Jenny Ring. Ring. Ring.
My phone kept on ringing over and over as I sat by the window looking outside at the gloomy sky. I knew who it was; it was the same person who constantly called non-stop. I wish he’d just stop.
As if the caller knew what I just wished for, the phone went quiet. I sighed and put my head between my knees and closed my eyes trying to ignore the dagger-like pain that shot through my heart making it hard to breathe.
Three months ago, Douglas told me that his grandfather was sickly andbedridden, and he had to go see him. I was worried for him and wished him good luck with the hope that he’d come back to me soon.
He went for a day and called me, telling me he missed me so much and that he wished I was there with him. For every day that he was there, he called to talk to me and let me know how things were going. The calling went on for two weeks and a half and then it started slowing, instead of calling every day, he’d call every three days. He still told me that he missed me, but it seemed like he was distant.
I convinced myself that I was just thinking too much, that I was starting to think like this because I hadn’t seen him for two weeks. I thought that maybe his grandfather wasn’t getting any better and Douglas was getting stressed out, so I tried to be the good girlfriend and let him have his space.
The every three days he called went on to a week, and a week turned to two weeks, and the calling just stopped altogether. I waited, and waited. I tried to be patient, but I was getting worried that something had happened. I wanted to be next to him to comfort him; I wanted to see him smile again. Every day that I waited, my heart ached, so I decided to give him a surprise visit hoping that it will mend the broken connection between us. I was sure that he had a reason for not contacting me.
I packed clothes for a three day visit, and drove for two hours just to go see him. I went to his house and asked for him but they had told me that he wasn’t home, that he had stepped out. I introduced myself as a friend of his and they invited me into their home. I waited for an hour at his house talking to his sister, Valarie. When an hour passed, I tried to leave but Valarie had taken a liking to me and told me to wait a little more, so I stayed a bit longer.
Another hour passed, and he finally came home while I was helping Valarie cook in the kitchen. I heard his little sister, Karen, yell his name and I heard him laugh as she ran up to him. I was so happy that I was about to leave the kitchen but I heard him introduce his little sister to someone name Kim.
My heart pounded, something was wrong.
“Douglas! Douglas! There’s a pretty girl here to see you!” his little sister yelled out excitedly after saying hi to Kim.
“What girl?” I heard him ask.
“Aren’t you going to go say hi to him?” Valarie asked, looking at me with a smile.
“Hm? Oh, uhm… ” I hesitated. I was suddenly afraid to see him.
Valarie smiled. “Don’t be shy Jen. You waited two whole hours to see him. Come on.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the kitchen and into the living room where Douglas was standing with the girl name Kim.
I could see the surprise on Douglas’ face when he saw me, it wasn’t joyful surprise like I had hoped. It was… shock and uneasiness.
No one talked for a few awkward moments until Valarie spoke up.
“Douglas, don’t be rude. Say hi to Jen. She’s waited for you for two hours, the least you could do is give her a welcome hug.”
Douglas kept his eyes on me as I did him, but didn’t say a word.
“Hi, my name is Kim,” the girl next to him chirped happily with an extended arm.
I tore my eyes away from Douglas to look at the girl and forced a smile. “Hi, Kim. My name is Jenny.”
I didn’t bother to shake hands with her, instead I turned back to look at Douglas. He was still looking at me as if I was a ghost. I couldn’t bear it anymore. I wanted to run and hide.
“Say something Douglas,” Kim told him and grabbed his arm, hugging it to her body. “Aren’t you going to tell me who she is?”
“Uh…” was all he managed to say.
My heart broke. He can’t even tell them who I am? Am I not his girlfriend anymore? I could feel the tears threaten to fall and the lump in my throat swelled, making it hard to speak. I swallowed the lump and took a deep breath.
“I’m just his classmate,” I managed to say while still looking at him. “The group has been trying to contact you for a while now, but there was no reply, so I volunteered to seek you out since I was coming to visit some family. The group wanted to know if you’re going to come back any time soon.” I told him.
“Oh, tell them I’m not sure yet,” he replied while still looking at me with a pained expression mixed with sadness.
“Uhm, okay.” I turned to Valarie and forced a smile. “Hey, I better be going now, my family is expecting me. Thank you for spending your time with me today.”
“You’re going already? You’re not even going to eat?” she asked me, looking disappointed.
“No, my parents already have food ready for me at home. I really do have to go. It was nice meeting you Valarie.”
She gave me a hug as I tried to grab my stuff. “I really wish you’d stay to eat Jen. For me, please?”
I smiled, “I’m sorry Valarie. I will visit again, I promise.”
