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My Best Friend 3 - Fear and Admittance

"My first time gets played out again but this time by my crush"

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Most of my day had been uneventful. I had already had my first class with Amanda and given her my reply. She didn't say anything as we walked to the classes we had together. I haven't gotten a reply at all. It has been nerve racking because I expected us to at least talk or her give me a note before now.

Now here I sit in my last class bored out of my mind with only ten minutes left before school is over for the day. I sat there contemplating if I should write her another note of my own accord. Try to explain my experiences in Europe and the girl I lost my virginity better. Or was my first note a good explanation?

Before I could make my decision the bell rang signaling that school was over for the day. The sound had startled me because I was lost in my train of thought . The sound of the bell sounded completely foreign to me, I was that deep in my thoughts.

I sighed to myself. I either had too much to think about or I just needed to get myself out of this funk. I thought to myself trying to remember how I was before I lost my virginity.

I could remember before I didn't have a care in the world and normally didn't think this much. Before I did my homework, my grades were above a B average, I played sports, and I could talk to Amanda without having too many problems or being this nervous. So what had changed in that amount of time?

I was so lost in thought trying to remember everything and trying to figure out what was going on, I didn't notice she was waiting for me again.

"Do you mind if I join you as you walk home?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I tried to calm myself as I looked at her.

She was smiling at me.

I smiled back, "Sure."

We walked all the way to her house without saying a single word. I expected her to gossip about how this girl wore this or this guy looked like a complete dweeb today. But she just kept her eyes forward, she didn't look at me. She didn't say anything.

Ok, now I was beginning to get scared that my answer in my note pissed her off or something.

I wanted to say something to make her feel better or at least test the waters to see what she was thinking. But it was too late. By the time I had found my voice to say anything we were already at her house.

I was about to say my good byes, tell her I'll see her in the morning, and curse to myself as I walked home for not saying anything.

She looked over her shoulder as she walked up to her house, "Are you coming?"

I looked at her in disbelief. She obviously saw my reaction in my face as she turned around to face me.

"I thought we were going to do our homework together just in case I run into any problems you are there to help me."

I shook my head snapping my attention, "Yeah sorry.". And I followed her into her house.

We sat in her room quietly for a few moments doing our homework. Well actually I had finished all my homework in my last class of the day because the teacher didn't face the class once as she talked. Which gave me the opportunity to do all my work.

Finally after arguing with myself for a few moments and decided to break the ice, "Did you read my note?"

She simply stated as she didn't look up from her homework, "Sure did."

I rolled my hand at her and realized she couldn't see what I was doing.

"And.....????"

She put down her pencil and looked at me.

"And what?"

I looked at her seeing that she didn't want to talk about it. But the level of quietness we had going was beginning to make me nervous. Like she was going to go back against her word.

"What did you think?"

She looked at me seeing that I was nervous.

"I thought that it looked like that you don't want to talk about your first time so that's fine. I'll just wait for you to tell me the truth on your own accord not by me forcing the issue."

I sighed, "So you really want to know what happened?"

She looked at me, "That would be nice."

I looked at her and decided to go for broke. This whole not telling her and trying to avoid the issue was beginning to put a strain on our friendship. One I didn't want to lose. Mainly I just didn't want to lose her.

I looked at her, "Fine I'll tell you."

She closed her books, sat up, and smiled. "Great but do you mind if I get comfortable first?"

I nodded and turned around so I couldn't see her change or anything like that. Actually I wanted to tell her go ahead but I was being nice. Didn't want to admit EVERYTHING all at once. Just one thing at a time. Virginity talk now. Crush talk later.

After a few moments and hearing her fumble around trying to find and change into comfortable clothes. I finally heard her, "Ok you can turn around again."

I turned around to see her in a pair of sweats where she had cut the legs off to mid thigh and a plain white shirt to where I could see she wasn't wearing a bra any longer.

I looked at her and felt a smile creep up my face, "Feel better."

She looked at me with an obvious smile, "Of course."

