It was almost 7:00. I waited nervously in my room for Steveto arrive. Steve was my boyfriend. My very first, real, live, boyfriend. Having a real boyfriend ushered me into the echelons of girls in the school who mattered. Having a boyfriend meant you were somebody, you were linked into the social hierarchy of high school and got to look down on all the virgin wallflowers waiting for someone to pick them out.

I could hardly believe that Steve had picked me out. I was almost a nobody, just a nerdy sophomore girl with a few friends in the math club. I had just turned sixteen a few weeks earlier, and I was about two echelons of popularity below the rich girls with their fancy clothes and the cheerleaders. I didn’t even get invited to the same parties. Steve, on the other hand, was a top dog on the swim team and a senior. Tall, handsome, athletic, popular. Somehow he had decided that he wanted me.

The doorbell rang and I rushed down to the door. My mother was already there answering it.

“You must be Steve” she said, smiling. She shook his hand.

Steve was well presented. Clean cut, affable, nice smile, and those good looks. “Evening, Mrs. Murphy. I hope Jane is ready to go. We’re going out to the drive-in tonight.” Steve offered me his arm.

“Of course. You must be anxious to get going. Well, have a good time,” Mom said, ushering us out as I grinned, gladly taking his arm as we walked out to the car.

We got in. The movie was so-so, but we didn’t spend much time watching it. We were too engrossed in each other. “You’re so great,” he said during a break from making out, “you’re so mature, not like other girls.”

“Really? “ I said. I didn’t think I was more mature than the popular girls on the cheerleading squad. Some of them dressed in really stylish provocative clothing, and wore heels, but I was still in jeans and running shoes. I wished I could afford the money to buy sexier clothes.

“Yeah, like how you’re so free when we have sex. It’s like you’re not all hung up on how it’s dirty or wrong.” Steve and I had had sex three times so far. We’d cut class and drove out to his dad’s cabin the first time. We got caught for being out of class, but we told our parents we’d been at the mall. Since then we had snuck off between classes and done it in an empty classroom and a janitor’s closet. I loved it. It made me feel so good.

“Thanks,” I said, shyly, “I guess I’m glad you feel that way.”

“You know,” he said, “If we ever break up, not that we’re going to, but if we ever break up, I want you to know that we can still be friends. We don’t have to pretend to like hate each other or something because that’s what people think you’re supposed to do with an ex-girlfriend. It’s dumb how people think sex prevents you from having a normal relationship ever again. ”

“You’re so right,” I said, “it’s stupid how hung up Americans are about sex. I wish we could be more like Europe, where they have topless beaches and nudity on television. You know prostitution is even legal there.” I had never been to Europe, but I wanted to sound sophisticated, the way he thought of me.

“Yeah,” he said, “I really think that it’s dumb how if a girl has sex with a lot of guys, they think she’s a slut, but if a guy does he’s a stud. Girls should be able to have just as much sex as guys and not be ashamed of it. Back in the day, the courtesans were some of the most educated women in Europe.”

I was impressed with how forward thinking and even feminist he was. What a great guy to have as a boyfriend. Not only was he handsome and athletic, but he was sophisticated and pro-feminist and not sexist at all. I leaned over and kissed him and started up our make-out session again.

When the movie ended he drove me back home and parked a few block away so he could walk me home. It was a gorgeous night. The air smelled sweet with the moist green of rain and cut grass. We held hands. “You’re so awesome,” he said again, leaning into my hair and kissing me on the neck. I smiled. It was so romantic.

About a block away from my house he stopped and turned to me. “God, you’re so cool, I hardly want to say this.” He looked up and away a little embarrassed. I wondered what it was about.

“Well, see, do you know John, from the swim team?” I nodded. John was one of the skinnier guys. Still handsome and athletic, but a slimmer build than Steve, and he was shyer and more reserved.

“See, uhhhhh,” he looked embarrassed, “well, John is, you know, a virgin,” he grinned anxiously, “and I thought, well, maybe that you could, you know, initiate him, into the ways of the world.” He laughed nervously.

I gasped. “What? That Fuck? Seriously? I can’t believe you would ask me that.” I started walking away confused. How in the world? He grabbed my arm. “Wait Jane, please. I thought….” I stopped, turning back to him. “I thought that you were better than that,” he said, annoyed.

“What do you mean ‘better than that’? Better than being your whore?” I responded angrily, trying to keep my voice down since we were on a public street.

