips again said “I love you” as I lightly rubbed her skin with my thumb. I held her face between my palms, gazed at her lovely smile and sweet lips, and my lips again said “I love you”. I slid my hands around her neck, pulled her face close to mine, her nose was touching mine and my lips again said “I love you”. We both were feeling the warmth of our breaths, she closed her eyes as our lips touched softly and my lips said “I love you”.
“I love you”, he says and my heart starts beating faster. How I longed to hear those words coming from him. This is my dream come true, my fairy tale. His gentle touch, his tenderness, the love and care in his eyes just melt my heart. Is this just a dream? If I close my eyes and open them again will he still be there? “I love you”, he says again; music to my ears. His hands are touching my face and his lips are caressing mine, this is not a dream. I reach up with my hands and touch his face, tracing the face of the man who has stolen my heart. I hug him fiercely, holding him close to me. I love him. We smile at each other and with my eyes, my lips and my heart I tell him, “I love you”. These words have never felt so true.
Here I am logging in again. Why am I doing it when I had told myself that I was not going to do it, that I was not going to come back? I am lonely, that is why. Lonely, searching and never finding. I have this sadness in my heart and it keeps growing. I have no one to talk to, no one I can trust. But I have the need to talk to someone so I am trying again. There are so many people online, many of them in the chatrooms. Dare I go there? Do I take the risk to get disappointed again? I am going to do it; I am going to be there just for a few minutes. What is a few minutes compared to all these past months? I choose a crowded chatroom, even if I do not find someone to talk to I could observe how people are interacting with each other and get to know them a little. I greet them all but just a very few return the greeting and go back to their own conversations, it is always like that. I resign myself to just observe but this man says more than a hello to me. He starts a conversation and I am finding myself smiling. He is funny, and he is making me talk. Amazingly it is not sex talk, just normal talk and I am enjoying myself. Who is he?
It took us time to reach where we are now, but it was worth waiting. I still remember those days when I was feeling lonely; I was going through rough time. I needed someone to chat, I wanted to talk to someone about how I felt, I wanted someone to give me company, and I wanted someone to tell me that everything will be ok. I thought to myself; let me email this lady who I have not communicated with for a long time. I knew she was funny as I had had chat with her few times. I just was not sure if she still was interested in chat as I had not seen her in chat rooms for a while. I decided to email her anyway and check if she was doing ok. In simple words, I wrote few lines with very little hopes of reply.
I have not been online for some days, I am giving up. I have thought about going back to that site but what is the point? There is nothing for me there. I have a long list of friends but not one of them really understands me. Checking my email I see someone sent me a private message. Someone with a sex proposition, I think to myself. What else could it be? But still I log in and to my surprise it is from him. In my mind I play back those very few times we have chatted. I never expected to get a message from him. Is he like the others who want one thing and then he will disappear when he realizes he is not going to get it, just like the others do? Such are my thoughts when I open the message and then I change them when I start reading. He is worried about me; he is asking if I’m doing ok since I have been absent. I smile and I send him a message back.
I got up next day and though I had no hopes of reply, in my mind I was still seeing one unread email. I was telling myself not to hope high but somewhere inside me I was hopeful. I needed someone to talk. My need was to speak to someone and get rid of loneliness. I jumped on to the net and opened my emails. Yes yes there was one unread email for me. I quickly opened it. It was her reply. I was happy to read she was ok.
He did not disappear, he sent me another message. He is including his email address telling me it is easier for him to keep in touch via email. I rarely give out my email address but there is something about him that makes me trust him and I give it to him. I have doubt if this is going to last but I am hoping, hoping that for a time I will have what I need so much, someone to talk to.
I was happy that I could start talking to her via emails now. Though I did not know for how long she would be in touch with me, I just hoped and prayed that she would keep in touch for few days. In my next email, I asked why she was not seen in the chat rooms, to which she replied that she was finding it hard to keep up with job schedule. I knew it would not be just that reason. I casually said to her that I missed her, I missed her funny jokes. I told her that I wanted to laugh again as I was feeling lonely. She replied back with tickles and hugs trying to make me feel better.
