“Goodnight, darlin’,’’ said the old man as he strolled past, admiring the shape of a woman in a crouch, her bottom extended and her crotch stretched invitingly. What fun they could have if she were doing this naked, in the splendid privacy of his little flat.

Life is so tedious, Jackie thought to herself as she stooped to put the padlock on the bottom of the rolling shutter. Why did they even have this shutter? Although this was a betting shop and therefore money did change hands a lot, surely people weren’t stupid enough to think you’d leave vast sums of cash in it overnight.

And as for old Len and his cheery but thinly-disguised lusting after her, he was a symptom of the disease that plagued her. She was a woman in a man’s world. As the manager of this shop, she oversaw a staff of three men and almost all of the customers were male too. But not one of them aroused a spark in her. Some could, she imagined, do the job if the situation presented itself, and they must have wives and girlfriends. But at work, it was all banter of an old-fashioned, sexist type, which was mildly amusing at times but terribly dull in the main.

You’re not a bad looking woman, she told herself later, as she stood before the bathroom mirror. Her blonde hair was still silky and framed her face nicely. And that face: okay, it was rather stern, but there was nothing he could do about that, and the short, wide glasses gave her a certain gravitas. But that was the last thing she needed when she looked naturally forbidding.

Her glance slipped down to her chest, where the vast expanse of her milky body-skin began. Men liked her breasts, which were frankly enormous and hung like rugby balls down to her navel. They have a thing about enormous bazookas, and she didn’t know why but maybe she should count herself lucky and try to capitalize on that.

Yes. Tonight was going to be the night when she grabbed herself a man, or a whole legion of them. She had already put her profile on the mature dating site. To stand out from the crowd she had aimed at breast-lovers, even looking up the shorthand for breast worship, stating that she wanted someone who wanted anr. She hadn’t explained it, which would oblige anyone interested to look it up, so they would have to have a modicum of intelligence.

~~~

Degsy logged on as usual and found, as always, no sign of interest from these women. A few had looked at his profile but none had sent a message, and anyway, the “messages” were usually generated by some illiterate site employee in an attempt to get the ball rolling. So you couldn’t get too excited.

He dutifully looked at the profiles of those who had browsed him and found jumpinjack, a rather alarming name for a woman, if indeed she was a woman. The pictures were definitely of a female of the species, a strict-looking type with pale skin and huge tits. She was looking down at the camera with a disdainful expression that didn’t immediately appeal to him. But her black shirt was unbuttoned and pulled down to reveal those milk-white udders, stopping just short of the nipples.

He read the profile and was pleasantly surprised to find no spelling mistakes and competent punctuation. As a teacher, this was oddly important to him. Even as he trawled these archives of despair, looking for nothing more than sexual gratification, he was appalled at “definately” and “sence of humour” and the way one sentence ran into the next, leaving nowhere to take a breath.

But this woman with the vast expanses of pale skin and the breathtaking knockers apparently took pride in her words as well as her looks.

She was into anr, whatever that was. Obviously not A&R – artistes and repertoire, as his long-ago striving to be a rock star, had impressed upon him. It meant several things, he found when he googled it, and one of them was adult nursing relationship. Further investigation and simple pondering led him to the conclusion that the woman liked having her nipples sucked for long periods, perhaps until milk flowed.

Was that possible if she wasn’t pregnant? He didn’t know. Anyway, she also spoke about, “rude sex sessions,” so at least it didn’t end at nipples. He liked the word rude.

He sent her a short message.

“Would love to suck your nipples for ages, among other rude things.” It wasn’t worth creating a masterpiece, he had found. If she was interested, she was interested and if not, then not.

~~~

Jackie was, at first, amazed but soon saddened at the deluge of monosyllabic responses she received. How desperate the world was. How hopeless these men were: devoid of hope and clutching at straws while demonstrating their social inadequacy. But that wasn’t fair, she told herself. Social inadequacy was to be pitied and helped.

But it wasn’t a one-woman job and she wasn’t a social worker. She silently wished them good luck and moved on to the next.