“No, I mean, we just talked about this. How sex isn’t dirty or wrong. How women should be able to sleep with anyone they want without people thinking of them as ‘whores’. How men shouldn’t be possessive. Seriously. I would never think of you as a whore. I’m just saying, you’re such a cool person, you could do this awesome thing as a favor to me just this one time. ”

I was still wierded out by it all, but maybe he was right, maybe I was just being uptight or something. Conventional and American and bourgeois instead of the sophisticated person that I wanted to be and that he thought I was. “I don’t know,” I said, “this just seems really weird. You’re my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to like, own you. Anyway, John’s a good looking guy, right? I just mean, you know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but I thought I would suggest it because he told me he really thinks you’re hot, you know?”

I didn’t know that, and John was a pretty good looking guy, but I just had never thought about it before. “Well, he is all right looking, but it just seems weird.”

“It’s not weird,” he jumped in. “Don’t think of it that way. It’s just sex, right? It’s not that big a deal. You’ll have a great time, and John and I will totally owe you for like, forever. You’ll be the coolest girl in school. ”

I couldn’t believe I was actually considering it. Maybe it would be fun. Maybe I would then have the pride of being more sexually experienced than most of the girls in school. I could almost imagine myself wearing spike heels and laying guys waste left and right.

“Besides,” he said “he’d be willing to give you some money.”

I was shocked again. “Oh my God. You did not just suggest … you really do think I’m a whore.”

“No, baby. You just said that prostitution should be legal. Wait, this is coming out wrong. I mean, if you want to do it awesome, or not. It’s your choice. But you’d rather get paid than not, right?” I stared at him like he was insane. “Ok, forget I said that. We’ll leave the money out of it. I’m just saying $500 might be nice if you want it. You don’t have to take it or do anything.” He seemed a bit flustered.

“I think I need to go home now,” I said, uncertainly, easing away from him “I’ll walk the rest of the way myself.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “just forget the whole thing, forget I said anything. It’s cool. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“I don’t know” I said backing away. “Good night.”

“Good night”, he said, “wait, can I have a little kiss?” He came closer and leaned in. I gave him just a peck. Then I waved bye and turned and started walking for home.

Five hundred dollars did seem like a lot. I had no idea what the normal rate was. That would buy me a nice leather jacket that I wanted and some cool shoes and maybe even a bag. I couldn’t believe I was tempted. I was simultaneously repulsed and a little bit aroused, which made me ashamed of myself in two ways. On the one hand, I couldn’t believe I was getting turned on at the thought of having sex for money. On the other hand, my education told me that all of that was just a repressive, backwards attitude towards sex anyway, so I was ashamed of feeling ashamed. My emotions and hormones were so mixed up I could hardly sleep that night. I tried to masturbate, but the idea of John paying me for sex kept interfering with my fantasies about Steve and I didn’t want to think about that, so I gave up.

The next day, I didn’t hear from Steve at all, which was just as well. On Sunday, he called and we chatted on the phone, avoiding the subject, and sticking to pleasantries. Mom asked, “I didn’t see Steve yesterday, hope everything is ok with you?” sticking her head in the door. “Oh, he’s just going out with his buddies” I lied. I decided I’d just forget the whole thing and take him at his word that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to.

The next day in school I met up with him in the hall. I pretended like nothing happened, and so did he. But he seemed a little more distant, more withdrawn. Later, I saw him chatting with one of the popular girls, Brittany, in the hall. She was wearing a tight blue shirt, reminiscent of a sailor outfit, which showed off her breasts, and a short white leather skirt. She had on boots up to her knees of matching white vinyl, with three inch blocky heels. Her blond hair tumbled down in loose curls over her shoulders. She had on hoop earings and pink lipstick on. Next to her, I looked like a child, in jeans and a v-neck t-shirt.

She noticed me looking and leaned in a whispered something in his ear, then giggled. I was sure she was making fun of me. I turned and walked quickly away down the hall before he saw anything. Damnit, how could I compete with that sex-pot?

After another night of lying half-awake trying not to fantasize about fucking John, I made up my mind. I wasn’t going to be some frumpy loser girl who was too afraid to have a little fun. That morning I put on my sexiest clothes, tight black leather jeans, some gold colored sandals, and a low-cut black blouse. I brushed my hair out and put on makeup, trying not to overdo it.