Something happened; he used to make jokes and tried to make me smile in our past conversations. He says he is lonely. What happened? I know he has a partner and he is so devoted to her. I want him to smile, I want him to be happy, so in my reply I give him something of the old me hoping to make him feel better. I like him; he has such a caring soul. He is one of the very few who cared enough about me and noticed my absence when I got sick. His card makes me smile and I immediately answer him back. I am smiling more these days; I have someone to talk to. I still do not know what to expect but I want this to last. I truly like him.
After my 3 rd email, she did not reply for 4 days. I was getting anxious; I started to think what must have gone wrong. I waited another day and resent the last email asking if she got that. I got her reply after 2 days, saying she was sick. This gave me a chance to send her “get well soon” wishes in the e-card. I wanted to do everything that I could to talk to her. I wanted her to talk to me. I wanted to get to know her more. I wanted to know if she can give me time. I was not expecting any sexual fun, all I wanted that time was little care and attention. After she got out of sickness, we started communicating everyday.
We are so much alike, he and I. I talk to him and at times it is as if I am talking to myself. How many times have we stolen the other’s words? And we both have the same pain in our hearts, broken hearts, and so much heartache. Two lost souls. We talk for hours sharing and confiding in each other. We both want the same. And we are scared, scared to trust, scared to love, scared to be hurt again. We talk about our hopes, our dreams, our past experiences. He knows, he understands and he cares
We started sharing things with each other. We talked about past experiences. We both were going through the same loneliness and we both wanted to speak up. It was perfect timing and perfect situation. As we kept sharing our stories with each other, we kept hugging and pacifying each other. I started to feel the love in her caring talk. I did not want to rush but at same time I did not want to wait for too long and miss the opportunity. I mentioned to her that I was looking for loving relationship. I wanted someone who will just be mine, who will let me love her all the time, who will love me all the time, who will only love me and I shall only love her. I was expressing myself to her. I did not know whether she has anyone in life. I did not want to ask her that question. If she was available, I wanted the relation to develop naturally. I always liked her in chat rooms because of her jokes. I was just happy that she was becoming good friend.
I am falling for him. I have never met someone like him before... is he for real or is he just part of my imagination? I am so amazed we have connected so well, I can talk to him about anything, and I mean anything. I have told him things I have never told anyone else before and he has done the same. I trust him completely; he has become my best friend, a true friend. We care for each other and we know that the other will be there for us to support and cheer up when we need it. Our days are brighter; we have someone in our lives. Long are the hours we have to wait to talk again, there is so much we want to tell each other.
It is amazing how we both were looking for same thing in life. Sex without love was never going to make us happy. We were looking for that important thing which touches the heart, which brings happiness to the mind. We were in search of that precious gift. We wanted happiness all day long; we wanted to satisfy our hearts and our minds. This is amazing how we both wanted exactly same kind of relationship. This is amazing how we both had same need and we found each other.
I LOVE HIM! I have fallen in love with him and it is such a wondrous feeling. I am so happy, I have found true love. Does he know I love him? Does he love me? We have not said the words yet but in our hearts we know it is true. We are in love. Forgotten is the past with the pain and loneliness. We have each other; we found in each other what we were looking for. Love. True love is what we both wanted and kept eluding us.
No matter how many times we have said to each other “I love you” in the past, it is never enough. We want to say it everyday, every hour, and every minute. Yes, the most important part of our relationship is the love that we have for each other. We can not stay without saying “I love you” even for a single day. We need love, we need it so much. This is the main ingredient of our relationship recipe. Without love we will not be surviving. Without love the love making will not taste as sweet. I love my Lover Eternal.
These months have been a journey of discovering, of sharing, of healing. I love him! Never before have I felt this way. “I LOVE YOU!” I cannot stop telling him. He is everything to me, my best friend, my confident, my lover, my soulmate. In my heart there is place for nothing else but my love for him. My heart is whole again, no more heartache, no more sadness, and no more loneliness in my life. I have him, my Eternal Lover.
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