After half a depressing hour she came across degsy4u. No innuendo; no bragging about the size of his cock or what he was going to do to her. And he had looked up anr and was apparently into it. She messaged him back quickly, before some other opportunist could spirit him away.

They soon moved away from sex talk as they felt each other out. He lived half an hour away from her on the Tube, he in west London and she in the south. He was divorced and lived alone. So was she. They got along so well that she felt slightly guilty about what had brought them to each other’s attention. On the other hand, her need for sex hadn’t evaporated just because her brain was engaged.

They arranged to meet on the following night, Friday.

~~~

Degsy was amazed at how quickly his focus had moved from her body to her mind. He wanted to meet her and yes, he fully intended to suck her nipples and explore her pale, unloved body, but he also wanted to feel her heart touching his.

They were meeting at a pub near her house. That meant if it went well they could go back to hers, which presumably felt safer to her. And she had a dog, she had made a point of telling him.

Degsy’s Friday dragged. Jackie’s was busy but her mind wasn’t on the job. When she got home she showered immediately and was ready far too early. She poured a gin and tonic and thought about checking the site, then stopped herself. Maybe that one night had been enough. She should see how this went before looking for something else.

She was wearing the big black shirt from the photograph, along with her most comfortable black jeans, which hugged her bottom but didn’t make her look fat. She was fat, she knew, but he had said he liked her shape, or what he had seen of it.

Jackie was aware she looked quite severe in the picture and had given the impression of being a bit of a dominatrix, which she wasn’t really. But Degsy liked her, so maybe he liked a bit of that. She would have to play it by ear.

She sat at a table in the corner of the bar, playing with her phone. Degsy arrived ten minutes after her, which she had intended.

He looked quite smart in a pale blue casual shirt and chinos. He looked like he was on a date and she had to remind herself that he was, and so was she.

It was one of those big pubs that serve a lot of food, so they had a meal together without spending a lot of money, because they were going Dutch. She didn’t want him thinking he could buy her.

She decided after half an hour that he would be going home with her.

Degsy decided the moment he walked through the door that he wanted to do what they were both on the site for.

After an hour they were ready.

“So, I live ten minutes’ walk from here,” Jackie said rather nervously. “Would you like to… I’ve got some wine and…”

Ten minutes later they were in her front room, the dog shut in the kitchen, and Jackie was pouring Beaujolais. They stood uncomfortably, as if thrown together at a cocktail do.

Degsy felt he had to do something. She was as nervous as he was but was just standing there. He took her glass and put it with his on the coffee table. He put his arms around her and his face approached hers.

Here we go, Jackie thought. This is what I was looking for and now it’s here. She put her hands on the back of his neck and they kissed. He was good at it. Some men weren’t and that was revolting. He was confident. They kissed for several minutes before she led Degsy to the settee.

She undid another button on her shirt, not looking at him, to avoid involving him in the action in any way. He put his hand into the space and stroked her chest, then put his face there and kissed her just below the throat while his hands undid the rest of the buttons. She was wearing a non-nonsense, substantial bra and leaned forward obligingly for him to unhook it. Thus freed, her magnificent breasts were at Degsy’s disposal.

He latched on to one, sucking the nipple and kneading the body of it. How long was this going to take? She was clearly in charge. She was the expert and he just claimed to know what he was doing.

Jackie did love having her nipples sucked, but no more than most women. The anr thing was just to make sure any potential suitor was aware of her large appendages and happy with the general layout, because big tits meant big other parts and she didn’t want someone who would be disappointed or repulsed by her. But she wasn’t going to join the ranks of those who brought euphemistic vagueness to their descriptions.

If Degsy really was into prolonged nipple-sucking, she would go along with it until she had to break it up and start something else.

He moved on to the other breast but wasn’t sure this was the correct procedure. Did they work as a team or independently? She didn’t seem to mind his change of sides and she was making approving noises as he went about his business. But he had other body parts on his mind.

