I know it’s a cliché but I really was at a crossroads in my life. I had recently turned sixty, and I was saving manically for retirement but had just been informed I was going to be made redundant. Suddenly there were major financial implications to consider. The kids had all left home, so the usual buzz of activity had disappeared, leaving behind a semi silence that was partly a blessing, but also a realisation that my wife and I were simply comfortable together.

We had been married thirty-five mostly happy years, but strangely, as life and finances started to get easier and we should have been making the most of things, our relationship became colder. My suspicion is that when you stop having to fight and struggle for things you both switch off.

My wife had started keeping her distance in bed, so I wondered if she had lost interest in sex or me or was it both. We did not even share the warmth of simple contact that couples should share at bed time. Maybe she had a lover. It was possible as she was working in a charity shop so had started meeting people again.

I tried talking but couldn’t get through. We were fine as far as the day to day stuff was concerned, but the real close bond was missing. I needed a friend, a woman, someone to share things with such as closeness, conversation, warmth and intimacy. I wanted someone that I could give pleasure to and enjoy their happiness but my wife was somewhere else.

After a lot of soul searching, I joined Friends Reunited Dating and boy were my eyes opened. There were so many people out there missing out on something. I looked at and read profiles and considered contacting a few women but didn’t. Eventually a woman contacted me. I felt flattered. We fenced verbally for a little while then she asked me to phone her so we could have a little fun. I thanked her but said no as it seemed too sordid, even though it was very tempting.

Then more women contacted me. It seemed the ones doing the chasing were the ones who simply wanted on line or phone sex. I went through the questions and answers with them and found it a bit of a turn so rang a few but really missed the physical contact.

I kept it simple and I tried to only chat to women of a similar age who were some distance away so that if we got on, I wouldn’t be pressed to meet up. I was now having regular conversations but it simply made me realise what I was missing and that I wanted the real thing.

There was only one way to solve my problems and to find out if I could have a sound relationship and that was to meet someone. But it couldn’t be just anyone, it had to be someone I felt a bond with and where a relationship could develop as I knew it had to be more than just sex. It had to be someone close by so if we did get on we would be able to meet frequently. I had started to chat during the day as it seemed easier to get to know people during the day and leave the heavy stuff until late at night. I continued to look and suffer disappointment after disappointment. Then just as I was on the verge of giving up there she was

***
Mandy

Although she was eighteen years younger than me there was something about her profile that struck a chord with me, everything suggested she was in the same boat as me with similar likes and dislikes and similar concerns.

She had a fairly stable home life and didn’t want to wreck it but still felt something was missing. She was married, so there was a degree of safety in that she wouldn’t want to meet every night and demand we move in together. I decided to dip my toe in the water and sent her a message and she replied. She was also logging on at work so the replies were slow but encouraging. We talked about our lives and our interests and we got on really well.

I felt a bond forming and the biggest buzz was the first time she came on and said hello to me without waiting for me to message her first. There was some innuendo, but nothing really sexual, just two people actually communicating and being open and laughing.

She was clearly having difficulties with her husband and although she loved him, the difficulties were getting in the way. She had two daughters who were growing up fast so there were many pleasures in her life but also the concerns that go with teenage girls, such as careers, boyfriends, university. She was open with her girls and discussed most things but not her marriage difficulties.

We had empathy from the start and our conversations started to cover all topics. She had shied away from sex with her husband as there was little foreplay and he seemed to want to satisfy himself rather than making it jointly enjoyable. He also tended to drink heavily so she had to suffer the strong smell of alcohol when he crudely climbed on top of her.

We shared daily conversations and explored our lives and concerns. We had actually been talking for two months and felt like old friends. I logged on to the dating site most days and looked for her, disappointed when she wasn’t there and elated when she was.

We were having daily dates on line. We had social fantasies about meeting at my place and me cooking for her – just a simple meal with chilled wine and candles. She had no picture on her profile but did email me one of her with her girls. It was not a clear picture but it didn’t matter, we simply had to meet so I decided to broach the subject.

We had discussed sex but not in a sexual way so one day while we were talking I took a major chance. She decided to make a coffee so asked me to stay on line. I replied I would definitely stay on line because I really needed something hot and wet. Would it be a long silence. She came straight back replying that she thought I might say that and laughed confirming she was certainly hot but declining to expand further.

I asked if we could meet and she said yes but stressed that before I got carried away her chastity belt would be firmly in place. So it was all arranged and excuses were made to our partners for the following night so I spent forever just watching the clock.

The day dragged and I was like a kid again. I made mistakes at work and forgot an important meeting which was most out of character.

We actually met at a Macdonald’s car park which seemed safe even if not exactly romantic. We got out of our car’s said hello and kissed. It seemed natural but was just a peck on the cheek. I had conjured up a lot of visions but I was totally bowled over by her looks, her long dark hair, lovely face, warm smile and bright friendly eyes. She seemed relaxed so I asked where we should go. We went to a pub just up the road and as we walked in I told her she was stunning. It really was the only way to describe her.

We ordered a glass of wine each and sat and talked. I held her hand and she didn’t pull away. Everything was so right. I hadn’t felt as warm and happy in a long time. The time to leave had come and the moment of truth. Would we kiss properly. We did and it was a warm lingering kiss then we parted. I sent her a text hoping she would sleep well she replied with a you too.

I was anxious next day when I logged on. What if she wasn’t there, what if she said goodbye. She was there and we talked for ages and it was very relaxed and intimate. She had enjoyed the evening and talked about meeting again. We could have something light to eat, and she said that maybe she would leave the chastity belt at home.

