This happened in December, 2002. My first semester at Clinton State University was nearly over. Most of the kids had already gone home for the winter break, but I was stuck with a final exam scheduled on the absolute last day of the term. I guess I didn’t really mind the peace and quiet which was a nice alternative to the 24/7 party atmosphere that had permeated the dorm hallways from pretty much the time I’d moved in.
I was never really great at parties. I didn’t really like to drink or do a bunch of stupid stuff. Truth be told, I was a nerd, a geek, a loser. I was never cool or popular, and always felt like kind of an outcast. No one I knew liked the same stuff as me, and I wasn’t interested in everyone else’s juvenile bullshit. I honestly thought that when I graduated high school I’d leave behind all the jocks and other idiots, but a whole new bunch found their way to college. I treated them mostly like bees – if you leave them alone they’ll leave you alone. For the most part it worked, but it also left me lonely.
Now with everyone gone, I found myself both lonely and bored. I decided to study as a distraction, though I was already feeling pretty confident about the exam. My economics text was open in front of me and I was disinterestedly reviewing the notes I’d scribbled in the margins over the semester. At times my mind drifted to the music playing on my stereo – Belle & Sebastian. It was music that my room mate would have made fun of and called ‘gay’ if he’d heard it. But with everyone gone, I left my dorm-room door open to the empty hallway.
As I flipped through the eighth chapter, I was surprised by a knock at the door. I was even more surprised to find a girl standing there with black hair, dark make up, and wearing a black dress. I’d seen her around, though I hadn’t talked much to her. Her name, I knew, was August. A lot of people called her a freak. Honestly, I can’t say that I hadn’t made the same immature judgment myself.
“Hey, Royce, what’s up?” August asked in a friendly tone that didn’t quite fit her ‘I am the motherfucking heart of darkness’ sense of style.
“Just studying.”
“Ah. Okay, I’ll leave you to it.” She frowned.
“No, it’s alright,” I said, glad for the company, even if she was kinda weird. “I feel about as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Well, do you feel like taking a break?”
“Sure,”
August entered my room, and flopped down on my roommate’s bed. She lay there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes.
“So, what are you up to?” I asked finally, trying to break the silence.
“Nothing,” she answered. “Kinda bored. There’s like no one here. But I’m stuck here until Saturday morning when my parents can come down and get me.”
“That sucks,” I commiserated.
The conversation awkwardly stalled again. I became acutely aware of the wimpy-ness of the music coming from the speakers above my bed. It made me self-conscious, considering that soft introspective Scottish folk-pop was far from the tough industrial rock like Nine Inch Nails or Marilyn Manson that August probably listened to.
“It's been a bloody stupid day
My baby called me up to say
Don't call me love, don't call me
It's not all she said”
“Uh sorry,” I apologized, feeling embarrassed. “I can turn it off. Maybe find something else to play?”
“No, it’s fine,” she said. “Actually, I kinda like it.”
“Really?”
August nodded, and we listened for a few seconds more.
“Listen, Royce, I wanted to ask you a favour,” she said, turning on her side to look at me. “I’ve been working on something, and I need someone to try it on.”
“What?” I asked skeptically.
“Hypnotism.”
“What?” I shouted, disbelieving. My mind filled with cartoon images of Austrians swinging their pocket watches back and forth.
“We had someone in my psych class demonstrate it, and then I’ve been reading up on it, and it’s really cool. Anyway, I’m bored and there’s no one else here, so do you wanna try?”
“You want to hypnotize me?” I asked incredulously. I doubted that hypnotism actually worked on anyone except the most suggestible kind of idiots. It was for suckers and gullible goofballs, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work on me.
“I’ve never done it before, but I want to see if I can actually do it,” she said. She was sitting up now. “I mean, if you’re too busy, it’s totally cool, but-“
“What? Are you going to turn me into a chicken or something?”
“No, but maybe I could help with your test, or something.”
I looked at her, and could see in her eyes that she really wanted to do it. My first nervous instinct was to decline. I always felt suspicious when people were being nice to me, like they were just setting me up to be taken advantage of. But if I did refuse, she’d probably leave, and then I’d be bored and lonely again. It was pretty obvious that I didn’t have anything better to do. Anyway, it wasn’t likely to work. I was pretty sure that hypnotism was total bullshit. And besides, even if it did work and she did make me look like a fool it wasn’t like there was anyone else around to see it. For once, I decided to just loosen up and go with the flow.
“Fine,” I relented, “But you better not make me start barking in the middle of the exam.”
“I won’t,” she giggled.
“Okay, so what do we do?” I asked.
“Well, first we need to make you comfortable,” she said, standing. “Why don’t you go lie down on your bed.”