She sat on her bed and leaned forward, "Ok now you can tell me everything of the girl you lost your v shirt to."

I smiled as I sighed, "Fine. Like my note said her name was Jessie. She was a nice girl."

Immediately Amanda interrupted me, "What did Jessie look like?"

I sighed hoping that Amanda wouldn't want to know that, "She looked sort of like you. Maybe 5'4", 120lbs or so, brown hair, hazel eyes."

She smiled at me, "Did she have a bigger cup size than me?"

I smiled at her, "She was about the same size. Probably a cup bigger. Anyways as I was saying Jessie and I were hanging out for a few days. She has teaching me some French and pretty much translated everything for me wherever we went."

Amanda smiled, "I guess that was nice of her."

I laughed, "Yeah beat using a language book trying to say things like 'I'll have the chicken Alfredo' or 'No I'll have this' and point to the item on the menu after I translate it from my book."

I sighed, "Anyways some how sex came up in one of our conversations on my last day in Le Mans before I was supposed to go off to the next town for like three or four days."

Amanda interrupted me, "Where you admitted you were a virgin?"

I nodded, "Right."

"So later that night after I had already gone to bed and everything. She came to my door and woke me up."

"I answered the door in just my boxers and saw her. I asked her what was going on. She told me that she wanted to do something where I'd remember her by and immediately pinned me up against the wall and kissed me."

Amanda was leaning forward paying attention to all the details intently listening.

I watched as Amanda straightened up and looked at me with a sly smile on her face.

“Hey I have an idea. How about you show me what happened that night? That way I have an idea how everything went down.”

I thought to myself that this would probably be a very very bad idea.

She looked at me with those puppy dog eyes when she’s trying to win an argument.

I sighed, “Ok. If you want to then that’s cool I guess.”

She stood up and looked at me, “So what should I do?”

I thought about it and scratched my head, “Well where do you want to start?”

I watched as Amanda thought about it and finally came to her conclusion, “How about we start from the beginning?”

I looked at her, “Ok.

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How about you stand outside your bedroom door and then knock?’

She nodded and walked outside the door.

“I walked over to the door as soon as I heard the knock.”

Amanda knocked on the door frame.

“When I answered the door I was kind of surprised to see her there.”

Amanda interrupted me, “Was she playing with her hair like this?” As she showed me playing with her bangs with her right index finger .

I smiled at her, “No. She was more calm about herself, not playful or coy.”

Amanda quickly withdrew her hand from her hair. “Then what?”

I thought about it for a moment, “Then after she talked for a minute she put her hand on my chest and lead me into the room.”

“Like this?” Amanda asked as she put her right hand on me and pushed me into her room more.

I smiled at her, “Yeah but not as fair.”

She smiled at me, “Then what happened?”

As if everything was playing correctly in my mind, “Then she backed me into a wall.”

Amanda proceeded to push me into her wall.

“Then what?”

It was then I realized my heart had begun to race. My hands began to feel sweaty. I felt the heat in body begin to rise. My breath begin to shorten. My mouth began to feel dry. My stomach began to turn. My dick had turned into a steel bar pushing against my pants.

I heard myself whisper, "We kissed."

Amanda leaned in to me and stopped just before my face.

"Was it a soft kiss like this?"

Right then she lightly kissed my lips.

I froze. My mind was screaming to move and kiss her back. To do fucking something. Grab her ass. Wrap your arm around her and hold her tight. Anything to make the kiss last longer. But all the signals my mind was relying my body wouldn't cooperate at all.

Amanda pulled away from her soft kiss. She saw the look I had on my face and I watched her face redden. She turned her face from mine, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that or make you uncomfortable."

Somehow I found my voice, "It's ok. That would have been a better kiss. It was a more forceful kiss."

Amanda turned her face to mine and I saw her smile return but her face was still hot red, "What do you mean forceful?"

I clearly my throat, "She put one hand on the back of my neck and her other hand slipped under my boxers and groped my butt."

Amanda smiled, "You mean like this?"

