This is a letter written to my online lover, who encouraged me to share it here. Thank you Darling for your wonderful words of love, and encouragement. I love you, forever and beyond.
Why is it in life, that love can be so difficult? Here we are, living and working in different cities, with only the words between us, whether by phone, or email, to give us the comfort of each other, we so longingly desire.
I have heard others say, that life is not fair, and I used to think they just didn't make their dreams come true. I now know that life is not fair, and I wonder how long we will have to wait to be together. A day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime? It is too long, yet, I can't even think of abandoning this relationship.
You are the love of my life, and the man of my dreams. I have already waited a lifetime for you. What is another?
I live for the time that I can meet with you through the modern technology of instant messaging. I love our dates, we can be who and what we want to be, where we want to be, and we can be together. That is the most incredible part for me, that we can be together. It is amazing, that even though thousands of miles separate us, we are close, in mind, soul, and spirit. I long for the day, when we can be close in the flesh, but that day is coming.
I have a recurring dream, Darling. It is of the domestic bliss with you that I long for so desperately. Even though I continue to work as an RN, I have cut my shifts from full time to part time, so I can be at home more. (I would quit altogether, but prudence keeps me working to keep my license to practice active.) We are past the age of having kids at home, and that is okay. I love to be at home, making it a retreat for both of us. I realize that sounds terribly old fashioned, and some younger women chide me for this. I can't help it, it's the way I want it. It is the way I believe it should be.
You come home after a long day at work, "Darling, I'm home!!"
I can hear the smile in your voice as I rush to meet you at the door. I greet you with a hug and a passionate kiss, "God, I've missed you today." It seems like an eternity since you left this morning. You kick off your shoes, and I take your hand and lead you into the living room, where there is a bottle of white zinfandel wine breathing and two glasses. A fire is lit in the fireplace, because, despite the fact that it is spring, there is still a chill in the air.
I urge you to sit in the recliner so you can put your feet up, but you opt for the sofa, so we can sit next to each other. You put your stockinged feet up on the coffee table. I sit down beside you and curl my feet underneath me. You put your arm around me and draw me close to your side. My head rests on your shoulder, and I let my hand rest on your chest, so I can feel your strong, steady heart beat under it. A sigh of contentment escapes from my very soul as your lips brush my temple. I ask you how your day was, and you tell me it was nothing out of the ordinary. I am glad as I hate to think of you being stressed at any time of the day.
We sip our wine, and you ask, "What's for supper?"
I smile to myself, knowing this question was coming. I have prepared a sumptuous meal for us. Salmon, baked with lemon dill butter, fresh green beans, steamed, and twice baked potatoes. A fresh baby green salad with a light vinaigrette dressing rounds out the meal. For dessert, a chocolate mousse, light and fluffy. After all the years I have lived alone, I love to prepare meals for you. We finish our wine and go to the dining room, where the table is set, with the fresh flowers you insist on bringing home at least once a week, and candles, which you light, while I serve our plates. You pull out my chair for me, and I think again, that I am a lucky woman. Most men wouldn't show such a consideration, but you insist upon the small things, like opening doors, and helping me into the car, helping me with my coat, and pulling out my chair. I let you, and I love the small considerations you show me.
After dinner, we tidy up the kitchen together, and head back to the living room, where you stoke the fire, to ward off the evening chill. We have the remainder of our wine, in front of the fireplace, on the sheepskin rug. You lay me back on the soft sheepskin and lean over and kiss me passionately on the mouth, running your tongue along my lips, gently forcing them apart. I am a willing participant, and I let my tongue mate with yours, a foreshadowing of what our bodies will be doing in a short period of time.
Your hands reach for the snaps of my blouse, and gently tug at them, revealing my breasts in the lacy bra. You kiss me just above the lace, as your hands wander down to the snaps of my denim skirt. Your hands pull the snaps apart slowly, and you kiss each bit of skin that is revealed to you with the undoing of each snap. (You love this outfit, you call it your "easy access" outfit, and I chose it for just that reason.) Soon I am undressed, except for the lacy bra, and matching lace french cut panties, that are damp with the desire you have aroused in me. You undo the front clasp of my bra and my breasts fall into your waiting hands. I moan as you tenderly massage them and tease the nipples into stiff peaks.
"Darling, one of us has entirely too much clothing on, and it isn't me.", I say to you as I reach for the buttons on your shirt. I work at them as you undo your belt. I slip the shirt off your shoulders, and run my hands over your chest and down your abdomen to the waist band of your trousers. I undo the button, and ease the fly down to reveal your erection. I gently push your trousers down over your hips and I marvel at your wonderful body. We both are well into middle age, yet when we are together, we feel like teenagers, and the ravages of time have no effect on the way we feel about each other, or the way we want each other.
You tenderly pull my panties over my hips and I lift them so you can remove them all together. The crotch is damp and you finger it, before you lay them aside. Your eyes are on me with such intensity, such love.
I blush under your gaze, and it warms me more than the fire. You massage my mound with your hand, and I wantonly spread my legs in silent invitation that is only for you. Your finger slips between my fleshy labia, and like a homing missile, finds the hub of my desire, pulsing for you. You finger it, gently, at first, and then with a bit more force as I moan my delight. You slip two fingers into my warm, wet canal, and its muscles clamp down on them. You turn your hand upwards, and find that oh-so-sensitive spot on the upper wall of my canal. You wiggle your fingers over it and it is not long until we both feel the familiar rush of warm fluid seep from my body. Only now, are you willing to enter me with your glorious cock. You position yourself between my legs, and your erect manhood, at the entrance to my silky wet folds. Gently, you press yourself forward, until you are in me all the way. Only then, do you begin to thrust, gently, tenderly at first, until I plead with you, beg you for harder and faster. My legs come up around your back, to urge you more. Your thrusts come more quickly and forcibly now. My hips lift to meet your thrusts. You take me to a place that is known only to us, a place where our lust turns to love, and our love, turns to passion. The height, and depth, and breadth of our passion knows no bounds. It is as limitless as our love for each other.
It is not long until we feel the wonderful sensation of a shared orgasm, crashing down upon us, threatening to consume us. It leaves us both breathless, gasping for air. Our hearts are racing, beat for beat, they match each other. You collapse on top of me, and I hod you inside me, while ripples of aftershocks continue to cause our bodies to tremble. You nuzzle my neck, kissing me there, as my hands run over your back, soothing you, giving you the comfort of my love, as yours comforts me.
I sigh deeply, as your now soft organ slips out of me. I can't help it as the tears run down my cheeks. I have waited a lifetime for this kind of happiness, fulfillment. The tears are tears of joy, for the absolute joy and love that I have found in you. You kiss them away, you are used to this now, at first my tears bothered you, but now you accept is as part of my deep love for you.
We lay like that in the warmth of each other, and the dying embers of the fire, until it is time to go to bed. We shower together, as has become our habit, since we have been together. It is a wonderful way to end our day, the warm water cascading over our bodies, gentle touches, not to arouse, but to share the love we feel for each other. We go to our bedroom and curl up in the queen size bed together, spooning, as it were, your arm draped lazily, but possessively over my body. I can feel your member nestled in between the cheeks of my butt, and I wiggle back to get as close to you as I can. I feel your breath on the back of my neck as you kiss me lovingly, and tell me good night. I sigh as I tell you good night, and my last waking thought is that this is how our life should be.
All my Love,
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