I grabbed my stuff and hugged her one more time before I walked to the door. As I opened it, Douglas called my name.
I turned around and found him walking towards me. I walked out of the house and stood outside as he walked out and closed the door behind him.
He just looked at me as I took a step back to get away from him.
“Why are you backing away from me, Jenny?”
“I don’t know Douglas. Why am I backing away?”
“It’s not what you think Jenny,” he tried to say.
“I wasn’t thinking anything. You made it clear.”
“What do you mean? You’re the one who said we’re classmates.”
“Me? So it was me who hesitated when someone asked?”
“I didn’t hesitate, Jenny,” he told me as he took a step towards me.
I took another step back and he kept on walking towards me and grabbed my hand to stop me from backing up again.
“Why do you keep backing away from me? I’m not some monster, Jenny. It’s just me. Douglas.”
“I don’t think I know who you are anymore,” I said as my tears betrayed me and fell down my face.
“Jenny… Don’t cry baby,” he said as he tried to wipe my tears away.
I freed my hand from his grip and walked to my car, got inside and locked the door.
“Jenny, talk to me. Don’t go. I missed you. I love you, Jenny. I really do,” he told me from the other side of my door.
I turned on the engine and drove away. I cried the whole way home with my heart breaking more and more with each tear that fell.
*ring ring ring*
That annoying ring was starting to get on my nerves. I got up and grabbed my phone. The screen read Douglas’ name.
The tears fell from my face and onto my phone as I cried.
“How can you do this to me?” I asked the phone. As if on cue, it stopped ringing again.
I dropped to the floor and covered my face as I cried my heart out. “Why would you do this to me, Douglas? Why?”
I continued to cry as the phone rang again. It rang and rang and rang, until I got tired of it and threw it at the wall, silencing the phone when the phone came apart and the batteries fell out.
My heart ached and my tears fell as I lay on the floor not bothering to get up and sleep on the bed.
*ding dong* *ding dong* *bang bang bang* “Jenny! Open the door!”
I opened my eyes. Am I dreaming?
*bang bang bang* “Jenny! Open the door or so help me, I will break the door! Stop avoiding me!”
I got up fast and almost fell over when the dizziness came over me. I grabbed my bed and steadied myself. I walked to the door but didn’t open it.
“Come on Jenny,” Douglas said. “I know you’re in there.”
I leaned against the door and slid myself down to the floor and sat there.
“Jenny?” he said. “Jenny, I know you’re there. Please open the door. Please?”
He waited for a few minutes and when nothing happened, I heard him slide down on the door too.
“Baby, I’m sorry. I messed up. Please forgive me.”
Fresh tears fell down my face, but I didn't make a sound.
"Kim... She's... Kim is no one. Jenny, do you hear me? Kim is just a friend."
He stayed silent for awhile.
"Baby, please open the door. Let's talk okay?"
Another few minutes of silence passed.
"Okay, you don't have to open the door, but please talk to me. Or pick up your phone. Or reply back to my texts."
I didn't reply, I just sat against the wall and cried. I wanted to be in his arms again. I wanted him to hug me and kiss me and take away this awful pain I was feeling. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and wished I never saw him hesitate when Kim asked him who I was.
I wanted him with me, but I couldn't. My pride wouldn't let me. Even if I did love him, my pride just wouldn't let me close my eyes and pretend nothing happened.
"Who knows what he's been doing all those times he stopped contacting you," a voice in my head said.
Fresh tears spilled as I thought of what could've happened.
"Let him go, you deserve better," the smarter side said to me.
"But I love him."
"Jenny, baby, listen to me. I love you. You're the only one I love and the only one I could see my future with. Please forgive me. I didn't see it before, but... after you left that day, I realized how stupid I was."
"Go away, Douglas. It's over between us. I am tired. I am tired of crying and I am tired of you. Just leave. Leave or... I will call the cops," I wiped my tears and got up off the floor.
There was no way I would ever be able to forgive him. Not even after hearing him say that he made a mistake.
It's been five months since Douglas and I broke up. I wasn't over him, but it doesn't mean I haven't tried to move on.
Three months ago, Jacob cornered me at school and confronted me asking why I never texted him. I told him that I lost his number and he ended up grabbing my phone and dialed his number in the key pad and called his own phone.
"Now you have my number and I have yours," he had said to me, smiling.
I couldn't help but smile back at him. Later that day, he caught up with me while I was walking to my car and asked me on a date. I told him that I couldn't so he smiled and told me that he would try again next time.
He asked me out every week and I always rejected him and he would always smile and say that one day I would say yes.
I think that day has come.
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