I did as she asked. She reached over me to turn off my CD player. In the black dress she was wearing, her breasts were only a couple of inches from my face. They weren’t huge, but nicely proportional to her small body. I felt a small rush of excitement. To be honest, that was the closest I’d ever come at that point to touching a girl’s chest. To my secret shame, I’d arrived at college a virgin, and hadn’t found the opportunity to lose it even though everyone else seemed to be hooking up all around me.
As the music cut out and August straightened, I quickly averted my eyes to a poster of Eminem on my roommate’s side of the room. I hoped she hadn’t caught me looking.
“Comfy?” she asked as she drew my recently vacated chair from my desk to the side of my bed.
“Sure, yeah, I guess,” I confirmed.
“Alright, so the important thing is for you to be relaxed. Okay. So, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Good…. Another…. Focus on your breathing…. In… out…. In… out…” As she spoke, her voice softened into a kind of slow steady monotone. “Good… Relax… Every time you breath out picture yourself sinking into the softness of your bed. Sinking deeper. Deeper. Your body is getting heavier and the bed is getting softer. Each breath lowers you further into the bed. Let yourself go down. Deeper. Good.”
August carried on like that for a long while, encouraging me to be as relaxed as I could possibly get. And I did feel relaxed, but I didn’t feel like I was hypnotized. I could still hear her. I was still aware of where I was, and who I was. I considered telling her that it wasn’t working, but I decided that it would be more fun to play along, and see what she’d do next. So, I stayed quiet and continued breathing… in… out… in… out…
“Royce?” August asked after a short pause. “Royce can you hear me?”
“Yes,” I answered in a voice that I hoped sounded like I was hypnotized.
“Do you know where you are Royce?”
“At school.”
“Where at school?”
“In my room, in bed.”
“Good,” August said. “You can open your eyes now.”
I opened my eyes, and looked around. The room looked exactly the same as it did a few moments ago. August was still sitting in the chair beside my bed, but now she was looking pleased with herself.
“Do you know who I am?”
“August,” I answered.
“Yes,” August said, smiling devilishly. “But from now on, you can call me ‘Mistress’”
“Mistress,” I repeated, barely managing to overcome the urge to break into laughter.
“Good,” August said. “Now, what can I do with you?... Oh, I know! Royce I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me, okay?”
“Yes, mistress.”
“What was the name of your first girlfriend?”
I stayed silent.
“Royce, you were going to be honest, remember?”
“Yes, mistress.”
“Will you tell me the name of your first girlfriend?”
“No, mistress.”
“Why not?” August asked frowning.
“I never had a girlfriend.”
“No girlfriend?”
“Yes, mistress.”
“Never?”
“No, mistress.”
“Then that means…” August mused. “Royce, are you still a virgin?”
I didn’t want to answer, but I knew that if I didn’t I’d give away that I’d been faking the whole time. That seemed like it would be even more embarrassing than admitting the dismal truth about my sex-life. I’d taken it too far, I knew, and now I was committed.
“Yes, mistress.”
“Hmm…” August considered. “Okay Royce, I’d like you to shut your eyes again.” I did. “Now, in a minute I’m going to count backwards from three, and when I reach zero, you’ll open your eyes again. When you open your eyes, you’ll see the most beautiful girl in the world standing in front of you. You’re going to be very attracted to her, but you won’t be able to move. Do you understand?”
“Yes, mistress,” I agreed.
“Okay. I’m going to begin counting backwards now,” August continued in her lulling monotone voice. “Three…. Two… one…. Zero. Open your eyes, Royce.”
I opened my eyes and saw August standing by the foot of my bed, looking down at me with curiosity. And strangely, as I looked up at her I began thinking that she wasn’t bad looking at all. I admired the curly jet-black hair that hung around her round face and down past her shoulders. I liked the look of her dark eye-shadow and deep crimson lipstick against the paleness of her skin. And though I hadn’t really taken notice of it before, the black dress she was wearing really suited her body, which was petite but curvy in a really nice way. In her way, I considered, August actually looked good – Really good.
“So, Royce,” August started, swiveling and placing her hand on her hip. “How do I look?”
“Amazing, mistress,” I replied.
“Yeah?” She let her hand trail slowly across her chest, and down the side of her breast.
“Beautiful….” I added.
“That’s good, Royce,” August said, clearly pleased with her work. “And would you like to touch me?”
“Yes, mistress,” I answered. I nearly moved to sit up when I remembered that she had commanded me to be still. Not wanting to ruin the illusion for anything, I stayed reclined on my bed with my eyes fixed on the girl now swaying her hips back and forth slowly in a way that was well… hypnotic.
