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When I exhaled

Sarah discovers that she is a squirter.
The smoke from the Camel cigarette filled my lungs. I exhaled audibly. It was early morning. 4:04 am to be exact. Ren had already fallen asleep. My bedroom was dim. A single vanilla scented soy candle cast an eerie glow against the cornflower blue walls. The white sheets were twisted around Ren’s long, sinewy body. The veins were visible on his lean yet muscular pale arms. A red star, the size of a golf ball was tattooed on either shoulder. His espresso colored hair draped over his eyes like a blanket. The corners of his mouth curled like a half moon. I stared at the way our clothes were scattered in piles on the hardwood floor. I had only met Ren a few days ago, 3 to be exact. We met at my job. I’m a server at an upscale lounge in downtown. He was there with his best friend, Patrick having lunch. Thing is, I thought Patrick was really hot at first. He was a blonde and blue eyed specimen, tall and fit with strong arms. His hair in a buzz cut and he wore a V neck t-shirt. Since they were seated in my area I went over and flirted with him relentlessly;

“ Welcome to Cobalt, guys. Our specials today are a duck confit and apple wood smoked bacon pizza and a succulent lobster ravioli in a chanterelle and shitake beurre blanc.” I ran my fingers through my tousled hair and thrust my ample chest forward; hoping Patrick would notice my assets despite my modest black t- shirt, apron and black slack ensemble. Oh, and of course I would pick to wear sensible shoes that day. Patrick’s face was buried in the menu, but Ren definitely noticed as his cheeks were flushed. He cleared his throat before managing to let out a cracked and strained “Thanks.’ I smooth my apron over my thighs nervously. “Will you gentlemen be having drinks this afternoon?”

“Yes, Patrick began, not lifting his head from the menu once; ‘I’ll have a lavender soda with light ice.”

“And you?’ I said turning to Ren who met me head on with very deliberate and generous eye contact. He smiled and our eyes locked and I got butterflies in my belly in an instant.

“I’ll have a Henekin”

‘Okay. I’ll have that for you in a few moments.” I turned to walk towards the kitchen. Not even five steps away did I hear Ren whisper in a not so soft voice. “Nice ass.’

Ren ordered our Kobe burger and Patrick ordered a tiger shrimp salad with cilantro and roasted pepita dressing. As I leaned over to clear their plates I could feel Ren’s eyes studying me.

He cleared his throat. ‘What’s your name?”

“Sarah.” I replied.

“I hate to be so forward, but you are very pretty and…I need to see you again Sarah.”

I was speechless. I looked at him and then Patrick. Patrick was visibly amused.

‘Uhhhhh…” I laughed uneasily.

“Can I get your number Sarah? Or I can give you mine.”

“Sure.775-2237.” I recited in a bit of a daze. Ren pulled his cell phone from his pocket and began typing in my number.

“This area code?”

“Sure, yeah.’

“I’m calling you tonight. By the way, this is my friend Patrick and I am Ren.” Ren’s eye gave a mischievous glint. His aggression was actually refreshing. They tipped me 28 dollars from a bill of 58.76$. I knew that was a very substantial tip for a not so busy Monday afternoon.

I went shopping after work. I bought a vintage, black leather bomber jacket at the Buffalo Exchange, some soaps and shampoo from Lush and afterwards I called my best friend, Roxy for a drink at the High Dive. She walked in wearing electric blue tights, black cowboy boots, a black mini dress with a sequined border, too much eyeliner and her platinum hair was back in a shiny black head band. She was slender and leggy. The opposite of me.

She smelled like cigarette smoke and something citrus embellished with gardenia,maybe a Dior fragrance. She joined me at the bar. Roxy ordered a vanilla Stoli and soda, I a Manhattan. She was a bit of a mess since her boyfriend Ethan’s band went on tour for a few weeks, headed for the east coast.

“I don’t know what to do with my self…” She was chewing ice now; her eyes were filled with grief. This was the first time that Ethan had been on tour since their two year union.

“When did you speak to him last?” I rubbed her shoulder affectionately. “An hour ago, they were headed into West Virginia in that stinky, farty van.”

