What is a cage for?

I don’t know what time Carol disengaged herself, I was sound asleep, but she was awake before me. The shower woke me so I threw back the duvet and sat up enough to inspect the damage. Carol came rushing out of the shower, throwing a towel onto the floor so she didn’t soak the carpet.

“What’s the emergency?” I said.

“I want to see.”

“What’s so exciting about a cage wrapped in condoms?

“I want to see what’s inside.”

She knelt beside the bed and started rolling the condoms off my cage. That’s when it dawned on me what she was after.

“My guess is you won’t find anything,” I said, watching as she set about turning the inner condom inside out.

“Well?”

She ran her finger around the thing and tasted it, frowned and then stuffed two fingers inside and put it in her mouth.

“Ugh,” I said, “don’t be disgusting.”

“You’re right,” she said, “maybe a drop of precum but none of the proper stuff.”

“So what does that prove?”

“It shows that it works.”

“I could have told you that.”

Carol giggled.

“Yeah, very funny,” I said, “and what about the other way around?”

“You mean did I come? Oh sure, several times, once even after you went to sleep. It's not the same as feeling you properly but it has its moments.”

“I’m glad someone got something out of it.”

There must have been something in my voice, some sadness or regret or something, I didn't mean anything by it but she must have heard something.

“Please, Chris, let me work this through.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know yet. I'm finding things out. Don't be upset,” she said, shaking her head. “I wish I did know.”

“You had all night.”

“I was asleep. You said I could have a day. A whole day, I need a day. I don't want to feel pressured.”

I waited. Silence seemed like the best option. I felt as if I was standing on a precipice, one false move and it could be all over.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” she said.

"I don’t know what to say. I’m not trying to be awkward or difficult or anything, but right now I’m waiting for you.”

I shrugged my shoulders and raised my eyebrows a millimetre or two.

“Yeah, you’re right— I know,” she said, sighing, “but you really did say a day. I know I’m making you do something you don’t really want to do.”

“So this thing is on all day, is that the game?”

There was a long silence, well a minute or two but it felt longer.

“Do you want breakfast?” she said.

“Is that a truce?”

“Is it that bad?”

“No, not really, but not knowing is hard. You know me, or at least I think you do, I like to plan, think my way ahead...”

“So maybe this is good for you?” Carol said. “I mean it could help you get out of yourself? Make you grapple with a different approach?”

That made me laugh, I’d never thought of anything like that. Carol looked relieved.

"I don't like it, whether it does me good or not; I'm doing it because you asked, right?"

“But best I if I don’t keep asking?" she said. "Is that right? I’ll tell you what, I’ll put your key in this envelope and leave it here and you lock me up with a new combination for the day.”

She picked up an envelope from the desk— one of those things hotels leave as a courtesy. She dropped the key inside, licked it and sealed it.

Okay, I thought, I could steam that open easy enough. She must have read my mind because the next thing she did was turn to the mirror, apply some lipstick and then kiss the back of the envelope, leaving a beautiful double lip mark across the seal. Great, no way I could open that without her knowing.

“Cunning,” I said.

“I know I’m being a terrible tease,” Carol said, “but I’m feeling my way here. Lock me up and then let’s have breakfast.”

“Together?”

“What?”

“One of us could go to the restaurant and the other get room service.”

“Don’t be daft,” she said, “unless you want naked breakfast we’re going downstairs together.”

That settled that, so we ate downstairs and talked about her plan for the day while we ate. When we got back to the room I had another try.

"Is there any chance you can tell me what the hell is going through your mind?"

"I need to know what I really feel. I need some clam and I can't get that if I keep fucking all the time."

I don't know what my face said but it unsettled her.

"What?"

"I'm trying to stay calm," I said. "Trying to hold it together. I thought we were good, I thought we were making progress but now I don't know what to think. Maybe I should have stayed at home."

"Why?"

"Look I know you're trying to work something out and I guess I have to let you but I'm not finding this easy."

I wanted to say she was driving me crazy, that she'd come about three times more often than me but if she had something that she had to work out then I guess I had to let her.

"Last night you made me give you an enema, you wore a butt plug all night. You said you were going to ask... well you know what you said."

"Mmmmm," she said. "I did and you think I'm going back on that? I'm not making it easy am I... Fuck... Look, I'm all over the place... I know that... I'm going to wear my plug all day. I'm not giving it to someone else if that's what you're worried about. I wouldn’t do that, honestly, I wouldn’t."

"You think you're confused," I said. "You ain't the only one."

She pushed me down on the bed, kissed me and held me.

"I'm sorry, love. I'm not leaving you, I’m just driving you crazy. I want to work this out, but right now, well right now... I don't know where I am in so many ways... and I have to go to work."

She rolled off me, got dressed and headed off to work. Five minutes later I got a text:-

I really do love you with all my heart. Please don’t doubt that whatever you think I’m doing.

