Charming young thing, my niece, what? Aha, I could see you found her fetching.
Not that I've had much time for the tender passions myself. So far, anyway. Retired decades ago, but when business has always come first, it's too damned late to change. Been a bit of a Scrooge if you must know.
Cynthia's not really my niece of course. Her grandfather and I went through school together. Blighting Towers. Borstal of a place, but if you forged a friendship there, begad it lasted. Bit like the army, only tougher.
The grandad died a few years ago and the sweet thing adopted me instead. Calls me Uncle Eustace. Sixteen now but she still pops in every now and then, bless her. Goes to one of those girls' schools where they shelter them and keep them in uniform. Very pretty she looks too. As you saw.
I didn't realise just how pretty till... well, that's the story I wanted to tell you.
Three weeks ago it was. She came in, bubbling with excitement. Blonde hair blowing. Forget-me-not eyes radiant. They made her royal blue uniform and tights look positively dull. She'd had her sixteenth birthday and was chattering about going to college and all sorts.
She came and sat beside me on the settee. Then she goes all shy and demure. Something on her mind. Could only watch her while she decided whether old Eustace could take it. Would he be any use? Could he be trusted? Would he be shocked?
She inhaled and took the plunge, in that light unspoilt girlish voice you heard, a combination of good upbringing and an all-girl school.
"Uncle Eustace?"
"Aha?"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Kept a fair few in my time."
"Only, Mother and Daddy mustn't find out I've asked you about this. Specially Daddy."
"Mmmm?" Well, what else could I say, dash it? Could turn out confoundedly dicey.
"It's something I want to know about Daddy. Only he won't talk about it."
Of course, I should have stopped there, but I didn't. Set myself plumb in the line of fire. "Perhaps I can help, then?"
"It's something I really need to know. I'm worried Daddy might be poorly. When he's in the bathroom he sometimes makes funny noises. I can't tell whether they're happy ones or if he's crying. Sometimes he sounds really happy, but that might be because whatever he's doing makes him feel better for a bit. They're such strange noises and he never makes them outside the bathroom. It worries me."
My mind boggled. I mean. Obvious what it was. But was I Uncle enough to explain the vagaries of masculine sensuality? I prayed for a power cut, or handy earthquake, while she went on.
"I asked Mother about it, but she pulled a pooh-poohing sort of face and said, 'don't let it fret you. He thinks we don't know. He's playing with his willie, that's all. I've had to get used to it.'"
"Funny thing is," the darling went on. "It doesn't always sound like something nasty. He can sound so happy in there. And I want him to be happy. So I tried to ask him. He went red as a beetroot and was so near to running away I just had to change the subject."
"I don't know," I said, tentatively (and you well know, I never do tentative). "I'm not sure I can help."
She settled herself right up to me. Melty and snuggly. Dashed disconcerting, this little blonde creature so close. "You're like my grandfather, aren't you? I mean you're almost family." She laid a soft hand on my arm. If this was family, suddenly money didn't seem the most important thing in life after all.
"I need to know what he does. I've never even seen a willie. How can it be something he plays with? Will you? Will you show me? At least so I know it's not something nasty or dangerous. Please?"
What was I to do? She was so insistent. Those blue eyes so deucedly appealing. The hand on my arm stroked so persuasively.
But 'willies' as she called them. Never been part of my life, all that stuff. Except those little experiments at Blightings, when we all thought we might be gay. Of course, we weren't, most of us. Some went on to be rabid woman-worshippers. I followed the family tradition worshipping money. And executive command. But Cynthia's changed all that. Still getting used to it.
I mean, a girl who looks at you like that, pleading for help. You can't just turn her down. Granddaughter of my oldest friend, too. Damned churlish.
She wasn't looking up at me any more. Her attention was rapt on my trousers. Her arm slipped from mine and traced its way across my tummy till her two dainty hands were joined at my belt. She loosened it, took hold of the thick tweed and started to undo my buttons. (I've no truck with these modern zips.)
There was nothing for it. I had to help her. She soon had my limp bit of septuagenarian masculinity peeping out, and began to fondle it. Begad, it felt nice. No-one had touched my dick for decades. I felt like Sleeping Beauty after the hundred years. Was Cynthia going to kiss it awake? Okay, you're laughing, but you try thinking straight with your penis in the hands of a sixteen-year-old.
It was still soft, though she didn't seem to know any different. It was hardly going to stay that way for long though. Her fingers were like magic wands, weaving their spells through my body, deep into my brain, all from touching that soft little cock. If I went stiff, would it frighten her? So far she was fondling, turning it over in her hand, saying things like "Awww, it's sweet", and straying into the tweed, puzzled, finding my balls and appraising them.
I looked at her face, finding her prettier and prettier. She was 'awwwing' over my cock like it was a little puppy, but her voice was getting more surprised. I looked down. An erection! When did I last have one of those? Can't remember, and wasn't going to try to. This was something for the moment. By God it was. She stroked it. Feminine fingers lingered over my foreskin, fondling and squeezing. So delicately.
One finger of each hand traced every millimetre of my erect penis, like she was reading braille. Her rapt breath formed the words, "Will Daddy's willie be like this?"
"Oh, much younger, bigger and firmer," I assured her. "Don't forget I am seventy-two." Begonads though, I didn't feel it. Nor did my 'willie' look it.
"May I?" she asked. Before I could ask what she 'might,' she did it. She slid my trousers over my knees, parted my legs, and put her face right up to my cock. A hand feathered over my bare thigh and balls. Her face came closer.
She was going to.
Yes.
She kissed it.