He slid a hand between Jackie’s legs and tickled the seam of her jeans. She sighed with something like relief, so he carried on his twin-pronged attack, stimulating her in two nerve-centres. Then, without thinking about it, he moved his face back up to hers and kissed her. They were firing on all cylinders as he moved his hand to her zip and tried unsuccessfully to pull it down. Jackie stood up and did it for him, then waited while he removed her shoes and pulled the jeans and her skimpiest white knickers down and off.

She had a thin covering of wispy, fair pubic hair, which he nuzzled before pulling her down on top of him. She straddled him while they both got to work on his clothing, and soon he too was unclothed and experiencing that strange feeling of being naked on a settee where an erection felt out of place.

To get over that, he pushed Jackie back and got on his knees in front of her. He kissed and licked her from her neck downwards, under her breasts and enjoying the slight oiliness there, the clean but animal secretion from inside a woman’s body. He did the same with her navel.

This guy’s got a thing about nooks and crannies, Jackie thought. I wonder how far that extends. But then he bypassed her crotch and began licking her thighs and her knees, then lifted her left leg and licked the crease behind the knee. He repeated this with her right leg, which brought her buttocks forward as her position subsided. She parted her legs, inviting him in, and his tongue trailed up her inner thighs, those silky, exotic places that were so frequently overlooked. Degsy wasn’t overlooking anything.

Perhaps the moment he liked the best was when the scent of a vagina permeated his nostrils. That was when the prize was almost within your grasp. He looked closely at her lips, those beautiful lobes which were the most beautiful gates in the human realm, and then took them into his mouth, both at once and then individually, savouring their wonderfulness.

Jackie was holding her breath as he toyed with her labia, loving the feeling but desperate for him to get that loving, inquisitive tongue into her cunt. She didn’t go for the “pussy” business that the Americans had foisted upon the world. She had a cunt, and she liked the word. She just wished men weren’t so afraid of using it. She wanted to hear Degsy say it. In a little while, she wanted him to put his cock in her cunt and tell her what he was doing.

But for now, he was licking her there, right in where it counts, getting his tongue inside her and licking her with great care and affection. He was very good at this, perhaps the best she had ever known, but it was hard to say because most of her cunnilingual adventures had been so long ago.

He was pushing her upper body back and sliding her lower half towards him. He still wasn’t sure if she was a dominatrix and she wasn’t giving orders because he was preempting them, knowing instinctively what she wanted. But if she was silently in charge, she would be expecting him to lick her arse. And that was what he had been fantasizing about all day: spreading her milky-white cheeks and entering her rear palace.

He was so close and yet so far. He licked her as best he could as she strove to lie down completely with her legs in the air, but it seemed physically impossible.

“Are you trying to lick my arse?” she asked breathlessly, before turning onto her knees and placing her elbows and head on the back of the settee.

She does want that, he thought jubilantly.

He is going to do that, she thought, smiling inwardly.

Degsy gazed in wonder at this fleshy woman’s rump and the dark little inverted volcano it harboured – a volcano that, when not actually erupting, was for him a place of worship.

He licked her excitedly and felt her contract with the sheer thrill of what they were doing, because he knew it was a joint venture: he invading and she acquiescing.

“Oh yes, yes,” she babbled. “Lick my arse, you beautiful man.”

With these liberating words in the air, she felt able to follow them up.

“And then I want your cock in my cunt.”

The vocabulary sent a thrill through Degsy that raced from his cock to his tongue and he gave her a last lascivious lick that brought a gasp from his woman. She was his woman now; he didn’t know for how long, but even if it were just this one evening, she was his.

With the confidence of this thought, he brought Jackie down from her perch and she positioned herself before him with her arms on the seat. He slipped his cock into her and knew she was just seconds away from cumming. He loved her mind as much as her body, her kindness as much as her sexual capacity and his cock conveyed this to her.

“My cock loves your cunt,” he found himself saying, and as the words emerged, Jackie spasmed and came with an almighty yell. The love juice flooded from somewhere deep within her and she collapsed just as Degsy’s spunk powered up and pumped into her.

They stayed in this unlikely position for several minutes, panting and wringing every drop of emotion from their mutual depravity.

This was the woman he had been slightly afraid of but utterly fascinated by, Degsy thought.

And this, Jackie mused, was the knight in raging ardour that she had needed.