More games
I tend to sleep in stretches an hour or two at a time. The first time I woke I was disoriented. It took a minute before I knew where I was. I looked at my phone and it was three a.m. Andrea was fast asleep. My phone showed one dot of signal but it disappeared as I watched. At least my movie and text from earlier in the evening had actually gone. When it went--or more important, when Carol got it--I had no idea. I hoped it was before she slept, but who knows.
I woke again at four thirty in a panic. No idea what I’d been dreaming about but it can’t have been good. I missed Carol; I wanted to talk to her? Wanted to check that she wasn't worried. Lying there in a strange bed felt weird. Hotel beds like I’d slept in for the last week feel like a hotel, much the same everywhere. This felt different; it had an atmosphere, a personality. Andrea had a different scent, breathed with a different rhythm, the way she curled up in bed was not the same. She might have as good a figure as Carol, as pretty a face, as bright a smile— but she wasn't Carol.
Lying next to her I knew more than ever before that whatever Carol wanted to make it work, I had to be assertive about it. I couldn't have Carol making the rules. We could work together but I wasn't going to be an unhappy wimp in some femdom game.
My big problem was how hard to be. The last week was so up and down that I had no sure feeling about what lines to draw and where to draw them. Deep down I'd rather Carol didn't fuck around. If the last two weeks were any guide then if I wanted to know where she was and what she was doing all the time I'd need a lot more stamina, maybe more than I had.
We needed to find a way to trust each other, but what did that mean? Worst case, it had to be me trusting that she'd always come back to me, but that felt too risky. Dean and Jay were probably safer than I'd made Carol believe— Dean had a wife at home; he couldn't risk taking anything unwanted back to her. I'd checked his bathroom cupboard; there was no sign or antibiotics or HIV treatment. Making Carol get tested was more about education, about me being assertive than it ever was about a real risk... I think. Other men might not be so safe, especially if she thought she had a free rein.
None of this was the right thing to think about in the middle of the night in a strange woman's bed— but it was hard to get out of my mind.
You might think I should have left right then, but we'd gotten here in Andrea's car; calling a cab from here wouldn't be easy, I didn't have an address and there was no signal on my phone. I could wake Andrea but I'd promised I'd wake up with her and a promise is a promise in my book.
All I had to do right then was find a way to get back to sleep. Not as easy as it sounds. After ten minutes of staring at a ceiling I couldn't actually see because Andrea has blackout blinds, I slid out of bed and crept downstairs. I found some milk in the fridge and drank half a glass— I guess I could have chosen whisky or some other booze but right then I wanted to settle my stomach and leave my brain alive.
I tiptoed around the house, ending up in that room full of mirrors she called her office. This time I got a closer look and saw the stuff on her desk. There was a seemingly random mix of drawings and photos, and I understood the mirrors. All the pictures were of Andrea wearing pieces of cloth, draped in every way you could imagine around her naked figure. I could see where her ideas came from. The artist in me made sense of the pictures and sketches.
I don't know why but looking at those images I imagined one reason why her husband might have left. Andrea was obsessed with her image, but a constantly changing image at that. Those papers on her desk showed a dozen different Andreas; my guess was that every day the poor guy came home he might find a different woman. It wasn't just the drape of the fabric or the impact of the colours; in every picture, there was a different woman. Same face, same legs but somehow she seemed to disappear into the dress. My guess was that Dean was the final straw. I don't know the story; she may have had a run with Dean because her husband was up to no good. Best not to make assumptions, but sure as hell this was a woman obsessed with looks.
The last thing I saw before I crept back upstairs was the fax that she'd sent to Carol. The original was hanging out of the machine. Across the top, she'd written—
Sorry I stole your husband, come and get him back if you can.
Under that was her address.
I didn’t read the other two pages; I guessed they were all about the contract. I’d read enough to be left wondering what the hell would Carol think when she read the handwritten message? What did 'if you can' mean?
I crept back upstairs trying not to think about Carol. I wished some clever author was writing this story, not me. He would know what Carol was thinking, he could see her in bed, know if she was sleeping, know if she was sweet dreaming or having nightmares. All I can do is tell you how I felt.
Conflicted— that's how I felt. I'd promised Andrea that I'd wake up with her, promised her sex before breakfast. I needed to give her a good start to the day, but now I knew that there was every chance that Carol would appear, but exactly when I had no idea. I had to give Andrea what she craved and not leave her being so loving and attached that Carol smelt a rat. For a guy who'd never been unfaithful, who'd only had sex with one woman in ten years before tonight, this was going to be a hell of a morning.
