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Captain Scrotum and the SS thrust: chapter 2

Captain Scrotum and the SS thrust: chapter 2

OMG what is Scrotum going to do now (Panic?)

“Lilly!" Scrotum shouted while panicking, “How long will it take Anna to clean this mess up?”

“I’m sorry, sexy ass.  Anna is not programmed to move dead bodies.”

Scrotum rushed over and picked up the dead woman, “Now you get Anna to clean up and I will hide her.”  Scrotum shouted to Lilly.

“Whatever you desire, hot stuff,” Lilly replied back.

Scrotum staggered down the corridor. He had picked the body up upside down so that her knees were resting on his shoulders and her head resting against his groyne.  He was panicking.

 “Where the fuck am I going to put her?” he asked himself as sweat poured off his brow.  He went down the lift and then staggered into the cargo bay and looked around.  Apart from the 3D sex pictures on the wall and his favourite wanking chair, it was empty. Anyone would see her if anyone came in here.

The kitchen and food storage was next, “I'll put her in the freezer!” he said out loud, but when he finally got to the freezer and manoeuvred the door open, and stopped dead.  

A wall of pizzas stood in his way, “Oh, you've got to be kidding me!” He moaned again as he tried to close the door with the dead woman against the pizzas but it was impossible.

The comm switched on, “Scrot are you there?”

Scrotum swallowed hard.  He had to answer, to make an excuse so his uncle didn’t come aboard until Anna had finished cleaning up the blood and he had hidden the body.

“I’m here, give me ten or fifteen minutes Uncle Dom, I’m naked.” He said out loud, the comm relaying what he said to his Uncle.

“It takes you fifteen minutes to put on a pair of pants?” Dom asked, unsure why Scrot sounded so panicky, he didn’t want him to try and fix Lilly. Knowing Scrot, he would surely break the computer, and he didn’t want to buy another AI, they weren't cheap.

“Err, I can't find any,” Scrot shouted back as he picked up the woman and carried her into the engine room. He was hoping he could dump her into a fuel pod, or even into the core, but all the fuel pods were full, and the core couldn’t be accessed with the engines online.

“Override, Override!” Scrotum shouted panicking having run out of possible hiding places.

“I’m sorry, hot buns.  The radiation levels are too high. You would fry yourself.”

“I don’t care!” Scrotum shouted at Lilly.

“What are you trying to override Scrot?” his uncle asked, with concern, having only heard Scrotum's side of the conversation.

“Nothing... nothing important Uncle Dom!” Scrotum shouted, having forgotten the comm was still on.

“I’m sorry, my sexy lover, access denied. It's too dangerous.” Lilly continued.

“I’m coming in,” Dom shouted getting anxious.

“No, just wait one minute Uncle,” Scrotum shouted back as he waddled back to the lift and went back up, still carrying the dead body, wheezing as he hadn’t done anything this strenuous in a long time.  He entered his bedroom threw back the sheets and placed the body down and pulled the covers back over. He then tore off his bloodstained clothes throwing them into the laundry basket and quickly got dressed, going commando as he couldn’t find any underpants.

He opened the bedroom door only to see his Uncle standing on the other side. “Err, hello Uncle. How are you today?”

Dom looked at Scrot.  He looked sweaty. He glanced over his shoulder into the bedroom and saw a woman in his bed. “Oh, you don’t usually have female company, Scrotum. Not at this time of the day, and certainly not sleeping in your bed, they often leave after fifteen minutes don’t they?”

“Ha ha ha, you're such a kidder Uncle Dom,” Scrotum said with a laugh, even though his uncle was right.

“Maybe you can introduce me?” Dom asked with a smile while licking his lips. The smile faded from Scrotum’s face, last time he had introduced a potential girlfriend to his uncle she had ended up sleeping with him. But this was not the time to dwell on such matters.

“She’s a heavy sleeper,” Scrotum replied, “and... and she's been ill. You see, we drank too much, and we were up all night and… and… she's married!” Scrotum cried as he tried to sound convincing.

His uncle shook his head, “Listen, boy, if she didn’t want to sleep with you, you could have just said.”

“She did,” Scrotum lied… “Err, I've seen her naked.” He added.

“It doesn’t matter to me nephew, as long as you are happy and don’t kill yourself, it will be all right.”

“Yes, Uncle Dom.”

“So, let her sleep. We can go into the guest quarters and talk about your ship and Lilly.”

Scrotums eyes opened wide, “No! Err no… err no… we should… err… go to the cockpit.  I'll explain everything there.”

Dom looked confused but followed Scrotum to the cockpit.

As soon as Dom sat down, Lilly announced: “Anna has finished her cleaning my sexy hunk, may I massage your balls now?”

Scrotum closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them, only to see his uncle grinning. “So... what have you done to Lilly?” He asked.

Scrotum decided the truth was the best option, with head hung low he replied, “I bought a sex program and installed it on the computer but the new program mixed with Lilly’s AI, and now she talks like that.”

“I know, I knew months ago, Lilly sends me reports on your ship once a day, and suddenly she was talking about sucking me off… I ran a diagnostic last time you were on the station.  Nothing serious is effected some code has been replaced and her voice protocols and some logic routines have been corrupted, but are stable, so you can keep your Lilly. I’m sure she will cause you as much trouble as fun. Now you have to live with it.”

Scrotum looked surprised, partly because his uncle had known and was keeping track of him and partly because he wanted his uncle to fix Lilly but also wanted him off the ship so he could get rid of the body before the imperial guards turned up.

“Thank you, uncle, is that all?”