I tried to work. The only way to get anything done was to focus one hundred percent. That was a good plan, up to a point, the problem was that I got through everything I'd planned a lot faster. By ten thirty I had blasted through all the material I had brought with me.

I strolled down to the restaurant and had coffee, sipping my way through another dozen minutes, savouring the bitter taste of a too strong espresso, resisting the temptation to sugar the experience.

I couldn't face a day in the room, either room. I needed space to think. I began to wish we'd come in two cars. The hotel was in the middle of town so finding the bus station didn’t take long and five minutes identified a bus that took me to a hill walk.

There’s something about the scale of hills, so much bigger than any human, and that guarantees a particular experience. Whatever hill you climb, it is almost always the case that you keep thinking you’ve reached the top, only to find that there is more hill beyond the crest that minutes before seemed to have only sky above it.

I guess about the second or third crest I surmounted only to find more hill beyond, it dawned on me that our relationship was a bit like that. Blowing Dean and Jay out of the water, forcing Carol to face up to what she'd been doing, well those were a couple of crests, steep enough to take your breath away but not the summit.

After the next crest, I looked at the time and figured that I ought to head back. Going down was easy and I picked up a rhythm that put me in a good mood. By pure chance, a bus came along at exactly the right moment and I was sitting back feeling contented when we came to a stop by an industrial estate. I jumped off the bus when I saw a big tool shop — I've never been able to resist tool shops, they always give me a feeling that anything is possible.

They had some good stuff and some great special offers. Right in front of me was a set of bolt croppers and that made me think of the padlock I was wearing. I couldn't resist, partly because they were a bargain but more because they put a crazy idea into my head.

When I got back I put the bolt croppers in one of the dresser drawers, put a stamp on the envelope with the key, wrote our address on it and posted it to home.

I spent the afternoon in the room naked trying to write all my thoughts. The walk and the tool shop had cleared my head. All I wanted was to stay married and have good sex with some teasing and excitement but at the same time, to know that Carol was getting what she wanted, safely, without putting us at risk. What I didn't know was whether that was possible.

Carol arrived a little after five. I was sitting in the room, caged and naked, writing. She took one look at me and stopped in her tracks.

"Oh," she said. "I kind of didn't expect that. Good job I didn't bring anyone back with me."

"I figured you'd phone if you were doing that. Were you expecting me to be dressed for dinner?"

"Well yes, or no, I don't know. It's too early to eat, isn't it? I thought you'd be dressed — but it's okay," she said and started peeling off her clothes. I let her strip, suddenly wondering if I’d done something stupid.

“How has it been?” she said, “being locked all day. Was I too mean to you?”

By then she was naked and still wearing her belt.

“Are you going to unlock me?” she said.

“Anytime,” I said, “but What about... I mean how did you feel about me being locked all day? Was that a turn on for you?”

That brought her up short.

“No, it’s not that. Actually, I worried about you all day. You weren’t tempted?”

“I’m still wearing it. What about your belt?”

“At lunch time, I wished I had the vibrator in.”

I knelt on the floor in front of her. “Lie back and enjoy.”

“How does it feel doing that, you know, doing it like Eddie did?”

“I know the numbers so there's no mystery. Maybe I should have closed my eyes when I set the lock. There's no fear of a frustrating failure.”

“Unless I changed the numbers.”

I pulled back away from her. I was shocked. Why would she...? Why did I post my key? Did she read my mind? Should I give up trying to play games?

“Keep trying,” she said.

"Did you change it?"

"Maybe I only changed one ring."

"But I don't know which one."

"So?"

"So 1000 to one, ten times harder than it was for Eddie."

She giggled. I sat back on my heels. "Why did you do that?"

"Are you mad at me?" she said, sitting up a little, resting back on her elbows.

"No, not at all. I'm curious, that's all... there is one other thing... but tell me why."

"I wanted to know what it was like with you trying to unlock me. Eddie was fun but he was nobody and I'd already seen his small prick so I wasn’t super horny.”

“Shit.”

“What?”

“Something dumb I did.”

"What?"

“It’ll keep,” I said and kept turning the wheels. “Lie back and enjoy the suspense.”

How could she change a wheel? She had to have opened the whole thing, so unless she was very lucky, she must have spent ages. When did she have the time? Unless this was a joke. I rolled the wheels to the combination I set this morning and sure enough, it started to come loose. Great stunt. I carried on twisting the dials, pretending. I gave the lock a tug with each click, she must feel it each time, nothing like a physical signal to wind things up.

I gave another minute while I made sure of the fastest way to get the important bits of her belt clear.

“When I have this thing off, what then?” I said.

“You have to ask?”

“I figured I’d get to work on what I find underneath.”

“And then?”