So it was arranged and we met in a bistro pub and had salads and wine. We talked and then sat in the car for a while and cuddled. We kissed and the kisses became passionate. She rolled her tongue around my lips.

I gently cradled her breast and heard a deep intake of breath. Mandy was very aroused but we didn’t want to go further, and I was also very nervous as I wondered if I would fully satisfy her.

We clearly knew this was going to be a full on affair, the only difficulty being the time between our meetings and the danger of our partners spotting something different about us. We had met on the same night so we had to avoid a pattern but wanted to see each other more.

A week later we changed nights. It was a Tuesday and never to be forgotten. She came in a skirt and wearing suspenders at my request. We went to a small Italian restaurant and sat opposite and gazed at each other. I was so lucky she was much younger than me, absolutely beautiful and yet she seemed to be so happy to be with me.

We went to my car and sat in the dark and were soon kissing. Again I heard the intake of breath as I touched her breast. I moved my hand inside her bra and for the first time found her wonderful erect nipples. I nibbled and sucked slowly and knew she was becoming more and more aroused. I asked her if she wanted to make love and she said yes. I moved my hand under her skirt to the top of her stockings and discovered that beautiful warm, soft, inviting flesh.

My hand was between her legs and her breath was getting shorter by the second. I found her incredible wetness and as I caressed her she came with a low sigh. She told me that she would often pleasure herself in the shower or in bed once her husband had gone to work but this was her first orgasm with someone else for quite some time. Her face was a glow of happiness.

She asked if I would be able to drive with an erection and she stroked me gently without unzipping me and we held each other. I could so easily have curled up and gone to sleep with her.

There are some things that remain etched in the brain and this was a fabulous night I will remember for the rest of my life.

We were now talking on line, texting, phoning and meeting regularly as our closeness grew and we now had regular meeting places where the staff seemed to recognise us.

I got into work on Valentine’s day to be greeted by a card, beautiful chilli heart chocolates and roses. The men took little notice but the women at work smiled at me, maybe mixed with a little curiosity. Were these from my wife one asked.

We made love whenever we could and she always reached orgasm with the aid of my fingers and tongue before we moved on to other things. She was very attentive to my needs ensuring I also came each time we met. We had made love more times in our first couple of months than my wife and I in the last five years.

I remember thinking that I was falling in love with this woman and started weighing things up in my mind. I loved my wife and was content in many ways even though there were difficulties so I couldn’t possibly love another woman. Then I closed my eyes and thought about Mandy and felt warm and content. I knew it I had fallen completely in love with her.

We arranged to have a whole day together and met early. We headed for the little town near Oxford where she was born. She had wanted to go for a long time but her husband seemed unwilling. It was wonderful walking around hand in hand with no worries about time. We had a coffee in the little cake shop. I know some people will judge and say this is completely wrong but it was very right to us. We sat down and I remembered my thoughts, I looked in her eyes and told her I loved her. She instantly told me the same. We drove to Henley and sat by the river then had a glass of wine on the patio of a lovely bar. I remember the woman who served us smiling as she saw us hand in hand. She must have noticed the age gap but it seemed like her way of giving her blessing

As I dropped her at the end of the day I realised this was not some sort of sordid quickie for mutual satisfaction this was far more and something that will live in me forever.

Little things mean so much. We have now had several days away. We have even been shopping to Braintree. Shopping with my wife makes drives me crazy as it is not planned and her tastes vary by the day. Mandy and I bought underwear which she often wears when we meet and looked around shops hand in hand at nothing in particular and it was wonderful.

We have been to the coast and other places off the beaten track. Our love making has been tender and fulfilling. She surprises me with small gifts and cards for no reason other than love.

It’s been two years now since we first talked. In some ways the time has flown and in other ways seems like forever.

Not everything is sweetness and roses, so I stress to anyone who follows this path that you have to work and be prepared to put in the commitment that perhaps should have been put into the marital relationship. However, for me, the difficulties pale when compared to the sheer happiness Mandy has given me and I believe I have given her.

Of late, Mandy’s husband has started to put effort into their marriage reminding her of how things used to be and Mandy sees this as important because of her girls and the long term. She did say we had to stop seeing each other a few weeks ago but after a couple of weeks we agreed to meet and it was fantastic.

Knowing my wife was away she actually drove to my house and we were able to make love in comfort and privacy. Then shortly after, having just had a family holiday and gone through a lot of upheaval with university and finding somewhere else to live, the combined effort has again brought them closer so again. She has suggested we stop seeing each other and she has committed to trying counselling.

I have undergone a traumatic three weeks as the texts, emails and calls became shorter and my family have asked me what was wrong. We then exchanged a few texts and she agreed to meet as friends. I have told her I am happy as long as we see each other. I ordered wine and waited, then when I saw her face and we kissed I just melted.

I have listed all the places we have made love and incredibly it is thirty-five. I have a lot of pictures of our time together and all I do is close my eyes and I can see her feel her, and smell her so I will cope irrespective of how things turn out.

A major thing I look back on is when I visited her work one Saturday morning. She is a dental nurse and practice manager and she was in the practice doing administration catch up. I called and she made me coffee then locked the door. Soon she called me into the small surgery and I found her naked. She was laid on the dentist’s chair and I brought her to orgasm with my fingers and tongue before making love. That is a memory I will never forget and I even smile when I visit dentists now and don’t even need injections anymore.

We have met three times since she suggested we stop being lovers. Each time was wonderful, but it is obviously a difficult balance for both of us, as she is trying hard at home. We know there will be trauma’s along the way, but I have to believe our relationship will continue even if it is just as friends. 

In the mean time, I can look at her pictures, listen to our favourite songs and just dream of my beautiful Mandy