“See.” I smiled. “He’s just working, Roxy. You got what you wanted, to be the girlfriend of a guitarist in an indie band. This is how it works; he goes on tour, he comes home and you guys can pay your bills .”

“I know. I know. I just hate being with out him. Alone in bed, dinner’s for one. No sweet lovin’ from my man. He fucks me so good. I miss that cock so much” Her eyes grew dreamy now.

Roxy loved to provide me with way too much info about her amazing sex life with Ethan. For almost 3 years she gave me every detail about Ethan’s cock and sexual prowess, to the point that I actually wanted to fuck him myself. Terrible, I know, but so true.

“Well, you still got me.” I offered.

She smiled in response; a very fake and exaggerated smile.

I nodded. “I know.” It was all too obvious that I didn’t possess a penis.

We both laughed. I was half way through my Manhattan and was feeling way relaxed when Roxy asked me; “How was your day? Anything exciting happen?”

I giggled, as I recalled Ren’s mischievous glint.

“Yeah. I served these two hotties today at work. One was a blonde tall drink, a young Jason Statham type, but not as bulky, with the iciest blue eyes. He was dressed tastefully. A Fred Perry polo, jeans, Chuck Taylor’s. His eyes were so amazing. He came off so confident and aloof.” I have a really bad habit of noticing everything that anyone wears, no matter what and an even worse habit of detailing it all to Roxy in conversation. One of my many quirks.

“Not my type, she replied “But I am intrigued.”

“I know that you like skinny rocker boys. Well, we both do.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Yes! Like my Ethan…”

I interrupted her. “Well you will probably think the one that got my number is way hotter.”

“Someone got your number today?!” Her eyes lit up. “Who? Who? Who?” She sounded like a fucking owl.

“Well his name is Ren. He too is tall, but dark hair and eyes. He’s kinda cute. A little scruffy, a bit more rocker. Shaggy dark hair, the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. Black jeans, a hoody, black Adidas Sambas."

“Sounds scrumptious.” Roxy swooned.

“Yes, He was so forward. It was kinda cool and creepy at the same time. It just makes me wonder if there is something wrong with him. I mean why was he so intense?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know. But he sounds very hot! Just see if he calls and gauge if he’s completely psycho over the phone.”

“I guess that’s all I can do.” I said.

We ordered another round. We order four before we leave. Crunk .

The next few days would prove uneventful. Work, drinks, dancing, sleep, food, showers. Monotonous. So monotonous in fact that I had forgotten all about Ren. So when he called me on a Thursday evening shortly after arriving home from Cobalt I was taken a back.

“Hello Sarah speaking.” I had just taken off my earrings.

“Hi, this is Ren. I met you at Cobalt. You served me and my friend Patrick.”

“Oh. Yeah. Hi.”

“How are you?” His voice was much deeper than I had remembered.’

“Not bad. Just got off work.”

“Was this a shitty time?”

“No, not at all.” I sat on my bed and began pulling off my shoes. A pair of insensible Jeffrey Campbell stilettos. My heels ached something fierce.

“Well, I was calling to…he paused nervously, ‘to…see how you were.” He chuckled. “I mean, I wanted to know if you were interested in doing something tomorrow night. Dinner, cocktails?” He was so polite and timid.

“Sure. Where? When?” I asked rather impulsively.

“Sushi. Do you like sushi?”

“Yes and sashimi and sake.” I giggled.

“What area of town are you in?”

“West side.”

“Me too. By Alder and Madison.”

“I’m by Alder and Mason.” I laughed at what close proximity we lived to each other.

“That’s the next street over. Weird. I skated near there just a few hours ago.”

“Roller skates?” I smiled.

“Fuck no. Long board.”

“Cool. Like Tony Hawk”

He laughed. “No. Not so much. I wish I had his money though.Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner but Patrick told me to chill out and call you closer to the weekend. It took a lot for me to wait it out.”

“Are you always this honest?”