I cuddled up close to Andrea, thinking as hard as I could about how much fun she would be in the morning. I needed to wake up with a hard-on and no doubts.
I don’t know who woke first; I think I felt her in my arms before she rolled over and kissed me. I felt her breast against my chest, her thighs wrapping around me and then a hand creeping down to hold my cock. Being half awake, out of my depth and in a strange place somehow distorted my sense of time.
Everything seemed to take forever, like a slow-motion lazy Sunday, but I don’t think I breathed in and out more than twice before she’d eased me into her. She held me, working her hips around and up and down, nestling against me, joining us like we were glued together.
It happened so fast and yet so slow at the same time that my brain had no control. Everything was visceral and instinctive. I tried hard to be objective; that sounds heartless but I was torn. I wanted Andrea to have a great time but I needed in my heart to be true to Carol. What did that mean?
It's kind of impossible to think about philosophy and the meaning of life and marriage and all that when your body is being enjoyed by a woman who has longed for the last six months to wake up with a man. Her needs were raw right then, before her whole brain was awake, before she'd wrapped all the usual conventions and social niceties around herself. Right then it was skin on skin.
One arm was wrapped around me; the other was working my cock, while her lips were all over my face. She smelled good, she felt good, warm and kind of soft and firm at the same time.
"Come on me," she said. "I want you on me, I want you in me."
"What about—"
"I'm safe," she said, kissing me between every word and breath. "I'm not a fucking optimist. I need a man but I don't need kids."
It's a weird thing but on top of a strange woman, looking at a face I didn't know, it changed things. I was feeling my way, studying her face, looking for signs that I was doing the right thing, hitting the right spots. The deeper I got the more I could see her going misty, getting into herself, into some zone where what mattered most was what was going on inside her.
I reached down with one hand to find more buttons to press and stopped worrying about my weight on her. We sank deeper into the mattress. The physical contact was exhilarating but somehow it still felt like an academic fuck if there is such a thing. I know some women like to be taken, to feel like they're an object for the man's pleasure, my pleasure. It didn't feel like that. I could feel her need, six months of an empty bed. I knew what the tears and frustration must feel like... I'd been there myself when I started to worry about what Carol was getting up to.
I worked to get beyond the intellectualising, get past it, be in the moment. I felt as though I was soaking up her pain, pulling it out of her, letting her be the woman she could be, not the wannabe wife she'd been for the last six months.
Okay, so that's all bullshit but I wanted her to have good feelings, to be a woman that could pull a man in and enjoy it, and feel so good she'd know she could do it again.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was telling Carol what I was doing. That inner voice was giving a running commentary as if Carol was there. I know I'm not a telepath and neither is Carol but I knew I'd have to own up to the whole thing and tell every detail if she asked and I think my brain couldn't help rehearsing it.
"You're good," Andrea whispered. "Where've you been all my life?"
I almost said, married to Carol but stopped myself. I didn't want to spoil the mood. I allowed myself a kind of giggly sigh— what's that called— a gigh maybe? or a siggle? 'Siggle' sounds better to me. I've heard people make that noise plenty of times and I don't know a word for it. I kept going, working harder using my cock and fingers and working my pelvis to make my cock hit different spots inside her. I could feel her rising into an orgasm and when it came it was an earthquake. She really must miss those kinds of mornings, I thought.
I let her wind down, ignoring what my cock was telling me. I promised a three-hole experience, and I'd done that last night. I hadn't promised to fill every hole over and over. About then I thought about condoms. We used one last night but that had been the one I planned on using in the morning. I should have grabbed a handful. The way she'd gone on about missing mornings I'd kind of assumed that she must be clean, but that didn't follow at all. A woman that needy might have fucked anything that was going.
"That was so good," Andrea said. "So good. He's a treasure, isn't he."
Who the hell was she talking to?
As I wound down from my exertions I heard a sound behind me— clapping. Not wild applause; slow steady clapping, not quite sardonic, but with an edge to it.
I rolled off Andrea to see Carol standing in the doorway.
Gasp— adrenaline surge— panic... all of that, but Carol was standing there dressed in nothing but her chastity belt.
I was shocked, sure, but her being naked put a different spin on everything. What shocked me most was how the hell she got in the house. The clock showed two minutes after eight. The doorbell hadn’t rung— what had I missed?
Carol ignored me and spoke to Andrea.
“Marks out of ten?”
I looked back to Andrea, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.