I opened the lock, released the belt and opened up the view in front of me and kissed her beautiful shaved mound. From then on I didn't say a word, I let my tongue and lips to the communicating. Carol was obviously ready because I had her wound up and on the edge in real quick.

I wasn't timing but I reckon a couple of minutes tops. Once I had her close I eased up a touch. After that, I worked with a finger inside her and my lips and tongue being especially loving towards her clit. She ended up with a sort of rolling orgasm, ending when she bucked her hips and slammed her mound into my face, letting out a long moan and pushing my head away.

I lifted her legs onto the bed and laid down alongside her and rolled her against me, trying to make as much skin contact as I could. It must have been ten minutes before she said anything.

"That was amazing,” she said “Something’s gotten into you. Is it the cage?”

“Could be.”

“Go on.”

"I went for a long walk in the country this afternoon to clear my head..."

"And did it?"

"Sort of. I had this weird idea... Last night you made me stay caged and I didn't really know why. I thought about taking it off, and then I didn't know what you'd say. Kissing the envelope like that obviously meant that you wanted to know if I took it off. Why did you want to know? Why did it matter? Our whole lives up until... well you know... I never had a cage before... did you want me to stay caged? Were you just getting back at me, or only teasing..."

"So you had a bad afternoon?"

Did I? For a second, I didn't know what to say.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," she said. "Take it off right now if it bothers you."

"Let's eat first," I said. "You have a shower and we'll eat."

Carol is smart, she saw through me right away and realised something was going on. That cheered me up two weeks ago. Two months ago, she would have ignored my anxieties. This was different.

"What did you do?"

"I posted the envelope," I said.

"Posted what envelope?"

"The one with the key in it."

The script in my mind had her saying something like 'you did what?' or 'seriously?' or 'what the hell got into you?' She didn't say that at all.

"So that's some kind of test?"

"Well yeah, or a moment of temporary insanity."

"Keep talking."

"I think it's all been too much for me. I can't even remember exactly what I was thinking. I should have written it down."

"Keep talking."

"I felt bad about what I did to you. Did I scare you into submission or did what I did to Dean and Jay screw up your plans, make it impossible for you to leave? And then last night, the thing with the condoms on the cage — what was that supposed to mean? What was the message in that? I was confused, and among all that the thought 'why not post the key home?' popped into my head. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

At that point, she burst out laughing. I had no idea what to make of it. I waited.

"Love," she said. "I'm not surprised you outsmarted me. You think too much and I don't think at all. We really do need to work together."

That got me chuckling as well.

"So if I want sex this evening — something I've been looking forward to all day," she said. "I either have to use the condoms on your cage again or go and find some stud. Is that what you want me to do?"

"There is one other thing," I said.

"Not have sex at all? I deserve that," she said. "Cruel but true."

"One other beside that."

"Find a woman?"

"Beside that."

"Go buy some toys?"

"Beside that."

By now she was lying on the bed holding her sides giggling uncontrollably. Eventually, she stopped enough to breathe.

"On the way back from my walk, I bought something,” I said. “Top left hand drawer."

"I daren't look," she said. "What is it, a sex robot?"

"Go and look."

She opened the drawer. "Oh my God," she said. "Oh, that's so funny. A jail breaking kit — the other way to get out of a cage.”

She heaved the tool out of the drawer. These things were a couple of feet long and weighed a few pounds. She swung the tool away from her body trying to hold it horizontally.

“You are a crazy person,” she said. “What were you thinking?”

“I wanted to be sure you wanted me. I wasn’t sure I knew what you wanted, I wasn’t sure you knew yourself.”

“So you’d risk me cutting your balls off to prove I love you?”

“I thought if you had to do something drastic then I’d know for sure. I was hoping it wouldn’t be too awful, but I’d risk a little bloodshed for you.”

“So which bit am I supposed to cut?”

“The padlock, the shiny shaft part, cut that and then you can undo it. Or you can wait till we get home.”

"How did you find out about this?"

"It's kind of obvious but I read somewhere it's what paramedics use when they come across cock cages. That idea sort of sticks in the mind."

“You’re putting me on the spot,” she said.

“Guilty as charged.”

“Fuck,” she said. “You’re right, let's eat. This is doing my head in.”

We dressed. “Let’s go out somewhere,” I said. “I think  some walking would be good for us.”

“Okay,” she said. “What do you fancy?”

“Chinese?”

“Yeah, one of those little places, chopsticks, green tea and all that.”

We found just such a place half a mile away, all the staff speaking in Chinese to each other so you kind of assume the food is genuine — it tasted good and it’s always a laugh trying to pick up water chestnuts with chopsticks.

“Thanks, love,” she said, “I’m sorry I’ve done this to you.”

“Thanks for what?”

“Being so fucking clever to manage to push me and give me space at the same time.”