“To a fault. I am the worst liar ever. It sucks. I use to always get into trouble growing up because I was so horrible at lying my way out of stuff.”

“That’s good to know.”

“So Sarah, are you seeing anyone?’

“You’re so blunt. But as a matter of fact, no. You?”

“Blunt is the only way I can be…and no.”

This conversation was way too easy.

“So what do you do for a living? Since you already know what I do.”

“Construction foreman. I use to do the dirty work but now I just mostly watch everyone else.”

“Nice.”

“Do I please you?” He said in a mock German accent.

I laughed. “Is Patrick your best friend?”

“Since 5 th grade. He is also my roommate and he is also very gay.’

“Gay?”

“Yeah, like Elton John and George Michael and Boy George…”

I cut him off. “I get it! But you’re straight?”

“Of course, I just couldn’t stand watching you throw yourself at him so blatantly so I intervened and suddenly found myself intrigued.’

I couldn’t help giggling as my cheeks glowed a bright crimson. Gay. “I had no idea.”

“That was pretty fucking obvious. It’s okay. Patrick’s really handsome.”

I suddenly became the aggressor because I was feeling so at ease with him. “You should come by for a drink. I mean you’re like so close you could walk.”

“Why walk when I can skate.”

I gave him my address and told him to give me a few minutes to clean up. I called Roxy and told her what I had done and asked her to call me in an hour to check on me to make sure I was ok. Well he may have been nice over the phone but he was still practically a stranger.

I showered quickly and pulled my long curly hair back in a bun. I put on a pair of denim cut offs, and an old Siouxsie and the Banshees t-shirt. I surveyed my petite and curvaceous body in the mirror and felt I looked fine. I put mascara on my lashes and some lip balm on my lips to help natural beauty along. I went to my kitchen to make sure the ice trays were filled. I had a quarter bottle of vodka on hand, plus four Newcastle Ales and a bottle of good Pinot Grigio. My mom always told me a little booze goes a long way.

I heard the sound of his skateboard’s wheels zipping along the walk way in front of my apartment, followed by the thud of footsteps on my front porch. He knocked on the door and you know something; he was much cuter than I remembered. He was clad in black pants and a plain white tee along with his Adidas sambas and a sheepish grin. He had a bottle of something in a brown paper bag in his hand. I let him in. “Is it okay if I leave my board outside?”

“I think so. This isn’t the burbs but it’s not crack alley either.”

“Cool. I brought over a bottle of wine for you. It’s my favorite Cabernet Sauvignon.”

“Nice.” I don’t drink enough reds.”

“It’s nothing fancy.”

I sauntered into the kitchen to get some glasses and a corkscrew. My kitchen is my favorite part of the apartment. It’s so spacious and airy compared to the rest of the place. The black and white checkered tile is the coolest and all of my appliances are red except for the refrigerator which belongs to the landlord, that’s white. I grabbed two wine glasses and met him in the front room to find him culling through my cd collection.

“You have great taste in music, lady.”

“Do I? Well pick something.” I was uncorking the bottle but my eyes were on his tight ass as he kneeled over at the cd rack. He picked one by Broadcast. That made me very happy because now he too had great taste in music.

We chatted on the couch for sometime when suddenly we were interrupted by the call that I requested from Roxy. Half of me wanted to ignore it. I leapt for the phone catching it on the fourth and final ring.

“Hello.” I announced.

“Everything cool. He’s not a serial rapist or anything, right? No duct tape?” She laughed “No.” I replied. I kept my answers brief since I didn't want him to know that I was getting a check up call.

“Are you alone? In Private?”

“Nope.”

“Is he hot?”

“Yes.” I smiled.

“And you’re cool?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, I’ll call you tomorrow slut.” She giggled.

“Bye.”

I was starting to feel warm and rosy from the wine and began craving a cigarette. I usually smoke only after cocktails or great sex or which ever comes first. But I ignored this and leaned in closer to him and for the first time I caught his scent which was a mild mixture of sweat, wine, lemon grass, cedar, and mandarin but faint and delicate. My mouth watered. Our eyes locked. His eyes reminded me of milk chocolate with their dilated pupils. A sudden awkward silence ensued. I heard my self inhale audibly. We both laughed uncomfortably. He looked down at his vacant glass and reached for the wine bottle which was nearly empty.