When I got to school I sought Steve out in the hallways. He turned and saw me, “You look great!” he said surprised. Then I went right up to him and kissed him, and whispered, “I’ll do it,” in his ear. Then I walked away as fast as possible, hoping I left him stunned and speechless.

After school, I got a call on my cell phone, “Meet me out in the back parking lot,” he said. I walked around. He was standing by his car. “Have I told you how awesome you look today?” he said. “Yeah, but I didn’t get to say thank you,” I smiled. He grabbed me and lifted me up and then kissed me, hard and deep until I was out of breath. “God, you’re the greatest girl ever,” he exclaimed.

He opened the door to let me into the passenger side. “So, I rented you guys a motel room,” he said as I got in. I was a little surprised. “What, you mean, right now?” I asked. “Yeah, I hope it’s not too much of a rush. I told John and he didn’t want to wait. Plus,” he added sheepishly, “I figured I would get you before you change your mind.”

I decided that was probably best. I had better do it before I changed my mind too. “Ok,” I said, “Let’s go.”

When we got to the motel, we went straight to the room and knocked. John opened the door. He was better looking than I remembered. Maybe he had filled out a bit. His blond hair was tousled and fell over his eyes, which were blue and dreamy. His arms were muscular without being bulky. But he blushed awkwardly and ushered us in.

“So, um,” he looked a little awkward. Then he pulled a bundle of $20 bills out of his pocket and held them out, not sure who to give them to. Steve took them nodded, then handed them to me with an inquiring eyebrow raised. This was kind of the moment of truth. I thought about that leather jacket and the bag that I wanted, and then took them and quickly shoved it in my backpack.

“Excellent,” Steve said, “So, I’ll be going now,” he backed away towards the door, “you two kids have fun.” He smiled and left.

John and I were now alone in the room together. He swung his arms awkwardly then he went over to the door and locked it and put the chain on just to be safe. I didn’t know what exactly to say.

He said “You’re so pretty.” I blushed. “I don’t think you even know how pretty you are.”

I wasn’t sure what to do, then realized I was still clutching my bag nervously. So I went and put it down on the chair by the dresser.

“So, um, I guess, maybe we should get undressed?” I said, biting my lip.

He came up to me and lifted my chin and then kissed me gently on the lips. “Wow,” he said, “You smell so good.” He leaned in and put his face in my hair, breathing it in. “God. I can’t believe this is happening. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

The flattery and his physical proximity was beginning to have an effect on me. “Steve said you really liked me,” I replied. “Let’s not talk about Steve,” he responded swiftly.

His hand brushed my face and moved down to brush my arms and then, slowly, my waist and my sides. He kissed me full on the lips then, which parted slightly to accept his tongue. He was a good kisser. When it ended he smiled a little shyly, and then said “Yeah, I guess, maybe we should take off our clothes.” Then he began to undress.

I undressed as well, stepping out of my sandals, unbuttoning my jeans and pushing them down around my feet, then stepping out. Then I pulled my blouse over my head. I was wearing my lacy black underwear that day, which I had put on to give me confidence. John eyes bugged out. He pulled his boxers off, revealing that he already had a huge erection. Since he was totally nude I felt that I should remover my bra and panties too. So I reached behind and unlatched my bra while he watched. Then I pushed my panties down and stepped out of them too. Now I was totally naked.

John reached up and gently pushed my shoulders back towards the bed, until I lay down with my feet dangling off the edge. He lay down on top of me, and began fondling my breasts. “You have beautiful tits,” he said kissing them. My heart raced. I was really aroused now, but nervous as a virgin. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my leg. “Oh,” I said, remembering, “we forgot the condom.”

“I didn’t forget,” he said, and pulled one out from under the pillow. I suddenly realized that mentioning the condom probably brought the moment when he would actually fuck me closer. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this. He put it on himself then lay back down on top of me pushing my legs apart with his knees. He buried his face in my hair and neck and rubbed his body against mine. I could feel him searching for the right spot. He was a virgin, I remembered. So I have to reach down and help him find it.

I was incredibly wet and he moaned softly when he found it. He began thrusting slowly, and then, I moaned as he slid inside me. It felt so good. Even better than Steve. I couldn’t believe it, I thought, I was actually being fucked like a whore. I was a whore. This guy had just paid me to let him do this. “Oh god,” he moaned, “god you’re so beautiful,” pumping me, in and out. I could feel how hard he was, and he was going at just the right speed.

Suddenly I could feel that I...