“No, it's not. Look, son,” the smile from Scrotum faded as when Uncle Dom called him son it meant a long lecture.  “I have to say that I feel you can do more with your life, I know you wanted to be a famous pirate, but if you got a job you could have more …”

Suddenly an alarm sounded, which made Scrotum smile.  “Apologies, you sexy men, but a General Knob is asking to speak to the Captain of this ship. Shall I patch him through my hunky sexy captain.”

Scrotum thought about it for a moment. Should he let his uncle continue the 'get the job lecture' or should he talk with someone who may suspect he had killed someone.  (It was a tough choice.) “Ignore him, Lilly.”

“Yes, my eye candy,” Lilly replied.

“Why does the head of the Imperial Security Force in this sector want to talk to you?” Dom asked.

Scrotum was silent.  He couldn’t think of a reason except for the dead body lying in his bed at that moment and Scrotum didn’t want to tell his uncle about that.

“Did you try and download more illegal porn?”

A light bulb went on in Scrotum’s head, “Yes, why yes, uncle, that’s exactly what I did.  I’m sorry uncle.”

“Don’t apologise to me. Know this, if you end up locked up, again, don’t expect me to pay your bail, again,” Dom replied testily before standing up. “You look after yourself, and if that woman friend of yours needs somewhere else to stay, send her to my office,”

Scrotum noticed his uncle was suddenly in a hurry to leave since the Imperial Security Captain's communication. Not that he was complaining, he needed his uncle to go so he could hide the body better.

The alarm sounded again, “I’m sorry, big balls, General Knob is on the com. again.”

Dom rushed out with a quick, “Good luck,” leaving Scrotum to deal with the General.

“Put him on monitor two, Lilly.”

“Yes, sexy boy,” Lilly replied before Knob's face appeared on the small screen to the left of the steering wheel. Scrotum knew he was an officer in the Imperial guards due to his uniform.

“This is Captain Scrot of the S.S Thrust. How may I help you, Sir?"

“Captain, This is General Knob of the Imperial Serious Crime Force. We had a report of a search for an unknown dead woman’s identity come from your computer's ID.

Scrotum bit his lip, nervously glancing at the doorway, “No, no. No stabbed women here Knob... Sir, I mean General Sir!”

Knob suddenly looked very thoughtful, “Stabbed?” he asked.

”Think fast,” Scrot thought to himself before adding, “No shot women or hanged women either.”

“Are you saying there are three dead women there?” Knob asked.

“No, none dead. Just one sleeping,” Scrotum said, “Had a night with her last night just couldn’t remember her name,” Scrotum lied with a sheepish grin.

“Right, of course. We are running the woman’s ID through the database but no matter what the outcome I think we will come down and run a quick search of your ship.” General Knob said.

“You don’t have to... Sir,” Scrotum quickly tried to reply but the monitor had already gone blank.

“What a Knob!” Scrotum said out loud before realising his name. “Knob the Knob ha ha.”  He giggled at the fact he had thought of that but soon, but knob was going to be a problem unless he got rid of the dead body before he came aboard!

Scrotum entered the bedroom only to see a woman kneeling at the side of the bed praying “Err, excuse me, what are you doing?”

The woman stood and looked at Scrotum.  She was hot. Scrotum could feel another boner forming in his trousers. He grinned as he eyed her slowly up and down. She looked very familiar. She wore a tight sexy white top, matching pants and white leather boots.   In contrast, she had a black belt, black kneepads and one of her sleeves was also black and armoured.  She was possibly the most beautiful woman Scrotum had ever seen.  He licked his lips lustfully until he noticed she had a gun in her hand.

The grin suddenly disappeared from Scrotum's face, 'SHE HAS A GUN IN HER HAND!' he thought to himself as he swallowed.

Scrotum took a step back “Please don’t kill me!” he begged, trying to work his way out of the room.

The women looked at the short chubby man who wore combat trousers and a food-stained T-shirt.

“How did she die?” She asked.

Scrotum suddenly realised the woman was identical looking to the hot woman in his bed. “I thought you were dead,” he looked over at the dead body, “I mean you are dead. How did you do that?”

“She is my sister.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Scrotum replied, genuinely meaning it.

“How did she die?” the woman asked again.

“I don’t know.” Scrotum replied, glancing from the dead girl to her sister.

“Did you kill her?” the beautiful sexy woman asked, raising the gun.

Panic entered Scrotum’s mind, “I found her dead in my other bedroom. I woke up with a hangover, and I don’t know how she got there. I don’t think I stabbed her when she was alive, all I did was to put her in the bed to hide her.” Scrotum answered quickly in one breath.

“Her body is still warm Rigour is only just starting to set in. She hasn’t been dead for long,” The beautiful woman holding the gun said.

Scrotum opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure what was going on. “Lilly? Is there anyone else on the ship?” he asked.

“No, hot stuff, scans show only one life sign,” Lilly replied,

“Well, at least whoever killed her is gone,” Scrotum said before he realised there should have been at least two. He looked at the woman suspiciously, “Why don’t you register on the sensors?”

“I have a jammer device in my forearm as did my sisters.” Scrotum could see tears forming in her eyes. “I am the last.  All of my sisters are now dead, which means the Hunter will now be looking for me.

“Hunter?” Scrotum asked.

“I am a Whorea,” the young woman said as if it explained everything.

“A whore?”

“A Whorea!”

“A Whore!”

“No,” The sexy young woman stated, stamping her foot, Scrotum watched as her breasts wobbled, “A Whorea. Let me explain.”


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