“I have a bottle of Pinot Grigio in the kitchen.” I announced.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He replied.

The undeniable sexual tension between us had conjured up feelings of inexplicable and sumptuous heat. I slipped off the couch to retrieve the other bottle when I felt him wandering behind me.

“ Nice kitchen.” He commented.

“Yeah, I like it.” I was facing the fridge, my back was towards him. I could feel him standing over me and that is also when I felt his warm, callused hand smoothing down the nape of my exposed neck. I grew goose bumps instantly. I turned to look up at him. Ren’s jaw had grown slack and his breath seemed jagged. He cupped my face with his big hands and lowered his face closer to mine; his breath was warm and sweet. My lips parted and my eyes closed magnetically. I felt his plump and desirous mouth on mine, the tip of his tongue darting in and out softly. I moaned quietly, becoming weaker and weaker with each kiss. He pushed me up against the counter near the stove, his hands rubbing my denim clad thighs. He lowered his mouth down to my chin, then my neck; where he planted soft and wet kisses. My moans became louder. ‘Mmmmm…”

His hands traveled up my shirt stopping at my bra. First the back; where an incessant amount of pulling and stretching occurred and then the front; where he effortlessly unsnapped my bra in seconds, like a champ. Ren’s hands worked expertly on my breasts, caressing and kneading them gently, tugging my nipples until they were taut little pebbles. I had a wet and slippery little pool gathering between my legs.

“Let me have my way with you, Sarah.” He whispered. I swear my knees buckled when he said this. No one had ever said those words to me. It’s usually less eloquent and much crasser. His lips were on mine again and I began to feel apprehension but also I knew he was waiting for an answer. He took my right hand and placed it against his zipper. I wasn‘t surprised to find he was very hard. I curled my little fingers around the firm mass through his jeans. He let out a husky groan and started unbuttoning his pants. Ren quietly pulled out a thick and lovely stalk from his boxers with a glistening and wide mushroom shaped head. He began to stroke it and a bead of precum formed at the tip and streamed under the glans. A certain kind of hunger took over me and I wanted it in my mouth in a very desperate sort of way. I reached out to take it in my hand. He placed his hand over mine and removed it, he then shook his head. “No not yet.” He reached down to unbutton my shorts and pushed them down quickly to the middle of my thigh, and looped his fingers through the waist band of my panties to tug them down and immediately dropped to his knees. I could feel his breath on my neatly trimmed bush, his fingers pulling back the lips of my vulva. He inserted his fingers inside my unyielding cunt. It felt like two, possibly three fingers. He moved them in and out, the intrusive and slick sounds escaping with each thrust of his hand. I felt his forehead pressing against my lower abdomen when I closed my eyes and leaned back against the counter. His tongue began a slow and tantalizing roll against my clitoris. I let out a loud gasp and threaded my fingers into his dense and unruly head of hair. I swirled my hips on his fingers and mouth, all apprehension a fleeting thought. He drove his hand deeper inside me and I suddenly got this strong sensation that felt as if I had to pee. He kept going in and out, deeper and deeper. The sensation did subside a little as my arousal intensified.

Ren stopped without warning and looked up. “Let’s go to your bedroom.”

He stood up and pressed against me, we kissed again but this time I could taste me on his tongue. I lead us backward and a full twelve feet to my room, our pants collectively sliding down further the whole way.

He finished undressing me slowly as if he were actually savoring me. He stood, taking his time and planting kisses on my various body parts; a hand here, a shoulder there. I pulled his shirt over his head and flung it across the room. We both laughed like children. He pushed me onto the bed and parted my legs; he inserted his fingers inside me again. He gave an intense and pensive gaze as he did this. He seemed to have a motive, a purpose. He put his left hand on my lower abdomen and pressed down. I spread my legs apart more.