Then Amanda put her right hand on the back of my neck and snaked her left hand under my pants over my boxer covered ass. Then she kissed me again.

This time the kiss wasn't as soft as the previous one. Her mouth was now more open like her lips were trying to completely cover my lips. Her tongue was forcefully in my mouth exploring everything in there.

The only difference between Amanda's kiss now and Jessie's kiss a few months back. This kiss actually made me close my eyes and enjoy the kiss.

Sure the kiss was a little inexperienced. Seeing how Amanda is now the second girl I have actually kissed. Jessie seemed experienced and Amanda obviously inexperienced. Or was it me the one inexperienced.

After what felt like an eternity Amanda pulled away from the kiss, "Was that more like the kiss."

I couldn't catch my breath from the kiss. My eyes were still closed. The only thing I could do was nod.

"So what next did she do?"

It took me a few minutes to catch my breath while Amanda still had me pinned against the wall.

"Next she took off her top."

Amanda smiled, "Do you want to see my breasts?"

My eyes got wide and thought she was actually going to take off her top. I still couldn't find my voice. Once again I simply nodded.

She laughed, "Maybe another time. Just pretend my top is off."

She quickly added, "Then what."

I finally found my voice, "Then she guided to the bed until I fell down on the bed."

She smiled, "So like this?"

With that Amanda grabbed me by the shirt, turned me away until my back faced her bed and guided me towards it until I fell down on it.

As soon as I landed on my back I simply nodded to her question.

She looked down at me and laughed, "So did she straddle you from here?"

I nodded, "After she removed all her clothing, yes."

She straddled me and but her face next to my ear and whispered, "Well I'm not removing my clothes."

She sat up and looked down at me.

I watched as a thought suddenly struck her. I continued to watch her as her smile looked wicked to me.

"So you're telling me this entire time she controlled the situation?"

I nodded.

Her smile got wider, "So you like being dominated?"

She bent down to where her face was just in front of mine, "You like being dominated don't you?"

I looked up at her and wanted to admit to her that I didn’t like being dominated. I was in no sense submissive but for her I could find myself every once in a while have her dominate me in the bedroom.

I quickly wrapped my left leg on top of her right leg and within one movement rolled her on her back with me on top.

“No I don’t like being dominated.”

She looked at me with her big doggy eyes, “Then why did you let her do all this stuff to you?”

Now I could tell I had sorrow in my eyes, “Mainly because I couldn’t believe what was happening was actually happening.”

As soon as I said the sentence I knew I shouldn’t have.

She looked up at me, “Then how come you said it did feel right?”

Just then we both heard the front door open and close. Closely followed by a female voice, “Sorry I’m home late sweetheart. Have you already eaten already?”

“No I haven’t mom.” Amanda called down to her mom.

She looked at me as if waiting for my answer. I looked at the clock and saw that the time was 8:30pm. I immediately thought my parents were going to kill me for coming home so late. Then I thought my parents shouldn’t come down too hard on me if they find out I was helping Amanda with her homework. Then again I’ll never know until I go home and face the music.

I got up from her bed and said, “Good night.”

She stood up from the bed, “Oh no you don’t. You still have to answer my question.”

I was afraid she wasn’t going to let that down.

I looked around and found her notebook. I opened up her notebook and quickly wrote down, ‘Because she wasn’t you,’ and left the notebook open on her desk.

I smiled at her and said, “You’ll find your answer there but wait until I leave before you read it. Good night.”

She sighed at me, “We still walking to school tomorrow morning?”

I smiled, “Sure.”

She finally bid me a good night and quickly bolted out her house.

I jogged home with two main thoughts going through my head. I hope I didn’t get grounded for being out late. And the whole episode swam through my head. Was her kiss real? How much did I enjoy the kiss. Was her getting comfortable her signal she wants to do more with me? As the whole episode an opportunity to let my hands wander on her body? Will Amanda admit back that she has feelings for me like I had for her?

The only thing I knew for sure was finding a way to go to sleep tonight with all these questions was going to suck.

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Written by Lightning454
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