“Think nothing of it,” I said. “It’s a side effect of being madly in love, pissed off and scared shitless at the same time.”

“That’s what I’m sorry about. You’re right to be scared... and angry too, I mean angry obviously... if you’d been fucking some mini harem, done something like that to me I’d have been seriously pissed off...”

“Go back to the scared bit.”

She looked lost for a second, numb, and it wasn’t just the Szechuan sizzling beef that was making our lips numb.“ I was out of control, anything could have happened, you were right to be scared...”

I took another mouthful of beef and waited— it didn’t sound as though we were done yet.

“I liked it,” she said. “You know, being a slut, it was liberating. It felt like there was nothing I couldn’t do, I liked it a lot but God knows where I might have ended up.”

She looked up, a piece of beef poised in her chopsticks, halfway to her mouth, watching my face, looking for clues I guess. I felt as if I was at a fork in the road, the big problem being that I had no idea where any of the roads led. I waited for her— she waited for me. I guess it took a minute at least before I understood that I had to say something, but I had no idea what. I had to throw it back to her.

"I kind of guessed that— that's why I had to do something."

"So how does it make you feel now?"

"Scared but not angry. I don't have anyone to be angry with— nobody is trying to take you away from me, not right now, not that I know about... but... well... you could decide that you could do better with someone else. Or... maybe lots of different someones and you could get yourself into trouble and I might not be able to keep you safe."

“And that’s what matters to you?”

"Yeah, and it's so damn complicated. Every time I think about us it sort of comes apart, I think about you and I think about me. Who am I, what am I like— really— deep down."

"Meaning what?"

"Do you think about yourself? Three months ago you were a dutiful wife, ambitious, working on a shared vision of our future, wanting to do your bit to earn money so we both had a better life. Three months later, you're a promiscuous slut doing things you've never done before, risking your job and your marriage for better sex with no idea where it might lead."

I held up my hand to stop her saying anything.

"Meanwhile, I'm a work from home, freelance designer, stuck in a conventional view of our marriage, our home, our future. The only excitement in my life is seeing your smile when you come home. Pushy as hell when it comes to solving other people's problems, and thinking that the way to make you happy was to earn a bit more money and save some for a better future... whilst not actually thinking what that future might be."

"And then I turned everything upside down."

"Yeah, so I fought back, doing what I do, innovating, attending to detail, but to get where? It can't be to get back to being mister boring."

"I'm enjoying this,” she said. “Actually enjoying might not be exactly the right word, I'm finding this riveting, so keep going."

"Let's say for the minute that you're not leaving me but you still want to be adventurous."

“You mean seeking better sex elsewhere?” she said, there was a soft croak in her voice, hesitancy, doubt.

“Most likely I'd be jealous... I think... bound to be, and sometimes it would get to me. I don’t think I could cope with being told I was useless in bed or any of that other humiliation stuff I’ve read about, but as long you kept coming back home and we talked about everything you did, I think there’s a good chance that I’d get over it. You being safe, that’s what I’d worry about, you not being safe would eat me up.”

“You keep surprising me,” she said. “As fast as I get one thing straight you give me more to think about.”

“I don’t want you to sleep around, but if you have to... we’d have to work on it...”

I don’t know what my face looked like but I could see Carol looking deadly serious.     

“Food's getting cold,” I said, taking another mouthful. “I’ll be alright if they’re all like Eddie.”

She laughed. “If they were all like Eddie I’d give it up.”

“Have you decided what to do tonight?”

“Not yet.” She laughed again, more of a nervous giggle this time. She looked up at me across the table, fixing me with a determined grin. “Don’t worry, you’re doing the right thing, pushing me to think, making me decide. I think part of the deal has to be me pushing you sometimes, constructively, like you're doing to me but I'm not up to that yet. I’m not used to this. I know I started it, I fucked everything up, so I have a responsibility. I get that but you’re being so clever... sneaky too, topping from the bottom — I mean you’re the one in the cage and yet you’re forcing the issue. It’s a completely different kind of domination. It’s weird, it takes me to a different place, you know, compared to being thrown on the bed and fucked silly.”

She stopped for a second, studying my face. I wondered if she could see my doubts creeping in. She chuckled again. “It stretches different bits of me, I’m having a job coping but I know it's good for me. You know the best thing?”

I shook my head, I was beginning to feel okay but I still had no idea where this was ending up.

“Respect,” she said. “I feel respected. I know I got off on being treated like a slut, but this is more of a mental fuck, it’s on a whole different level. I’m never going to get what you’re doing from some random big cock stud.”

She smiled and for a second it was almost coy. It made me glow, and it wasn’t the chilli. That sounded good, made me feel good, but did she still need the buzz of a disrespectful fuck. I had no idea and I wasn’t sure that Carol knew either. I guessed it might take a while before we knew, so I settled into enjoying the rest of the meal and letting things happen.