I rocked back and forth against his hand. His fingers seemed to be pressing against something that was giving me that weird sensation, the one that made me feel like I had to pee. I had never felt that before. “Sarah, I need for you to come.” He requested. He pressed harder into me and lowered his mouth on my clit.

“I‘m gonna pee…” I murmured.

He pressed even harder when I said this and quickly moved his hand in and out. He sucked my clit between his lips hard too. I started to let go. I became focused on the

rhythm.I bucked my hips back and forth on his hand and was only conscious of our experience. He looked up at me. “Sarah, come all over my hand, on my face. Come.”

That did it. It spread from my belly to my thighs. I felt my cunt contracting and then something liquid gushed out of me, maybe even shot out. A scream surfaced from the depths of my being. “Ohhh…oh…Fuck!” It was deafening.

He was below me laughing triumphantly. “That’s it baby, squirt for me!”

I literally heard what sounded like a fountain soaking the sheets. I gasped and was somewhere between laughing and crying. I was on an orgasmic and emotional plateau that I never knew that I could reach.

Ren crawled on top of me and kissed me. I felt the warm puddle that I had made under my buttocks slowly growing colder. “Wow! That was my g-spot wasn’t it?”

“Sounds like it.” He smiled rolling to the opposite side of the bed.

“How did you know?” I sat up.

“I had been fantasizing about it since the moment I laid eyes on you. But I didn‘t know. I just guessed.” He sat up and wiped the tears off my cheeks with his fingers. “You’re a sexy woman.” He held my chin and kissed my nose. “Take down your hair.” he asked.

“It’s still wet.” I smiled.

“Doesn’t matter.” He reached behind my head and pulled the bobby pins from my hair and watched my hair fall onto my shoulders in a twisted damp mass. “There.” He ran his fingers through it lovingly to separate the curls. The smell of ginger permeated the air from my shampoo.

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend?” I asked.

“I should be asking you the same thing. This is a pretty backwards ass date, isn’t it?” He laughed.

“Yeah.” I nodded, running my hand against the light dusting of dark hair across his chest.

“Well, he sighed. “Just haven’t found the right one yet.”

“Same here.” I replied.

“So far I like you.” He caught himself and chuckled. “Infact, we are having a proper date tomorrow. Better wear something nice.” He put his hands on my shoulders.

“Oh I will.”

I felt so at ease that I had forgotten that we were naked, until I looked down and noticed his cock. It was still erect. I took it in my hand and began to stroke it. We both looked at my hand. “Slower.” He urged. I slowed down and looked at how tiny my hand looked wrapped around his dick. I lowered my head between his legs and eased the fat and swollen head into my mouth. I moved my lips just on the head and stroked his shaft since I honestly couldn’t get too much more into my mouth, but he seemed to like this as I felt his body tense under me. He plunged his cock between my lips at a heightened pace. He reached under me and began squeezing my tits clumsily and urgently. I bobbed my head faster, trying to keep up with his thrusts.

“Dooon’t…wanna come. He chanted. “Don’t wanna…come.” He pulled out quickly. I looked up at him and laughed at the strained and pinched look on his flushed face. My mouth met the head of his cock once again. My tempo was urgent, aggressive like death metal. He put his hands on both sides of my face and announced that it was time. I felt his warm seed erupt on my tongue. He tasted salty and mild, the head of his cock spurted and throbbed violently. I swallowed each drop as quickly as it came. He fell back on the bed and I followed. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. I turned to face him and we kissed. We kissed for a long time. It felt like a quiet and peaceful meditation. Then suddenly that craving rushed over me. I climbed out of bed.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Gonna go get a cigarette. My dirty little secret.”

He laughed. “Closet smoker.”

He was snoring softly when I lumbered back in. I took a lighter out of the night stand next to the bed and lit the candle that sat next to my alarm clock. I turned off the bed room light and got in next to him, sitting up Indian style I lit the cigarette taking in a deep drag. I sat in the dark smiling, satisfied while a trail of dense smoke created a dragon like cloud above me. Did I ever have a story to tell Roxy. Nothing pleased me more than to let her know that I had had better sex than her.

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